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WWE Velocity by The Cubs Fan




TV14 LDV W Entertainment Open Fireworks 

Your announcers are Cole and Al - why is Al making weird noises. 

Mark Henry (world's strongest man) vs the Godfather (w/walking stick) - Cole talks about seeing feats of strengths "in recent weeks" but it's been a while. Godfather gave up the Escort Service "a few months back", which is closer, but I don't think Cole knows exactly when anything happened. Godfather has an unusual haircut. Crowd: "We Want Ho's" Lockup, push down by Mark. He's strong, you see. Godfather claims of a hair pull, Mark makes crying pantomime. Lockup, no Godfather's not an idiot, he's ducking under and there's a kick, right, right, right, right, corner whip - wait no. Henry whips him hard the other way. Over the shoulder and maybe going for Snake Eyes, but Godfather slips down the back, clotheslines misses, Henry puts him over the shoulder again - running powerslam. Godfather rolls out to recover. Is he done? He starts to leave, then argues with the fans a bit. Henry pulls him up to the apron, but Godfather drops his neck on the top rope. Godfather quickly back in, kick, kick, kick, elbow drop to the inside of the right leg. Al: " a human game of chess..." Stomping on the right leg. Turnbuckle smash. Corner whip, reversed, Henry slowly walks in and gets a thumb to the eye. Double chop, boot choke. Whip, reversed, clothesline misses and Godfather hits a jumping shoulderblock. Cover one two kickout is so big that Godfather ends up out of the ring. Godfather back in, kick is caught, Henry turns him around and clotheslines him. Whip, back elbow. Henry nods his head - and now he motions to the crowd. Oh  no - the running Boss Man sit, Henry sliding out of the ring. Corner whip. Corner whip, and Godfather goes down this time. Press slam? No, the bear hug. Godfather quickly gives. (4:08)

Coming up, Triple H/Undertaker highlights from Smackdown.

Snickers Cruncher Undertaker Interference of Backlash - this clips wants to let you know that Triple H clearly would be champion if not for Undertaker.

Undertaker/Triple H Smackdown stuff. (8:58

Later, Cage match highlights. 

Albert vs Hugh Morrus - this is the sixth time they've done this match on one of the B-Shows. Hey what's that cage doing above the ring. Lockup, no Albert with a kick, right, right, clothesline misses, Hugh with a right, right, whip reversed and Albert clotheslines him. Talk about Benoit on RAW. Hugh push in the corner. Open hand slap. Another? No it's reversed and Hugh hits two of his own. Corner whip, Albert charges back out with a clothesline but Hugh ducks, back elbow (Albert stays up), clothesline (Albert stays up), clothesline by Albert is ducked, Albert off the ropes and into a powerslam one two no. Albert with a palm shot to to the throat, rights, Hugh put on the top rope, Albert tries for a superplex but Hugh pushes him off and to the mat. Hugh with a lame second rope axhandle so Albert can hit a misaimed scissors kick - it hit Hugh in the head on the way down. Hugh picked up, pushes forward into the ropes so Albert can forearm him in the back. Again. He stole this from Saturn. Rights in the corner, and Hugh collapses to the mat. Abdominal stretch. Grabbing the ropes for leverage, but getting away with it so far. Now he's caught. Albert argues with Mike Sparks - turns around into a right, off the ropes, under a clothesline, shoulderblock. Off the ropes, clothesline works better this time. Albert with a right, it misses, Hugh with a waistlock, Albert with a back elbow, right, misses and Hugh has him back in the waistlock - German suplex! Cover one two no. Hugh drags him into position - top rope elbow drop never gets the three. One two no. See, I told you. Now he goes for the moonsault. A little late there, Hugh. Oh wow, he's gonna get this off (Cole has no idea what Hugh might be up to) - oh, what a shock, Albert rolled out of the way. Both slow up - Hugh waits for Albert to get up - Albert charges the corner and gets a boot. Another charge and no one's home. Hugh tries a clothesline, it's ducked, and Albert gets the Baldo Bomb. One two three. (4:12) Cole thinks both men were winners in this match. Is Albert gonna beat up Hugh some more? Nah. 

Still to come, who won on TE? But next, cage highlights.

Stacker 2 Angle attacking Hogan from behind of Thursday.

Cage match highlights - and, as a special Velocity exclusive, we get to see the post show fun. Edge and Hogan do dueling poses, but we get the behind view. You'd think Edge would be more out of it with that blood and all. More posing. (5:54) Wow, that extra footage was a bunch of nothing for me.

Coming up, Reverend D-Von vs Big Valbowski. Hey, it's Saturday night, you really don't have any better choice. But next, who won on Tough Enough?

Backstage, Stacy and Torrie talk. Torrie taunts Stacy by filling her on Vince's new paralegal. Why are they here?

Clips from Smackdown - Maven gets a kiss and a kick. And, courtesy WWE magazine, we find out that Maven has a fractured (on the fall from the Tajiri kick, the story goes) fibula and will be out four to six weeks. (:30) Speaking of Tough Enough, here's some stuff about that. They clip out Lillian's screw up. Linda wins. Stacy stalls. Jackie wins. (2:40) In Al's book, all 13 are winners. 

Reverend D-Von (w/Deacon Batista) vs the Big Valbowski - He's no longer Vince McMahon's personal spiritual adviser? Maybe he hasn't been for a while and I haven't cared. D-Von talks (usual) but even the Deacon doesn't appear to be listening - D-Von's talking about how he needs to collect and Batista is slowly waking in the ring. Then he figures it out. Batista is back in the ring suddenly and I think I see a joke about Canadian money coming up - hey, I was right. Cole says that Val is a smart ass, and a fun liking guy who likes to have fun. D-Von punks him out with rights and we're started. Knees in the corner - knee choke. Al makes a joke, but it's over Cole's head. Right, whip, clothesline. Whip, reversed, back elbow,  elbow drop, off the ropes, knee drop, punches to the head. It's almost like he's done the exact same thing in every match. Turnbuckle smash. Chop. Knee. Knee. Whip, reversed, clothesline misses, double clothesline and everyone's down. D-Von up first, Val with a knee, right, right, whip, reversed, hiptoss blocked, Val hits his own hiptoss. "We Want Tables" chant is being ignored by everyone. Armdrag. Armdrag. Kick to the left leg. Repeat. Ditto. Off the ropes and a clip. And a break. 

We're back, and Valbowski is putting on the reverse figure four. Val's cranking it in - Deacon wisely on the apron to distract Brian Hebner, because D-Von is tapping out. Val lets go to get Hebner's attention back (stupid) and D-Von attack him from behind. Corner whip, Val goes down. Right. Corner whip, dropkick. Stomp, stomp, stomp, D-Von out backbreaker around the ring post. Cole says it's supposed to be working the leg but I don't see it. D-von back in, Val up and punching. Off the ropes, and right into the spinning elbow. Having problems rolling him over. One two foot on the ropes. Back elbow. Last rites. Powerbomb? No, back body drop. Val getting up in the corner - D-Von charges into a back elbow. D-Von charges again and gets dropped on the top rope. Both slow up - Val wins punches again. Whip, reversed, Val ducks a clothesline and hits the charging shoulderblock. Clothesline, clothesline. Kick, swinging neckbreaker. One two no. Whip, no short kick, there's the fisherman's suplex one two no. D-Von recovers in the corner. Val charges, D-Von moves, Val hops to the second rope for no good reason - D-Von with a shot to the back and a hangman neckbreaker. One hand cover - one two no! D-Von tired, but going up. Val up there and meets him with rights - superplex? No, he's pushed off. D-Von diving headbutt comes up empty. Val yells at him to get up - back suplex powerbomb one two no. Val argues the count. Perhaps he'd like to go for the Money Shot. D-Von recovers in the corner again, so Val charges into a back elbow and takes out Hebner as he falls backwards. Ref bump, wow. D-Von charges out into a kick, whip, reversed, there's the Deacon trip and the Deacon collection box to the face. One two three. (6:50) D-Von daces. Kinda. 

Credits - Confidential is next.

The Cubs Fan
[slash] wrestling

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