Women of Wrestling
WOMEN OF WRESTLING #21
QUICK QUOTE: WOWI.OB 1.01 (- 0.615)
WOW logo - Ohhhhhhhhh WOW!
LAST WEEK ON WOW: It's all about Roxy Powers and Slam Dunk! Go read the WOW #20 report!
TONIGHT: That's right - it's a strap match! Roxy Powers and Slam Dunk go at it again! Also, Caged Heat will be in action (and here's a clip from the PPV in case you ever wanted to see them actually IN a ring WITH the belts) - also a word from Thug: "Terri Gold, I know you're scared o' me - the last time I had you in here I almost chokeslammed you through the ring. If that puny little carcass has any guts left, I challenge you to a match!" Yep, Terri Gold takes on Thug for the WOW title - tonight!
POISON v. HAMMERIN' HEATHER STEELE - DAVID McLANE is in the ring to make the first set of introductions: "From toxic parts unknown, the tag team partner of Ice Cold...the mysterious and dangerous one, if you will....Poison!" Poison sticks out her tongue - her way of saying "no, you shan't see the rest of my entrance video tonight, and you won't until my hair (blonde) matches the video (yellow)." "Her opponent, from Sweet Hoooooooome, Oregon - the greatest tool time girl YOU ever seen, baby! Hammerin' Heather Steeeeeeeeeeeeeele!" While Steele is busy yelling to anyone who will listen (ARE YOU REEEEEEADYYYY - umm, okay), let ME yell to YOU that this is Women of Wrestling #21, airing in most markets the weekend of 24.2.1 (taped 20.1) and coming to you from the Church of WOW, the Great Western Forum in Inglewood, CA. Marshall says something about the Oregon Ducks football team - that's kinda outdated, isn't it? Poison doing some kind of...imaginary tool belt dance? Hmm. Here we go. Lockup, side headlock by Steele, STOMPING it in - hiplock takeover by Poison, rolling it for 2. Steele holds the headlock, back up, STOMPING IT IN once again - - Poison powers out, Steele with the predictable shoulderblock off the ropes. Up and over, off the ropes, leapfrog by Poison, clotheslines hher down. Scoop...and a slam. Wow, lookit her nipple! Poison gets 1. Harley's Angles take on Jade and Lotus tonight - Poison puts her in the ropes, but Steele hits a rollup for 2 off the ropes. The main event sees Terri Gold take on Thug for the title. Rake of the eyes by Poison, head to the buckle, again, licks her hand and - munches on her forehead, I think. Trying to snapmare her out of the corner, but Steele hooks the top rope - and again - and turns her over into a backslide for 2. Poison with a boot to the gut - into the ropes, reversed, drop toehold by Steele...into a hammerlock. Poison snapmares her out - off the ropes, kneedrop. Poison boots her, then goes to the camel (toe) clutch! Steele does a fair amount of screaming, and tries to lift her feet to kick her in the back - Poison going to the hair, and referee "Blind" Jesse Hernandez forcing a break. Into the ropes, reversed, semi-powerslam by Steele, Poison off at 2. Poor, poor Heather and her super wet white tank top and her left nipple...oops, Poison with the lick my hand Poison paraliser - 1, 2, 3. (3:21) Kiss it! "I get the job done! Nyaa!" McLane again calls her Ice Cold's partner, but how sure can we be of that?
If that didn't get you going, here's a short word from EnerX
A stretch Hummer pulls up backstage - OH MY GOD BISCHOFF AND KIDMAN ARE DRIVING IT - Slam Dunk exits. "Roxy Powerless, this is how a superior athlete arrives? How are you gonna get here - hitchhike? It's game time, baby."
EZ RIDER & CHARLIE DAVIDSON (with Thug) v. JADE and LOTUS - THOMAS GRIFFIN with the introductions: "THIS is a tag team match! Introducing first, escorted to the ring by the leader of the gang, Harley's Angels...it's EZ Rider and Charlie Davidson, escorted into the ring by Thug!" "Harley's Angels - yeah! Ah yeah! Harley's Angels is in the house! Lemme tell ya something - we're gonna have the Asian Invasion for breakfast - ya understand? But what we really want, what Harley's Angels really wants is those silly little jailbirds. Tell 'em what we do to jailbirds, Charlie." "We're gonna make 'em feel the wrath of the Angels! 'cause whatcha gonna do when the Angels make roadkill outta YOU?" Charlie Davidson is Hulk Hogan. "Their opponents - the Asian Invasion! Introducing the Asian Spitfire...Jade! And her tag team partner...the exotic flower - it's Lotus! They are the Asian Invasion." A little too much time in the ring waving to the crowd - Angels knock them down from behind - double into the ropes, double leapfrog, double sunset flip attempt, double counter, double 2, double legs on the shoulders rollup, double 2. Everybody's frustrated! Lotus shoves out Davidson while Rider shoves out Jade - we're down to one on one, at least. Lockup, to the ropes, right by Rider, into the ropes, back elbow puts Lotus down. Rider putting on the badmouth - dropkick for Lotus - Davidson grabs the hair while she's in the corner - and it looks like it's broncobuster time already. Tag out to Davidson - Lotus into the ropes - wicked sidewalk slam gets 2. (LEE MARSHALL tries to call a 3 even though it's only a minute in - well, it *is* the Asian Invasion after all) Rider wants the tag - and gets it. Into the ropes, gutshot by Davidson, hairpull takedown by Rider. Still got her hair...but Lotus manages to crawl through her legs and make the tag! In comes Jade - handstand, body scissors, rollup for 2! Rider put in the corner, whipped to the opposite corner, no reversed, Jade springs up and hits the Samurai Scissors! Tag to Davidson - Jade with a monkey flip! Into the ropes, reversed, bringing her up - yikes, another Samurai Scissors that looks close to death. Thug pulls Davidson out and they conference. Jade decides to bring Ride in the hard way - into the corner, tag to Lotus, handspring elbow, snapmared to the centre, seated dropkick off the ropes. Rider tag out. Davidson ducks the roundhouse kick...and clotheslines her down. Scoop....and a slam. 1, 2, Lotus kicks out. Tag to Rider, holding her for...a double suplex! Davidson covers but Rider is busy talking to the camera, distracting referee "Blind" Josh Milton. Free shot for Jade as well. Davidson putting forearms to Lotus' back - but Lotus hits a legsweep to trip her up...then tags Jade. Rider calls Davidson back in the ring - are they arguing? Well, either way they're in position for Jade to leap off Lotus' all fours position - they catch her and are all "well what the heck is THIS?" Lotus with a dropkick to the pile and Jade has them BOTH covered - 1, 2, Thug pulls her off! Gutshot by Davidson - another double suplex coming up - yup. Still in the ring - double DDT - Davidson covers - 1, 2, 3. (4:38) Lotus comes in and is quickly dealt with. Here's a replay.
Who will win the swimsuit competition? WHO? Here's a giant Venus Swimwear logo for the first time - about TIME they got some promotional consideration, eh?
Visit wowe.com and vote! It's your last chance!
SLAM DUNK v. ROXY POWERS, THE TOTAL ATHLETE in a strap match - "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, introducing the six-foot-three power forward, it's Slaaaaaaam Dunk!" "Roxy Powers - Slam Dunk enjoyed beatin' you last week, and I'ma beat you down tonight. Because I am, I slam and I am undefeated!" "Her opponent in the first-ever strap match - she is the total athlete - ladies and gentlemen....Rrrrrrroxy Powers!" Lockup, to the corner, Powers making lotsa yelling noises - right, right, whip of the thigh, whip, choke, OH OH OHHHHH, foot on the neck, AHHHHH, into the opposite corner is reversed - Dunk gets a boot up and shoves her back. OHHH. Hooks the leg - 1. Do pinfalls count in this match? Into the ropes, Dunk forces a leapfrog - Powers pulls the strap between her legs to take her down. Into the ropes, boot to the midsection by Powers, face jam. Dunk goes outside...but Powers pulls on the strap to bring her back in - only, it doesn't work - Dunk pulls Roxy to the mat. "I am Slam Dunk!" Thanks for sharing! Dunk pulls her to the outside and chokes her with the strap. OHHHHHH OHHHH YEAH SHUT UP. Dunk back in - SLAM DUNK SLAM DUNK SLAM DUNK fans fail to pick up the chant. Again they tug o' war over the strap - this time, however, Powers lets go and Dunk ends up on her butt. And as she comes back in, it appears that it's time for a good ol' fashioned ad break...
When we come back - Dunk reverses a whip into the ropes, big boot puts her down. There's a leg drop - Powers kicks out. Powers put into the rope...and caught with a strap choke takedown. Big legdrop MISSES, and Powers is slowly up, Dunk runs into a drop toehold, and Power tags one corner...two....dragging Dunk for three...walking to the last corner but Dunk pulls her back, ducks a clothesline, choke, says OH about a hundred times and hits ahhhhhTHECHOKESLAAAAAM! Dunk with one post - two - three - Powers with a firewoman's carry takeover. Side Russian legsweep by Powers. Into the ropes, double clothesline and both women are down. McLane talks about "Women of Wrestling" magazine - anybody seen it, or is it a figment of McLane's low-budget imagination? Dunk is up first - one. Powers touches one behind her. Ahh, yes, I think it's in the old NWA rulebook that all matches end with the face tapping turnbuckles right behind the heel - here's two for each - three for Dunk, three for Powers - Powers going "shhh" to the fans, heh - Powers trips up Dunk on her way to the last corner - walking to the corner but Dunk grabs an ankle and refuses to let her go - but Powers makes a dive and (apparently) hits it. That *may* have been the most boring strap match *ever.* (2:20 + 3:34)
Let Us Take You Back Several Weeks to Show You How Danger Won The WOW Championship...And Then Lost It At The Pay-Per-View - the contenders are lining up for a shot at Terri Gold - Jungle Grrrl, Poison, Ice Cold, Slam Dunk, and don't forget Thug - she's coming up!
But first, this short word from (beyond the grave by) Benny Hill
Backstage with the three members of Caged Heat. Pain: "Hey, yo Vendetta, how come you can't come in the ring with us?" "You kidding me? You think they're stupid? After they saw what I did at WOW Unleashed, they ain't gonna let me out of these cuffs, you know what I'm saying?" "Yeah I hear you - yo, yo, we'll get you out of those things soon, okay? And then we'll ALL get to commit assault" (all) "Legally!" "Put the beatdown on somebody! That's what I'm talking about." "Yo, yo, take care of these, yo, 'cause you know what? I STILL don't trust that guard!" So they put her in the van and drive her all the way from Nevada....so she can stay in cuffs backstage holding the belts? That's a s-t-r-e-t-c-h.
BOOM BOOM and CALIENTE v. CAGED HEAT (UNLEASHED) for (presumably) the WOW tag team championship - "From the beautiful island of Maui, introducing...Boom Boom. Boom Boom's tag team partner...the hot Latina, Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaliente!" McLane says Cali is a big favourite of his brother, John. Marshall fails to ask him if he was the guy in the "Die Hard" trilogy, but oh well. "Their opponents, from the Nevada State Correctional Facility....Caaaaged Heat! Caged Heat is UNLEASHED!" The crowd loves Boom Boom and Caliente...but loves Caged Heat about twice as much. Looks like they get some mic time as well. "Yo, what's goin' doooooown..what's goin' down? Yeah. Yo yo yo - yo D, they got a clock in here? Ya - ya got a watch? I don't see no clock, I don't see no watch." "Ay ay, hey Lee, I know you got a Rolex on, and David, I know you gotcho clock on. Wait a minute - lemme ask our peeps here - anybody got a watch on? So I'm gonna ask you - WHAT TIME IS IT?" "Yeah yeah, that's what I thought." If you didn't say "hard time," well, too bad. Boom Boom & Caliente, having patiently waited, decide to hit a double dropkick to start things off. Caged Heat back with double gutshots, and to adjacent corners. We are introduced to JEANNIE BUSS on third headset - she's a big fan of the felons, you know. Into the opposite corner with Caliente, Boom Boom whipped into her partner but Caliente leaps over her - then Boom Boom lifts her into a double kick for Caged Heat! Now we're down to one on one as we take a look at Buss - how chic is her top? Not as chic as her NBA champs' ring. It's Pain and Boom - hairpull takedown by Pain. Off the ropes with a legdrop to the back of the head - 1, 2, kickout with authority! Boom Boom manages a tag, so Pain tags out as well. Marshall asks if anything's up between Buss and McLane - she says they're "just friends." Then they exchange CREEPY grins. Lockup, side headlock by Loca, into the ropes, shoulderblock (hmm) - into the ropes, Caliente with a drop toehold - double thrust takes her down - leg is hooked - 2. Gutshot by Loca - scoop...and a slam. Elbowdrop off the ropes by Loca - into the ropes, muscling her up into a sidewalk slam. Delta Lotta Pain up top - yikes - somersault DOUBLE legdrop onto Caliente - just squashed her - Boom Boom breaks the pinfall attempt because she couldn't kick out. Caliente manages to climb between the legs and hightail to her corner to tag Boom Boom. She gets in over the top rope (awkwardly, but) and dropkicks Pain. Into the ropes, awkward powerslam gets 1 but she's not covering. Into the corner, and Loca had her back to the action - Pain hits her and takes her to the floor. VOLCANO splash in the corner! Back to the opposite corner - and ANOTHER volcano! Boom Boom on the second rope - BANZAI DROP! But Loca dropkicks her in the back, her head hits the turnbuckle and Pain uses the momentum to get 2. Boom Boom into the ropes - Pain has her up in the scoop - rammed into a turnbuckle before slammed down - nice touch. 1, 2, Boom Boom kicks her off. Into the ropes, double clotehsline ducked, and Boom Boom hits one of her own! The ring is covered with grass skirt clippings. Boom Boom makes the tag to the fresh girl...hmm, must have been an edit here because Caliente looks completely UNfresh, slumped in the corner...Pain beals her out. Tag to Loca - there's Capital Punishemtn - Loca covers and it's over - 1, 2, 3. (4:42) But they're not done - there's Hard Time for Boom Boom! (I thought that was a driveby? Oh, who can remember.) With Boom Boom out of the ring, CHARLIE DAVISON & EZ RIDER hit the ring and breakpool cues over the women in orange - the ring is cleared, and now they're brwaling out in the aisles! Here come the REFEREES & SECURITY GUARDS...but getting these four separated is no easy task. If you leave, THEY'RE COMING AFTER YOU, by the way.
THUG v. TERRI GOLD for the WOW Championship - "Ladies and gentlemen, entering the ring, accompanied by her gang, Charlie Davidson and EZ Rider - NO she's coming by herself, it's Thug! Her opponent...she's a Perfect 10 - Terri Gold!" Terri, by the way, doesn't have the title belt (heh heh) with her - Thug runs at her, but she ducks the clothesline, second rope crossbody gets 1. Thug complains of a pull of the mullet, then points to her tattoo. Lockup, hairpull by Thug, to the corner, overhand right MISSES, Gold with a firewoman's carry takeover, dropkick off the second rope and Thug rolls outside to take pause. Thug back in the ring. Boot to the midsection by Thug - hung up and tied to the Tree of Woe - knee to the gut, knee, knee. Referee "Blind" Josh Milton pulls her off and they have a discussion while Gold pulls herself up and onto the top turnbuckle - crossbody! 1, 2, no! Off the ropes, Thug catches Gold in a backbreaker. Scoop...and a slam. Off the ropes, BIG splash - and Thug gets 2! Into the ropes, caught - and slammed down. Legdrop off the ropes! Thug posing to the crowd - and ANOTHER legdrop. 1, Terri pushes Thug's leg off her. Gutshot, over the shoudler into a backbreaker! Gold over the back and to the mat, rollup...2! Thug tosses Gold over the top rope to the apron...to the floor. Thug points to her tattoo again. You'd rather kiss a rattlesnake than look at that tattoo... Gold on the apron - Thug with a forearm. One more forearm to the chest - and a kick puts Gold back on the floor. Gold back up on the apron...ducking a headbutt through the ropes and Thug's momentum carries herself to the outside! Gold back in. "Terri" chant. Thug is ready to go back up the aisle and get out of here...or is she? Gold patiently waits for her to get back in the ring....and, heck, why not take an ad break while we're all waiting?
When we come back, Gold is tired of waiting - Thug is on the apron, but Terri is springing off the second rope with a dropkick! Thug is *again* on the outsdie - Gold does some Ms. Fitness moves to keep the crowd excited. Gold actually breaks the count - man, who *wouldn't* want to win by countout? Thug finally up on the apron - Gold over to bring her in the hard way! Into the ropes, reversal, big clothesline stops her in her tracks. Uranage (with wedgie) - 1, 2, Gold gets a foot on the rope! *Weak* scoop slam by Thug - there's the Thugbomb, aka the Last Call - 1, 2, foot on the rope again! Thug with a side Russian legsweep. Scoops her up...much better scoop slam by Thug. Going to the second rope for the Last Call once again - but this time landing on the knees! Gold motioning to the crowd...climbing to the top - moonsault - but NOBODY home! Both women are down and the count is on - Thug up at 3, short clothesline ducked, Gold climbing on the back to try the sleeper...Thug is fading fast - backing up into the corner and (most unfortunately) squashing Milton. Thug grabs Gold...but Gold goes behind and once again locks in the sleeper! "Terri" chant once again...hey, STONE COLD SELINA MULLET is out and she's got a trash can lid - WHACK - but she got Terri Gold!
What happened? We immediately cut to Promotional Considerations paid for by Invention Submission Corporation, Tootsie candies, and Invention Submission Corporation (again)
Next week, Jungle Grrrl is in action! Let's see her ladder splash onto Beckie - hey, there's ME in the audience! For just under two seconds!
Umm, what about that Gold/Thug match? Is that a cliffhanger? Umm...boy, how confusing. (? 3:50 + 3:38?)