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FREE BLOWJOBS
Me: aw jeez
Me: you went and linked to the free blowjob picture
Me: I was gonna make that my TITLE
CRZ: If only you'd been able to finish ahead of me!
Me: Me and Albert had it all planned out in chat, you should have
been IN there
CRZ: Ah, but see Albert blew it by making it publicly available to
me
Me: Albert````
CRZ: You could still use it, of course
Me: but that will look unoriginal and queer
CRZ: My friend, blowjobs are NEVER queer
It's hard to argue with that! Hey, it's been a big week. Let's check the
news.
RAW:
Whoa. That was something. I started off just liking the fact that Hogan
came out alone to talk. It's HOGAN, you know? Give him some promo time.
And then he turned his "we fought the Russians" speech into "kiss my ass",
and I still liked it. I liked that even after he turned on the crowd, he
was still talking normally and didn't turn into the "WELL YOU KNOW SUMTHIN',
MEAN GENE" Hogan. It made it seem like he really believed the crap he was
saying (probably because he does).
Then came the Rock. Wow. WOW. The Rock is magical. The confrontation
with Hogan was amazing. The "Rocky" chant turning into "Hogan" and then
back into "Rocky" while both guys looked out at the crowd. Wow. THEN Rock
cupping his ears to the fans, then the handshake, "brother", ROCK BOTTOM ON
HOGAN. Wowie wow wow.
If that had been it, it would have ruled. But that wasn't it! The punkin'
they put on Rock afterwards was equally tremendous. In a perfect world this
would have been how the PPV ended, although it would have made it less
awesome to see it again on Raw. But it was great stuff. If that had been
it, it would have ruled twice as much.
But that wasn't it! Then came the truck business. I thought this was
hokey. It was hokey when Austin did it to Triple H on Smackdown years ago,
and it was hokey now. But I can see the point in it, it made them look a
lot more dastardly and heinous than just beating Rock up. It just was too
close to that "okay this is gay" line. But I still liked, nay LOVED, the
whole thing.
And the best part of it has to be the various reactions stemming from it.
For the most part, it seems it's getting praised from most circles. But
there are some who didn't like it for various reasons, some of which are
GAY. To wit: people making Owen comparisons.
Oh man, Lawler's got his serious voice on! THEY'RE RIPPING OFF OWEN! JR is
talking about it like it's serious! I AM OFFENDED! Who came out next to
wrestle? THE GODFATHER. And who was Owen going to wrestle that night?
Exactly! HAVE THEY NO DIGNITY?
If you have said anything resembling the above, I invite you to stick your
head in the nearest oven. You pathetic Sally boy. Not as annoying but
still funny are the people talking about how the nWo needs to be more evil
because they were cheered while beating up Rock in the ring, then lamenting
about the overkill of what they did with the ambulance. Or the amateur
lawyers wanting charges brought up. Leave me alone.
A bunch of other stuff happened on Raw, too! Triple H won back his #1
contender spot in a really good match with Kurt Angle. Read CRZ's
recap!
NO WAY
OUT:
Hey, there was a PPV on Sunday. It sure seems like old news now. It was...
okay. Not anything special. I was pretty disappointed with the
Austin/Jericho match, but it seemed like everyone was having an off night.
Maybe they were FULL from that awesome CATERING in Milwaukee that WWF.com
has told me about.
STUFF EVERYONE
SEZ:
WrestleMania will be headlined by Triple H vs. Chris Jericho for the
undisputed title, and Hogan vs. The Rock. We found this out on Raw, of
course. Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall is also expected, but Austin is
supposedly not entirely thrilled about having his match at the biggest show
of the year with someone he thinks may not even be around by the time the
show happens. So things may still change.
The thing is, with Hall in a singles match with Austin, what do you do with
Nash? Popular opinion seemed to be having Nash fight the Undertaker, but
Meltzer says that's not in the plans. Taker may fight Flair, judging by
Raw. Splitting up the Outsiders for singles matches, especially when
there's no obvious opponent for Nash, seems kinda strange. I'd rather see a
tag match, but then Austin needs a partner. Who's he going to team with?
"Dude Love!" Aw shut up.
A group called Women's Extreme Wrestling is running a show this Friday
that they're taping for PPV. It'll be an adult natured show, meaning lots
of NAKED BOOBIES I would imagine. It'll be at the ECW Arena in Philly and
they're promising FREE
BLOWJOBS to the first 150 people there. Boy, if that blatant and
pathetic attempt at trying to hook people doesn't work, nothing will. "Like
you did with the name of this column?" Aw shut up. Thanks to Albert for
telling me about this!
The WWA has a PPV this weekend! You can add Jeff Jarrett vs. Randy Savage
for the WWA title to the card I ran down last week.
STUFF DAVE
SEZ:
Regarding the upcoming split of the WWF, Dave says it looks like Raw will
be loaded with stars while Smackdown will be loaded with good matches. The
nWo guys will be Raw exclusive, it seems. The split should be coming right
after WrestleMania, since the WWF already has their split schedule in
place.
There have been rosters released for the first Monday (March 25th) where
there will be a house show on the same night as Raw, with HHH and Y2J and
RVD among the non-Raw crew, but Dave says those rosters aren't official
yet.
STUFF WADE
SEZ:
Credit, as always, goes to the Pro Wrestling Torch newsletter. It's just 2
sweet.
DirecTV apparently gave into everything the WWF wanted in order to reach
an agreement, so the WWF holding out paid off. But now Vince wants to
re-work his deal with In Demand PPV and get a bigger chunk from them,
too.
In Demand takes about a 10% cut of the profits as a "distributor fee", and
it's the WWF's position that PPV is a lot easier to handle than it was 10
years ago and so there's really no distributing being done. So they want
that 10% for themselves, which would be a pretty good chunk of change since
In Demand PPV buys make up the vast majority of the WWF's PPV
business.
But In Demand said no, and the WWF taking their shows off PPV like they did
with DirecTV would result in serious money losses, so it may be a dead
issue. But Vince is trying!
Over on the Torch website, Wade said he believes the WWF has decided to
use Shawn Michaels in the nWo. But it won't happen until after
WrestleMania, due to the WWF not wanting to rush the storyline. It seems to
be expected that X-Pac will join, but nobody is saying when.
Wade also says there's "definite talk" of Eric Bischoff being involved in
the nWo shortly, and that it's considered a "virtual lock" that he'll be
involved sometime in the next few months. That will be one for the
ages.
Scott Hall didn't make a great first impression on the WWF guys in LA the
other week. He was RUDE and made comments suggesting that he couldn't wait
to bury certain guys. He might have been a wee bit tipsy on the spirits,
but now he's taking medication that he can't mix with alcohol and so
drinking shouldn't be a problem.
You know, I have an uncle who had a heart condition and he took pills that
said he wasn't supposed to drink any alcohol while he was on the medication.
But he still drank. And he didn't die! What's up with that?
IMAGE OF THE
WEEK:
Hey, it's Stephanie's nipple! (Allegedly.)
Remember the colum right here on /slash about Terri's nipple? Those were
the days.
CLOSING OF THE WEEK:
Buh bye.
Seadawg
[slash] wrestling
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