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WWF Tough Enough by The Cubs Fan




TV PG L. Open. They still don't take out the guys who are gone. 

Previously: At the casting special, Hawk jumped into the fountain and offered to run down the street naked (which we didn't hear before.) Robert and Aaron were cut. Aaron felt betrayed.

Back at Trax (where Big Show is still there for some camera spots - here's him spinning Ivory off the ground), life goes on. Back bumps. Danny says that Aaron being cut is a little unexpected. Alicia says she didn't think she'd be gone, but she also didn't think Aaron would be gone. Matt's not sure what the WWF is looking for. Al explains that cuts are a necessary evil. Jake says that cuts made the competition level go up. Al demonstrates how to do a quarter Nelson (into the Barry Horwitz cradle, right?) with Linda

Jake - and Jake's monologues are funny, because you put them in order by how much blond is left in his spike - explains that each trainer has a kid they pick on the most. Of course, the only one we hear about is Bob and Hawk. In the ring, Bob grabs Hawk's face and says it looks like he's fixing to kiss his opponent. A differ time, Bob throws Hawk down on to the mat. Hawk tells us that Bob's tough on him, but Bob likes him. Bob tells us he doesn't like Hawk and he'll never like Hawk. Hawk offers a handshake to Bob, and Bob just stares a hole through him and tells him to get. 

Jake's one word to describe Hawk is "bizarre." At the house, Hawk's carrying around an empty milk jug, and explaining to people that he didn't sleep much - he had a nightmare about killing someone. And then there's the Hawkwich, which Bob makes him explain to the camera. 

Hawkwich Recipe
2 Blueberry Eggo Waffles
1 big slab of Peanut Butter.
Make sandwich and enjoy!

"A delicious snack that your kids will love!" Big compares Hawk to the poster for WWF Unforgiven - the one with the multiple Austin heads. 

Ring work. Alicia takes the Slow Motion Bump Of Imminent Injury, that sucks. Alicia explains that her lower back had been hurting her early in the week, and it got to the point where she couldn't handle it anymore. She explains to Al that it's not the typical pain, and then she lays on the break floor and explains to Big. Big takes her to a doctor to look at it.

At the Doctor's, Alicia finds out that she has a muscle strain in her lower back. Dr. Robert Gazmarian, M.D. explains that it could take between 8 to 12 weeks for it to heal up. The rule of thumb in these situations is three days of bed rest, then rehab. Not gonna quite work here. Alicia says she wants to get back out there tomorrow - can she just get pain killers? She got some pills to stop the inflammation, and Alicia says she's "going to jump into it, full bore." Dr. Robert asks what's gonna happen tomorrow, but Alicia doesn't know. "They don't tell us jack crap!"

Looks like Optimum Fitness. Hey, Raphael, I'll finally spell your name right. Raphael's all dramatic boot camp guy pointing out that there aren't as many people there. Optimum Fitness montage. Kenny says Raphael is a mean man. He also says that Raphael never takes off his sunglasses - they don't believe he has any eyeballs, just "deep dark sockets, that breath fire and evil!" Anni says OF is one of the hardest things she's ever done, for sure. Danny says Raphael pretty much beats him up as much as he wants, and there's little they can do about it. That's it for the day.

While they're still at the beach, Big explains that there's a lot of components that go into being a WWF Superstar. The personality component is very important to them advancing through Tough Enough - "some would argue, even more important than in-ring stuff or your conditioning." Big says they have some homework waiting for them when they get home - a little written exercise.

Home. Danny talks on the phone - he was happy that Al had nothing to say to him, like "2 or 3 other people." Danny's not good with math or we didn't see what he saw - I count 7. Elsewhere, Hawk's teased that Bob called for him, and Alicia explains her injury status.

Homework is just a couple pages of fill in the blank, about character development. Danny explains that you just have to say a couple words about your personality for each question, and it was easy. For him. Jessie talks in a circle - she doesn't know how she reacts when she loses in a competition because she only competes in things she knows she can win but no Anni that doesn't mean she's thinks this isn't a competition but it IS a competition and I'm so glad when we cut away from this. Matt says it took him three minutes, but HAWK...he was scribbling out answers and nothing made sense. Danny and Kenny goof on Hawk's answers - and Hawk snaps and rips up his homework! "I don't care about this!" He means the homework, although someone tells him he ought to put it back together, Jake points out that Bob's going here about this, and Kenny offers a hug or cookies (and then gives a hug anyway.) Hawk says he's not himself tonight. 

Hawk calls his mom on the phone - it's 3:30am there. Hawk says he's not himself tonight - he wants to do this, but he's destroying his chances. "Something wretchedly horrible is eating away inside of me." Break.

House. Most people are sleeping. Kenny and Hawk are up - Hawk says he snapped, he was pissed. I think he was frustrated at being able to say the right things in his homework, but the way they showed it, it sure looked like he snapped because his roommates were annoying him too much. Hawk doesn't want to be beat by this, but Kenny points out that this is going to be a black mark against him.

6AM. Hawk wakes up Kenny. "Are we leaving now?" "Yea. C'mon, C'mon, you know Tazz is going do this to us someday." Ha. Kenny, Danny and Hawk (Hawk's the only one who looks awake, which probably doesn't mean it's a good idea Danny's driving) go to a Kinkos and make a new copy. Hawk says he didn't like his answers, so he decided to come here in the morning and make a new copy. They almost leave, but Hawk remembers they need a stapler and don't have one, so he goes back in. Kenny and Danny exchange "what a nutcase" looks. Back at the house, Hawk is stuck on an answer, and Danny gets advice while cleaning up. "Well Danny, I, along with the other ten of you, have completed my homework."

Sam Christensen Studios. Big introduces them to Sam himself, who's going to teach them a bit about developing their personality and persona. Sam explains that he had them fill out the questionnaire just to get them in the mood to say words to describe themselves. Pete explains that Sam didn't collect the homework or anything, so it wasn't that big of a deal. Hawk says the same thing - "go figure." Sam explains that he works with actors, politicians, CEOs, anyone building a career that's based on themselves. You know, I find it hard to pay attention to people once I notice that they've put their own name on the back of their chair. 

Kenny explains that they had to tell stories about themselves, and Anni says one was telling a mean thing they did to someone else. You know, I'd like to do this stuff even less than physical stuff. Not that I could do the physical stuff. Danny tells a story about being mean to a kid in the fourth grade. Jessie Who Talks With Her Hands An Awful Lot finds it funny that Danny had to go back to the forth grade to find something that works. Big says Danny is vanilla. Jessie tells something but we don't get to hear enough of it to know what she was talking about - I think it was arguing her mom. Jackie talks about letting a friend go for "a really stupid reason." Alicia was surprised by a lot of people's stories, especially by Hawk's. Hawk was trying to back of the garage when he was 15, but instead of putting the car in reverse, he did drive, and hit his mom (who was standing in front of the car.) He broke both of his mom's legs. Yeow. He was so upset, he didn't want to be at the hospital - which made him feel even worse, because he knew his mom needed him. Jackie and Alicia tells how bad they feel for Hawk. "Only Hawk would do that." 

Sam says that people may think of you differently than you think of yourself, which is kinda totally obvious but anyway Sam explains that this kinda thing is important when you're trying to sell tickets. Anyway, they play this game where two people have to sit back to back with each other, and write a couple words of what they think about that person but they'd never say to their face. Unfortunately, they do the following montage in a way where you can't always tell who they're writing about. The best I can tell, Jackie thinks Pete is "full of himself", Danny calls Jessie a "brat", someone calls Jake a "sweetheart" (money's on Jessie), Matt writes that Linda is "annoying" and Pete puts "obnoxious" for Alicia.  Jessie says that it was like therapy - she got to get out things that shoe wouldn't have the chance to otherwise. Sam finishes up and that's the end of that.

House. People are bored and killing time a bit. Jake starts lifting up one side of the bed with Matt on it - Matt explains to Anni that it's "the ghetto gym." Now Jake's pulling up and down the bed with Matt, Linda and Anni on it - Anni says it's not a bad ride. Alicia explains to Jessie about her injury - Jessie says it's probably better of Alicia just sits out, but Alicia thinks that Aaron got cut because he was out for that day, and so she doesn't want to be out. "It's now or never, you know?" 

Pete thinks Alicia is making the injury bigger than it really is - she's "like a decrepit old lady" around the house, but she's got no problem dancing when they go out. Alicia says it relives a lot of stress to be able to have to weekends off and have a good time. Alicia and Jessie get their hair in order - we cut to Jake fixing his spike. Hawk (eating a Hawkwich) asks where they're going - Kenny says to the hospital if Hawk eats another one of those. Jackie explains to us that they went to Saddle Ranch, which is a nice place and also has a mechanical bull - so before long most everyone was getting a turn on it. Jessie, Matt, Anni and Jackie all take turns - most don't last the whole ride. Big makes a bit with them - if Kenny and Hawk can make it the whole time, he'll give them two days off of Optimum Fitness. If not, the guys will have to go to Trax a day wearing nothing but jockstraps and the girls will have to wear bikinis. Kenny says that Alicia was a little skeptical about it, but he thought they could do it. 

Kenny's up first - he's got the cowboy hat on that Alicia's been wearing for most of the night - and he has no problem. So now it's Hawk's turn - "oh, I could do this easy", Hawk says according to Matt. Hawk is barely holding on the whole time and he explains he got "reamed in the crotch" at the end - he goes down. "Everyone was, in a sense, ticked at me." Danny's mad. Alicia says "public humiliation" a couple times so they can use it in the commercials. Speaking of, break. 

Driving home. Alicia hopes that maybe that Big won't follow through on the bet. Hawk wishes he had another chance. "one my testacies return to normally side." Alicia says it's gonna give her a poor attitude the whole day. Alicia on the phone says she doesn't want to be touching the guys the butts of the guys. Hawk explains what's going on to his mom - "you don't even have a jockstrap!", eww I don't want to see that. Mom also asks if they're going to be filming this...

Trax West. Yep, yep they are. Oh, I really didn't want to see this. Ivory's having a lot of fun. The girls bikinis are a lot less revealing. Ivory asks for a behind shot - yep, you can see far more than you want to see their. Lots of blurring going on. Let's have a nice run around the neighborhood, to confuse everyone. They get some reactions, for sure. 

Stretching - the people in the second row try not to look forward when the guys are bending down. Lots of jokes of that sort all training - we get too (almost) see much more of the guys then we'd ever want too. Al: "There was ass here. There was ass there. Harry ass. Fat ass. Dimply ass. Lots of ass. I was pretty grossed out." Oh no, they're doing leg scissors. Jackie's half hanging out of her bikini top, and Jessie is doing it right because she doesn't want to touch her in certain areas. Danny thinks it's all in good fun, Alicia says she was grossed out the whole day. Al says he can't take it anymore and tells them to stop. Jake: "Jockstrap Monday...the most humiliating day of my life."

It's a cold, windy day at the beach. They have clothes on now. Everyone's working hard. Well, except from Alicia. She explains that the doctor said she had a muscle spasm and a muscle strain, and she can't work out today because she's on some strong painkillers and needs to save her energy for the ring. Pete again thinks that Alicia is really really injured, and she's milking it. Alicia says she doesn't want to Optimum Fitness anyway, it's boot camp.

Big says he'd give the kids some time off from Optimum Fitness if they'd jump into the Pacific. He really wants to give them this time off - he's not winning anything here if they don't. Maybe they're getting time off regardless and he's seeing how much he can get for it. The kids seem pretty reluctant at first - oh, they have to strip down to what they were wearing Trax. No one wants to go in the cold water. Hawk decides to make up for what he did before, strips down and goes in. Everyone else starts to go in - Alicia's the last one, and not to pleased about it. "I have a major paranoia of WATERRRRRRRR!" as she strips down and runs in. Danny says that Alicia is the most stubborn person of the group - that's the way it's seemed since the casting special. Alicia seems to be one of those people who will only do what she wants to do, and not really let those those in authority bully her much, which is a fine strategy for normal life but they're looking for fully obedient drones here. Alicia doesn't get much wet the first time and has to go back. Linda asks Hawk to hid his behind. Rafael actually moves his glasses to over his head somewhere in here - he does in fact have eyes.

Everyone respects Hawk for going for going in. Big says Hawk is unique, and everyone loves him for that. But he also thinks that Hawk has some inner demons that we haven't seen yet.

Next: Jackie (who's now the narrator) explains that World War 3 is breaking out upstairs - Jessie to Alicia : "I will smile tomorrow if you get cut, because if you want me to be cut, I want you to be cut!" I think someone's getting a lesson on this being a competition. There's a cut. Jessie says that all she sees is a huge shadow walking in with a belt - actually, it looks to me like two shadows.

I wish Cold would have Gone Away by now. Chavo wore a Billy Gunn shirt this week - just so you know he was on the show.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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