So yeah. CRZ was like "hey wanna do news updates on /slash" and I was like
"okay" and an unholy union was formed. For those of you who don't know me,
you haven't missed too much. And for those of you who DO know me... well,
This is your Weekend Update on /slash, which means it may come at any point around the weekend. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday... it could strike at any time, you'll never see it coming. But what I'm going to do, basically, is take stuff from places that actually report it and then re-print it here. Sound good? All right.
Let's check the news.
STUFF EVERYONE SEZ:
- Hey, there's a PPV tonight. If you haven't heard the card by now, you probably don't care. But what the hell, it'll make this seem longer and more informative.
As for the rest, I predict... Edge - Dudleys - Trish - Taker - Matt. Cool? Cool. If I'm right about anything be sure to come back next week to see me gloat.
- The WWF has started their much anticipated (unless you're a wrestler) roster cuts. Say good-bye to Kwee-Wee, Lash LaRoux, Russ McCullough, Reno, Kid Romeo, Elix Skipper, Jimmy Yang, and Evan Karagis. And from the main roster, say adios to Essa Rios. In lieu of flowers, Essa's family would like you to visit TheCubsFan.com.
Most of those dudes you remember from WCW, no doubt, but if you're like me then you aren't terribly familiar with Russ McCullough. He was one of the WWF's development guys who never hit the big time, but a few weeks ago the Torch gave the low down on the impending death of his career. It seems that after getting called up to work dark matches at TV and some house shows, an opportunity he got due to a recovering Triple H watching some tapes of him and saying "hey give this guy a shot", Russ made a horrible impression on the locker room. Most notably he was overheard talking some smack on Tommy Dreamer, and it seems Tommy is a popular guy. So those comments didn't sit too well with anyone.
This led to Russ being ribbed and mocked, probably some wedgies and maybe he got his head dunked in the toilet by Bradshaw and Russ dude I'd check your bag for poop, but the end result is that he was sent back down. And now he's gone.
- Smackdown was on Thursday. The show featured shocking Ministry continuity between Undertaker and the APA, the glorious return of Rikishi, and Rock and Austin toasting beers together. Probably some wrestling, too.
STUFF WADE SEZ:
Many of these tidbits are brought to you by the Pro Wrestling Torch Newsletter, which you can subscribe to yourself by paying a visit to... you know, if you subscribed to it, what would you need me for? On second thought, don't subscribe. Piss off, Wade.
- You know that whole draft thing? Well, it's expected that (in storyline terms) Vince and Flair will draft guys from "the entire wrestling world". Most likely this means existing WWF guys, jobless Alliance guys, and "free agents" who won't actually BE free agents but will instead be guys who the WWF has under contract. Like if they sign Scott Steiner before then, I guess. It's also expected that some dudes from OVW or HWA will be part of the draft, so we'll see some new faces in there too. Or some new-old faces like D-Lo and Val Venis and other guys we haven't seen for a while.
- It doesn't look like Hall or Nash will be included in the draft, though. The WWF has pulled their offer to both guys. Neither Outsider wants to work the 15 date per month schedule the WWF is offering, and the WWF isn't budging on it. Nobody in the WWF right now works less than 15 days, so if they give in on that demand it might start a giant crapslide. But both guys could cave when they realize the WWF isn't giving in, or the WWF could cave if ratings drop and they need a boost, so it's not a dead issue just yet. But it might be on life support.
- Stephanie McMahon and Paul Heyman could be back on TV once the draft goes down. As for Shane, someone apparently reminded him that he's the WWF's President of New Media, so he'll be concentrating on that for a while.
But in the meantime Stephanie and Paul are busy writing the TV shows. They are 2/4ths of the current WWF writing team, which also includes Michael Hayes and Brian Gerwertz. Bruce Prichard had been on the team, but he's taking a leave of absence due to his wife falling ill. With only four writers, and the split coming up which would ideally lead to two different creative teams forming, I bet we'll see some more job listings pop up at Hotjobs. Get your resume ready, Barone.
- The WWF writers want to get Jericho and Angle and RVD up to WrestleMania main event level as soon as possible. Sounds like a plan.
- Triple H has not yet been cleared to wrestle. He's still hurting when he works out and he probably won't be ready for another month. He's saying he'd prefer to return to TV in January when he'll be able to wrestle, but he's healthy enough to do a run-in on Sunday if he's needed.
- Vince has wanted to turn the Undertaker heel for a while now. Taker has wanted to turn heel for a while now. Everybody's happy! Taker is excited about the turn.
- Michael Jordan's first televised game after his return did a 3.3 rating and the numbers for his next few games dropped into the 1's. Raw wipes it's ASS with those numbers. Fuck you, NBA.
- I could hit you with a buttload of XWF stuff, but is anyone interested? If you are, holla.
STUFF THE REST OF THE PACK SEZ:
- Nothing interesting this week. Or maybe I'm just lazy.
SITE OF THE WEEK:
CLOSING OF THE WEEK: