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/4 December 1999

WCW Worldwide by Jason Hanes




I decided to come back and do the beginning for this report after watching this show. Mainly because I missed the first 90 seconds. That and I was on AOL with this woman. I have a catch phrase which I started on my college television show which is appropriate for her, but I'm trying to build a reputation as being an honest, "entertaining" recapper first before I go and do the typical perverted crap that a lot of people do.

I missed the opening, but I assume we had the satellite, and the control room and all that other junk.

Your hosts this week are Scott Hudson and Larry Zybyzko.

We start off with stills from Starrcade and the Final Four. Bret Hart defeated Chris Benoit to win the world title. Meanwhile, all the internet smarts who were moaning because they KNEW they wouldn't get a Hart/Benoit final started moaning because they had run-ins during the match.

We come back to Scott and Larry. Scott says that Bret knows to be the best world champ in WCW, he has to beat "the bomb," Goldberg.

Bret Hart comes out on the Nov. 22, 1999 Nitro in our first live motion flashback to cut an interview. He's going to be the best World Champ WCW's ever had. He tells Goldberg that he got cheated and screwed out of the tournament, so he'll give Bill a shot at Starrcade!

Hall and Nash come out and challenge Bret and Bill to a match. Of course, Bill isn't there, but Bret will take the challenge on behalf of him. Jeff Jarrett comes out to frick things up some more, and he breaks a guitar over Bret's head. Then he says "slapnuts" to make all the smarts laugh...I guess...then he takes the title belt. By the way, slapnuts did not get bleeped on the local TV.

In the back, Mike Tenay talks to our tag team faces. Bill tells Bret don't worry about the Outsiders, he'll take them. Bret can go get Jarrett!

No we've got highlights of the Hart/Jarrett match. Dustin Rhodes comes out and hits Jarrett with the title belt while the ref was out making sure Creative Control didn't mess with Bret. Hart climbs back in the ring and pins Jarrett.

WE'll take a break and be back.

Mayhem CD ad. That's $13.67 I'll never get back dammit. Starrcade ad! I don't have cable anyway.

Powers That Be are using a cop out, according to Larry. The Powers don't want young guys, but they want puppets.

So let's go back to Mayhem with stills of Bagwell/Hennig match. Or as Zybysko says, "Henning."

Now back to Nitro on Nov. 22 and the retirement speech that Curt couldn't get out. Good lord, Curt was getting over at the end there. Then they have him run down during the Bagwell/Booker T match and kill everything by having him attack Marcus.

Our Power tells us that Hennig will be the boss. Whoopee!

Coming up next, a look at Rowdy Roddy Piper.

Back off break, we skip all the crappy limo stuff coming back and we look at the Rowdy one coming out to the ring. Cheap face heat for Piper as he talks about the greatness of Detroit sports. Then they cut his mic when he started running down the PTB's writing skills. So Piper goes and takes a tech with him to get to the PTB office. He breaks in...hilarity ensues. It ends up that Piper gets a ref shirt out of the deal. I've got six of those from when I worked at a skating rink.

In studio, Piper says that the Powers That Be told Piper, "to coin a phrase know his role." Do you think that the reason Scott doesn't do Monday Nitro is because it would mean he would miss Raw?

We'll take a break and be right back.

Poor Jimmy Baron. He doesn't get a DJ at 99X, so he has to go and do the 1-800-CALL-ATT road report. They're in New Orleans this Monday!

Back off break, we look at the dissolving of the Filthy Animals. They lose the tag titles because Kidman runs to the back to stop Torrie from falling for a married Eddie Gurrerro, leaving Konnan open to a Creative Control double team. Therefore, Kidman and Eddie have a match. During the match, the Revolutions beat up on Konnan (yeah!) and Kidman and Eddie proceeded to beat each other up pretty badly.

We'll take another break. If I get an actual match this week, I might give you a rundown of the sponsors.

Back off break, in our Castrol Segment of the Week, let's look at the Goldberg/Outsiders match. Who would Goldberg's partner be? Sid! What a surprise! Nice crappy match ends with the Outsiders winning and a giant pull apart. I almost fell back to sleep. Let's take a break and come back.

Larry gives us his warning again about leaving if the Powers That Be continue on their current track. Scott says goodbye, and that's the show for this week.

My God, what a horrible show! All I ask for is one match! One match! Is that too much?! Oh well. At least I have Saturday Night, which I will recap for the first time in three attempts this week! Until then everyone!

Jason Hanes
[slash] wrestling

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Copyright (C) 1999 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission