It's me, Tanvir Raquib, back here to write my second Worldwide recap. I put some research into the first one actually, mostly by reading other recaps by CRZ and my Worldwide predescessor, Jason Hanes, so I could acclimate myself into recapping. Again, I promise all you readers (if you actually care) that I will definitely try my best to put all my effort into this Worldwide recap. Why?, you may ask. Well, I really don't have much to do on Sunday nights and if recapping WCW programming is going to be the way to go other than watching Howard Stern on E!, than so be it.

Much props goes to Mark Burton (a.k.a. mdb) for his Thunder recaps right here on SLASH wrestling. (That's not his name, you know... - CRZ)

One other thing before I start recapping this week's Worldwide. I'd really appreciate if any of you fine 10 or so readers of this recap actually email me and give me your ideas and thoughts about how I can improve on my recapping, how I can be a better Muslim and most importantly, how I can buy a bass guitar, amplifer and cable for about, say $280. Les Claypool RULES! And so does Chaka Khan! On to the show before I GET ON A SELF INDULGENT RANT ABOUT MY INTERESTS OVER WRITING A WORLDWIDE RECAP!

Not Rated For Your Syndicted Pleasure

We're here with TONY SCHIAVONE and BOBBY HEENAN

Schiavone discusses the pay per view known as SOULED OUT. He also talks about the new commissioner of WCW, TERRY FUNK. Heenan gives Tony a present but reminds him not to open it now. (Don't you love those little subplots with these WCW shows? I remember way back when WCW Main Event was airing when.....oh I better shut up.)

Let's go back to Nitro

A limo arrives in the building. Schiavone lets us know it's the one containing *our* new commissioner.

Later on That Night

The nWo tries to confont not only the limo, but guess what the actual commissioner inside it!

Later on That Night

ROB GARNER introduces Terry Funk.

Later on That Night

Funk tells us why he accepted the job to be commissioner. He says it is is because he loves wrestling, REAL professional wrestling. He tells us he needs help and needs an Enforcer, so he brings out ARN ANDERSON.

Later on That Night

Anderson tells us if you think the nWo is going to crank up on its own and run roughshod again, then you are out of your mind. Anderson tells us that if you want guys like Funk and Anderson out of business, you are going to have to drag them by the balls of their feet.

Later on That Night

The nWo responds to Funk and Anderson. BRET HART has the mic now. Hart says there is a classy way for Funk to go with style and that is with the nWo. He tells Funk that he may have a sea of goons protecting and make him safe, but he reminds him that he can go the easy way or the hard way.

Later on That Night

KEVIN NASH has the mic and is directing his anger to Anderson. He tells Anderson that he can make all the idol threats he wants, but they the nWo are going to do things their way. He tells Anderson the nWo can go down to the ring and go through them in 2 seconds, but he'd rather get a hold of DAVID FLAIR, his godson, and raise the ante. He then says VERY ANGRILY that they do things the nWo way, their way and they (Funk and Anderson) don't make the rules, the nWo makes the rules.

Later on That Night

Funk is meeting with security and tells them to look for Flair. However, Anderson tells Funk it's his problem, so Funk tells Anderson that they will look for him together.

Later on That Night

Funk and Anderson talk to Flair's valet, DAFFNEY. Daffney says Flair doesn't want to talk to anybody, especially not Anderson or Funk. She walks away and we see JEFF JARRETT grab her from behind.

Later on That Night

We are transplanted in a match between David Flair and CROWBAR vs. VAMPIRO and BUFF BAGWELL. Tony tells us this involves the WCW Tag Team Tournament. Flair slowly reaches over to pin Vampiro. 1, 2, 3. Flair and Crowbar walk out but....

Later on That Night

The nWo comes out with a captive Daffney. Jarrett is holding Daffney tightly while SCOTT STEINER speaks. Steiner says the Flairs always surround themselves with ugly women and says "this bitch is uglier than your mother." Steiner continues by syaing the question is who is going to get to Daffney first, Flair or them [the nWo].

Later on That Night

We are now transplanted in the final of the WCW Tag Team Tournament which is Flair and Crowbar vs. Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner (which is sitting at ringside, actually at the announcers' table). Funk and Anderson,with a referee's shirt, come out with security. We go back to the ring as Nash gives a powerbomb for Crowbar. Anderson on the apron. Nash, facing Anderson, gives him a crotch chop. Anderson smiles back at Nash. Just as security approaches Steiner and the announcing team, Anderson hits the ring and hits Nash with a crowbar just as Nash was being set up for a powerbomb. Flair lays an arm over Nash, Anderson counts, 1,2,3. Anderson and Funk raise Flair's arms in victory.

Later on That Night

After the match, Jarrett and Hart beat on Anderson down the aisle. Jarrett hits his baseball bat right to Funk's ribs.

Later on That Night

Nash powerbombs Funk really hard as Hart stands in the back with a car. Schiavone tells us the production crew has informed him that the nWo stuffed Anderson into the back of the trunk. Hart looks very impatient and he wants to leave quickly. Nash finally leaves the ring and soon after Jarrett, Steiner and Nash finally arrive. Timing damnit!

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone says even with the kidnapping of Anderson, the most shocking thing is the tag title win for Flair and Crowbar because of Funk and Anderson. Heenan says David Flair is a strange man and was also kidnapped when he was 10 years old. The kidnappers sent Flair home with a ransom note, so his mother sent Flair back with the money. Heenan's present still isn't open......

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone tells us the nWo arrived on Thunder and had been torturing Anderson for three days, which had led to the pay per view match that Funk and Nash will have for control of WCW. He tells us this is an example of how dangerous the nWo really is. Heenan says it was dangerous just like that time the luchadores put their hands on Schiavone.

Let's go back to Thunder

We see the nWo bringing an already Anderson in. They strangle Anderson with a baseball bat as they walk him in the building.

Later on That Night

Funk comes out with an angry look on his face. He comes down to the announcers' table and beats down both PSYCHOSIS and JUVENTUD GUERRERA. (Yes, even underpushed luchadores deserve capital letters.) Funk powerbombs Psychosis through the announcers' table.

Later on That Night

Jarrett tells Funk that the nWo will be out in an hour so they can strike a deal, but in the meantime, Jarrett says he's going to go back to torture Anderson some more. Funk says if Jarrett lays one hand on Anderson, it will be the last thing he will ever do.

Later on That Night

We are now at the end of the Jeff Jarrett vs. NORMAN SMILEY in a Bunkhouse Brawl Match. Jarrett is on the second rope getting boos during his Kid Rock ripoff music. Funk is coming down to the ring and is pissed off. Jarrett delivers a kick and a push to a prone Smiley. Funk comes in the ring, gets shoved and points a finger at Jarrett and says something (they are arguing without the benefit of a mic). Jarrett yells back to say Funk should get his ass out of here and that he will send his ass back to the old folks' home. David Flair comes out and is now behidn Jarrett. Flair begins to strangle Jarrett with a crowbar. Funk handcuffs Jarrett as Flair continues to strangle him. Funk gives the nWo two minutes to come out or he's "going to cut this psycho loose."

Later on That Night

The nWo comes out with a beaten Anderson. Nash says Funk made the biggest mistake of his life. If Funk and Flair harm Jarrett, they will throw Anderson to the cement floor. Nash continues by saying it is real simple, Funk is here to dismantle the nWo and since it is Funk's job, Nash brings up the possibility of a match between Nash and Funk. If Funk beats Nash, the nWo will be dismantled and if Nash beats Funk, then Nash will get the title of commissioner.

Later on That Night

Funk tells Hart that he is still screwed at Souled Out, but tonight, he will kick Hart's ass.

Later on That Night

Funk and the nWo exchange Jarrett for Anderson. Jarrett and Anderson walk near each other and Jarrett bumps Anderson (on purpose!), which leads to Anderson delivering a few blows to Jarett and also a baseball bat to Anderson by Hart.

Later on That Night

We are now near the end of the Bret Hart vs. Terry Funk in a Hardcore Rules Match. Referee CHARLES ROBINSON is down. Hart throws a Trashcan at Funk. Anderson is in the back try to get a referee's shirt on. David says he will referee the match and leaves the room, only to lock the door as he cackles a bit.

Later on That Night

The nWo has now infiltrated the ring and deliver a beatdown to a helpless Funk ,Flair and Crowbar. Steiner hits Flair with a baseball bat. Nash brings Funk up the ramp and onto the stage. Hart hits Flair with a baseball bat. Nash sets up Funk for a powerbomb on the stage and Funk goes through.

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone says that this obviously sets the stage for the Nash vs. Flair match. He syas it was a horrific scene with Funk getting powerbombed on Thunder. Schiavone doesn't fail to note that Nash is ALSO a dangerous man. (Damn, the way this is going, the whole FUCKING roster is gonna be dangerous once this show is over....but anyway) Heenan says Funk is very smart and knows what's going on, but "he better be careful or he might wind up back in his Double Cross Ranch back in Amarillo sitting back with a hayseed in his mouth, wondering why his back is in three different places still left in the ring." Heenan tells us this is very dangerous and the nWo means business. He then asks Schiavone why he let Psychosis and Juventud put their hands on him. Heenan says that if it was him, he would have told them to get "their jalapeño smelling hands off his lapel" or he would "hit them so hard that they would feel like they had three cases of tequila pouring down." He also tells Schiavone to be a man and show some gumption. Schiavone tells us at home they will be right back with what is going on with HARLEM HEAT. Heenan's present still isn't open....

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone talks about Harlem Heat and wonders how close these brothers are. He says if BOOKER T can't trust STEVIE RAY, then who can he trust? Heenan says lots of brothers, family members don't like each other. Schiavone says that Stevie swerved Booker T and one minute, he shaking Booker T's hand and the next minute, hitting him. Heenan says it is much easier to hit people from behind. Schiavone says for us to go back to Thunder to see how this all got started. Heenan's present still isn't open....

Let's go back to Thunder

Booker T tells "MEAN" GENE OKERLAND this happened a long time ago when Stevie Ray got hurt. He says he came out alone, got beatdown and needed backup, so he got MIDNIGHT, which led to alot of chaos between Booker T and Stevie Ray. A couple of weeks ago, Booker says, in front of their whole family in Texas ( I thought he was from 110th Street! But no one from Harlem ever says "sucka." I'm from New York, I think I have a handle on these things....), Stevie Ray slapjacks Booker T and did it again "last night" on Nitro. Booker wants to know why and wants to get back on track so Harlem Heat can get the straps in 2000.

Later on That Night

Stevie Ray is in the ring with Booker T. He says to let's get this correct. First, Stevie says Midnight isn't ready and made him lose four matches in a row. Second, he also says he started Harlem Heat and now Booker T had to hire "this bum." Thirdly (is that a word? I just paraphrase what these guys say, I'm no grammar student), Stevie Ray didn't come out to wrestle, but he is ready. He finally tells Booker T to set up Booker T vs. Midnight to prove that "this sucka ain't ready." Booker says just to bury the hatchet, there needs to be two stipulations, that the match be fair and square and if Stevie Ray wins, he gets to be with Booker T or whatever he likes, but if Midnight wins, there has to be an alliance between Stevie Ray, Midnight and Booker T.

Later on That Night

In the ring, Midnight is prone while Stevie Ray stands over her. Booker T runs in to the ring apron. Booker T yells at Stevie Ray, who suspicious has a slapjack in his hand. Stevie picks up Midnight, whips her to the ropes and bodyslams her. Stevie Ray lifts up Midnight one again and yells she's finished. Midnight rolls up Stevie Ray with an UGLY cradle for the pin. Stevei Ray is pissed as Booker T and Midnight celebrate. Stevie Ray hugs Midnight and Booker T and Midnight celebrate some more. Stevie Ray hits both of them with his slapjack, stomps them both down and leaves.

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone says that what Stevie Ray did was the lowest of lows and the fact is the fued has been taken to a new level. Heenan says he's talked to someone who knew them as children and said that they would fight, but with each other, however, there has been a history of fighting between them and not getting along, but they can still be close. Schiavone says they will run down the card for Souled Out when they come back. Heenan's present still isn't open....

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone runs down the Souled Out card. Yes, they did hype Hart vs. Sid and Jarrett vs. Benoit on this show, too. (Duh.) Schiavone and Heenan talk about the Triple Threat Matches. Heenan finally asks Schiavone when he's going to open up the present. Schiavone says he will open it next segement before we get to the ring for our DOUBLE MAIN EVENTS!

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone opens up the present (finally) and its the "Jukebox Favorites for the Wafflehouse" and we go to the ring......

We are now joined by SCOTT HUDSON and MIKE TENAY.

BERLYN vs. SCOTT ARMSTRONG

Armstrong comes out last, once he's in, Berlyn blindsides him with a forearm to the back, punch, EUROPEAN uppercut, kick, whips him to other turnbuckle, Armstrong lifts himself up and over Berlyn, Berlyn misses a clothesline, Armstrong armdrags him twice. Armstrong dropkicks, gets a headlock on, set him up for suplex motion, but instead drops Berlyn face first, lateral press, 1,2. Armstrong lifts Berlyn up, Berlyn givesan eye poke, crotches Armstrong on third rope, Armstrong falls. Berlyn gets a punch, forearm to back, whips Armstrong to ropes, Armstrong slides under, kicks Berlyn in stomach, back to the ropes, Berlyn bodyslams Armstrong. Berlyn with three consecutive elbowdrops, taunts crowd, whips Armstong to ropes, reversal, Berlyn with short arm clothesline, picks Armstrong up, necbreaker. Pin, 1, 2, 3.

Your winner at 1:56, BERLYN!

Commercials

We're back with Hudson and Tenay

TEXAS OUTLAWS vs. DAVID FLAIR and CROWBAR for the WCW Tag Team Championship

Outlaws walk out, Crowbar and Flair hit them from behind before they even get to the ring. Crowbar hits them with a lead pipe while Flair hits them with a crowbar. Outlaws are laid out. Flair and Corwbar celebrate in a truly heterosexual fashion.

No contest (?) at 0:00.

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavoen hypes Souled Out once more. Heenan talks about Nash and Funk's match at Souled Out. Schiavone closes the show and tells us to see them next week!

And we're out......

This week's Worldwide was truly helpful to anyone who hasn't been following WCW programming all that much. It's only a clip show so basically, you can sit for an hour to truly find out exactly what ALL THOSE KIDS in the PLAYGROUND are TALKING ABOUT!

Laters.....