BLAH

• Well, that was some bullshit. Scotty and Rikishi HUG and then don't give us the dance? That's insulting. I am insulted. I don't even want to talk about it anymore. Leave me alone.
  
  But in other news, the Rock will return on Smackdown! Also, the nWo beat up Austin, the Undertaker killed David Flair, Kurt Angle beat Triple H in a cage match, and one of Trish's boobies almost popped out to say hello! It was a full evening.
  
  

• WrestleMania is under two weeks away. In an odd turn of events, there has been some significant shrinkage to the card.
  
  
  • Chris Jericho vs. Triple H - unified title match
  • The Rock vs. Hollywood Hogan
  • Steve Austin vs. Scott Hall
  • William Regal vs. Rob Van Dam - I/C title match
    
    
  Chuck & Billy vs. the APA has been scratched, as a result of them gettin' it on during Smackdown. Sir David Meltzer says we can expect a hot nasty 4-way with the Hardys and Dudleys being added. And it seems Undertaker vs. Ric Flair is all but ready to go. And... Angle/Kane? After that, you're on your own.
  
  
• Some big news over the weekend came from Bret Hart's weekly column, where he says the WWF offered him a role at WrestleMania. The first suggestion was for Bret to be the guest referee for the HHH/Jericho match, then they offered him a chance to instead come out during the show and beat up Vince. Bret passed but said he did consider it because the WWF offered him access to their wealth of Bret Hart footage.
  
  Also in the column, Bret said he and Vince had planned to meet back in May when the WWF came to Calgary for Raw. And he ended by inviting Vince to call him if he wanted to settle their differences. Boy, it's just a matter of time now, ain't it?
  
  
• There's some extra chances to catch the WWF on TV in the next few weeks. Wrestlers return to the Weakest Link this Sunday for another go-round of wacky fun and hijinks. Check your local listings! Next Tuesday, TNN is airing a WrestleMania "Flashback" special, which the WWF used to do on USA back in the day. And next Wednesday on UPN is a show promoting the upcoming WWF Divas swimsuit magazine.
  
  Last week's WWF Fear Factor delivered a strong rating for NBC, so maybe we'll get another WWF version of that show down the road, too. And Tough Enough 2 premiered this past Thursday, but I haven't seen the ratings mentioned anywhere. Where's Cubs, I'll bet he knows.
  
  
• The WWF's "Forced Entry" CD has found it's way online. Thanks to my main dog James Kalyn I was able to check out all the tunes, and I gotta say I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping that the actual WWF themes on the CD, like Edge's and RVD's, would be the WWF versions of their music. But the RVD track is just the full non-WWF'd song, and Edge's is actually a remix of the original. But who cares? FULL DISTURBED AUSTIN! Get your illegal copy today!
  
  
• The WWF went on their tour of Asia this past week, putting on what were apparently good shows with a focus on in-ring work. The Asian crowds were said to be pumped, geeked, and jacked for the shows, even booing Funaki as he played the heel against Hurricane. My goodness, treating a heel like a heel even if he's a fellow countryman? Take note, queer ass Canadians. Don't you be fucking up WrestleMania.
  
  

• The WWF has been talking with Scott Steiner. It was reported several weeks ago that Steiner underwent a physical at the WWF's request, and Scherer and Meltzer have been offering differing stories about that situation. Scherer said right away that Steiner had passed, while Meltzer later said that the results weren't yet known. I'm not sure what they'd have to wait for, in my experience you can pretty much tell that you're passing your physical as it happens. But I digress.
  
  Meltzer mentioned that Steiner took the test in Stamford, and this past week Scherer said it was actually in Birmingham with Dr. James Andrews and he reiterated that it had gone well. As a result, Scherer says the WWF has been in talks with Steiner over the past week or two, but nothing has been agreed to.
  
  In the meantime Steiner has filmed some stuff for New Japan's TV show, and they're also interesting in hiring him. And what of the WWA? It's anybody's ball game.
  
  

As always, some of these tidbits are brought to you by the Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter. Bow down when it comes to your town.


• Even though the introduction of the nWo onto TV hasn't set the ratings on fire, early estimates for No Way Out have it doing near 780,000 buys. That's a massive number that would beat Invasion and close in on WrestleMania buyrate levels if it holds up.
  
  
• There is not a match planned for Kevin Nash at WrestleMania.
  
  
• If you're curious who thought up the fantastic "Larry Zbyszko challenges Vince McMahon" idea, it was apparently Terry Taylor. One can only hope that Terry has a deep-rooted personal grudge against Larry and chose this method to get his revenge, as opposed to actually thinking it was a good idea.
  
  

• A couple days ago I heard about this "Billion Dollar Booty" thing that has apparently been floating around like a chain e-mail of sorts. The crux of it is that someone, I have no idea who, is allegedly offering money to anyone that can attend a WWF show and obtain a scandalous photo of Stephanie McMahon. Apparently the idea is for someone to get as close as possible and try to lift up her skirt or pull down the neck of her top or whatever, while an accomplice snaps a picture.
  
  I thought it was kinda funny and then I saw the e-mail being sent, which actually quotes values for specific shots. Let's have a look-see at what's being offered:
  
  
  • Bra shot - from $200 to $1,000
    
    
  • a front panty shot - from $400 to $1,500
    
    
  • a back panty shot (depending on if it's a thong or not) - from $600 to $1,750
    
    
  • a bare breast shot - from $1,000 to $5,000
    
    
  • a bare cooch shot - from $2,000 to $7,500
    
    
  • a bare butt shot (depending on if 'holes' are visible) - from $5,000 to $15,000
    
    
  • other honorable mentions like closeup stomach gets $100+, closeup legs gets $200+, closeup feet (tops get $300, bottoms get $800+), closeup face gets $100+
    
    
  C'mon folks, $15,000 for a visible butthole shot, you can't beat that with a stick!
  
  The idea that someone would really be willing to pay such prices is pretty sad, so it should come as no surprise that this probably isn't legit. But it SHOULD be. And why limit it to just Stephanie? Get anyone you can! Trish, Lita, Torrie... the more the merrier!
  
  You have your mission. I hope to see some results by next week.
  
  

BLAH