No time for bitching, folks. I'm late with this Worldwide recap but I'm sure you'll live. And I forgot to tape the first four minutes of programming. Sorry to any of you that are upset over this.

Let's go back to Nitro

Welcome as GEORGE "THE ANIMAL" STEELE (w/ green tounge) is introduced by the OLD AGE OUTLAWS. JEFF JARRETT (in ring) looks on with disbelief.

Later on That Night

Steele eats turnbuckle! Once Steele turns around, Jarrett hits him with one of his gee-tars. Little does Jarrett know that standing behind him is ARN ANDERSON. Jarrett turns around from his recent assault on Steele to feel the force of an Anderson gourdbuster! Referee CHRIS BENOIT pulls Steele over Jarrett and fast counts Steele to victory.

Later on That Night

During the second Jarrett match against TITO SANTANA, we see A BUFFALO BILL walking up the staircase to the ring apron. We also take a gander at LARRY ZYBYSKO climbing to the ring apron on the opposite side. Jarrett hits the stroke on Santana, only to have Referee Chris Benoit pull Jarrett off when he goes for the pin. Jarrett walks over to this somewhat anonymous Bill and shoves him, only to be shoved back towards MR. WONDERFUL PAUL ORNDORFF. Orndorff welcomes Jarrett with a kick and a piledriver. Benoit, not suprisingly, is distracted by Mr. Zybysko. This time, Orndoff pulls our favorite 80's icon, Santana, on top of a prone Jarrett for the pin.

Later on That Night

We get to see the third match for Jarrett, this time against JIMMY SNUKA in a steel cage! Jarrett is getting punked out by Zybysko and Orndorff with punches. Zybysko gives Jarrett a bodyslam. Snuka climbing to the top of the cage! So is Referee Chris Benoit! Snuka with a splash from the top! Headbutt from the top delivered by Benoit! Snuka covers, 1,2,3!

I'm (not we, because I'm late) here with TONY SCHIAVONE and BOBBY HEENAN

Schiavone admonishes Heenan a little for something or another. (Hey, like we don't already see this often on Nitro?) Schiavone and Heenan shill some of the AOL Time Warner merchandise on their table. There's a Wile E. Coyote cup! Schiavone talks about Snuka and Benoit and their high risk antics.

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone and Heenan talk about the nWo swerve concerning BRET HART. Schiavone sends us to Nitro to view how this swerve started.

Let's go back to Nitro

TERRY FUNK says tonight, he's going to pur Hart in a special match for the belt. Funk asks him does he know who he's going up against, he's going up against KEVIN NASH. Hart says they are brothers and tells Funk to get a new idea.

Later on That Night

Nash and Hart are talking in the locker room. Nash asks Hart how many times has he been champ. Hart says 7 times. Nash responds by saying he's been a 3 times champ. Hart asks what does he want to do and also lets Nash (and us, not just me) know that he won't lie down. Nash says he won't lie down either and that he will be a 4 time champ before the night is over. Hart says if that's the way they gotta do it, then that's the way they gotta do it. Nash walks away saying "No problem!"

Later on That Night

During the Kevin Nash vs. Bret Hart match, Nash picks up a chair from the otuside and throws it into the ring, where Hart is laying. Arn Anderson comes from behind Nash and hits him with a steel pipe.

Later on That Night

SID runs to the ring as Hart, with a chair, yells at Anderson, who is at ringside. Hart's back is facing Sid at this moment. As Hart turns, Sid delivers one WEAK kick (damn, it's almost as if I'm always looking for negative with Sid.) to the chair, which Hart plants on his head (ala Van Daminator style), only about 3-4 inches from his face. Guess we know who isn't hardcore. Sid points at the cage. Anderson climbs into the ring. Cage starts to come down.

Later on That Night

Sid powerbombs Hart as the cage continues to come down. Sid pins Hart (why?) for the insignificant 1,2,3.

Let's go back to Thunder

Hart saysd he's gonna change things from here on in. Hart also states the nWo black and white is out and the pink and black attack is in. Hart concludes by saying SCOTT STEINER, Jeff Jarrett and Kevin Nash can stick the nWo where the sun doesn't shine.....we hear "nWo".

Let's go back to Thunder

Nash, with Jarrett and a bat wielding Steiner, says shortcuts are what it's all about and that hard work doesn't pay. Nash tells Hart to come back to the nWo because they were the only thing that made the fans care about him. Hart says he's quite happy to say that he is not going anywhere. Hart goads Nash to come and get him and tells Nash that he is finished. Nash looks upset at the proceedings, but says that the keyword is finished, and by the end of the night, his career will be finished and maybe even his life. (Okay, where's Hart's civil suit against these guys? He can get an order of protection! THE SYSTEM WORKS! Hey, if it can work for O.J....)

Let's go back to Thunder

We see a bat wielding Hart in his locker room, Schiavone tells us. Hey, how many locker rooms have broomsticks and a personal computer lying around?

Let's go back to Thunder

We see the nWo walking down a backstage hallway, wielding (guess what?) bats. They scream for Hart in a taunting manner as they look for him.

Let's go back to Thunder

We see the nWo drag Hart down the hallway as Nash enlightens us with the proverb "It's either for life or your life."

Let's go back to Thunder

The nWo is outside the building as we a can with fire coming out. We also see Steiner brandishing a lighter of some kind. Jarrett is holding a bat to Hart's throat. Hart has a blackeye. Nash says it was beautiful and now Hart's tights (which he burns with the lighter first, then promptly throws into the can) are gonna off like his career.

Let's go back to Thunder

Back in the building, Steiner is holding Hart as Nash, who is holding a pair of scissors, says if he wants to be a hero, then maybe he should get a haircut like a hero.

Let's go back to Thunder

Hart is outside alone as he says that he is not going out like this while he walks into the building. Hart staggers for a while, picks up a steel pipes and staggers some more.

Let's go back to Thunder

Hart is in the ring with his pipe as he looks intently at Nash and Jarrett, who both have bats in their hands. Hart looks with mistrust on his face and waits for an attack. Music plays, which brings out Funk, with a branding iron, and Anderson, with a bucket of water, who come into the ring while Nash and Jarrett make a quick exit. Hart is still in the ring. Funk takes the mic and says to Nash that Anderson has got a bucket of water in case Funk decides to put his big ass out. Jarrett, on the other side of the ring apron, away from Nash, slowly climbs the ring apron as Anderson spots him, Hart wards Jarrett off the apron, which stops him from sneaking in. Funk says that it's him, Hart and Anderson, and that it's the three of them against the three of the nWo. Funk tells Hart to get out of the ring and that they will take care of tehmselves. Anderson throws his bucket of water at Hart, as the announcer scream that it was makeup on Hart's face, not actual bruises! Hart quickly hits Anderson with his pipe and Nash comes in and hits Funk with his BUSINESS EXPOSING ( (tm) Scott Keith ) bat shot. Funk's foot is dangerously close to that brandishing iron, but if the announcers can hardly care about anything else on this show, should a recapper? Hart takes off his shirt to reveal.....an nWo shirt. Orndorff and Zybysko come into the ring and take on Nash and Jarrett. Hart hits Orndorff in his gut with the pipe, just as Orndorff was kicking some ass. Nash hits Orndorff with his bat. Zybysko throws Jarrett out of the ring and they brawl.

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Heenan uses a telephone to call to Amarillo. Schiavone tells us we are going to take an upclose look at the interview MEAN GENE OKERLAND did with KIMBERLY. I'm not pleased, nope, not at all.

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone says recently, BUFF BAGWELL and DIAMOND DALLAS PAGE fought at SOULED OUT, 1 on 1, no ref, no rules, last man standing, all revolving around Kimberly. Recently, Schiavone adds, Okerland got an upclose interview with her, but Schiavone thinks she was evasive and avoided answering questions. Heenan agrees and says that Bagwell even said that they were friends. Heenan continues on by saying that Page is blowing this whole thing out of proportion, Kimberly is a tease and Bagwell is innocent.

Let's go back to Thunder

4:36 worth of this pointless and endless drivel! If YOU want to know what Kimberly said, find out for yourself by checking out the Thunder report from right here on this site. I refuse to dictate (which I'm horrible at and already is an arduous task for me) something that's as boring and nauseating as this. I already have troubles with dictating Funk and now, I have to hear Kimberly pace herself talking throughout this whole interview. Here's the bottom line from what I remember: Okerland asks some questions about her sex life with Page, her relationship with Bagwell, her conflicting schedules with Page,yadda, yadda, yadda, IF YOU REALLY GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THIS, well then you are much obliged to. :)

Bret Hart tells us to leave the rough stuff to the pros.

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone shows off the WCW Magazine featuring Sid on the cover. Schiavone plugs it as a great magazine and brings attention to Heenan's column, "Brain Reaction." Schiavone reads some pointless junk out of his column, including something about a candlelight dinner with Courtney Cox. Schiavone tells us it's almost time to go to the ring for our MAIN EVENT. Heenan is searching through the magazine to find the page of his column.

Buff Bagwell tells us to leave the rough stuff to the pros.

Commercials

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Heenan finds the page of his column (12 it is), while Schiavone tells MIKE TENAY and SCOTT HUDSON to take it away.

Palumbo comes to the ring with short leopard skin tights. Cornell is some big bald dude with a pony tail. Short feeling out process leads to a go behind by Cornell, reversed by Palumbo, who flips Cornell to the mat with a samoan type manuever. (Damnit Hudson! Call the damn match! My play by play sucks without one of you dudes calling it!) Palumbo with punches, whips Cornell to ropes, Cornell with the shoulderblock. Cornell runs the ropes a couple of times, Palumbo with a powerslam and a cover for 2. Palumbo hits a nice dropkick for a big man as Tenay lets us know that Palumbo is 6-7, 275. Palumbo with a punch, whips Cornell to ropes, sets up for backdrop too early, leading to a Cornell kick to the stomach. Cornell continues the punishment with a punch to the stomach and a dropkick. Cornell continues to punish Palumbo with 2 punches to his head, whips Palumbo to the ropes, and gives him an elbow to his head. Cornell climbs a couple ropes from the outside of the ring, but Palumbo has enough strength to hit the springboard dropkick (ala Chris Jericho) which leads to Cornell falling to the floor. Palumbo eaves the ring and brings Cornell back in. Cornell gets a punch, kick, punch, shoves Palumbo into turnbuckle. Cornell gives him more abuse with a punch, punch, and a headbutt to his chest. Palumbo is floored as Cornell gives him a kick. Cornell whips Palumbo to the other turnbuckle, kick, and gives Palumbo a butterfly double underhook suplex, covers, 1,2! We see a logo that says WCW Worldwide More To Come as I (not we) take a break.....

Commercials

Cornell with a weak cover for 1. Palumbo with an inside cradle for 2. Cornell gives Palumbo a clothesline, kick, kick, kneedrop, grabs Palumbo's head and slams it to the ground. Cornell with another kick but misses the following elbowdrop. Palumbo with a punch to the stomach, now Cornell gives him one to his head, and a forearm to his back. Cornell twists Palumbo's arm, delivers some kicks and a legsweep (?), covers,1,2.....covers again (PERSISTANCE....gotta admire that) , 1, 2. Cornell is frustrated, whips Palumbo to ropes, Palumbo with sunset flip for 2. Cornell whips Palumbo to ropes and gives an elbow to his chest, kneedrop, another bullshit cover by Cornell with his leg draped over Palumbo's neck for 2. Cornell picks up Palumbo, whips him to ropes, HIS hiptoss is countered with a hiptoss attempt by Palumbo, which is also countered. Palumbo, with some smarts, uses a hiptoss variation using his other arm to plow Cornell to the mat. Both men slow getting up, Cornell up first, Palumbo with a punch from his knees. Cornell with a punch to the head, next punch is blocked. Palumbo is 3 consecutive forearms, winds up for the BIG forearm smash, but Cornell ducks, kicks Palumbo in stomach and hits a released PerfectPlex. Cornell going up to the top rope, nice hangtime but misses the OLD SCHOOL TOP ROPE FISTDROP. Cornell attempts a punch, Palumbo ducks and a superkick to Cornell's head. Palumbo to the top rope, beating his chest like he's Tarzan, nice elevation for the flying shoulderblock, covers, 1, 2, 3.

Your winner in 11:38 of televised action, CHUCK PALUMBO.

We're back with Schiavone and Heenan

Schiavone comment on the merchandise on their table. Next week, they'll be talking about SuperBrawl and what happened at Souled Out.

And we are out.