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Hello, my friend, we meet again. It's been a while, where should we begin? I know! Let's check the news.


I was really a big fan of the show up until Austin's match. And boy does it pain me to designate "Austin's match" as where it went downhill, but good lord a mercy. Austin is in a brutal PPV slump. And Ric Flair... how can so great a wrestler be such a shitty referee? MOVE your ARM when you count so that people can SEE you counting! Come ON.

And Hulk winning the title I just can't get into. He's just so... old. I can see why they put him into the title match, but giving him the belt didn't need to be done. And what really tweaks my melon is that I had most of Judgment Day already planned out based on Triple H keeping the belt.

Undertaker won the #1 contender spot, he gets the shot at HHH that he was supposed to get at Backlash. Jericho cost Hogan the match in my fantasy world, but it's not time for a Jericho/Hogan singles match. Because after two straight PPV losses you really do need Hogan to win a match, but Jericho isn't the opponent for that. So instead you do Hogan/Edge vs. Angle/Jericho, which gives Edge the big match "rub", keeps Jericho and Angle in the Smackdown top-card, and puts Hogan in a match that will be good when he's not in it. The only problem with my card was that I really had nothing for Austin to do.

Now it looks like Hogan/Taker as of right now which I really hope doesn't stick. Dave Meltzer speculated that HHH and Jericho would be added for a 4-way, which should help a little. And Austin looks to be going after the nWo again, maybe in a tag match with Bradshaw or something. I don't know that a HHH/Taker and Hogan/Edge vs. Angle/Jericho card really beats a 4-way title match and an Austin/Bradshaw vs. nWo card, but dammit the other card I could see coming and I would have liked it better because of that.


I like the situation with Austin and Flair because it seems to be building and not rushing into anything. And Flair putting Show as Austin's partner, only for Show to turn on him, adds a whole new wrinkle to the situation. And I like that Big Show joined because the nWo could use a big guy to make them more... tough, I guess. Scott Hall as the biggest and baddest dude doesn't really strike fear into my heart.

When I first heard of Nash's injury I thought "they could put the Big Show in there", cause he's big and he's got nWo cred and all that. But then it was said that Nash would only be out a month or two and I figured "why bother". Cause I don't think I'd enjoy Nash being back in a month and the nWo having two giants, or god forbid Nash and Show having another feud about who the real Big Man is. But maybe Nash will be out longer, I dunno.

So I like the story but I'm just not excited about the matches it will lead to. We've been spoiled the past few years with great main event guys, so that even when the storylines weren't as good the matches were still top notch. And now we've got Austin in a slump, HHH is out there with his repaired quad and his broken kneecap and whatnot, and Hogan... just being Hogan. It's a steep drop-off from what we're used to.

You know what really sucked, though, is that I was hoping for Scott Hall to do his always classic "DUR DUR DUR I'M A BIG DUMB GIANT" walk to mock Big Show, but now that's probably not going to happen. But I guess I've got something to look forward to once they split.

HHH showing up to beat on Taker I really liked. Hunter showed some FIRE, boy did he. But the true highlight was Taker, down on the ground and bloody, saying to the cops "you better get him outta here before I get up!" How awesome is that man, I ask you? It's a tough call between that and half of what Booker T said during his movie review with Goldust for the coveted line of the night honors. I think a tag team with Goldust is a criminal misuse of Booker, who I think could and should and hopefully will be a top card guy on Raw, but he's just so good at what he's doing that I don't know what to do.

One thing I didn't enjoy much was Hogan's promo. When the Undertaker was talking earlier in the show I thought I heard some boos when he mentioned Hogan, but the crowd seemed to have nothing but love for him when he came out. I liked Hogan's interview on Smackdown last week, with the "can I possibly do this" type vibe followed by Jericho calling him "grandpa", sort of letting us know that Hulk is in on the fact that he's an old man who's gotten lucky with this final run on top. But his Raw speech was like something from 1989, building to Hulk vs. the Evil Menace at the next big show, and had far less of the "he's in on it" sort of feel. That concerns me.


  • Hey, the Rock is a movie star! The Scorpion King was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend, doing over $36 million. It's the largest April opening weekend for a movie ever, beating out The Matrix by a pretty good amount. Meanwhile, the movie "Helldorado" that Rock will film later this year is now slated to co-star Stifler from the American Pie movies. That concerns me, too.

  • Old-time wrestling legend Wahoo McDaniel died this past week. And just tonight I read that old-time porno legend Linda Lovelace from "Deep Throat" died in a car wreck this weekend, AND legendary People's Court bailiff Rusty has died, too. If you can think of a punchline to somehow connect these three people, you're a better man than I.

  • Wait, I might have one. Speaking of wrestling, porno, and people who've spent a lot of time around jails... Tammy Sytch is back in the news! One week after saying she had the perfect plan to get back into the WWF, there are stories floating around that Tammy is taking the next logical step on the path back to stardom: having sex on camera for money. In 1997 this news would have caused my head to explode, but now I find myself just morbidly curious about what it'll look like. What a crazy world.

  • In an effort to confuse and perplex me, the WWF announced that SummerSlam 2002 will be at the Nassau Coliseum on Long Island. For god sakes, WHY? Nassau routinely has the deadest crowds of anywhere the WWF goes to, and they're getting a PPV? And a major one to boot? Does anyone reading attend Nassau Coliseum shows? Do the crowds just come across poorly on TV? Are they actually loud and boisterous and undeserving of their bad rap?

  • Tough Enough 2, with it's Jackie & Pete love scandal, did it's highest rating of the season this past week with a 2.1. I dunno if you can really put that on the angle they were running, since the ratings have been growing by a tenth or two the past few weeks. But I guess we'll find out if the direction of the show suddenly shifts.

    In other ratings news, for the first time The Osbournes has passed Raw as the highest rated show on cable, just squeaking by with a lead of one-tenth of a ratings point. This is where the WWF's clever language helps them, as I think they've always touted Raw as the highest rated "regular series" on cable and the "we'll do 10 episodes and then nothing for a year" type shows like it seems The Osbournes will be if they have another season (or like The Sopranos or Oz) don't count as a "regular series" since they aren't on more often than not.

  • Kane's bicep injury is pretty serious and he'll be out of action for around 4 months. The neck injury Lita got while filming Dark Angel is also fairly serious, as she apparently has cracked her vertebrae in a few different places. She may actually need Austin/Benoit/Rhyno style neck surgery. That is a shame.


    My most sincere apologies if someone has reported this, but I can't recall seeing it on any big sites.

  • Rock's last SNL episode did just shy of 10 million viewers. It was the highest rated show of the season except the first episode just a few weeks after the terrorist attacks. For comparison, this past week's SNL with Alec Baldwin did something like 6 million viewers.


    Very little! This past week's Torch was fairly void of interesting news. We'll try again next week.


    Also very little! In fact, I overheard two noted Observer subscribers bemoaning the lack of content in the past few issues. Quite the shame, that is.


    That's all, folks!

    [slash] wrestling

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