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WCW Worldwide by Mike Mousseau |
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Welcome back to WCW Worldwide! Our studio hosts are Tony Schiavone and Larry Zbyszko. Sting and
Hogan are set to face off at Halloween Havoc on 24.10.99, and Sting is the heel, goshdarnit! Let's go back
to 27.9.99 Monday Nitro, where Hogan got out of a limousine, and Sting enacts every smart mark's fantasy
and destroys Hogan's knee. Later, he does it again. Then, there's a match with Sting, Hart, Flair, DDP, and
notLuger. Stuff happens, and Hogan makes a (gimpy) save. What courage! What determination! Whatever!
Sting's such a coward now. Tony and Larry speculate on the health of Hogan's knee. Next up, we'll hype Sid/Goldberg. They're playin' those mind games together. Playing those mind games forever. Gene Okerlund strongly encourages us to get our tickets in advance for Nitro in Minneapolis, 1.11.99. He's got an interview with Goldberg. Goldberg: "(Sid), it doesn't matter where I getcha, it doesn't matter when I getcha, but I'm gonna getcha. You remember that." Gene says that at Nitro you can cut the electricity with a big knife. Why would anybody want to cut electricity with a knife? Wouldn't that, ya know, electrocute you? Gene has never seen Goldberg refuse anyone an autograph. Goldberg says the fans are what drives him, he does everything for them. Alrighty. One of our sport's biggest matches in history will take place at Halloween Havoc. Sid v. Goldberg. They're also two of the strongest men in the history of our sport, says Tony. Larry puts over that Sid's streak is a farce, but the man himself is no fallacy. Hmmm, fallacy. Sounds kinda like fellatio. I wonder if they're from the same root word. So let's go to that episode of Nitro, where Goldberg beat Hugh Morrus, but not before Sid rested a chair on Goldy's back. Later, Goldberg looks for Sid. Moses makes a cameo. Sid's car gets towed. Then, it's brought back, but it's really flat. Ha. Haha. Hahaha. See, I'm not really laughing because I didn't use exclamation points. Tony thinks Goldberg is pulling these stunts because of the "no contact" contract stipulation. I'm neutral. Larry thinks the "no contact" stip was a bad idea on Sid's part because it'll just make Goldberg more eager to get his hand's on him (literally) at Havoc. The birth of the Total Package after the break. And there was much rejoicing! (---) So, onto the (re)birth of the Total Package. Larry: "Let's bow our heads for a moment of silent laughter." The funeral scene is shown, and I FFWD. If you want details, check CRZ's 27.9.99 Nitro report. Oh, notLuger poses in the ring, too. Tony says even though notLuger is so huge and a great physical specimen and stuff, he's a friend of Sting's, and thus we all hate him. Larry says notLuger is egotistical. And just generally bad. Next up, we'll rundown, so to speak, the Halloween Havoc card. Tony says HH is shaping up to be the card of the year, maybe of the decade. Riiight. Here's the card so far: NotLuger v. Bret Hart DDP v. Ric Flair Sid Vicious v. Goldberg Sting v. Hulk HoganBetter than last week, when we were only told two matches. Hype, hype and then hype somemore. Double main event is next! Match#1: Chuck Palumbo v. Johnny "The Bull" Hugger - These two guys are wrestling in their first televised match, according to Schiavone. Straight outta the Plant. Our announcers are Scott Hudson and Mike Tenay. Hugger is already in the ring as Palumbo makes his entrance. Palumbo is a little taller, and has longer, curly hair. Hugger has short hair. Both have pretty decent builds. Lockup, go behind by Palumbo, and Hugger shakes him off via the top rope. Hugger turns around, and runs straight into a clothesline. Slam, dropkick sends Hugger out of the ring. Referee is the new one. I'd check CRZ's report to get his name, but I'm hurrying to get done before the Packer game. For the record, Johnny is not a bullhugger. Tenay says Palumbo is 6'6", 275 lbs, 28 years old, and from Providence, Rhode Island. Hugger is 6'2", 250 lbs, 21 years old, and is from Atlanta, GA. In honor of these guys' first match, I won't bother with too much play by play. Hugger seems to be playing the heel. Palumbo hits an armdrag, then works move #243, the ARM- bar. Or, as my uncle Mark would say, the bar-arm. Hugger is up, and to the ropes, but Palumbo arm tosses him and keeps the bar. Oh, he switches to move #579, the arm-BAR. Clever. Hugger is sent to the corner, and Palumbo charges with a clothesline. Hudson lasted 15 minutes at the Power Plant. Hugger dumps Palumbo over the top rope. He follows him out, and sends him back into the ring. Club to the back, diving fist to the head. Quasi-fisherman suplex by Hugger, floatover, and he pulls him up at two! What a dick! Well, I guess he won't be winning his first match. Rear chinlock applied. Palumbo powers out, off the ropes, and he runs through Hugger. Hugger up first. He runs to the corner, over Palumbo, springs up top, and misses a "body splash." Palumbo tries to work the crowd, and the heat machine responds! I'm glad this one isn't as deafening as the Thunder! machine. Right, right, Hugger down. Kicks, and a face plant. Hugger misses a punch, and Palumbo connects with a back heel kick to the back of Hugger's head. That gets the 1,2,3. (4:52) Tenay says that savat kick Palumbo used is called the Jungle Kick. Oh, I get it. Palumbo wears tiger-stripe shorts. Forgot to tell ya's. The 1-800 COLLECT replay confirms what we already suspected: These guys are green. Okerlund now has Bobby Heenan in an interview. Heenan unfunnily pretends he's looking for something to steal from the lockers. Gene says 'hell,' just for the hell of it. Minneapolis is where it all started for Okerlund and Heenan. Jesse Ventura is brought up. Heenan says that if he were still with Adrian Adonis, he'd be the first lady of Minnesota. I say he'd be a necrophiliac. Match #2: Psychosis (w/Juventud Guerrera) v. Al Green - Referee is Chas. Robinson. Psychosis is unmasked here. I'll go out on a limb and predict a Psychosis victory. Lockup, Psy shoved down. For reference, Psychosis is the face here. Get it, the face?! Lockup, armwringer by Green, into a wristlock. Hammerlock, go behind by Psychosis, and Green goes to the ropes. Lockup, go behind by Green, full nelson, headlock, and Psychosis to the ropes. He comes off with a high knee. Oops, that was just a shitty dropkick. My mistake. Green to the ropes, and he downs Psy with a shoulderblock. Test of strength? Nope, Psy gets a kick in. Dropkick to Green's left knee. Chop, whip, no, reversed, and Green hits a stepaway press slam. Green taunts Juvy. Juvy to the apron, and he decks Green. No sell, and Green floors Juvy with a right. Camera misses a spinning heel kick, I think. Psy goes up top, and he's crotched. Juvy's in, behind Chas.'s back, and there's the Juvy driver. Maybe Psychosis isn't the face here. I forget, which is he in real life again? Anyway, Psychosis goes up top and hits his guillotine legdrop. Stick a fork in Al Green, he's done. (3:11) Without the mask, Psychosis may be better than ever! Or so Mike Tenay would have you believe. Tony and Larry hype Psychosis and Juventud for awhile, and then Halloween Havoc. Sid and Goldberg too. Larry: "Sid Vicious found out Goldberg can play chess." Seriously? Anyway, that's the show. Back next week, and I won't be wearing a mask either! Mike Mousseau [slash] wrestling Mail the Author Visit The Miscreant's Moor |
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