/1 July 2000
WCW Worldwide by Tanvir Raquib
So I'm skimmin' through my partner, E.C.'s worldwide recap for this week and at the end I see this: Tanvir's at the controls next time, so I'll see you in two weeks (Hey E.C., Tanvir didn't write last week. Are you SURE? - CRZ)
I guess that means CRZ' either pissed at me or is just being a little prickly. Or maybe I've been way too lazy. Here's your worldwide recap from 2 WEEKS AGO that I decidedly halfassed on PPV except for the Jung Dragons match because I like them...
wCw worldwide - because I can...
I apparently started taping this right when the Perfect Event were doing a promo spot with Dave Penzer for this week's main event match with the Overpushed Beyond Belief team of Sean O'Haire and Mark Jindrak. Stasiak acts all arrogant and cocky. Palumbo gives us much of the same, while also mentioning his time in Japan. Penzer sends it back to Tenay and Schiavone...
...Mike Tenay and Tony Schiavone are at the arena. They push O' Haire and Jindrak some more. They send us to...
...Scott Hudson and Larry Zybysko. Hudson shills last week's PPV. Zybysko speaks very slowly and pronounces ev-er-y-sin-gle-word.
Nash Wants Some! Cat Gives In! Contract On the Line! Shitty Powerbomb Doesn't Shock Me! Nash Is An Athlete! We Have A Winner! Hall Is Back! Autographs = SCAM! Goldberg Eats Paper! Yum!
Goldberg Hates Chico! Goldberg Hates Nash! Ryder Hates Goldberg! FEEL The Animosity! GRRRRR! Roid Rage Gets His Ass Beaten! Nash Saves Us From MORE Violence! Nash Cut His Lip - NURSE THAT INJURY, TROOPER! Midajah Has Collagen! Goldberg Rips Off HHH! Yeah!
Hudson shills the feud some more. Zybysko hates Hall and doesn't think Nash has any chance against Goldberg. Amen.
Commercials - Overweight goth girl is running for Vampiro tee shirts! Run, you fat bitch!
More shilling of that PPV. Blah blah blah...
Ask wCw to Tank Abbott - "How do you compare working in front of a wCw crowd to a UFC crowd?" asked Ravi Ramabaran, who is *definitely* from either (a) Indian descent or (b) West Indian descent and either (c) was really bored and decided that looking at free porn on the Net wasn't curing anything or (d) actually wanted to be one of the 5 people to get his name on worldwide. MIX AND MATCH - IT'S FUN!
By the way, Abbott says that the wCw crowd expects more entertainment as opposed to the UFC crowd. He's got to work harder for us sports entertainment types.
Commercials - Bah! I should be robbing some capitalist right now! FUCK!
And finally, we get...some matches.
JAMES STORM, TERRY KNIGHT & SHANE EDEN vs. YUNG DRAGONS
This should be fun. Yang in the ring against Shane Eden, who's wearing some UGLY pants. I'd never be caught wearing something that bad - well, at least now I wouldn't. Lockup - Eden pushes off and celebrates. Yang responds with some punches. Yang whips Eden, who then reverses Yang into the ropes. Yang ducks a clothesline and hits a spinning heel kick. Yang whips Eden into the ropes. Eden bounces off and lands on his feet after a back body drop attempt by Yang. Eden with a knee to Yang's gut and nails a DDT. Eden with the Jericho One Foot cover for a suprising 2.1. Eden boucnes off the ropes, does his best Roaddogg impersonation, but misses a legdrop. Yang tags in Kaz. Yang with a cross corner whip on Eden. Kaz now whips Yang, who nails that FANTASMICK Walking Dropkick. Kaz follows up very quickly by bouncing off the second rope and nailing Eden with a kick to the back of the head. Kaz covers for 2 only because of the interfering Storm, who's wearing the most bushleague tights in ALL of wrasslin'. Kaz is so pissed at this turn of events that he nails Storm from behind. Eden, sensing the opportunity, clotheslines Kaz once he turns around. Eden tags in Knight, who misses a clothesline on the tagged in Jamiesan. Jamiesan with some forearms. He also slams Knight's head on to the turnbuckle. Jamiesan with some kicks and crosscorner whips Knight. Knight bodydrops Jamiesan, who lands his feet on the outer canvas. Jamiesan with a flying bodypress for only 1. Jamiesan misses a clothesline, so Knight nails his SLOP DROP~! I think Dennis and Terry are related. One ode to a relative, possibly? Walter Matthau is dead. He played Mr. Wilson in Dennis the Menace. Knight lifts up Jamiesan, bounces him off the top rope and nails a back breaker of sorts. Jamiesan screams in pain because he likes to sell. Storm tags in. Storm with some punches and whips Jamiesan into the ropes. Storm puts the TILT-A-WHIRL into the backbreaker! Storm with a snapmare and bounces off the ropes only to hit the Konnan Dropkick to the Face. I miss mah homeyz, yo. Storm punches Yang, who stood idly by at ringside. That's just cold, yo! Werd! Eden gets tagged in. After some bouncing off the ropes by Jamiesan, Jamiesan finally hits a double dropkick (one foot for each man) on the unknowns. Jamiesan crawls over...and tags Yang! Yang goes up top...DOUBLE DROPKICK BECAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT on Eden and Storm. Knight tags in. Yang does his best Bruce Lee impersonation and hits some late 70's kung fu punches on Knight. Eden nails a DDT on Yang. Kaz says "Fuck this!" and hits a springboard dropkick on Eden. Storm nails a "superkick" with less emphasis on "super" on Kaz. Jamiesan with some forearms and chops on Storm. Knight with a clothesline on Jamiesan. Everybody on one team whips everybody from the other team into the ropes. Let's just say by 'coincidence' that all of the Dragons SUDDENLY nail their moves. Jamiesan and Kaz with dropkicks. Yang with the "Frankensteiner" because Scott said so. Kaz and Jamiesan nail the Simultaneous Asai. Eden, inside the ring, with punches on Yang. Eden gets his crosscorner whip reversed, but he tries a flying headscissors, which Yang realizes - he uses this situation to hit a piledriver in the Kryptonite Krunch position. Tidalwave by Kaz and Jamiesan for the pin and win. (4:13 biotch)
Commercials suck. Go to hell!
"ANGRY" ALLAN FUNK (w/ "Above Average" Mike Sanders) vs. CROWBAR (w/ Daffney)
THE MATCH IS EVEN BETTER WHEN YOU FAST FORWARD IT! Crowbar wins with a front suplex. (6:09)
SEAN O'HAIRE and MARK JINDRAK vs. PERFECT EVENT (wCw Tag Team Champions at the time of this taping...)
Double flapjack leads to the champions keeping their titles. (4:54)
Hey, I PBPed one match for you guys. Time is of the essence so no need for me to work on this even more if it's going to take EVEN MORE time, right?
"Part Time" Tanvir Raquib
Sympathize with me...or DIE!
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