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/wrestling /worldwide /21 October 2000 |
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/wrestling /worldwide /21 October 2000 |
WCW Worldwide by E.C. Ostermeyer |
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This the WCW Worldwide recap for Saturday, 21 October 2000. I am your recapper, E.C. Ostermeyer. Please keep your hands and arms inside the car, no flash photography, and you WILL get wet on this ride! Guaranteed. Opening Credits. Terry Taylor gets a "screen flicker" seizure from playing a bootleg copy of "Shenmue" on his Sega Dreamcast. Wow! Look at that! Real mouth foam! We are at the WCW Worldwide Command Central studios under Lenox Square Mall in Atlanta, GA, live on tape from two light-weeks ago. The in-ring action this week is (still) from California, pre-dating the Australia tour, so that makes it, what? FOUR light-weeks ago? Your hosts are Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and Scott "More-powder-Equals-Less-Shine" Hudson. Must be casual day on the set. For Mr. Heenan, at least, who's comfortably attired in a t-shirt and sweater vest. He's also got what appears to be the latest copy of WCW Magazine. Hudson is definitely not casual this week. If anything he's even MORE formal, and appears to be wearing a Harvard tie. Scott: "I'm wearing my Harvard tie..." EC: "Scott, you mean to tell me you were at HARVARD?" Scott: "Yeah." EC: "What were you doing there?" Scott: "Buyin' a tie." Ba-dumdum! Heenan makes the "okay" sign. We all hope you're feelin' better too, Ms. Heenan. Hudson is still busily promo-ing the "Halloween Havoc" PPV, with Goldberg's "Handicap match" with Kronik getting special attention. Heenan's idly thumbing through the magazine while Hudson's shilling. "Your thoughts, Brain, on Goldberg, and the long climb ahead of him." "Well, I've been looking through the November edition of WCW Magazine, with Major Bunns, er, "Gunns" on the cover. The big story here is six pages on Goldberg. I think he's gonna do it, he's gonna pass 177. It's going to be harder now, because Russo's involved. Russo doesn't want him to make it, but Goldberg wants it more than ever. I predict he will go over 200." "Over 200?" "OVER TWO HUNDRED! Are you deef?" hollers Heenan. "Eesh! No! Not now," says Hudson, cringing from the blast. "Let's send it to ring side and Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, and Stevie Ray." "I'm never wrong," says Heenan, who then giggles at something he's reading. "Never?" "NEVER!" Tenay, Schiavone, and Stevie Ray give us the run-down for tonight's card, including a wild match between Kwee-Wee and Christopher Daniels. Looks like the crowd behind the announcers' table is getting pretty raucous. Some buzz-cutted fan's wearing an N.W.O. Black & White shirt, and is POINTING IT OUT TO MR. CAMERAMAN! Now THAT'S one die-hard WCW fan! Tenay says that Kwee-Wee's been in some impressive matches, of late. Schiavone waxes poetic about the lovely Paisley, who is apparently now Kwee-Wee's constant companion. Stevie Ray snorts, and shakes his head, calling Paisley the "Yak of the Week." Back to the studio, and we start off with "Nitro Down Under," with Scott Steiner ratcheting the intensity up in his feud with World Champion Booker T. Heenan: " Doesn't Booker T have a manager, or advisor, or an attorney to tell him what to do? Hey, Booker! You're the Champ! Take your time! Defend the Title every 30 days, instead of every time you get in the ring. And don't go saving somebody. Maybe you'll get hurt. Or maybe you'll fall in somebody's trap. So, you keep it up. Scott Steiner may not be the World's Champion now. But he's going to be, and real soon, Booker." Footage from the Brisbane Nitro shows Booker T & The Cat taking on Kevin Nash and "Above Average" Mike Sanders. Nash is working the match like an elderly horse, very deliberate moves, slowing the match tempo way down. Oh, yeah, he will be a REAL star in WCW's crown if/when Bischoff and Mandalay Sports get control. Sheesh! Cut to Booker nailing Sanders with an axe kick, and Mark Madden squealing "Spin-eroonie!" like a little girl. Tag to The Cat, who nails Sanders with a "Fe-liner" kick to the face, getting the pin. Post-match, while The Cat is occupied at ringside baiting new WCW employee and REAL, genuine badass, Sam Greco, Scott Steiner and Nash do a number on Booker T in the ring. Later, during the Steiner/Sting match, special referee Jeff Jarrett gets involved in the action a little TOO much, and Sting promptly waffles him for his presumption. Steiner, grabbing the lead pipe from the incredibly pneumatic Midajah, clocks Sting a good one with it. Jarrett & Steiner work Sting over a little, before Booker T appears to remedy the situation by "removing Mr. Jarrett's influence" on the match. Hey, look, Booker's got a referee shirt. Superkick from Booker, reverse DDT from Sting, and Steiner's done for the evening. Back to the studio, where Hudson says that this can't have improved Scott Steiner's feelings towards Booker T. Heenan: "He's always in a bad mood to begin with. What kind of mood you think he's goin to be in now? Look, there are certain things in life you don't do. Don't tug on Superman's cape. (ticking them off on his fingers). Don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger, and don't mess with Scott Steiner. Oh, and don't cook bacon nude!" Hudson:" I gotta write these down. You got a pen?" Hudson then draws a comparison with a recent Booker T article in "Stuff" magazine, and the "stuff" that Big Poppa Pump's going to drop on him at Halloween Havoc. Commercials. We return, and Goldberg's climb back to the top is discussed. Vince Russo has decreed that, in order for Goldberg to get a shot at the World Heavyweight Title, he has to beat his previous winning streak of 176-0. Heenan: "As I've said earlier, I think he's going to go over 200 wins. But there's a lot to be taken into consideration. Goldberg's done two weeks' of tours and flown over 30,000 miles. Now he's gonna have to continue the winning streak. He loses ANY match, just ONE match, and his career is over. It just doesn't go in the loss column. His career is over!" Footage is brought to you by (holy cow!) Wolverine Boots & Shoes. Hey, Worldwide got a sponsor for the footage! Looks like somebody else besides me is watching this show! "I've got Wolverine boots on," says Heenan. "Wanna see 'em?" Heenan lifts his left foot up a little too fast and barks his shin hard on the edge of the desktop. "Owwwww!" "That's gonna leave a mark," says Hudson. Heenan, wincing in pain, gives Hudson a dirty look. Footage of Goldberg squashing Big Vito (4-0), and a still-walking- around Johnny the Bull (5-0). One thing I've noticed, Goldberg's a little tentative about using new moves. For instance, his attempt at a pump-handle slam was not hooked properly, causing Johnny the Bull to land awkwardly halfway across the ring. (Ooohhhh!" hollers Schiavone. "WHAT WAS THAT?" squeals Mark Madden. "I dunno, a "Goldberg-plex" or sumthin'," says Stevie Ray.) This may have contributed to Johnny the Bull's injury later in the tour. (Hey, Bill, a little in-ring practice wouldn't hurt now and again. Helps with the timing, you know. So your opponents don't needlessly end up in the emergency room, okay?) Out comes Kronik for the post-match glare-fest with Goldberg. Next, "WCW Dark Side" Commissioner Mike Sanders hand-picks Chuck Palumbo to end Goldberg's streak. Palumbo: "Are you NUTS??!! Put Johnny the Bull in there!" Johnny the Bull (sitting behind Palumbo): "Hey, NO WAY, Man!" Sanders: "Nope, you're the healthy one. He's all yours. Besides Johnny there's got another assignment tonight." Johnny the Bull looks visibly relieved. Palumbo looks visibly disturbed. To the ring, where Palumbo and Sean Stasiak do the "Perfect Event" thing. Palumbo tries a Giant Splash off the top turnbuckle, which Goldberg no-sells big time. Stasiak interferes, and gets speared. Jackhammer for Palumbo, three-count, (6-0). Goldberg then goes after Stasiak, (Jackhammer, 7-0) and in the process tramples on Palumbo's forearm, and steps on his thumb REAL hard. Stevie Ray spots it immediately: "I think he broke his thumb, there, Tenay." (Uh, Bill, in-ring practice also helps your ring savvy as well. That way, you aren't mashing your opponents' body parts accidentally.) Back to the studio, where Scott Hudson is wondering how long Goldberg's streak can continue? Heenan: "You never know with a man like Goldberg. You never know the determination that's inside of him. The man was a pro-football player, he was World Champion, had everything going for him. Now, it looks like he's trying to take his opponents three or four at a time. That may be a mistake. Take them one at a time. Take your time with this. Because all you need is one loss, and it's over, Goldberg, it's over. Don't. Get. Greedy. Remember, a pig gets fat, and a hog gets slaughtered!" Hudson: "What does THAT have to... well, we can talk about that..." Heenan: "It's up on Schiavone's wall..." ( Oooooo! Good one, Brain!) Hudson's still trying to make sense out of what Brain just said. "Next weekend, Goldberg and Kronik, and what a battle that's going to be..." Heenan, thumbing through the "WCW Magazine," finds the centerfold of Shane "Franchise" Douglas. More importantly, Torrie Wilson is in the picture. Heenan: "Ho-hooo!" He spins around in his chair and hunches over, his back to the camera. We hear a low wolf whistle. "Where'd you go? What's that?" asks Hudson. "Nothing, none of your business," says Heenan, who quickly folds the centerfold up and stuffs it inside his vest. He then turns back to the desk and folds his hands like nothing's been going on. Hudson gives him "The Look." Commercials. "It's no secret, WCW has some of the hottest ladies in the world," says Hudson. Heenan gives the "hourglass" move with his hands, and punctuates it with another wolf whistle. Hudson, (eyeing Heenan with distaste): "Sunday, November 5th 8PM, on the "E" Network, the women of WCW get profiled. Chae, Torrie, Ms. Hancock, Stacey Keebler, they'll all be there..." Heenan is grinning broadly at the prospect. "...And speaking of Torrie Wilson," says Hudson, "What happened to the poster of Torrie Wilson you had?" "I got it right here in my pocket," says Heenan, who pulls it out and begins unfolding it. The poster's REALLY wrinkled. Some of the pages appear to be stuck together. "Oh boy..." sighs Hudson, who's now thinking that having Heenan pull out the poster wasn't such a good idea. "You know why it's wrinkled, Scott? I'm taking it to a senior citizens center later on. So they can relate to it..." Heenan, in smoothing it out, accidentally rips off a big corner of the poster. "Uh-oh, " says Heenan, looking at the torn piece in his hand. "Ahhh, it's just her ear." He crumples the scrap up and throws it on the floor. He then begins noisily folding the poster back up. Speaking of Torrie Wilson... Footage from Nitro shows the great match between "Prime-Time" Elix Skipper and Rey Mysterio, Jr. Filthy Animals member Tygress is at the WCW Announcers' table, calling the match, to the obvious delight of Schiavone and Madden, and the even more obvious disgust of Stevie Ray. Over the steel guardrail comes a be-bodystockinged Torrie Wilson to bounce Tygress' head off the floor mats at ringside. In ring action has some great spots, and some really good aerial moves by Skipper and Rey-Rey. But they're all secondary to the catfight in progress outside the ring. Skipper wins, by the way. This cat-fight sets up an "Underwear match" later in the show, between Tygress and Torrie Wilson. Torrie kicks Tygress in the gut, then pulls off her sweats top. "Less kicking, more stripping!" squeals Madden. Tygress, down to her bra and sweat shorts, sentons Torrie to the mat. "STUFF-BUSTER! STUFF-BUSTER!" squeals Madden. "Stuff-buster?!" says Stevie Ray. Tygress rips off Torrie's shorts, revealing a red pair of bikini briefs. Torrie crawls to the opposite corner. Which sets up "FACE FULL OF STUFF! FACE FULL OF STUFF! GOOD GOD AWMIGHTY! FACE FULL OF STUFF!" squeals Madden. Sounds of muffled hilarity from Schiavone and Stevie Ray. Madden's nearly does himself an injury, he's hollering so much. Tygress counters a Torrie paintbrushing by diving bboth hands down Torrie's shirtfront and ripping Torrie's shirt off from the inside out, winning the match. "LET"S GET A CLOSE-UP OF THE LOSER!" Madden hollers. Madden's about to expel his spleen to his mouth. Dead silence from Schiavone and Stevie Ray. Torrie does look OUTSTANDING, though! Whoops, here's the "Franchise" to en-cloak poor Ms. Wilson. He then grabs Tygress by the side of the neck. This brings out Konnan to nail Douglas with a rolling clothesline. Later on Nitro, Konnan gets a shot at the US Title against Lance Storm, only to have the match broken up a Shane Douglas' chain-wrapped fist to the face. Storm with a (according to Tony Schiavone) "Dragon Screw Leg-drop," (??) rolls into the Maple Leaf submission on konnan, and gets the win. Back to the studio, where Heenan correctly identifies the US Title as being the Canadian Title. "Are you an American?" asks an exasperated Scott Hudson. "Of course I'm an American," replies Heenan, slightly miffed by the question. I pay my taxes and I buy Girl Scout...uhhh... Girl Scout cookies!" Goes back to reading the magazine. "Ohhhh boy, we are NOT going there tonight, fans. We've got a mixed tag match between Torrie Wilson & Shane "the Franchise" Douglas, and Tygress & Konnan on the other." "Shut up!" snaps Heenan. "Have you got your green card, Brain?" "Si." Commercials. It's "Ask WCW" time again. Scott's got the studio laptop in hand. Heenan's peering over his shoulder, and moving closer to get a better view. Hudson, eyeing Heenan, and remembering the unfortunate things that happened to the laptop the last time Heenan got his hands on it, scoots the laptop down the table a bit further. "This week's question comes from Marshall Salt of Savannah, GA..." Heenan's crab-crawling nearer, and Hudson again counters with another shove along the desktop. Heenan's leaning way-y-y into the shot by now. "...who asks Sting what was his favorite World Heavyweight Championship match?" Suddenly, Heenan over-balances, as his chair topples him face-first onto the desk, then dropping him to the floor. We get a muffled "Owwwww!" from behind the desk, as Hudson rushes to Heenan's aid. Over to Sting, who says that, actually, he has two: 1990's "Great American Bash" v. Ric Flair, after he'd just recovered from knee surgery, and 1997 Starrcade v. Hulk Hogan. Back to the studio, as we see Heenan climbing slowly back into his chair. "Are you all right?" asks Hudson. "Yeah. They put WHEELS on these things!" "What were they thinking..." retorts Hudson, who then runs the fight card for the upcoming "Halloween Havoc" PPV: "Will the streak continue, Brain?" Heenan: "You know, I don't know of any TAG-TEAM in WCW that wants to get in the ring with Kronik. They're combined weight is over 500 lbs. Goldberg want them both? I don't know what he was thinking, but if he gets by Kronik, he's going all the way. And Sting, don't concern yourself with the past. You've got your future to worry about, in a big match with Jeff Jarrett." Heenan: It's interesting to see Duggan with the haircut and the beard shaved off going "Hooooo!" for the Canadians. Team him with Lance Storm, and I predict that General Rection'll be doing a lot of latrine." "What does THAT mean? You think he's gonna lose?" "I'll tell you when we're off the air, Scott." Hudson, grimacing sends us over to the ring for tonight's matches, as Heenan explains, "It's round and it's porcelain..." "I KNOW what a latrine is, Brain. What's 'doing latrine?'" Heenan appears lost in thought... Match #1: Robbie Rage d. Jason Styles, ("Sinanomaki" submission , 2:35) Match opens with Stevie Ray and Mike Tenay getting in an argument about whether or not Stevie Ray could be an "impartial announcer" at Halloween Havoc, especially during the match between his brother, Booker T, and Scott Steiner. "Don't jeopardize your career! Says Tenay. While all this blather is going on, Robbie Rage is dominating Styles big-time in their match. Suddenly aware that there's some action in the ring, Stevie Ray talks Rage up, saying that, having sparred with him, Robbie Rage is one of the few wrestlers that can stay in the ring with Stevie Ray. Tenay also says that Rage has toured the martial arts schools in the Orient, learning submission style wrestling, as well as improving his agility, which is remarkable for heavyweight. I smell a push here, don't you? Styles attempts a standing double dropkick, but Rage pushes him off. Toe-hold followed by a elbow across the thigh from Rage. A rollover, and Rage maintains the toe-hold, and slaps on a chin-lock, but Styles breaks free by crawling to the ropes. A couple of kicks and chops later, and Rage tries a cross-ring whip. Styles ducks the follow-up clothesline, then nails Rage with a leaping double mule-kick to the chest. Styles goes up top, and lands a leaping cross-boy block that sends Rage to the canvas, 1,2, no! Cross-ring whip by Styles gets reversed. Styles' running clothesline gets ducked, then Rage leapfrogs him, and then nails a belly-to-belly suplex. After some trash-talking, Rage lands two chops ("Whooo!") to Styles' neck, flattening him. Rage picks up Styles as though to piledrive him, but runs him back-first into the turnbuckle stack. Rage then goes out to the ring apron, and lands a vaulting guillotine legdrop across Styles' neck. Another set-up, this time for what appears to be a powerbomb, but Rage instead drops the back of Styles' neck across his knee, and Styles collapses on the mat. Rage capitalizes by hooking Styles into a modified chicken-wing cross-face submission that Stevie Ray calls a "Sinamonaki" and Tenay corrects as "Sinanomaki." Either way, it looks painful as all get out, and Styles quickly taps out to end the match. Commercials. Match #2: Kwee-Wee (w/ Paisley) d. Christopher Daniels, (tilt-a-whirl face-plant , 3:34) As Daniels makes his entrance, Mike Tenay says the Christopher Daniels has been a real hit on the independent circuit. Kwee-Wee heads for the ring, accompanied by the fiercely erotic Ms. Paisley, who, like the movie title, looks "Pretty in Pink." As Kwee-Wee and Paisley do their in-ring schtick for the (very appreciative!) fans at ringside, Daniels decides he's had enough of this foolishness, and waffles Kwee-Wee from behind to get the match underway. Daniels is stomping a mud-hole in Kwee-Wee, who's collapsed in the far corner. Cross-ring action, as Daniels and Kwee-Wee take turns ducking clotheslines and leapfrogging shoulder-blocks. Go-behind attempt by Kwee-Wee gets broken up with a Daniels' elbow shot to the face. Daniels springboards off the far ropes for a cross-body attempt, but Kwee-Wee counters with a catch and converts to a snap sit-out powerbomb, and a cover, 1,2, not this time. Kwee-Wee with a kick to the chest and a fist to the face of Christopher Daniels. Cross-ring whip by Kwee-Wee, who sets for the back body drop. But Daniels does a rolling back-flip over Kwee-Wee, and then flap-jacks him to the mat with a hair-pull. Daniels shows off for the crowd, allowing Kwee-Wee to recover, and set up his next move... ... A (believe it or not!) by-God 'Thesz Press', that splatters Daniels all over the mat. Kwee-Wee's in "anger" mode, now, as he rains down punchs in bunches on Daniels' head and face. The referee has to pull Kwee-Wee off, but Kwee-Wee slips free, and goes back to thrashing Daniels within an inch of his life. Daniels can only cover up and try to avoid the harder ones, before the referee can pull the two of them apart. Body slam by Kwee-Wee, who then sets for a running clothesline. Daniels sees him coming, and ducks, dragging the top rope down, and causing Kwee-Wee to go sailing over, and onto the ringside floor. Daniels rares back, gets a running start, leaps to the top rope... ... and then nearly messes up big time when his pescado off the top rope comes up short of needed rotation, and Daniels takes a header onto the concrete floor. Daniels lays there for a bit, as Kwee-Wee simultaneously sells the move, and checks to see if Daniels is really hurt. Daniels, understandably groggy, staggers to his feet. Shaking the stars out of his head, he rolls Kwee-Wee back into the ring, then has a couple of choice words for Paisley, who wisely backs off. Stevie Ray: "He told that yak to get back!" Daniels tries for another cross-ring whip, but Kwee-Wee does a go-behind, then snaps off a short belly-to-back suplex. Both men are groggy as they get to their feet, and begin trading blows in the middle of the ring. Cross-ring whip by Kwee-Wee, followed by a standing double dropkick that levels Daniels. Scoopslam by Kwee-Wee, who then nails Daniels with a running knee-lift to the face. Cover, hook the near leg, 1,2, Daniels gets a shoulder up. Cross-ring whip, but Daniels counters by trying a go-behind of his own, only to lose his grip and blow the move in mid-stride. Recovering the set, Daniels leaps up and cold-cocks Kwee-Wee right on the ear. Daniels with a double underhook on Kwee-Wee, and then follows it with a freakin' SPINNING Pedigree face-planter that looks better than something Triple-H could have done! Nonchalant cover by Daniels, 1,2, Kwee-Wee kicks out. Daniels argues the speed of the count with the referee, then goes over and pounds on Kwee-Wee some more. Cross-ring whip by Daniels, but Kwee-Wee shortstops the scoopslam attempt by shoving Daniels into the ropes. Daniels rebounds into a float-over, that gets followed by a belly-to-back suplex attempt. Kwee-Wee gets a leg up to block, whips Daniels into the ropes, and then nails him with a tilt-a-whirl facebuster. Cover by Kwee-Wee, 1,2,3! Wolverine Boots Instant Replay shows Daniels' scary pescado, and then the finish of the match. Commercials. Back to the studio, where the Sting/Jeff Jarrett match at Halloween Havoc is discussed. Heenan: "If Jarrett says that Sting's lost his heart, then Sting's lost the match. No matter how long you've been in this sport, no matter how big you are, you've got to have heart. If you don't have even a pinch of that, it's over." The Booker T/Scott Steiner match is next. Heenan:"Scott Steiner has never held the World Championship Title, and he can smell it, he can taste it. Booker T has proven that he has heart, lots of heart. But he's all busted up inside. Scott Steiner has no heart, especially no heart for you, Booker T! I predict that Scott Steiner will be the NEW WCW World Heavyweight Champion." Hudson: "Bobby the Brain coming down on the side of Scott Steiner winning the WCW World Heavyweight Championship at Halloween Havoc", next Sunday, October 29th, only on pay-per-view..." Heenan: "I am NEVER wrong!" Hudson's incredulous. "What?!" Heenan: "Close the show out, Scott." Hudson does so, and as the Closing credits roll, Hudson is heard asking 'What do you mean you're 'never wrong'?!" Heenan: "Just that. I am never wrong!" "Never?" "Wel-l-l-l-l, there WAS one time back in '63, around Thanksgiving." "Thanksgiving?" "Yeah. "Want to score points with your boss?" I said. "Invite him down for Thanksgiving dinner." "It can't miss, Lyndon." See you next week. E.C. Ostermeyer [slash] wrestling Email the Author |
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