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WCW Worldwide by E.C. Ostermeyer |
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This is the WCW Worldwide report for Saturday, 3 March 2001, and I'm your recapper, ol' E.C. himself. Opening credits. Terry Taylor checks on the status of his Ebay auction of the WCW Television Title belt. Current high bidder is some guy named "HOOOOoooo" at oldgloryelbowdotcom. Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Scott Hudson. First up is a review of Superbrawl 2001. Tenay ties the impending sale of WCW to the campaign by CEO Ric Flair to eliminate anyone that would jeopardize his continued tenure as CEO under the new owners. Footage from Superbrawl shows Flair and Scott Steiner conspiring to sandbag Kevin Nash. Later, a wheel chaired Nash arrives for his World Title match with Scott Steiner, as Ric Flair announces that the Title match has a "loser leaves WCW forever" clause in it. Steiner taunts Nash, who promptly rises from the wheelchair and smashes Steiner flat with the World Title belt. "Well, I guess I wasn't as hurt as I appeared," grins Nash, standing over the unconscious carcass of Scott Steiner. Then, to referee Charles Robinson, "Take the count," which Robinson does, and we've got a new WCW World Heavyweight Champion. That is, until Ric Flair changes the rules, and makes the match a two out of three falls contest. "Have you flipped?!" screeches Tony Schiavone. Diamond Dallas Page heads for the ring to forestall any foolishness, only to get walloped by Totally Buff and dumped in a roadie case. Kevin Nash gets Steiner Reclinered, and gets retired from WCW. Back in the studio, where Tenay says it's all about leverage and who's in power when the new owners take over. Commercials. We come back, where Tenay questions whether Ric Flair's thinning of the WCW talent roster is such a good idea so close to the actual transfer to the new owners. Next on the list for elimination was DDP, and fake funeral skit from the Huntsville, AL Nitro shows Scott Steiner saying that, because of their past history in the ring and out of it, he's gonna enjoy taking DDP apart and ending his career, and welcome back to Kris Kanyon. Later, DDP hits Kanyon with a Diamond Cutter in their match, and is chased from the ring by Scott Steiner. "Hey Steiner! I'm still standing!" bellows DDP from way up in the crowd. Back to the studio, where Scott Hudson says that DDP's mind-games campaign on Scott Steiner has worked so well, that Steiner's losing sight of their match at the Greed PPV, and wants to take him on right now. Not surprisingly, this loss of focus by Steiner has disturbed Ric Flair, who sees Steiner as the flagship of the "new" WCW, and won't allow anything to jeopardize that status. "Keep in mind, though," says Tenay, "that we are just one Diamond Cutter away from crowning a new WCW World Heavyweight Champion at "Greed!" Commercials. It's time for "Ask WCW," and this week's question from David King of Arizona City, AZ, asking Mean Gene Okerlund "Which WCW superstar have you enjoyed interviewing the most, and why?" Over to Mean Gene, who says that, out of a career that spans four decades (!) his favorite is Ric Flair. "He can work the camera, he can work the crowd, and he can certainly work in the ring!" Tenay once again thinks the question is for him: "You know, David, when I reflect back to 1995, my first interview was with the Harlem Heat! Then, when Vader grabbed me around the neck and slammed me against that metal locker..." "WAIT a minute there, Mike!" interrupts Hudson. "Does this story come with a POINT??!!" "I'm just answering the question that David King..." begins Tenay. "Let me look... nope, his question wasn't addressed to you!" retorts Hudson, with an exasperated look on his face. Tenay looks crestfallen and disappointed. Commercials. We come back to Scott Hudson's interview with Shane "Franchise" Douglas. This is a follow-on to his "shoot-interview" segment on Thunder a while back. We learn that: 1. Douglas buried the hatchet with Ric Flair, or so he thought. Turns out Flair was lining up his elite to take Douglas out of professional wrestling despite of all the things that were said. 2. "Franchise v. the Nature Boy Part 3" is something Douglas never asked for, but Ric Flair's fired up the tiger inside, and now he's got to deal with what he's done, because Douglas won't ever give up. "Heck, I'm ready for parts 4,5, and 6 if he is!" says Douglas. 3. In reminiscing about his early career, we learn that Douglas had to leave wrestling for two years to care for his invalid father, and pursued a career in teaching by getting a Master's Degree in Education. Part 2 of this interview airs next week. After a rather extensive block of Commercials Hudson and Tenay promo WCW's "Spring Breakout 2001" festivities at the following venues: 3/9 University of Tennessee, Knoxville, TN 3/16 University of Florida, Gainesville, FL 3/23-3/26 Panama City Beach, FL for the 4-day grand finale. Tenay left out "Inflatable Activities", which Hudson points out. "WOW! Mean Gene's gonna be there, too?" asks Tenay Hudson, after giving Tenay "The Look," runs the fight card for the "Greed" PPV. Commercials. This week's WCW Trivia Question: "How old was Shane Douglas when he won his first Title? 21 years old. This week's "Professor's Pick" has Hudson all excited because Bunkhouse Buck is in it! Hudson starts doing some kind of dance, at which point Tenay asks if he's having a seizure. Hudson says no, he was sounding like Bunkhouse Buck. Tenay says it sounded like Mean Gene partaking of the "Inflatable Activities!" Professor's Pick of the Week: Dustin Rhodes d. Bunkhouse Buck (w/ Col. Bob Parker), (Cowbell smash to the forehead/pin, 8:13) Bull Rope match, Slamboree 1994, Philadelphia, PA. Your play-by-play announcers are Bobby "the Brain" Heenan, and what sounds like a fourteen-year-old Tony Schiavone! Jeez, has HIS voice changed or what? Ah, the good old days, when they were using that big ol' yellow "gunsight" WCW logo on the ring floor. Buck makes his way to the ring, accompanied by Col. Bob Parker, who's been in, what? just about every one of these Professor's Picks so far? Looks like somebody got an "Appearance Residuals" clause in his contract, huh? Rhodes is already in the ring, whirling the bullrope around his head like a big lasso. Rhodes and Buck duke it out right off the bat, and don't even bother hooking up to the bullrope. Buck bails out to ringside, as Heenan calls him the "head cashew" of all nuts. "He don't care!" says Heenan. Rhodes leans WAY over the ropes to garrote Buck with the bullrope, then near hangs him by dragging Buck back up on the ring apron. Col. Parker's on the other side of the ring, hollering for the referee (Nick Patrick?) to break the hold! Rhodes drags Buck into the center of the ring, and then nails him with a Bionic Elbow right to the forehead. A Rhodes Big Right Hand to the same spot drops Buck to the mat. "This is not a bullrope match by any sense of the word, "says Schiavone. "Buck IS connected to the bullrope, Tony!" says Heenan. "Yeah, but it's around his NECK, Brain!" says Schiavone. The match goes on like this, as does the commentary. Schiavone sounds more strident, and at the same time, even less convincing as a play-by-pay man, if that's possible. Are you surprised? The middle part of the match finds Rhodes wrapping the bullrope around Buck's neck, and then yanking on it like he's trying to start a lawn mower. Buck responds with a barrage of punches, and the two trade blows for a bit before Rhodes nails him with an Atomic Drop. Rhodes then does a "hamstring popper" that has the added bonus of splitting the seat of Buck's jeans to the general hilarity of the fans at ringside. Buck's left knee gets wrapped around the ringpost, and whanged but good twice in a row. Heenan says that Roseanne Barr (remember her?) did indeed call Dustin's father, Dusty Rhodes, but only to see if she could borrow his jeans! Schiavone does gargling sounds. He's probably thinking about being named as a co-defendant by Barr's attorneys in her libel suit against WCW, huh? Dustin starts whacking Buck's left knee a lot with the cowbell! He then dumps Buck on the ringside floor mat. "Oooo! Didja hear Buck's head hit the (concrete) floor?" hollers Heenan. Schiavone says that Col. Parker's got "something" planned for Ric Flair. Heenan responds that he tried to wheedle what it was out of Col. Parker, but all he got was a cigar! "That's because you'd tell everybody, Brain," says Schiavone. "No I wouldn't," says Heenan, then pauses. "Uhh, you got any money on you?" Schiavone, mystified, says yes. "Well then, there's a very good chance that YOU'D know, Tony" grins Heenan, and you can just hear him rubbing his hands together in anticipation. Meanwhile, back in the ring, Dustin's grinding the cowbell into Buck's left kneecap. Buck, hollering, reaches over and pulls Dustin's T-shirt up over his face, blinding him. he then starts walloping Dustin with the bullrope. "Man, it smells like the RODEO is in town!" says Heenan. "Naw, that's just Buck sitting right down in front of us here," says Tony. Buck's just whaling the tar out of Dustin with the bullrope, an pulling Rhodes' T-shirt over his head some more. "C'mon, Dustin! Give him the shirt off your back!" says Heenan, which cracks Schiavone up big-time. Buck drags Rhodes to the outside of the ring, and paintbrushes him one across the face. "Here's where it gets dirty!" says Heenan. "It gets dirty NOW?" says an incredulous Schiavone, as Buck whips Rhodes into the steel ringpost HARD! Heenan suggests tying Rhodes to the ringpost, "like the Indians used to do..." then Buck should "get some straw and wood, and burn him down!" "Uhhhh, that appears to be just what Buck is trying to do, Brain!" says Schiavone. Col. Parker's hollering about Rhodes "playin' with the big boys now, ain'tcha?" as Buck takes off his suspenders and chokes the tied-up Rhodes with them. Rhodes tries a couple of half-strength swats to keep Buck at bay. "That's the Rhodes' mentality," says Heenan, "Too dumb to quit!" Rhodes hits a power surge, and hammers his way out of danger with a series of slaps, Bionic Elbow shots, and finally a golotta that apparently connected for real! Rhodes hammers the cowbell into Buck's head, and the crowd starts up a "We want blood!" chant. "I heard that at the restaurant this morning when the waitress was bringing me my eggs!" says Heenan. "She said they were all out of salsa!" Schiavone, losing it yet again, says, "That doesn't surprise me." "Hey, Philly's a rough town!" says Heenan. "Wanna hear how rough? Whattaya you usually get at the end of a sentence?" "A period?" says Schiavone, playing the straight man. "Nope," says Heenan, "here you get parole!" You can hear sounds of suppressed mirth off mic. Schiavone's laughing fit to bust. Rhodes has the crowd counting along with his Ten-Count Punch-Down, then finishes up with an American Dream flourish and a Bionic Elbow. Rhodes whips Buck across the ring, and the cowbell nearly catches the referee in the face. Rhodes yanks hard on the bullrope to spin Buck back across the ring, only to have him collide with referee, who goes down in a heap. Rhodes hits a vertical suplex, which brings in Col. Parker to make the save. Rhodes spots him, and dumps Parker into the far corner. Rhodes takes up the slack in the bullrope, and is about to clobber Parker with it, when Buck hammers Rhodes from behind. As Buck pinions Rhodes' arms, the Col. Grabs the cowbell, winds up...and gets a double dropkick in the breadbasket from Rhodes that tumbles him back into the corner. Rhodes slams Buck in the stomach with an elbow smash, than nails him on the forehead with the cowbell, getting the pinfall. Post-match, out comes Terry Funk, towel on head, and branding iron in hand. Funk clouts Rhodes right in the face with the branding iron. Funk and Buck then start the post-match beat-down on Rhodes, with an attempted spike piledriver that doesn't go off, because Buck's too exhausted to pick Rhodes up. Funk covers nicely with a middle rope smash with the branding iron across Rhodes' back. Mr. Timekeeper just about beats the ring bell to death, as (a young!) Doug Dellinger and the Klown Kar o' Refs arrive to break up the fracas. Heenan's hollering that the end of the branding iron is smoking! "It's HOT! It's HOT!" Heenan's proved wrong when Funk throws the branding iron at the by-now unconscious and bleeding Rhodes, and a referee grabs it by the business end and clears it from the ring. "We've got a new chapter in the Funk/Rhodes war!" screeches Schiavone. Back to the studio, where Tenay brings us up to date on the career of Dustin Rhodes, including his win over Rick Steiner, the current feud with Jeff Jarrett, and his father's re-opening of HIS old feud with Ric Flair. Hudson promos the Shane Douglas interview for next week's show, and we are done. Closing credits. See you next week. E.C. Ostermeyer [slash] wrestling Email the Author Comment about this article on the EZBoard |
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