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/30 September 1999
WCW Thunder


Guest columnist: Chazz Holly


I saw Super Calo in the crowd on Nitro.

Hi, WCW fans! I’m Chazz Holly and I’ll be your Thunder reporter tonight and regularly and I’m wanting to do a mailbag before each report so if you have an opinion or something to say and I’ll have it on the next Thunder report with an answer from me. Let’s get on to the report shall we.

We are at the home of the Chattanooga choo choo! Lololloolol!

La parka, Juventud Gurrera, and Psychosis w/out mask vs. both Viannos and Silver King

La parka does the Parka Polka! Silver King and Parka to start off. Parka pulls Vianno 4’s mask and Vianno falls and smashes his head... haha. Juvi gives Vianno 4 the suck it sign. Psychosis and La Parka throwing a temper tantrum for Juvi to get up and Psychosis is tagged again. Larry: They’re doing the Mexican hat dance on him!" Huh? "Here comes Silver Loco!" Larry... please stop. Silver king misses a poorly attempted moonsault on Psychosis. All 6 Luchadors fight on the outside for a little while. Psychosis hits the Guillotine Leg Drop on Vianno? For the win. your winners: Psychosis, La parka, and Juventud Gurrera

They air another stupid Star Wars commercial with that kid that has brownie fetish.

Adrian Byrd vs. Norman Smi-lay

Smi-lay gets Byrd in a side headlock. Byrd chokes Smi-lay in the corner. Smi-lay does the Big Wiggle. Smi-lay throws Byrd into the ropes, Leapfrog, Smi-lay lies down and lets Byrd pin him... He reverses it after a two count and also gets a two. Smi-lay SLAMS Byrd with a double underhook suplex and gets a two-count. He locks in the Norman conquest for the win. Your winner: Norman Smi-lay

They go to they’re broadcast colleague Gene Mean and he calls out Mona, but Brandi Alexander attacks her and starts the match that was supposed to be for later.

Alexander whips her into the ropes and then chokes her with gloves. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Mona goes for the roll-up and gets a two-count. Brandi sends Mona into the ropes and hits a big kick. Tenay and Larry keeps talking about Alexander being frustrated *sigh*. Larry: Mona better start playin dirty if she gets a comeback." Mona with a Thesz press. Mona with a bridging suplex and gets a two-count. Handspring and elbow into the corner by Mona. She sets Brandi on the turnbuckle and hits the frankensteiner for the win. Your winner: Mona

They review the Hollywood Hogan and Ric Flair tapes.

Dean Roll vs. Frankie Lancaster

Frankie backs sweet roll back into the corner. Dean grabs Lancaster’s face and locks him in a chin lock. A pair of right hands by Roll but Lancaster stops him and hits a powerslam. Scott Norton comes in a nd powerbombs them both. Your winner: double dq.

Norton grabs the stick and says "A mans’ gotta do what a mans’ gotta do, so if this is what you have to do to get one man’s attention that’s what you have to do.

Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobs w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Dave Taylor and Steven Regal w/ ridiculous faces made by Regal and Fit Finlay

Wow Finlay is walking all ready! I know he won’t be wrestling but he’ll probably be interfering some more. The crowd starts an USA chant while Taylor flies Great Britain’s flag ... funny. Morrus and Regal to start off the match, Regal backs Morrus into the turnbuckle with some stiff punches. Regal tries to throw Moruss into the other corner but it gets reversed and Regal comes out of the corner to get back body dropped by Morrus. Morrus picks Regal up and hits him with some punches then backs him into the corner and hits more punches. After awhile Regal reverses it and gets in some kicks, then hits two European Uppercuts on Morrus. Morrus falls to the mat but then gets up and counters Regal’s attack with a thumb to the eye, kicks him and tags Knobs. Regal makes one of his goofy faces as Morrus shoves him into a pit stop by Knobs (yuck). He walks around like he’s having heart problems and finally tags Taylor. Knobs threatens Taylor with the high sign for the pit stop and Taylor begs off. Knobs gets distracted by the crowd and Taylor hits a few European Uppercuts. Taylor tries to ram Knob’s head into the turnbuckle but Knobs hits an elbow and does some ramming of his own. Whip into the corner by Knobs, and when Taylor comes out he hits a nice hip toss. Knobs hits a clothesline on Taylor and goes after Regal with some punches. Now with Taylor in the corner Knobs puts a big smirk on his face and puts Taylor in the pit stop. Knobs throws Taylor into the corner and runs for a clothesline but is met with a kick to the face from Taylor. Taylor comes out of the corner and hits a European uppercut on Knobs knocking him out of the ring. Morrus jumps into the ring and waits for Taylor but they stand there and watch on the outside as Finlay tries to waffle Knobs with a chair, but the referee takes the chair away and Finlay starts shoving as the security comes and escorts him out of the building. Knobs tries to come back in but is thrown out once again and Taylor jumps out to whip him with the flag a few times. Taylor throws Knobs into the steps but Morrus hops out of the ring and helps Knobs back into the ring. Rergal hits some knees to the face of Knobs and tags Taylor. Taylor jumps up and grabs Regal’s neck with his feet making him do a front flip on to Knobs. Taylor hits a punch, kick, then stomps on Knobs for awhile, after he finishes he goes to an eye gouge. Knobs gets to his feet, hits a series of elbows, backs into the ropes but Taylor is ready and hits a knee to the sternum. As Knobs falls to the mat Taylor hits a standing ax handle smash on Knobs. Taylor picks Knobs up by the hair and elbows him a couple of times. Taylor lays Knobs up against the ropes and tags Regal. Regal comes in and they both punch on Knobs for awhile. Regal tosses Knobs into the ropes but Knobs comes back with a clothesline. Regal gets up quicker than Knobs and makes the tag, Taylor goes up to the top rope and comes off with an ax handle splash? Taylor gets to his feet and smashes Knobs with his foot. Taylor picks Knobs up and hits him with another European Uppercut. Knobs is backed into the corner and he and Taylor are slapping each other. *Sigh*., Knobs is snap mared to the mat in the Brit’s corner, and Taylor goes straight to another eye gauge while Regal kicks Knobs in the face. Regal backs Knobs into the ropes, kicks him and hits another European Uppercut, stop the European Uppercut thing Damn It! Regal backs Knobs into the corner and hits a few forearm smashes but Knobs hits Regal with an elbow. Regal whips Knobs into the other turnbuckle and is met with another elbow. Tag to Taylor while Knobs crawls his way to Morrus but doesn’t get the tag because Regal jumps in and punches Morrus off the apron of the ring. Taylor holds Knobs in a double chicken wing and Regal bounces against the ropes, Knobs moves and Regal hits Taylor. Knobs FINALLY gets the tag to Morrus and he comes in punching the Brits as they try to come after him. Both Knobs and Morrus have the Brits in the corner punching the crap out of them. Knobs and Morrus whip Taylor and Regal into each other and watch them hit heads. Regal throws Morrus out but he catches the apron. Meanwhile, Knobs hits a pump-handle slam on Taylor but turns around and Regal shoves him to the mat and beats on him. Morrus has Taylor squared up with the turnbuckle, goes to the top rope and hits the No Laughing Matter for the win. Your winners: Hugh Morrus and Brian Knobs

Drop the Chalupa!

Interview with the Revolution

I didn’t get to see all of the interview but the Revolution talk about some crap that Shane Douglas pulled off a few weeks ago.

Luther Biggs w/ Coach Buzz Stern vs. Bobby Eaton

Biggs comes out all excited and show boats a whole lot. Bobby won with a neck breaker but Glacier whoops I mean Buzz interferes and afterwards puts them both in a full nelson. Your winner: Bobby Eaton

Brad Armstrong vs. Horace Hogan w/ new music

Brad starts off the match with an arm ringer headlock combo taking Horace to the mat. Horace is up as they circle the ring once more, Horace backs Brad into the corner and hits him with a couple of knees to the chest, some punches then tosses him by the head out of the corner. As Brad tries to get to his feet Horace gives him a few more kicks. Horace picks Brad up, whips him into the ropes but it gets reversed and when Horace comes back Brad hits a drop toe hold. Brad locks on an arm submission but Horace gets to his feet, so Brad locks him in a hammerlock only to be elbowed off by Horace. Horace follows up with a series of boots to the back of Brad. Horace helps Brad to his feet and hits him with a knife edge chop that backs him into the corner to be choked by Horace. Horace whips Brad into the next corner and goes after Brad but Brad hops out of the way and Horace gets nothing but turnbuckle. Brad hops on the turnbuckle and starts hitting Horace with stiff punches, he stops at the ninth punch, then jumps off the turnbuckle. Horace leans up against the ropes to rest but gets dropkicked to the outside by Brad. Brad follows Horace to the outside, smashes Horace’s head against the ring, and throws him back in the ring. When Brad gets in the ring Horace bounces against the ropes, leapfrogs over Brad, but when Horace comes back he gets snapped to the mat with a Japanese arm-drag takedown, and Brad goes quickly to another arm submission. Horace gets to his feet after awhile so Brad tries an arm ringer and gets clotheslined to the mat by Horace. Horace stomps Brad, picks him up, and throws him out of the ring. He follows Brad out of the ring and hotshots him on the safety rail. He picks Brad up and whips him into the safety rail, then throws him back into the ring. He powerslams Brad in the middle of the ring, hits an elbow drop, and gets a two-count. Horace punches Brad making spit fly out of Brad’s mouth. Horace sends Brad into the corner and follows up with a big clothesline. Horace kicks Brad. Horace sends Brad into the ropes, it gets reversed but Brad telegraphs the back body drop and gets snapped by Horace in a vertical suplex. Brad pulls himself up with help of the turnbuckle, Horace tries a running clothesline but Brad jumps out of the way and hits the Russian Leg Sweep, floats over and gets the win! Your winner: Brad Armstrong

Baggy pants Jr. and Kidman vs. Curly Bill and Kendall Windham

I didn’t get to see this match but someone told me that Baggy Pants Jr. hit the Frankensteiner for the win.

Scott Norton vs. Goldberg

Norton and Goldberg exchange punches for awhile. Goldberg hits a huge right hand knocking Norton out of the ring! Goldberg follows Norton out of the ring and punches on him for a little while then slams Norton’s head into the apron of the ring. Goldberg tries to whip Norton into the guard rail but when he does Norton catches the rail and comes back with a vicious clothesline. Norton smashes Goldberg’s head into the guard rail. Norton hits him with two knife edge chops and an eye gouge. Norton slams Goldberg’s head into the ring-post three times but on the third time Goldberg just looks at him, punches him and slams his head into the ring-post knocking Norton to the floor. Goldberg stomps Norton, picks him up, punches him and throws him back in the ring. Norton is up and catches Goldberg with a POWERFUL clothesline. As Goldberg tries to get up Norton head butts him, then hits an elbow to the face, and one to the neck. They both colide. Goldberg to his feet first, bounces off the ropes... SPEAR! He’s got him set up, SPLAT! There it is, the Jackhammer.1,2,3. Your winner: Goldberg

That’s all for this week’s report, have a good one.

Chazz Holly

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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission