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Boy, it's been a slow week for news! But I'll see if I can round something up.

STUFF BOB RYDER SEZ:

  • mmm bacon ::chomp:: ::gulp:: ::slurp:: yum. Haha, he's FAT, you see.

  • The big story of the weekend would have to be Bob's report that Nash AND Hall are on their way to the WWF shortly... and that Hulk Hogan will be following sometime around WrestleMania... and that there will be a big nWo reunion. This all sounds interesting and all. I mean, the night the nWo music starts and the logo fills the Titan Tron would be pretty big on the mark-out scale. But the underlying problem here is that BOB RYDER is the one reporting this.

    Normally I would look at a story like that and think "Wow, that's huge. No way would a respectable wrestling journalist print that if it weren't God's honest truth." But that's what I said to myself the LAST time Bob had a story like this, and did Bret Hart ever return to lead the WCW invasion? No, he sure didn't. Piss on you, Bob. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

    You know what was really queer about the Bret story was that, about an hour after he posted it, Bob went back to edit what he said so that it had words like "maybe" and "perhaps" peppered throughout. And the headline to his report went from stating "Bret Hart to return" to asking "Bret Hart to return?". That should give you a taste of who we're dealing with, although in all fairness those sort of edits haven't happened to the nWo story. Yet.

    Anyway, since Bob's story surfaced, other luminaries have weighed in with their thoughts. The two Daves have basically said they've heard similar things and that it's in the realm of possibilities, which seems to mean that it's hardly official like Bob's report would indicate. The Torch has said nothing about the story, but they did post a reader column on the subject. I didn't read it, though. Have you ever read a column submitted by a Torch reader? I'd rather play Yahtzee using just my butt.

    But regardless of the Hogan or nWo stuff, it doesn't seem that anyone is shrugging off Bob's report that Scott Hall is now on his way in too. I think an "Outsiders/nWo meets the WWF" angle will either be the Next Big Thing that boosts interest in wrestling, or it'll be neat for a few weeks before everyone realizes that it's not 1996 anymore and these guys are old men now. Seriously, have you seen Scott Hall's matches from Japan? That "ask me about my grandkids" bumper sticker gets closer every day.

    Now Hall is being added to the picture and I'm still not sure what to think of Nash. What will they call him? Diesel? Kevin Nash? Big Sexy Cool? Ha, see what I did there, I combined his two nicknames. Wait, was Big Sexy Cool a TLC album? I can never remember.

    STUFF WADE SEZ:

  • The last 3 or so issues of the Torch have been filled with little to nothing resembling news, opting instead for allegedly hilarious "year in review" features. Actually, there's been some XWF news, but nothing that would interest anyone with a pulse.

    STUFF CRZ SEZ:

    ROYAL RUMBLE RETURN: GOLDUST - man, if I don't get some good movie quotes out of him, I'll be REALLY disappointed. I wonder what Terri thinks about this?

    I can help! I read an interview with Terri a few weeks ago where she said she and Dustin are still close, and that she's actually been pushing to get Dustin a spot on the roster again. So I guess we know who to thank.

    STUFF EVERYONE SEZ:

  • Raw did a good rating this week. I think Smackdown did okay, as it was going against the final Survivor.

  • Diana Hart's book has been pulled off the shelves due to a lawsuit from Owen's widow Martha. Maybe Martha was worried that the market for Hart books was getting crowded since she apparently has her own book due out this fall. And then there's the movie about Owen she just signed over the rights to. If you can't get enough of it all, be on the lookout for the Lifetime miniseries later this year and then grab your copy of "Owen" magazine which should be out in early 2003.

  • Charlie Haas, brother of the late Russ Haas, beat Val Venis for the HWA title earlier this week. I'm told that attendance was just a tad bit below what Kerry Von Erich's NWA title win over Ric Flair drew.

  • The Royal Rumble is next Sunday! I'll probably run down the card next week, so don't miss it.

    CLOSING OF THE WEEK:

    Adios, muchachos.

    Jake C. Dawg
    [slash] wrestling

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