/wrestling /worldwide /17 June 2000 |
WCW Worldwide by Tanvir Raquib |
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MainBLAH |
Hi, folks. It is I, Tanvir Raquib, one half of best tag team
recapping champions on [slash] wrestling.
My partner, "Big Ed", also known in some circles as E.C.
Ostermeyer headed up the duties last week. We're reading to kick ass and take
names, ya dig? Give him an email - he deserves it for being the sole
recapper of wCwSN after it turned into one big infomercial once the
Ambiguously Gay Duo came on the scene.
Who are the Oracles of Delphi? http://www.ncw3.com/Oracle/oracles.html will
clue you guys in. Great job, T!
By the way, we Oracles are "expanding our horizons" to bigger
and supposedly, better things. We'll keep you posted.
mdb gave me a shout out in his Thunder recap 2 weeks ago. Now
go email his ass and tell him he does a good job. Or just tell him that Tanvir
says hi.
Now sit back, relax and don't forget to email me. By the way,
much love to all 4 of you who sent me emails for my recent columns! *hint,
hint*
wCw worldwide - 41 shots....41 shots.....41
shots
Err...I woke up 10 minutes after the show started. If my friend didn't call
me, I'd probably have missed the show. Maybe I should go to sleep before 1 am.
What do you think?
After the call, I was acclimated by...
A Battledome Commercial! Fear that scary Booker T./Kamala guy -
Kuda?!
Hudson, Scott and Heenan, Bobby talk about Daffney winning the
Crusierweight belt and defending it on Thunder.
Clips (thunder).
Daffney does a huracanrana! Not yet, Chavito! Hancock and Daffney get all
up in each faces! X-Pac ripoff time! GI Booker saves the day! Chavito wins one
for La Parka!
Hudson and Heenan wax poetic about the Misfits in Action.
Commercials - benoit. next week. autograph session. my hood. ecstasy.
Hudson and Heenan talk about Eric Bischoff winning the Hardcore Belt "by
himself" after other guys he sent had failed to do so. Heenan's theatrics during
this segment are amusing, may I add.
Clips (nitro).
Bischoff channels the spirit of Michaelangelo the Teenage Mutant Ninja
Turtle! Funk begins the hilarity! Bischoff needs Just For Men. Damnit, no
exclamation mark. Okay, here's one: good god, it's the Mamalukes! Damn Hoodlums!
He wins - who cares?!
Commercials - fat chick running for Vampiro t-shirts.
ask wCw spot:
For Shawn "The Perfect One" Stasiak, where did you begin training and why
did you become a wrestler?
Alfred Parsard
Brooklyn, NY.
Stasiak gives a "heel" answer for Alfred. He basically says it's in his
blood. Baaaaaah. Check out Stasiak's hair - it's artificial!
Hudson and Heenan back to annoy me. Particularly, Heenan and his "comedy".
It's time to move on.
It's time to break on through to the other side...
Tenay, Mike and Schiavone, Tony greet us...or something.
CHRIS CANDIDO vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS
Lockup - Candido with a side headlock and a boot. Candido with an arm wring
- Daniels with some acrobatics into his own headlock - Daniels pushed into the
ropes - shoulderblock by Daniels. Daniels back into the ropes, ducks a leapfrog
- Candido bounces off the ropes - Candido slides under Daniels - Daniels bounces
off the ropes now...Candido lifts up Daniels, who brings him down with a
snapmare into a headlock, which Candido counters into a head scissors. Daniels
powers out - both men up and Daniels with yet another headlock, which Candido
counters again with a head scissors. Daniels powers out ONE MORE TIME. Daniels
AGAIN with the headlock; this time for 2. Is this psychology I'm seeing?
SOMEBODY'S creaming their pants over this. Candido powers himself up
slowly...both men into the corner, they break, but Candido with the standard de
facto heel cheap shot forearm to the gut. Chop, punch and another chop from
Candido. Candido with a crosscorner whip - Daniels reverses - Candido with the
Flair Flop. Daniels with a baseball slide - Candido ducks, so Dnaiels slams
Candido's head into the canvas. What's this? SPLITLEGGED ASAI MOONSAULT by
Daniels! Daniels with some punches, Candido with a few of his own - Candido
grabs a chair and swings it - Daniels ducks and kicks Candido. Daniels picks up
the chair, which had dropped, and WHAM! You guess. I just lay the hints. Daniels
pushes Candido back into the ring. Daniels with some punches - Daniels whips
Candido - Candido ducks a clothesline, bounces off the other ropes - Daniels
with a backelbow - Daniels bounces off the ropes, but runs into a SWEET
spinebuster for 2. Candido with the delayed vertical suplex. Candido with the
second rope legdrop. Candido complains. Candido with a whip - Daniels ducks
a clothesline and bounces off the other ropes - Daniels ducks another
clothesline and pushes Candido into the corner using his shoulders. Daniels sits
Candido up top - Daniels with a punch - Daniels with a huracanrana. Daniels runs
into the corner, jumps onto the second rope, then hopes onto the top rope and
hits a TOP ROPE MOONSAULT. Daniels is hurt, thus no cover. They exchange some
punches, Candido bounces off the ropes - more punches. Daniels with the
advantage, so he whips Candido - back bodydrop. Daniels whips Candido once more
- leg lariat. Daniels with a "punch" and a crosscorner whip - reversed by
Candido - Daniels in the corner. Candido runs into a boot. Daniels with a
Tornado DDT, but Candido counters with a Northern Lights suplex for 2. Candido
goes for a kick - Daniels grabs the leg - Candido misses the enziguri. Daniels
with a kick and THE PEDIGREE THAT HHH WISHES HE COULD DO.
Folks, it was great. A pedigree at first, but Daniels lifted him up in that
position while keeping the underhook and ended it with a WICKED front suplex.
Now THAT'S talent.
Daniels gets some heat from the crowd for that move, as he should. Daniels
with a slop drop into a spinning neckbreaker for 2 - Candido with the foot on
the ropes. Daniels bitches to the ref. Daniels with a whip - Candido bounces off
the ropes - Candido up and over and hits a piledriver a la Balls Mahoney.
Candido signaling the end. Candido up top and hits the diving headbutt for the
pin, thus the win. (6:08)
Commercials
Allen Funk and Mike Sanders enter the ring first. Hoo boy...Funk's got the
mic. Funk delivers the "Brian Knobbs" mic skills because someone has an axe to
burn. Anyhow, Funk does have something to say: they have dubbed themselves the
Reinforcers. Something or another about Arn Anderson. BTW, where is Arn? They
also have cute nicknames for themselves: Allen is "Angry" and Sanders isn't
"Average" anymore...he's "Above Average". I guess I should take the "average"
moniker for myself, for obvious reasons...
ALLEN FUNK and MIKE SANDERS vs. ASHLEY HUDSON and COREY WILLIAMS
Hudson and Williams enter looking to brawl. Funk and Sanders get the
advantage with punches. They whip Hudson and Williams into the ropes, Hudson and
Williams both duck clotheslines and bounce off the ropes - clotheslines by
Hudson and Williams. Take a look at that sequence...seems a little too contrived
for me. Our Reinforcers take a short breather outside. Williams in the ring now
with Sanders. Quick droptoe hold by Williams. Tag to Hudson. They whip Sanders
into the ropes - double hiptoss - Hudson and Williams bounce off the ropes
together and hit a double elbowdrop on Sanders. Hudson with kicks and a punch -
crosscorner whips Sanders - Hudson runs into a kick to the face. Tag into Funk -
Sanders whips Hudson - Hudson bounces off the ropes - Sanders with a punch
to the gut and Funk with a kneelift - covers for 1. Funk with very "Angry"
stomps - covers once more for 1. Funk with a scoop slam - covers again for 1.
Funk with a kick - tag out to Sanders. Funk with a snapmare - Funk bounces off
the ropes - kick to Hudson's chest. Sanders bounces off the ropes - shimmy shake
and a kneedrop. Sanders with a "cobra clutch" (?), but Hudson fights it and gets
up despite it. Hudson positions himself out of it, but receives a forearm.
Sanders misses a short arm clothesline, however. Hudson takes advantage by
bouncing off the ropes and hitting a flying forearm. Tag out by both men to
their respective partners. Williams with clotheslines for both his opponents -
dropkick for Funk and a spinning heel kick for Sanders. It's that "crosscorner
punch thingy that happens in every tag match", this time with Williams on Funk
and Hudson on Sanders. Hudson and Williams try to crosscorner whip their men,
but they both get reversed - Hudson and Williams realize this and spin around,
but receive dropkicks from Funk and Sanders. If I would EVER want to take
something out of wrestling, it would be this scenario...it's way too contrived.
Funk clotheslines Hudson out of the ring. Sanders with a JawBreaker2K on
Williams. Funk with a piledriver for the pin, thus the win. (2:44)
Commercials
CROWBAR vs. VAMPIRO
The bell rings, but no one wants to wrestle. Vampiro's stretching his
groin, while Crowbar crouches by his lonesome. Now, they both walk around the
ring. NOW, they lockup - they bounce around the ring in that position; off
corners, ropes and such. Finally, they halt at a corner - clean break by
Crowbar. They stall once more - Crowbar looks toward the crowd. Come on, guys!
Locking up again - Vampiro pushes off - locking up AGAIN - they are back in the
corner - they break. Vampiro pushes Crowbar, so he pushes back. Crowbar with a
headlock - pushes Vampiro, who bounces off the ropes - Vampiro goes for a
shoulderblock, but no impact. Crowbar runs into the ropes, but his shoulderblock
does nothing as well. Vampiro pushes him and tells him to bring it or something
to that effect. Crowbar bounces off the ropes - onto the other ropes - leapfrog
by Vampiro, who bounces off the ropes and delivers a spinning heel kick to
Crowbar. Vampiro tries a crosscorner whip, but that gets reversed. Crowbar goes
for a monkey flip, but Vampiro lands on his feet and hits a clothesline. Vampiro
and Crowbar exchange chops - Vampiro takes his shirt off now (Cue 40 year old
women screaming like 14 year old girls at an NSYNC concert) - they exchange chop
once again. Vampiro walks away, but comes back quickly with a full fledged chop.
Crowbar with a boot and a chop. Crowbar bounces off the ropes - Vampiro catches
him and hits a Uranage. Vampiro looks toward the crowd and covers for 2. Vampiro
throws Crowbar outside the ring, but Crowbar holds the top rope while outside
the ring. Crowbar's head is sticking underneath the bottom rope. Get the
picture? Didn't think so. Crowbar hits a really contrived headscissors takedown
to the outside from this position. Crowbar with some kicks and grabs a chair.
Crowbar slams the chair on Vampiro's back and also nails a punch and kick.
Crowbar opens up the chair, seats Vampiro on it and puts a sleeper on him.
Crowbar with a punch as well. Crowbar back into the ring - pescado on Vampiro!
Crowbar with some punches. Crowbar grabs a chair and gets on top of the apron.
>From there, he throws the chair on Vampiro's back. Crowbar now inside of the
ring - he goes for his pipe, but Referee Billy Silverman won't have any of this!
NOT IN HIS RING, DAMNIT! Crowbar loses this battle, so he goes to check on
Vampiro. Sly as he is, Vampiro nails a chairshot on the unsuspecting Crowbar.
Vampiro throws the chair into the ring as he gets in himself. Vampiro with a
front kick and a vertical suplex. Vampiro goes up top and hits a top rope
clothesline. Vampiro covers Crowbar for 2. Vampiro whips Crowbar, who bounces
off the ropes and delivers a kick. Crowbar with a punch - fireman's carry into a
Death Valley Driver. Nice - Crowbar covers for 2, however. Crowbar with a punch
- whips Vampiro, who bounces off the ropes - dropkick by Crowbar - covers for 2.
Crowbar with a scoop slam. Crowbar goes onto the outside apron and hits a
slingshot legdrop. Crowbar misses the People's Quebrada (complete with Cocky
mannerisms!). Vampiro with the chair that he brought into the ring...fucking
ECW...Vandaminator by Vampiro. Vampiro looking toward the crowd...he's symboling
for something. Could it be the end? Why, yes! Vampiro, in fact, DOES hit the
Nail in the Coffin for the pin, thus the win. (6:51)
Back to the studio, Hudson and Heenan talk about Great American
Bash...yadda yadda yadda...they end it mercifully.
Thanks for reading. Email me and I'll email you back. God, that sounds way
too desperate...
Anyways, Big Ed gives you the hookup next week to deliver the goods. Rest
assured, I'll be back in 2 weeks to fulfill my tagteam duties...
Until then,
"Part Time" Tanvir Raquib
Sympathize with me...or DIE!
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