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KENSHAMROCKSAYSWHAT

Hello! Nice to see you. Let's check the news.

RAW:

It's a new era. It's a new day. A beautiful day! Don't let it get away. I sure wasn't expecting much from Raw, what with the nWo vs. Kane as the top feud, so I thought it was all right. I saw areas where I think something can emerge where I didn't see anything before. Like Buh Buh Ray Dudley as a singles guy, maybe there's a chance for him after all. But I'll bet D-Von is up a shit creek.

The roster just seems so weak, although Austin and Eddie sure help. Eddie vs. RVD sounds like a good time all around, but I don't know what Austin's gonna do. Austin and Kane and Bradshaw against the nWo? Well, if you say so. Although if Austin has a problem working with the nWo guys as has been suggested, maybe not. Maybe he'll get into it with Flair due to that Stunner, but I'm pretty sure Austin vs. The Guy In Charge has been done before. I'll have to check, though.

How about that Undertaker? He's sent straight from heaven. The new Unified Championship belt didn't seem that impressive, but I haven't liked anything since they changed from the old-style World and I/C belts back in 98. WHY did they do that? Mr. Perfect and the Bossman as a tag team, what is this, WWF WrestleFest? Ha! And a true highlight was Buh Buh hitting the senton bomb and making a face as if to say "HOLY SHIT I HIT THE SENTON BOMB". Between that and Flair hitting a top rope move on Smackdown, it's like BIZARRO WORLD.

I am hopeful for improvements, though. Next week Austin will be able to get neck-deep into whatever he's gonna get neck-deep into. I would like to see Eddie get some time on the microphone to explain his actions. The same goes for Molly Holly... I caught her "I'm Molly Holly again" promo on Heat, but I wanna know why she beat down the wonderful Trish! And I'm sure waiting for Paul Heyman to grab a microphone and tell me what's what.

I'd also like to hear from Raven, but it looks like we'll be hearing from him a lot on...

HEAT:

It was taped before Raw and Raven did commentary. If only Gorilla was still here we could re-create the fantastic Monsoon/Polo team that tore up All American Wrestling for like a month back in 1993. Remember them in the GYM playing basketball? Here's a spoiler free preview:

  • Goldust vs. Big Show
  • Jazz vs. Jackie - women's title match
  • Scott Hall vs. Crash
  • Tommy Dreamer vs. Shawn Stasiak

Scott Hall wrestling on Heat, who'd have thunk it. Looking over Raw and Heat and the dark matches (where D'Lo and Justin Credible wrestled), it looks like the only people on the Raw roster not used were... Steven Richards and Lita. And Steven was hosting Raw at WWFNY. WHERE ARE YOU, LITA?

STUFF EVERYONE SEZ:

  • Backlash is just under 4 weeks away! So far we know of HHH vs. the Undertaker. Yep.

  • One would assume that, based on his return to TV, Steve Austin's troubles with the WWF have been patched up. Just to get all caught up on the story... it's generally assumed to be true that Austin passed on working with Hogan at WrestleMania, but then wasn't happy that he got stuck with Scott Hall. Then he had issues with the way his storylines were booked, and at the same time he wasn't happy that he had sunk down to being pushed as the #3 guy behind Rock and HHH.

    The plan was for Austin to lose at Mania due to nWo interference, but Austin didn't like it and it was changed to what we saw. Austin has apparently been of the mind that he didn't want to use his position to help establish Hall, especially at the biggest show at the year, considering that Hall could screw up and be gone at a moment's notice. And THEN we get to the sticky stuff!

    Wrestling observer David Meltzer says that Hall got drunk at Mania, which did not set well with Austin to say the very least. Actually, in the Observer newsletter, Dave apparently says Hall was in "bad condition"... which could mean any number of things. But on the LAW audio show, which you know just filters down from Dave, they either said Hall was drunk or that he showed up hung-over at Mania. Or both. You'll have to check with Justin.

    Wade Keller, pro wrestling's torch, says Hall did have some beer at the hotel bar the night before Mania, but he did not back-up the drunk and/or hung-over version of the story. Either way, Hall drinking at all would support Austin's position that Hall isn't worth the risk. Another wrinkle to add into the story is the Torch reporting that Austin's ex-wife has moved back to England, taking their kids along with her. That could probably account for Austin being in a pissy mood the last several weeks.

    But Austin agreed last week to come back to TV and all seems to be well. It is assumed that Austin isn't interested in working with the nWo, but he ended up on the same show as they did... so who knows?

  • It looks like the WWF has dropped the Light Heavyweight title. It's the end of an era. X-Pac, the reigning champion, hasn't had the belt since he returned to TV. And a look at WWFtitlehistory.com shows that Tajiri's Cruiserweight title has been added to the list instead, although even as I write this the link still takes you to the history of the Light Heavyweight belt.

  • STEVE! STEVE! STEVE! You know the big bald security guy on Springer who breaks up fights? Well, he's a 'rassler now! Steve made his debut at a Maryland Championship Wrestling show, teaming with Duane Gill in a tag match. Clearly the end of mankind is nigh.

  • Sho' nuff, The Rock will be back on SNL in two weeks. The WWF finally confirmed that Rock will host the April 13th episode. Hooray!

  • The Wonderful Trish Stratus has won an online NCAA-style tournament of sexy sexy ladies. She defeated noted eye-candies Jennifer Love Hewitt, Anna Kournikova, Elizabeth Hurley, Brooke Burke, and Shannon Elizabeth before a dominating victory over Alyssa Milano in the finals. You can GO HERE to look over the results.

    STUFF WADE SEZ:

    Credit goes to the Pro Wrestling Torch newsletter! You betta recognize.

  • Early indications put WrestleMania's buyrate at somewhere near 1.3 to 1.4 million, which would be a record setting number if that's accurate. For comparison, last year's show did about a million buys.

  • Kevin Nash is paranoid that certain people in WWF management who were against the nWo being hired want the group to fail so they can stick their tongues out and say "told ya so, told ya so". Nash thinks the nWo was booked poorly after they came in, which he thinks explains the lack of a jump in ratings. So Nash plans to speak out against what he thinks are bad ideas in the future.

  • Remember how Terri got married a few months ago? Well, it may already be over.

  • The original finish to the post-Mania episode of Raw was for X-Pac to run-in on the Hogan/Rock vs. Outsiders tag match. But his return was saved for Smackdown when it was decided that a lot had already been packed into the show.

    STUFF 1BOB SEZ:

  • Give us money! Ha-HA, I kid because I love.

  • Dave Scherer is saying RVD is apparently unhappy with his role in the WWF, namely the lack of time he gets to wrestle. Back in the day when ECW was thriving... well, back when ECW wasn't dead, RVD used to say he wouldn't go to the WWF because their TV matches are so short and he preferred going 20+ minutes. Heyman has been talking with Rob about it.

    TITLE OF THE WEEK:

    I could have used Mark Henry, but Shamrock just sounded better.

    BEG OF THE WEEK:

    Can someone please buy me THIS? I'll let you come over and play, I swear! Unless you smell.

    CLOSING OF THE WEEK:

    Toodles!

    Seadawg
    [slash] wrestling

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