|Urban America Pro Wrestling by The Cubs Fan||
Urban America Pro Wrestling - 03/11/02
UAPW Champion Willie "the Bomb" Richardson (w/Cinnamon) vs D-Lite in a non-title, "GQ gets a title shot if D-Lite wins" match, joined in progress - I think those are the stipulations; there's probably something that D-Lite is putting on the line but they don't make it clear. They don't explain all that much, which makes it hard for a TV watcher but probably makes sense to them, since this seems like it was set up by some in-ring segment right before the match. Willie's in street clothes here. And he's also down on his knees, asking for a handshake. He gets a kick. Chop. Chop. Right. Whip, kick to the midsection by D-Lite, 'rana no he got powerbombed right on his head. That didn't look good at all. Willie takes a moment to pull up his pants. Your announcers are whoever the usual play by play guys is and Riot. Whip, clothesline. One foot cover one two no. Willie argues that count. Slam. Getting a running start - elbow drop. One two NO. That was a relaxing cover and might have hurt him there. Again the argument. Setting up for a suplex - nah he'll just push him down. I think Willie's got to take this match a little bit more seriously. Here's the suplex. Two hand press cover one two no. Whip, clothesline misses and D-Lite hits the floataround DDT. Can he make the cover? D-Lite's got Jericho's "Playboy Bunnies" shiny shirt on. And as I say that, he hits the Lionsault! One two no. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Corner whip, reversed, Lite runs up the corner and flips out behind Willie, but runs right into the Potato. Cue GQ's music, I assume. Yep, there's GQ and he's got Willie's belt with him. How did he get it? Well, Willie's too busy looking that way and D-Lite manages the inside cradle one two three. (4:21) GQ gets hits title shot, but Riot's already in the ring and attacking D-Lite - GQ runs in but Willie's taking him out. Now all the faces are out and clearing the ring. And here comes all the heels and the fight is on. The play by play announcer says this is the end of a tournament, which confuses me more. He also notes that Riot and Willie are still on the outside, having taken off when the faces hit the ring and elected to let everyone else fight it out when the heels showed up. Evil Commish (w/Zom) shows up on the stage and asks for everyone to stop - they do, oddly enough. Willie and Riot make it over to back up him up. 9-Mil wanders out of the ring over that way too, while Evil Commish yells at the crowd and tells all the people in the ring to make a decision - either stand with him now, or against him. The heels start filtering that way - he's got all the champions with him. The numbers in the ring - all the babyfaces - are kinda thin. Pokerface starts to walk towards the Evil Commish to join his former teammates Naughty by Nature, but the faces are trying to talk him out of it. Pokerface asks the fans - some in the front row are sure rooting for them to go. "C'mom Pokerface, Do The Right Thing!" Pokerface...moons the commissioner, but luckily we didn't have to see it. Evil Commish says that was a big mistake - crowd starts a loud "Willie" sucks. Evil Commish decides that the first people they'll take out will be...Los Mexicanos (I think - awful microphones). The heels walk off, the faces celebrate their together ness in the ring.
A quick look back - face (wrestlers - we won't count the seconds because then it wouldn't be close) there were GQ, D-Lite, Los Mexicanos, Pokerface, Blade, Solomon, and Danny B. Good. That's 8. Heels were Willie, Riot, 9-Mil, Naughty By Nature, 2000CC, and one Latino guy we haven't met yet. That's 8 too. I guess all the seconds (and zoomed in shots) just made it look bigger.
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Los Mexicanos vs 2000CC for the UAPW Tag Team Titles - The PBP announcer is SHOCKED that GQ's gonna get a UAPW shot after all. All the people from the Barrio are here to cheer for their heroes, he tells us. He (okay, I'll go back and check - his name is Rico Steele) also puts over that these two teams have never met before in tag team action; I guess he means in UAPW. 2000CC tries to get the jump on Los Mexicanos quite literally, but it doesn't work. Mexicanos beat up 2000 CC out of the ring and in the ring. Evil Commish joins for color duty. I'd really like to call this match in detail here but honestly, I still don't know who's Cassius and who's Carnage, unless Rico gives me some sort of hint, but right now he's going over what we just saw with the Evil Commish. Mexicanos are a lot easier - Rudo is a big fan of the color red. Carnage and Cassius dress exactly the same. They may have different names on the back of the jerseys but we don't get a close enough sot to see him. "05" is getting beat the crap out of himself now - Russian legsweep, one two count. Now he battles back with rights just enough to make a tag - and the other 2000CC guy gets hiptossed. Side belly to belly by Rudo. Calling for the elbow. Oh wait they're both wearing "05" jerseys, that doesn't help at all. Anyway, Rudo takes so long calling for the elbow that there's no way it'll every work - he gets a modified reverse neckbreaker. Tag to the first guy, whip, double flapjack. You always gotta love the double flapjack. Corner whip, reversed, Rudo runs into a back elbow and a boot. Cheap shot to Eddie (wait, am I imagining things or do they actually have TAG ROPES there?) causes him to come in, and 2000 CC to hit a corner clothesline, throw out into a clothesline. One two no. Eddie's the only one actually holding on to his tag rope. Slam on Rudo. Off the ropes, elbow drop. One two no. Choke on the rope - rope jawbreaker by the illegal man to set up a one two no. Tag, hold for a kick. Forearm. Turnbuckle smash. Raking against the top rope. He almost left Rudo in Rudo's corner, but I guess that's not close enough for a tag. Whip, facebuster and now Rudo should be able to make that tag - except the illegal guy clotheslines him from the outside. Tag, whip, HORRIBLE clothesline that doesn't even come close to hitting. Whip, no reversed into the float around DDT (AGAIN). Dudes, plan out your matches together so you don't do the same exact spot. Tag to Eddie - Rico finnaly tells me the guy coming in for 2000CC is Cassius. Pedigree from Cassius one two no broken up by Carnage - split legged chokeslam from Carnage (that's Total Carnage) one two Rudo breaks it up. Rudo Diamond Cutter one two no broken by Cassius. Cassius with the Stroke on Rudo one two guess what? Eddie broke it up. I think everyone's hit their finisher now. Eddie with a slam and he holds the legs - "QUE PASA!" That's kinda funny. 3D Variant (Eddie did a Flatliner instead of a Diamond Cutter) for a one two three! (7:17) New Champions. I think it ended up being the legal men, but Rudo almost broke up the pin trying to stop Carnage from interfering in the end. All the faces come out again to celebrate them getting one set of the belts. Evil Commish yells at 2000CC and Neo for losing the titles and they're arguing among themselves now. Mexicanos hold up their belts and...eat sandwiches? Huh. Whatever.
9-Mil vs D.O.C. in an non-title WCPW Bonus Match - When prison gimmicks collide! I think D.O.C. is the face - well, 9-Mill just attacked him before the bell, so you'd have to guess so. Corner whip, reversed, 9-Mil goes up to the second rope (awkwardly) and hits the cross body - I believe that's worse than I saw in WOW. Springboard legdrop makes up for it. One two no. Whip, reversed, sidewalk slam by D.O.C. D.O.C. with the suplex, push in the corner, kicks to the chest, right, corner whip, reversed, 9-Mil with a corner clothesline. 9-Mil with a bulldog. 9-Mil going up to the top but D.O.C catches him up there - punches, Torture Rack into a front slam, one two three. (1:36) D.O.C. kicks 9-Mil to the floor and then celebrates his win. And celebrates.
More ads, and we're out.
Final Note: The shows are better than they were when I said I was going to leave - and even back when they weren't running old footage. I get my fill of pointless squashes elsewhere, and it's nice that they're going someplace storywise (even if UAPW's is one that'd been done to death the last five years and WCPW's is muddled by having so many titles), which has been a nice change of pace.
Still, I can get better matches on other shows I recap, I can get better storylines on other shows I recap, and I'm feeling like I got too much quantity as it is. And I've been thinking that instead of watching shows just to recap them, I should just worry about shows that I'm gonna watch anyway - neither WCPW and UAPW is that right now, so this is it. Sorry.
The Cubs Fan
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