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/5 February 2000

WCW Worldwide by Tanvir Raquib




Hmm....I get a mention by CRZ?

Just for any of you who missed it......

"Tanvir's CATCHING UP with the Worldwide - here's last week's! Yesterday's will show up sometime in March, I think. Hey, Raquib - *I* like your recaps. Does that make me your #2 fan?" - CRZ, 2/7/2000 or 7.2.2K, for any of you, well one of you anglophiles (smirk).......E.C. Ostermeyer gives you an ECW REPORT that SMOKES EVERY other "ECW on TNN" report you can read out there! It's THAT good! Some REAL website needs to hire this guy!"

- CRZ, 2/7/2000 or 7.2.2K, for any of you, well one of you anglophiles (smirk).

He mentions me for more than one sentence! For more than one sentence! I have ONE MORE FAN! Yo Daniel Cans, watch out! He might kick you out of first place if you don't kiss my ass enough!

And he MIGHT be taking a potshot at SOME "ECW on TNN" recapper out there. Hey, I prefer E.C.'s reports also....he's laid back and not totally divulging over his personal life as much as ME or SOME RECAPPERS OUT THERE. Not that there's anything wrong with that at all.....

UPDATE: I now have a THIRD FAN by the name of Patrick Barker, who did a couple of PPV Recaps right here at [SLASH]. Now I'd advice all of you to go read his recaps and email him!

Jason Hanes was a better recapper than me, at least he was witty, I'm just the resident [SLASH] cornball. Not trying to be arrogant, but I do think I do a somewhat decent job, although my play by play sucks and sometimes I feel that I'm not putting enough of my personality into my recaps and that it comes off a bit stale, but I'm gonna work on making these recaps comfortable for all of you.

Oh yeah, mdb is Mark BISHOP. We make mistakes, albeit small inconsequential ones.

Hey, this Worldwide job isn't thankless to anybody who may think that. Recapping any show that recaps some of the company's "most interesting" angles isn't so bad. It allows me to focus on my strengths, writing

As if you're not used to this: "Third Rate Band" just recorded some shit this Saturday! Great stuff all around. When 3 friends work together with one common goal, anything is possible! Ya see, Scaia ain't the only one shamelessly plugging away his musical adventures! I've written "55 Stories", Cans has written "Ordinary Symptom" and some cool whiteboy raps for our 10 minute rap! Big John's got more beats than his mom got COUPONS! (Insider Third Rate Band stuff) Hey, promoting "Third Rate Band" is ENOUGH of a reason to recap this week's Worldwide for ya! And believe me, I harbor absolutely NO anger to any of you people (if there are any) who read this recap and still won't give me the time of day in an email.

Kudos to the dudes right here at [SLASH] who got a mention in CRZ's Emzee column.

And now that we've gotten this unnecessary bullshit out of the way......

We're going through Fire and Rain with James Taylor as we recap this week's batch of Rated TV-PG-V syndicated goodness!

Let's welcome ourselves to the Worldwide Set

We see Tony Schiavone and Bobby Heenan sitting with the WCW Merchandise stacked all around their table. Tony says hello and introduces himself and Bobby. He tells us we're gonna see some exciting matches and find out how Sid Vicious had to win the belt not once, but twice this week. We're going to talk about the SuperBrawl card. But before we talk about Sid Vicious, Tony says, he remembers how Bobby complained about not having a big cup last week. (Another Worldwide angle I missed out on talking about. Whatever.) Tony says they've found a cup for him that's a little bit bigger. He reaches down and brings out a huge ass bowl......I know you care about this shit. Tony says Bobby is going to the Power Plant to talk to the stars of tomorrow, but let's talk about the REAL star of tomorrow, the millenium man, Sid Vicious. He says Vicious had quite a week and it started when Vicious faced Kevin Nash on Nitro, but first had to go through Don Harris instead of Jeff Jarrett to get through the King of Workrate. Heenan says Nash is going to do more for our industry than anyone ever . He says he doesn't kiss up to anybody but Nash makes the right decisions and he knows what he is doing. He says luck plays an important part but Vicious was mentally and physically ready for the challenge.

From Nitro!

The King of Workrate delivers Bob Ryder's Champion the bad news

Nash tells Jarrett that the reports says Jarrett is unable to perform tonight and that he flunked his physical. Jarrett looks upset at the news. Jarrett: "I slapped them slapnuts!"

The King of Workrate Finds A Replacement

Nash talks to the Harris Brothers/Twins/Boyz and asks if one of them would like to compete against Sid. One of them says "yeah" or something of that nature. Nash decides to learn some names: "You're Don and you're Ron" Jarrett: "Heavy D and Ronnie!"

I Bring You Clips of Don Harris vs. The REAL Star of Tomorrow

Harris with a cover for 2. Don with a rear chinlock, Sid looks in agony as he tries to pull for thr ropes. Sid looks unconscious! The ref raises Sid's hand, but it falls. We see Ron Harris screaming something to the effect of "Yeah! This is how it's done!" Okay, the ref raises Sid's hands again and now he's getting back up! Harris trying to keep the chinlock on him, bu Sid gets some elbows in! Harris gets whipped to the ropes....CHOKESLAM! Sid cheering to the fans. The twins switch as the referee was easily distracted by Sid's pop. This twin's got a tie and he's leveling some punches at Sid. Harris tries to whip Harris to the other ropes, but Sid gets the good ole irish whip in, there's the weak ass kick, and here comes the powerbomb! Cover, 1!, 2!, 3!

Thank Goodness This Is Clipped (The King of Workrate vs. The REAL Star of Tomorrow)

We see an unconscious Charles Robinson as Sid get a boot on Nash and he covers, but Robinson is still down. Sid lands a legdrop. Sid listens to the fans as he seems to be signaling a powerbomb and an end to this match. Out comes Jarrett with the nWo GEETAR. Sid has got Nash in powerbomb position but he sees Jarrett and throws him out of the ring after a couple of punches. The guitar is in the ring and there's a KABONG shot for Nash. Robinson getting up. Sid, being one of the great minds of our sport, falls to the floor to create the illusion that he has also been injured by the guitar as well. Robinson starts the 10 count. Sid crawling to Nash and covers him for the pin, 1, 2, 3.

We're Back at the Worldwide Set

Tony says that seeing Sid win the title over Nash was a big night for WCW. Bobby says it was a big night for Sid as well. He talks about the battles he has gone through with Goldberg since coming to WCW. He says Sid has earned winning the title. He points to the cardboard facsimile of Nash on the set and says Nash is a great wrestler and an even better commissioner. Tony says it's only part of the story because only 2 nights later, Sid was stripped of the title and would be forced to win it back on Thunder.


We're Back For More Fun

Tony says that we're back and that we should talk about very important part in WCW history. He says although Sid won the title on Nitro, Nash strips him of the belt on Thunder. Nash says Sid must wrestle in a cage match, but Sid prevails. Heenan says Nash is going to make alot of enemies and friends, but most importantly, he's going to make Sid an enemy and he doesn't know if that a great idea. Tony says that it's time for us to go to Thunder and see Sid's first interview since becoming champion and Nash giving Sid the bad news.

From Thunder!

The REAL Star of Tomorrow Speaks to Gene Okerland

Sid says he has only one thing on his mind and that was to stand for WCW. He also says that even though Nash outlawed the powerbomb but still he was able to be champion and that he won the title but he will not be satisfied unless he gets an unconditional victory over the nWo. (Note: This interview must've been REAL long because they clipped through this sucker 3 times and this was all they showed on Worldwide.)

The King of Workrate Screws The REAL.....aww fuck it...let's just call him Sid

Nash says that as commissioner, there's alot of things he has got to do that sicken him, but he's got to abide by the rules he has set. He continues by saying the stipulations of the Roadblock match was that Sid had to defeat one of the Harris Brothers and if he did not defeat him, then Nash would take the title. Nash tells someone in the back to put on the footage from Nitro. We see an illegal powerbomb on the wrong Harris brother, the one WITH the tie on. The referee, realizing his mistake, counts to 10 adn Sid is counted out. Nash says rules are rules and at this time, Sid needs to relinquish the belt. David Penzer, the announcer, pulls off Sid's belt. Nash says that Sid has one more opportunity to win the belt back and that is in a cage match against Nash and the Harris brother that Sid did not beat. The stipulations for this match are the same, however. The powerbomb is banned and Sid must pin Nash to win his belt back.

Arn Anderson and Terry Funk give 30 seconds worth of encouragement to Sid.

Funk says the whole locker room is behind Sid and that he's got a plan to help him out.

Footage of The King of Workrate the other Harris Brother/ Twin/ Boy vs. Sid

Nash grabs Sid by the hair but gets throws Nash on the floor in the weakest way and applies a crossface. The crossface looks pretty weakass. Nash taps out! Flair comes out and claps for Sid's victory.

Back to the Worldwide Set for More of that Good Ole Joyous Fun That Worldwide Recappers Love So Dearly

Tony says that Sid has won the title again against all odds and that says alot about Sid. Tony continues on with Funk telling Sid that he had the moral support of the locker room and how Flair applauded Sid's effort. Tony thinks that on one night on Thunder, with Sid's win and Flair's appearance has put a big damper on the nWo. Bobby says that everybody knows Flair's mentality but Nash is still in charge and the boss. Tony asks what the nWo has in store for Sid. Heenan says it won't be pretty. Tony tells us we'll be talking about the Fit Finley-Brian Knobbs fiasco when we return.

We're Back Again For More of That Fun Shit

Tony asks Bobby if he's taken a sip out of his cup. Bobby says it's too big to drink. Tony says Bobby will be going to the Power Plant on this show but right now let's talk about the Hardcore Champion, Brian Knobbs. Knobbs will be facing Bam Bam Bigelow at Superbrawl. Tony tells us that Knobbs turned his back on Finley during a match Finley had with Bigelow. Bobby says Knobbs must be crazy for even messing with a guy like Finley.

Let's Take a Gander at This

Finley tells Knobbs that he wants him to stay here and he's got a wrench for the hardcore match against Bigelow. He says he doesn't want or need him. Knobbs asks for a hug for good luck, which is the prime opportunity to swipe the wrench out of Finley's back pocket.

Recapping Bam Bam vs. Fit Finley Shouldn't Be So Tough

Bigelow suplex Finley into the ring. Bigelow misses a top rope headbutt. Finley gets up and he can't find his wrench. Bigelow lifts up Finley but Finley gets out. Bigelow gets some elbows and gives him the Greeting from Asbury Park for the win. Finley gets up and sees a laughing Knobbs on the screen waving the wrench.

Analysing Meaningless Fueds Can't Be Too Hard

Tony says that not only does Knobbs pick Finley's pocket, but he laughs about it as well. He continues by saying Knobbs thinks he would fare better against Bigelow than he would against Finley. Bobby says we all know how tough Knobbs has been, but with Finley's tutelege, Knobbs has become very tough and maybe so tough that he would think he could take Finley or the world.


And Down The Stretch We Come.....

Tony says that in just a few moments, Bobby would be going to the Power Plant. Bobby says he's going to introduce them to the wrestlers they are training and the facilities that they have right here in WCW. Tony talks about Superbrawl and the three matches they have signed: Crusierweight Tourney Finals, Knobbs vs. Bigelow for Hardcore Title, Mamalukes vs. Flair/Crowbar, and a title defense by Sid against an nWo member. Bobby calls and asks for the extension for the Power Plant.



Bobby drinks out of the big cup. Tony says before we go to the Power Plant, it's time for us to go to our exclusive matches.

The Best Part of My Job

Barry Horowitz vs. "Hard Work" Bobby Walker

Hudson says Tenay's isn't here yet. Walker goes to the ground, trying to grab Horowitz's legs, but Barry will have none of that. Lockup again, but both men get pushed to turnbuckle and break. Suprisingly, no ceremonial eyepoke by Horowiz. Lockup, drop toehold by Horowitz into side headlock, reversed by Walker into hammerlock. Horowitz grabs the ropes. Horowitz getting frustrated, kicks the ropes in disgust. Horowitz looks to lockup, but quickly gets a waistlock, reversed by Walker into his own waistlock, reversed by Horowitz into armbar, but Walker gets a head scissors but Horowitz kicks out before a count. Horowitz looks a bit tentative in there. Maybe it's because of the crowd chanting "BARRY SUCKS!" Lockup, side headlock by Walker, but Horowitz gathers enough strength to get a top wristlock and pulling Walker down by his hair. They look to lockup, but Walker with a knee to the gut, forearm to the back, punch, whips Horowitz to turnbuckle front first, but Horowitz goes uptop Walker, escapes. Horowitz with a forearm, back breaker and a double stomp. Horowitz with a standard pat on the back and a knee to Walker's face. Horowitz with a stomp, Northern Lights suplex for 1. Hudson says he's learned Tenay is at catering. Walker gets up but Horowitz gets a backrake, kick, European uppercut, forearm smash and a headbutt. Horowitz whips Walker to the other turnbuckle, but Walker gets an elbow, kick, punches. Walker whips Horowitz to ropes, back elbow by Walker. Horowitz begging off, bu Walker gets a punch, frontslam, Walker going up top and hits a top rope clothesline. Walker pins Horowitz for 1, 2, 3.



More Of That Syndicated Shit


May I say "God of Thunder" is one KICKASS song? I might have been the only one who dug them at Nitro. Hudson says Tenay was seen applying makeup and he's hoping it isn't Tenay underneath Demon's makeup. Maybe that's NOT something I wanna admit. Demon gets a kick and a couple of punches. Demon with a wristlock while throwing some punches to Cornell's shoulder, arm wringer and then a clothesline. Demon kicks a downed Cornell and gets a butterfly double underhook salto. That didn't look so bad. Demon gets a forearm smash, Cornell trying to recover at turnbuckle, but still gets kicked, whipped to other turnbuckle, Demon with a back elbow. Demon steps on Cornell's hands while pulling on Cornell's ponytail. Demon stomps on his hands, whips Cornell to turnbuckle. Demon with a kick, runs to other rope and kneelift. Demon gets a snap suplex, punch, whips Cornell but reversed to the other turnbuckle. Cornell tries an avalanche but gets a boot. Demon for lariat, Cornell ducks, gets a kick and short variation of dropkick. Demon staggers around but gets a running clothesline, punches, whips Cornell to other turnbuckle and Cornell gets a chicken wing into slam for 1, 2, 3. The Demon gets a rare win on WCW programming.


Now What?!

Bobby is still on the phone telling someone to meet him so he can go to Power Plant. He's gotten up to leave. Tony says we're 2 weeks away from SuperBrawl and hopefully, Bobby Heenan is on his way.

Cue More Stupidity

Bobby finds the camera crew outside the studios. He goes around looking for the Power Plant and says that he needs some closeups because that's what the audience wants. He asks someone if the Power Plant is in the direction he is walking, but the person says he's going the wrong way. Bobby, stubborn as he's always been, continues to walk. They find a big cage and Bobby actually thinks the Power Plant is that way. As he walks in to the cage, the camera crew stays behind. Bobby thinks the camera crew was with him and as he comes back to leave, the door is locked. Why doesn't he ask the guy holding the camera to help him out.

We End This

Tony apologizes for the "lame brain" antics of Heenan. Then he says it's time to end this. So we do.

Tanvir Raquib
[slash] wrestling

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Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission