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THAT'S *MY* GARBAGE
HEY ASSHOLE

Hello! Let's jump right in!

AHOMOSEZWHAT:

    The past week has sure been a controversial week of controversy, has it not? I talked about Billy and Chuck's wedding last week, but now having seen it I'll take this brief opportunity to say that I thought it ruled. I'm off spoilers so I had no idea what was gonna happen. Bischoff unmasking I never saw coming. Wowie wow wow. He's wicked awesome.

    The whole thing came off about as inoffensive as it could have been, I think. But now after supporting the happy couple and even getting them a touching wedding gift, GLADD is all pissy about it. Basically after saying what they did about the guys being positive portrayals of homosexuals or whatever, which was fairly dumb to begin with, it seems they're mad that Billy and Chuck weren't actually gay. It sounds like they actually expected the wedding to happen and for that to be it, which everyone knows isn't gonna happen on a wrestling show be the couple gay or straight.

    And how about those lesbians! A lot of people sure seemed upset by this one. If you were, that's cool, but I just didn't see what the big deal about it was. They trotted out two girls to show off their naughty parts and get the crowd to hoot and holler. Is it really that different than Stacy and Terri pillow fighting in lingerie the week before with all the shots of Stacy bent over in her panties? Or Stacy and Trish in bikinis rolling in the mud? It's all serving the same purpose, but this outraged far more people and it surprised me.

    Granted, the HLA segment went farther than the other examples with the girls kissing and whatnot... although they didn't actually show us their lips touching. But even if they did kiss, who hasn't seen chicks kissing somewhere before? ECW did the same thing like 6 years ago. That's a long time.

    Maybe people were more upset by the attack at the end. I kinda figured that it'd be a 3 Minutes segment, so maybe I was just expecting it. It's not like they've never attacked women before. But... whatever. I'm not saying the segment was any good, just that I don't quite get all the outrage over it. But you know what DID offend me was having Bischoff out there the whole time to commentate on it. Next time just let 'em GET IT ON!
PPV:
    WWE Unforgiven is this Sunday! Here's what we know of the card thus far:

    • Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker - WWE Championship match
    • Triple H vs. Rob Van Dam - World Heavyweight Title match
    • Chris Jericho vs. Ric Flair - Intercontinental Title match
    • Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle
    • Booker T, Goldust, Kane, Bubba Ray Dudley vs. The UnAmericans - 8-man tag
    • Rosie & Jamal vs. Billy & Chuck - HLA/Kiss My Ass interpromotional match

    Other than Brock winning I really have no idea what will happen in any of these matches. The tag match seems like a no-brainer in that surely Stephanie will not be doing any hot lesbian action... but then again, if Bischoff has to join the Stephanie McMahon Kiss My Ass Club, wouldn't she have to bare her booty like Vince used to? I don't see that happening, either. And at least something could happen to prevent her from taking part in HLA. And with all their build-up, should the Island Boys lose their first match? I gotta go with Team Eric.

    The UnAmericans losing sounds fine with me. Hopefully the crowd is extra hot to make up for Benoit/Angle being a heel/heel contest, as those matches rarely get the crowd support they need. I'll pick Benoit cause he has Eddie to help him. I have no idea what they're up to with Ric Flair, but Jericho seems like the safe choice in that one.

    RVD losing the I/C belt certainly seems like the setup for him to win at the PPV, but... I dunno. What's RVD gonna do as world champion? Who's there for him to fight? Hopefully they have answers for this if he wins. Shawn Michaels and his sledgehammer haven't been seen since he promised revenge on HHH, so that could possibly factor into this one.

    Speaking of HHH, I haven't seen this pointed out much if at all, so have you noticed what a wiener he is all of a sudden? Remember the guy with the leather/denim jacket and the wet hair and the facial gruff for a beard who'd stomp down and bust heads? I think he's dead. Now in his place there's this clean-shaven guy in polo shirts and khakis with a pretty ponytail and a shiny gold watch. Look at his "ZOINKS! (gulp)" reaction when RVD won the #1 contender match. Aside from Mick Foley turning into Cactus Jack, promising to rip Hunter's flesh from his body, when has he ever had that sort of reaction to anything?

    And how about costing RVD the I/C title by getting his own ass kicked? No Pedigree or sledgehammer shot while the ref was down, RVD was so busy beating up HHH that Jericho took advantage of it. I have no idea how this relates to the PPV match, but I'd be interested in knowing why they decided to make such a change.

    Brock/Taker is probably the only forgone conclusion. I'm curious to see who Brock will fight next, cause there's not really an established star left on Smackdown's roster. After Taker we could get to see things like Edge in PPV world title matches. How crazy!
TNA:
    They're back on Wednesday, yep they are. Here's the line-up:

    • The Truth vs. Jerry Lynn (X Division champion) - NWA World Title match
    • Gauntlet For The Gold for NWA Tag Team Titles:
      • Scott Hall & Syxx-Pac
      • The SAT's
      • The Flying Elvises
      • Chris Harris & James Storm
      • The Hot Shots
      • Slash & Kobain
      • Ron Harris & Brian Lee
      • AND MORE!
    • AJ Styles vs. Kid Kash
    • Bruce defends the Miss TNA crown
    • Bob Armstrong unmasks the Bullet
    • Hermie Sadler returns!
    • AN APPEARANCE BY SCREECH!!!

    I can hardly wait!
THE NEWS:
    Let's check it! Credit to Wade.
NEWS FROM WORLD WRESTLING ENTERTAINMENT:
  • TNN issued a statement saying they took serious issue with the content of the last week's Raw. USA used to make similar statements when WWE pushed the envelope and it's always been suspected that statements like these are P.R. moves for the network while privately they've approved of the stunts. The outrage of TSN, though, is considered genuine within the TV industry. They heavily edited the HLA segment.

  • It'll be interesting to see which title match, Brock/Taker or RVD/HHH, ends up as the last match at Unforgiven. The Raw match seems more likely to get the final spot if only because it seems unlikely that Michael Cole & Tazz would call two straight PPV main events. (Yeah, 'cause Ross and Lawler have NEVER called two straight PPV main events. <rolls eyes> - CRZ) Also, it's more likely that RVD will beat Hunter than it is that Taker would beat Brock, so all things equal WWE likes a babyface victory ending the show.

  • All indications lately are that Steve Austin has no intention of returning to WWE rings. Apparently "all indications" are something JR said about it in the Ross Report. There's the possibility that Austin and Goldberg could promote a match with each other without any promotional backing. Or maybe they could even star their own company. Austin would have to get out of his WWE contract first, though.

  • Test and Christian were asked to cut their hair short like Lance Storm. Whoever it was in management who passed that along to them made the comment that "long hair is out", which made someone joke as to when HHH and Nash would be told. What about Edge, his career is over! Anyway, Test and Christian didn't like the idea and I'm guessing they got out of it since they still have long hair.

  • One veteran of the wrestling scene says the best advice to guys getting WWE tryouts is to work out in the ring ahead of time since the company's rings are bigger than the average indy ring. The biggest problem indy guys run into, says this guy, is running the ropes due to the difference in size.

  • Kanyon is considering tweaking his in-ring style to compensate for his shoulder injury.

  • Hulk Hogan was on Bubba the Love Sponge and acted as if he and WWE are the best of friends, but sources say Hogan is frustrated and is still having problems with his back. Bubba asked about rumors that Randy Savage would come back to WWE, to which Hulk said "I hope not, I hate that son of a bitch."

  • Paul Heyman has taken Nidia under his wing. He's known for having regular chat sessions with her, where he updates her on her character's direction and gives her pointers on how to portray her character. Co-workers say Nidia isn't showing signs of letting her push go to her head.

  • The writers have talked about turning Brock because of the babyface reactions he's been getting lately, especially at house shows, but Heyman is strongly against it. Heyman critics say he doesn't want Brock to turn because that could mean less on-air time for Paul. Heyman and Brock have become very tight behind the scenes and are being referred to together in the Austin/JR type way.

  • Sources say WWE isn't interested in Steve Corino as a wrestler or announcer because of all the scarring on his forehead due to excessive blading.

  • Sources keep saying that WWE is interested in Malice.

  • Several former WCW wrestlers are planning to sue AOL/TW based on unpaid licensing issues. Nash has been very vocal about the issue and will likely spearhead the movement.

  • Jericho, who officially re-upped for 3 more years a few weeks back, tried out for the remake of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

  • The Rock and Britney Spears will make cameos in a movie for ABC Family. Test and Goldberg were on an episode of "Kim Possible" on Disney.

  • Triple H did an interview and talked about Angle, Rock, and Taker all being awesome. He doesn't drink, his favorite sign is still the Triumph "HHH is that damn good... for me to poop on" one, and the most annoying thing about wrestling fans is when they approach him while he's eating or taking a pee.

  • WWE sources say that, despite what he's told people and what has been reported, Scott Steiner has not passed any WWE sponsored physicals. WWE isn't interested in Steiner at this time due to health "and other" concerns. Steiner apparently wants a WWE job, especially since his options took a hit when he had a falling out with the Jarretts prior to TNA starting, and he sends out word that WWE is interested in him in hopes that it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy. In response, JR made it pretty clear in a Ross Report that no talks have been had with Steiner.

  • Back when they wanted to do a gay wedding with Too Much, Brian Christopher outright refused to do it. Sources say Billy wasn't thrilled with it but went along because he figured he'd have to pay if he didn't. The wedding was more a Vince idea and Heyman just had to make the best of it.
NEWZ FROM NWA TOTAL NONSTOP ACTION:
  • The mood around TNA is said to be especially positive lately. The Jarretts are excited about new deals they've struck and whatnot. A potential financial backer will be at Wednesday's show. X-Pac and Road Dogg, who's house arrest is finally up, will be on the show.

  • Jeff Jarrett was on an internet show and gave every indication that TNA is around for the long haul. He said they did have to make budget cuts as a result of the Hassman situation, but they are now fine.

  • TNA was warned against talking to the WWE-cut development guys because most of those wrestlers are still under contract.

  • "Slick" Mark Johnson isn't with TNA anymore. He's focusing on the rock band he plays in and they're involved in some Battle of the Bands thing for a record contract.

  • The office soured on the Briscoe Brothers and Lost Boyz a while back when they went 2 minutes longer than they were supposed to during a dark match. It's expected that both teams will be used again, but management tried sending them a message by not booking them.

  • Mortimer Plumtree will likely make his on-camera return on the 18th! Hoorah!

  • A few TNA sources are questioning the idea of continuing to fly in Apollo and Monte Brown.

  • More X Division wrestlers should be coming in. Among the names being tossed out are American Dragon, Xavier, C.M. Punk, Colt Cabana, and Ace Steel. There's also been interest in Kenny and Jake from TE2.

  • David Young is close to signing with Zero One. He's still got two dates on his TNA deal, but they haven't been using him in hopes that people forget the angle with Bobcat.

  • Attorneys for Jay Hassman and Len Sabal filed papers in hopes of having the suit against them moved from state court to federal court. The Jarretts have 20 days to argue for keeping it in state court. Hassman and Sabal are planning to file countersuits shortly.

  • Sean Waltman has had a great relationship with Jerry Jarrett over the years and is expected to get involved in some of the creative aspects, as well as working with the younger guys. 'Pac now has an apartment in Los Angeles and was working out at New Japan's dojo there, where he met with Antonio Inoki. Waltman is working on a New Japan deal and is exploring some options in Hollywood with on-air roles and stunt-coordination work.
NEWS FROM OTHER PLACES:
  • Longtime events coordinator Mike Lima died of a heart attack at 39. He had a wife and four kids. He spent years in both the WWF and WCW. Shortly after WCW was sold Lima was hired for the XWF, where he worked until they downsized a few months back. XWF co-workers say Lima was known for having heartburn and sweating attacks while at the office, but nobody ever considered it to be anything serious. Lima had dinner with Jerry Sags two nights before his death and complained that his arm had gone numb while the two were walking after they ate. Sags advised Lima to get checked out, but Lima said he was too busy. Brian Knobs had become very close with Lima during their time in the XWF and is said to be taking his death very hard.

  • Shane Douglas did an interview explaining why he hates Francine. He says Francine lied during her testimony for a court case filed by a fan who claimed Douglas assaulted him at an ECW show. Shane says he tried contacting her to find out why she lied, but she's ignored him. He hopes her implants come in handy when she starts working at Hooters.

  • Emory Hale, formerly of WCW and the XWF, is still waiting on a kidney donor. Doctors are doing test to see if his sister matches up.
THAT'S ALL FOLKS:
    Bye bye.
Seadawg
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