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/wrestling /worldwide /11 November 2000 |
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/wrestling /worldwide /11 November 2000 |
WCW Worldwide by E.C. Ostermeyer |
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This is the WCW Worldwide report for Saturday, 11 November 2000, and I'm your recapper, ol' E. C. Opening credits. Terry Taylor gets motion sickness from too much "Mickey's Raceway" on his N64. Your hosts are Bobby "The Brain" Heenan and (Thank GOD!) Scott "Why's-my-chair-smell-like-Tony?" Hudson. Scott is trumpeting the results of Halloween Havoc (remember, the show is taped two weeks back), and also giving the run-down of what's in store for tonight's show, "... including, Brain, your business partner, Mike Tenay!" "Business partner?" Heenan is miffed. "Tenay's not my business partner!" "I saw what happened last week on this show, the exchange of the 'dead presidents'..." "No, no, nooo," says Heenan with a roll of the eyes. "You misconstrued something you saw, obviously. No money exchanged hands, went from place to place, from pocket to wallet." Hudson's got his "Likely as hell" face on. "What happened was," continues Heenan, (who now realizes that he'd better make THIS whopper a good one,) "that the Tenays were over at my home earlier that week, because it was the holiday season, Halloween, y'see. And we were having some cider with a friend of ours, Bill, and we were just sitting around. And we were playin' Monopoly. Tenay's wife has sticky fingers, so we don't use real money..." "No other Stones' album, just "Sticky Fingers", eh?" says Hudson slyly, hoping to throw Heenan off his spiel. "No, just Monopoly money," says Heenan, who's way ahead of Hudson, "and I happened to pick up a couple of hundred dollar bills by mistake when I bought the B&O. I was just giving that back. That was Monopoly money you saw..." "(!)This cat's wife has BO?!" Hudson senses a possible swerve in the conversation. "No, no, Tenay's wife's got sticky fingers," says Heenan. "Maybe she should be "Exiled On Main Street," says Hudson, pleased at his own bon mot. Heenan dons his patented "huh?' look, shrugs, and shakes his head. Hudson sets up the highlights of Halloween Havoc... But we don't get footage, no, no. We get a SLIDE SHOW! C'mon WCW, it was, what, THREE WEEKS ago? I can absolutely guarantee you that NOBODY will buy the video if y'all are dumb enough to release it to video, that is. Fah! "Scott Steiner's temper got the best of him at Halloween Havoc, Brain, and Booker T's still the Champ." "Well, Scott, Big Poppa Pump's the kind of athlete that has to be handled with kid gloves. He's a special kind of person. You just can't tell him what to do. You have to give him a little leeway. He's that kind of an athlete. And Booker T, I think that the best thing for you to do is to..." Heenan is lost in thought for a moment. "Scott, every city has these places called "Mailboxes" or something like that? You can ship stuff?" "Yes, that's right," says Hudson, a bit warily. "Thanks." Heenan looks at the camera. "Booker T, you need to take the WCW World Heavyweight Championship Title belt, clean it and shine it up..." (Author's note: No, folks, I am NOT going THERE!) "...put it in a box, pack it up, take it to one of these Mailboxes places, and ship it to Mr. Steiner. It will save you from another severe beating." Hudson gives Heenan The Look. "Let ME give you some advice, Booker, just show up at Mayhem..." at which point Hudson then shills for the upcoming "WCW Mayhem" PPV on November 26th. Hudson's using his best hand gestures for emphasis. Heenan sees this and starts mimicking the hand gestures as Hudson does them. And you all know how aggravating that can be, don't you? Hudson sees what Heena's doing, and slips his hands under the desktop. Commercials. Back to the studio, and the topic is Ric Flair becoming the new Chief Executive Officer of WCW. "Who could you have as a better boss than Ric Flair?" crows Heenan. "No one," agrees Hudson. "Who knows how to party more than Ric Flair? Who knows how to have a better time than Ric Flair?" Heenan's hands stab at the air for emphasis. "Who knows this business more than Ric Flair? Who's been World Champion more than Ric Flair...?" Heenan grabs for the phone. "What are you doing now?" asks Hudson, in a voice that says he already knows the question is a stupid one. "I'm gonna call Ric Flair at home right now and ask him what his new duties are as CEO of WCW is." "CEO 'is'? I think it's just "CEO", Brain. Be fair to Flair." "There's no 'is'?" (on the phone) "Uh, would you give me Ric Flair's home, please? Uh huh, yes, he's the CEO. And when you do..." "Who IS that?" demands Hudson. Heenan (still on the phone): "...put it through here to the studio. This is Bobby Heenan. Yes, I'm in the studio...l..." (pauses, then replies, somewhat miffed): "... look, just have him call me back in the studio, okay?" Footage from the Irvine, CA Nitro shows Mike Sanders getting his marching orders from new CEO Ric Flair. Though Sanders is pretty good with a microphone, Flair is the virtuoso. " You been runnin' wild, kid, breaking' every rule in the book. And I gotta tell ya that, Commissioner or no, you now got a man named Ric Flair tellin' you what to do, every step of the way." Huge cheers from the crowd. Sanders does NOT look happy. Hudson: "Boy, Ric Flair as the new CEO of..." Studio PA system: "Bobby Heenan, Ric Flair's on Line One." Heenan's got a broad grin on his face as he picks up the phone. Hudson, stunned, looks up at the ceiling, where the voice came from. "Wow!" Hudson is impressed. "Is that really Ric Flair, Brain? And who was THAT?" (points towards the ceiling.) "He's a guy who works for me. He has all my calls sent through." Heenan punches Line One... ...flinches ... ...and immediately sticks a finger in his right ear. "HEY-Y-Y!" says Heenan, obviously hollering over the noise on the other end. "IS RIC THERE? LOOK TURN THE MUSIC DOWN A BIT, WOULD YOU? YOUR NAME IS DARBY? NO, NO I WANT TO TALK TO RIC FLAIR! SHOULD BE A BLOND GUY WEARING A ROBE AN A SMILE..." Hudson's got a pained look on his face, aware that Heenan's up to his old tricks again. "Hello? Who? Baby Dumpling? No no, I don't want to speak to Baby Dumpling..." "WHAT did you call her?!" demands Hudson, incredulous. "Look I want to speak to Ric Fair and I..." "Hold on..." (to Hudson) "What? It's some lady named Baby Dumpling." "Baby Dumpling?" "Here," says Heenan, handing Hudson the phone, "You talk to her." Hudson, taking the phone: "Hello?" "Can you hear anything?" says Heenan. "Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan," says Hudson to 'Baby Dumpling'. "Wait a minute... how, HOW much money do you want..." "GIVE ME THAT!" growls Heenan, snatching the phone away from Scott. Hudson gives Heenan The Look once more, and says that it's time for "Ask WCW." "No I don't know "Name That Tune!" says Heenan, still on the phone with 'Baby Dumpling', "look this is long distance! It's costing me money." "Can we kill his mike?" asks Hudson of the stage director. "Look, I want to speak to Ric Flair!!" Heenan's having to raise his voice again. "HE'S TOTALLY WHAT?" "A FEATHER BOA?" Our question this week, from Brian Sites of Winchester, VA is for Ric Flair. Mr. Sites wants to know if there will ever be another reincarnation of the 4 Horsemen, or is it a legacy you see David Flair inheriting? Man, talk about topical! Boom, here's Ric Flair to say that, truthfully, he doesn't expect there to be a reincarnation of the 4 Horsemen. The athletes who made up the Horsemen were an elite bunch who brought a whole new level of talent to professional wrestling. It was very unique, and very unusual. As for David, Ric says that David has his own career to develop, and that he will develop his own talent, and go his own way. For those of you who read my Mind Squeezins column, the keyword here is "expect." "Great answers from a great man," says Scott looking across at Bobby Heenan, hollering into the phone, "who's apparently still at a Veteran's Day party, right Brain?" "I don't know," says Heenan testily," I've talked with everybody else who's at the party EXCEPT him! (to the phone): "HELLO?" "Is my wife there?" asks Hudson with a grin on his face. "I don't know, what's her name?" "Uhhh, gee, I can't remember!" says Hudson, grinning even bigger. Heenan, oblivious, is still trying to get through. "Is Scott Hudson's wife there? She's got a beard and bald." Hudson's not grinning anymore. "When we come back, an exclusive WCW Worldwide interview." Hudson eyes Heenan, then continues. "Chuck Damiani of WCWdotcom will interview "Mr. 1-derful," Paul Orndorf, and..." "No! NO! Ha haaaa!" (to Hudson): "Dusty's doin' the limbo! Imagine that. Just picture that!" "They'll have to reinforce the floor," says Hudson. Commercials. We come back. Heenan's still on the phone, though now he's got his back turned to the cameras. "No, no , I want to speak to Ric Flair. Yes, I do like talking with you my dear, but it's Mr. Flair who I need to speak to. Look could you turn the music down please?" Hudson introduces the Orndorf interview, mentioning in passing that "Mr. 1-derful" was a member of Bobby the Brain's stable, and pointedly looks over at Heenan... "Look honey, don't SHOUT at me, okay?" says Heenan into the phone. Hudson rolls his eyes in disgust. "A great comeback from Bobby 'the Brain' Heenan!" As we go to the interview, Heenan says "Hi, Cher!" "CHER?!" gasps Hudson. Chad Damiani of WCWdotcom does part One of the sit-down with Mr. Orndorf, who is still wearing a neckbrace from the injuries he suffered at the hands of the Natural Born Thrillers at Fall Brawl 2000 We learn that: 1. Orndorf's injury was the result of his mis-timing a piledriver on Mark Jindrak. The move blew out Orndorf's C3 (third cervical) vertebrae, (i.e. the vertebrae that is snapped during a hanging; the "execution drop" as it were. Don't tell ME wrestling is fake!) In addition, Orndorf bruised his spine. 2. The injury precludes Orndorf from ever wrestling again. Even so, he considers himself lucky, in that he could have been in a wheelchair, or worse. 3. The injuries Orndorf has sustained over the years have lost him millions of dollars from missed matches and opportunities. 4. Orndorf does not see today's wrestlers "living their character" like they did in the old days. Orndorf's character, "Mr. 1-derful" was him, 24/7. 5. He's the hard core of hardcore. He played the role, walked the walk, gave it 100% every day. His passion was and always will be professional wrestling. 6. The fans relate to somebody like him who goes out and meets the world head-on, and on his own terms rather than somebody else's. 7. He is actively looking for that one up and coming young wrestler, to make him "Mr. 1-derful, Mark 2." Hudson says that Paul Orndorf is still active at the Power Plant, training the future stars of WCW. Part Two of the interview will be shown next week. Heenan's still on the phone. "Britney, would you please have Mr. Flair come to the phone? Please?" Hudson eyes Heenan with distaste, then comments that, in the next segment, Heenan will be shipped out to the pay phone on the corner while Mike Tenay's sitting in. Commercials. This week's "WCW Classic" is from five years ago. Mike Tenay pilots the WayBack Machine back to 1995, and the Three Way Dance to decide the top contender to face then-Champ Randy Savage for the Heavyweight Title. The contenders are Ric Flair, Lex Luger, and Sting. This match had Flair and Sting renewing their storied rivalry, while long-time friends Sting and Lex Luger faced each other for the first time in a long-awaited showdown. WCW Classic Match of the Week: Ric Flair d. Lex Luger d. Sting, for the 1995 WCW Heavyweight Contender spot, ([Starrcade, 1995, Municipal Auditorium, Nashville, TN], Double COR, we saw about 8:00 or so.) We've got a totally packed, totally raucous house in Nashville, it's literally filled to the rafters with cheering, hollering,18-to-34-year-old male "Demographic". Just standing room only! Your ringside announcers are Tony Schiavone (at the middle of his game0, and Bobby Heenan (at the top of his.) Guest commentator is the American Dream himself, Dusty Rhodes. Flair and Sting trade "Whooo's!" for the fans, who all go collectively nuts. Schiavone, sucking up to Rhodes, mentions the first-ever "Million-Dollar Purse" for a wrestling match in 1985, where Rhodes and Flair squared off. Sting does a gorilla press slam on Flair, then nails him a good one with a running clothesline. Flair sells the move like his back's been shattered. Cover by Sting, 1,2, Flair kicks out. Scorpion Death Lock, but Flair's too close to the ropes... and we fade to later in the match, with Sting chopping the daylights out of Flair. Sting perches Flair on the top turnbuckle. Flair counters with an eye gouging, then tries for a cross-corner whip. Sting blocks the whip, countering with another gorilla press slam. Flair gets the Best Seat In The House on the top turnbuckle, courtesy of Sting, who also goes up top and nails a huge superplex off the top turnbuckle, and I don't think Flair's having to sell THAT move too hard. The WHOLE RING shook! Sting got stung on that move as well, and he does a weak cover 1...2...( Luger hops over the ropes to break up the pin)... Sting breaks off the pin on Flair to go face-to-face with Luger! Sting is glaring bullet holes in Luger, while Luger's apologizing profusely, and referee Nick Patrick is telling Luger to get back outside the ropes. This gives Flair time to recover, and he's slowly getting to his feet... until Sting turns around to check on him, whereupon Flair collapses to the canvas. Sting turns back to face Luger... ...and Flair hammers him one in the back of the head. The force of the blow drives Sting into his own corner, where Luger slap-tags him across the back, then leaps over the ropes after Flair. Much flexing and roaring on the part of "Flexy Lexy." Flair does a great job of quailing and groveling before this "Force of Nature." We fade to later in the match, with Luger on the attack, and good, sweet sassafras he was slow even then! VERY deliberate cross-ring whip, followed by yet another gorilla press slam, and Flair's GOTTA be getting tired of this by now. Luger shoves Flair into the corner, then does a Ten-Count Punch-Down with the crowd calling the shots. They only get to "eight" before Luger stops and backs off. Looks like he's winded from the effort. Ol' "Naitch" sells the Flair Flop big time, even getting a laugh from Dusty Rhodes. Luger stares a lot at Sting, then goes for a cover, 1,2, Flair gets the shoulder up, then eye-gouges Luger and rolls him a=off with a hair-pull. Flair gets to his feet, and jabs a quick thumb to Luger's left eye. Luger sells it like Flair's thumb came out the back of his skull. "Dirtiest player in the game," says Heenan, with no little pride. Flair smiles nastily, then collapses against the near ring-ropes. Back on his feet, Flair rebounds off the far ropes and clips Luger's left knee. Luger's hollering to beat the band. "It won't be long now, " says Heenan. Fade to later in the match. Luger's a beached seal, with Flair stylin' amd profilin', and Sting lookin' concerned. Flair drags Luger to the ring apron, then clobbers the right knee with a chair. Luger grabs the original left knee, the big silly. Flair chops ("Whooo!") Luger, who promptly collapses in a heap in the corner. Flair drapes Luger's left knee across the bottom ring rope then sits thereon. Flair drags Luger to the center of the ring, then gives Luger's injured left leg a twist for good measure. Flair plays up the crowd, getting some boos, but a whole lot of cheers, too. Flair does some profilin', sees Sting, and trash-talks him. Sting lunges into the ring, only to be restrained by referee Nick Patrick. Flair takes advantage of the referee distraction to "play wishbone" with Luger's in-seam. Figure Four leglock. Sting tries to make the save, referee warns him back, Flair gets a 2-count. Flair grabs the ring-ropes for some extra leverage. 2-count again. Luger sits up. Flair slaps his face. Again. And again. "Don't make him mad, Ric," hollers Heenan. Luger hits his power surge, and rolls the Figure 4 over. Now Flair's taking the strain. Flair, hollering, breaks the hold. Fade to later in the match, as Sting flapjacks Luger. Stinger Splash! There's another, but Luger ducks away and Sting hits the turnbuckle, and bounces his head off the top of the ring-post. Ouch! Sting staggers back, and into theTorture Rack. Luger's having a great old time bouncing Sting on his shoulders, trying to make him submit. Luger gets clumsy, and swings Sting's left foot into referee Nick Patrick's face, knocking him out. Luger's also forgotten about Flair, who promptly clips Luger's left knee again. Luger rolls out of the ring. Flair tosses Sting over the top rope. HE then wakes up the referee, who proceeds to count both Sting and Luger out of the ring, giving Flair the match and making him the top contender. Commercials. We come back, to find Mr. Heenan has chased Mike Tenay out of his seat. Hudson runs the fight card for the "Mayhem" PPV. 1. Goldberg v. Lex Luger. 2. Gen'l. Rection v. Mr. Personality", Lance Storm for the US Title. 3. Booker T v. Scott Steiner for the WCW World Heavyweight Title. "C'mere, Booker," says Heenan, motioning to Mr. Cameraman, who dutifully moves in for a close-up. (Heenan's face grows to the size of a 'Stop' sign, this close in.) "What's wrong with you? You're the champion of the world. You're on top. You can make all the decisions. You don't have to challenge people. You don't have to tell a guy, 'any stipulations you want!' You're dealing with Scott Steiner. Do you understand what could happen to you? Are you that dumb? Hello-o-o, (knocking on his own head) hello, Booker..." (knocking on the camera lens). "You don't do stuff like this! You don't make challenges!" (Heenan's getting into his screed.) "You sit at home and you cash the checks! You look at the belt and you shine it!" (Mr. Cameraman backs away, moving to a safer position, apparently.) "And you make the MINIMAL number of Title defenses as you possibly can. You understand, dummy?" (Heenan leaps out of his chair and crawls on top of the announcers' table, much to the surprise and alarm of Scott Hudson.) "YOU UNDERSTAND ME, BOOKER?" hollers Heenan right in Mr. Cameraman's face. In the background, Scott Hudson's got his head in his hands, shaking it. Heenan (passionately): "YOU DO NOT MAKE MATCHES! YOU STAY HOME AND...YOU...RELAX!" Heenan suddenly loses his footing and falls face-first onto the desk. "OOOHHH!" hollers Hudson in sympathy, "get a hold of yourself, Brain!" Heenan slowly drags himself back into his chair, slipping on the edge of the desk a second time. "You all right?" asks Hudson. "Yeah, I'm all right. Why do they have to wax these things...?" growls Heenan. Looks like his watch took the brunt of that last one, because he takes it off, listens to it, then shakes it vigorously. As Hudson sends us to the ring for this week's match, Heenan is heard to say, "I broke my Rolex!" Hudson peers at it, then says, "It's not real!" "The crystal's real," says Heenan. Match #1: Robbie Rage d. Kevin Northcutt, (Cobra cross-face/submission, 3:21) Your voice-over announcers are Mike Tenay and Wrestling's Only Living Legend, Larry Zbyszko. Tenay sees this week's match as a breakthrough opportunity for both wrestlers this week. What must be going through their minds as they get this opportunity. LarryZ says that they are each thinking that a win in tonight's match would give them that "extra shine" when the bookers decide who gets to move up to a debut match on Nitro, Thunder, or on a PPV. "Of course," says LarryZ, "Northcutt is also thinking 'if I make a mistake, this guy Robbie Rage is going to clobber me!' The pressure on these guys is no different than that on a champ defending his Title." As the match gets underway, Rage takes command early on with a body slam followed by an arm-bar. Northcutt powers out, then sweeps Rage's feet from under him, and locks on a standing toehold. Northcutt rolls Rage face down, then ratchets back on the toe-hold while pinning Rage's left arm to the mat. Looks painful as all get out, too! Rage refuses to submit, so Northcutt breaks the hold. This allows Rage to recover enough to pop Northcutt one in the jaw. Northcutt responds with a punch in the mouth. This only makes Rage mad (sorry for the pun), and he counters with another slap to the chest. Northcutt weathers the blow, grins, and wallops Rage a good one. Northcutt keeps walloping Rage with a Big Right Hand, staggering him back into the near corner. Cross-corner whip by Northcutt, but Rage reverses it, and Northcutt hits the opposite turnbuckle stack hard. As he staggers out of the corner, Rage hooks a waistlock, then does a belly-to-belly suplex on Northcutt. Cover by Rage, 1,2, Northcutt gets a shoulder up. Rage hooks on a reverse chinlock, but Northcutt powers up to his feet, and hits Rage with a fallaway powerslam. Northcutt goes outside the ring, then does a slingshot pescado over the top rope from the ring apron, nailing Rage in the sternum. Northcutt with a boot to the back of Rage's head. He then jaws with the crowd, and wallops Rage across the shoulders for good measure. Northcutt tries a cross-ring hip, but rage reverses it into a Northern Lights suplex and a cover, 1.,2, Northcutt kicks out. Back on their feet, but Rage doesn't remain so, as Northcutt superkicks him right in the bazoo. Cover by Northcutt, 1,2, Rage kicks out. Northcutt does a front chancery. Cross-ring whip by Northcutt, but Rage reverses. Rage telegraphs the back body drop, and Northcutt slams a big fist across Rage's back. Double underhook, BIG face-buster across Northcutt's knee! Lateral press, cover, 1,2, Rage gets a shoulder up. Northcutt looks to end the match, and sets for a high elevation suplex. Rage has other ideas, arm-bars Northcutt's left arm and foot-sweeps him to the canvas. Rage applies his "Cobra Cross-face" submission hold, and Northcutt taps out. Castrol GTX (Drive HARD!) Replay shows the end of the match. Commercials. We come back, and Heenan's crowing about how he's gonna have Larry Zbyszko on the show next week, "as my special guest." Heenan's going to demonstrate how you can change a hold a half an inch , and it will change the entire outcome of a match. "Here, Scott," says Heenan extending his arm, "grab my wrist with both hands." Hudson dutifully obliges. "Now, using both your hands, twist my wrist away from you." Hudson does, and Heenan's arm gets torqued real good. "There, Scott, do you see how much difference that half-an-inch made?" "Why, yes, Brain, I certainly can." "Is this yours?" asks Heenan, holding up Hudson's wallet. "HEY!" hollers Hudson, slapping his pocket, then snatching the wallet from Heenan's hand. "That's known as a 'side wrist-lock,' and 'watch the poke!'" says Heenan smugly. "Where's my WCW MasterCard with Kwee-Wee on it?" hollers Hudson, going through his wallet. (Huh?) "I don't know, I didn't go inside your wallet, " says Heenan in an injured tone. "Oh, come on, now..." says Scott, heatedly. "I don't know how to go inside, all I know is how to..." "Brain...!" says Hudson in a warning tone of voice. "...it's a gift I have..." Heenan looks offstage. "What? Cab? My cab's here?" (to Hudson): "I gotta go. My ride is here." Heenan gets up and walks off the set. "Larry Zbyszko will be here next w- hang on a minute, Brain!" hollers Scott. Heenan, (offstage, and rapidly disappearing): "See you next week..." "Yes, fans, see you ne- Brain, wait a minute! Where's the picture of my daughter?" Hudson's on his feet and chasing after Heenan. "Brain? BRAIN?? Get back here...!" Closing credits. See YOU next week. E.C. Ostermeyer [slash] wrestling Email the Author |
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