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/30 January 2000

WXO Wrestling




LAST WEEK: Al Green talked, Al Green felt Dan Severn's wrath, Fred Ottman pronounced himself unslammable, Barry Darsow screamed at Mike Enos, Darsow waffled Enos with a beverage can, Adam Pearce helped the Bodies win a match with the Heartbreakers, and the WXO theme was played an awful lot

Speaking of that theme's time for the Opening Credits

It's WXO #3, airing the week of 24.1.2K! Your hosts are FAMILY-FRIENDLY CHRIS CRUISE and SWEET STAN LANE. Apparently, Mr. DiBiase is unhappy with the lack of clean finishes and the "interferences" taking place in the WXO, and something's going to be done about it...

Why, look, here's MR. DiBIASE now to directly address the situation. "I want all you guys back there in the back, sittin' around that monitor to listen up. Maybe you didn't hear me the first time I said this - the buck stops right here. I'm the CEO, I'm runnin' this show, and as long as I am (and footin' the bill), things in this organisation are gonna be done the way that I want them done. Now, Adam Pearce, you came out here, snuck out here, stuck your nose in the match, interfered, and you helped the Bodies win a match - THAT'S not gonna happen in the WXO. So, if what you wanna do is tripleteam somebody, get all together, the three of ya, well I've got a tag team for you to face - just two guys, they're my mystery team - and you're gonna face 'em right here, tonight." Wow, listen to all that crowd noise!

ADAM PEARCE & TOMMY ROGERS v. THE BODIES - strangely enough, the Bodies and Pearce are already booked tonight - guess they're going twice tonight. Lane remarks on "Body #1" almost breaking his neck last week. They STILL haven't come up with names for these guys? That's pretty family-friendly of them! Pearce starts with ... one of the Bodies. Side headlock, powered out, shoulderblock by the body, back and forth we go, up and over, ducking under, dropkick from Pearce, the Body rolls out and Pearce hits a tope. Yeah! Back in the ring, the Body goes to the face and tags out. Drop toehold into a front face, tag to Rogers - full nelson, snapmare takeover, double stomp on the face, into the corner, clothesline follow, snap suplex, floatover, 2. Lockup, side headlock takeover, head scissors counter, everybody back up. Staredown. The Body pushes Rogers, Rogers kicks back, whip into the corner is reveresed, Rogers puts up the boot, and there's a fist chop off the second rope. Tag to Pearce, they take the Body off the ropes, double back elbow, there's a shot for the man outside by Rogers as Pearce splashes the Body for 2 - count is broken up. Pearce on the second rope for the Family-Friendly Ten Punch Count Along. Holding him for another top-rope fist for Rogers. Into the corner, the Body is up and over, but stuck on the shoulder. Powerslam coming up - Rogers drops an elbow to follow up. Head to the buckle. And again. Rogers kicking away now. Tag to Pearce, sent into the ropes, big double back body drop - 2 count. Off the ropes, the other Body puts a knee in the back to turn the tide. There's a triple flip clothesline by the Body. Right hand, right, choke on the second rope with the knee across the back. Rogers is brought in to distract the unnamed (yet blind) ref. Off the ropes, Pearce ducks the first one, but not the second one. Blatant choke. Forearm, forearm, off the rope, head down, rather bad DDT but he sells it anyway - both men climb to the wrong corner - then both men make the tag. Rogers is (sort of) ON FIRE! Pearce whips one Body out of the ring, while Rogers hits what Cruise calls a Tomokaze (but it wasn't - it was more of a Death Valley Driver) - anyway, we go outside to see that yes, he's dazed - when we come back in the ring, Rogers is being pinned for 1, 2, 3. (5:57) The commentators SWEAR Pearce did something to cause his partner to be pinned, but, like WE DIDN'T SEE IT. Also it doesn't explain the nearly six minutes of trying to get the win. Well, that was kinda annoying.

Barry Darsow chooses YOU to name your own price on

Hey, that's interesting. The company marketing these NHRA videos, Diamond P Sports, is also the company putting on this here show...

The commentators are still reeling at Pearce turning on Rogers. I'm still reeling that they couldn't bother to give me a camera angle backing up that story.

Let Us Take You Back to Earlier Tonight where Ted DiBiase said some stuff

Lane says his journalistic juices are flowing - he'd like to find out who that mystery team is, so he's off to get a scoop.

MANIAC MANNY FERNANDEZ v. ERIC WATTS (with Zandig) - with Lane off to get the scoop, Cruise invites in JENNIFER HART to take the second headset. Let Us Take You Back to Last Week where Fred Ottman arrived and talked to Hart. I don't know what the point is of THAT clip, but I'm getting that feeling quite a bit tonight. Hart disses Watts' pants - oh, that's it, screw HER. Lockup, armdrag by the Maniac. Is he gonna kiss him tonight? Lockup, another armdrag by Fernandez. Cruise again tells Hart that Eric is single. Maniac gnawing on the rope. Watts with a kick, head to the buckle (no effect), again (again), elbow from Fernandez, two heads into the buckle, into the opposite corner, boot up, Watts puts him in the corner, then whips him into the other one - in the powerbomb position - then powerbombing him on the corner! Watts kicking away, then dumping him out of the ring. As he argues with the ref, Zandig delivers a snap suplex on the floor. Back in the ring, Watts takes him off the ropes - hip toss doesn't work, so Watts chokeslams him. Watts does his infamous "six shooter" bit. Into the corner, Fernandez sidesteps the charge and elbows away. He's gonna kiss the ref!! No. Anyway, Watts coming back. Off the ropes, gutshot, head taken back to the mat. Cruise called Ottman "Tugboat" there?? Maniac taken outside again, where Zandig is ready. Whip into the ringpost. Rolled back in the ring - Watts covers - 1, 2, 3. (4:16) I think the best thing about this is Cruise mentioned Watts' "Lights Out" finisher about five times, so when the time comes - WE DON'T GET IT. Watts just covers instead. Yeah, that'll sell it. The Maniac is still smiling, though, so all is well.

Let's Go to the Tokyo Egg Dome and watch JOHNNY ACE & MICHAEL BARTON v. JUN AKIYAMA & KENTA KOBASHI - at least, I *think* that's who they are - Cruise keeps pronouncing them "Kenji Okasomi" and "Mitsu Orikara" - come to think of it, didn't they win the titles back in June...and lose them in July? Come to think of it, didn't they win the titles in some other place? That's what the Great Hisa's site told me, anyway. So anyway, Ace pins..."Orikara" after just over three minutes of action - although the helpful AJPW graphics say that the match took (19:36)

WHAT THE HECK DOES WXO STAND FOR? Apparently, judging by Cruise's inability to correctly identify Japanese wrestlers, "Wildly Xenophobic Obiter dictum" (Look it up.)

"JOHNNY ACE and Mike Barton - my partner (who knocked out Doc) - are in the WXO. We made a move from the land of the rising sun to the WXO. And we are the Movement! And when we hit that ring, you're gonna FEEL the power! We want the tag team straps, and we are the Movement! Don't forget it! WXO! What's the X stand for? We don't know, and we don't care! You don't got it, get it! You don't get it - figure it out."

Man, won't Ace be surprised when he learns this organisation HAS NO BELTS?

ANTHONY ADONIS v. BILLY FIVES - Adonis (not to be confused with the Heartbreaker of the same name) attacks before the bell. Into the corner we go, Fives up and over, Mexican armdrag, legsweep, cover for 1, Adonis with a legsweep for 2, side headlock takeover, head scissors counter, both men up, round and round we go, off the ropes, shoulderblock by Adonis, off the ropes, dueling hiplocks, Fives with the flippy-flippy and there's a headscissors takeover that takes Adonis to the outside! Fives with a pescado! Take a breath! Back in the ring, Fives kicking away in the corner. Up onto Adonis - but there's a running powebromb for Adonis. Off the ropes, down on the mat as he goes over, nice dropkick. Jennifer Hart contributing NOTHING to this commentary - Lane apparently still after his scoop. Adonis poses to the crowd. Kick to the gut. Picking him up by the hair - three rights and a discus punch. Fives punching back up, Adonis pounds him down - now kicking away. Next week, we'll go to the Eggdome for "an exciting conclusion to a tag team match!" Scoop and a slam by Adonis - off the ropes with a legdrop for 2. Off the ropes we go again...reversed, floatover DDT by Adonis. Again looking for response from the crowd when he should be trying to pin him. Slugfest erupting. Adonis with a heel kick for 2. Off the ropes, sleeper applied - Fives turns into it, takes him off the ropes, and puts on a sleeper of his own. Adonis with a back suplex to break THAT up. 1, 2, no. Hart: "What now?" CRZ: "Now you SHUT UP." Elbow from Adonis, side Russian legsweep, 2 count. Snapmare takeover, Hennig-esque neck snap. Foot to the shoulderblades. Right hand. Right. Adonis kicking away in the corner now. Into the opposite corner, followup lariat. Back to the first corner, Fives ducks out, gutshot, face jam, off the ropes, dropkick, front slam...Fives going up top - big splash (or, if you're Cruise, "a version of the frog splash") for 1, 2, 3....even though he kicked out. Oh well. (5:08) Cruise wants to sleep with Hart SO BADLY. Let's play the WXO theme song! Where's Stan Lane?

BILLY PAYNE & BUTCH LONG v. THE DOMINATOR FRED OTTMAN in a Handicap match - Cruise tries that "he grew up and his car didn't" line for the fifth or sixth time tonight - it isn't any funnier than it was when Ottman himself said it last week! All I can say about THIS match is Payne has one hell of a 'fro going. Ottman sits on both men for the pin. (1:56) Now play the WXO theme!

Barry Darsow is gonna keep plugging until he stops getting paid - which should be, what, three more weeks or so?

THE BODIES & ADAM PEARCE v. ? - Lane still isn't around, but Hart is. Wheee. MR. DiBIASE has joined the commentators - and now we're gonna find out who that mystery team's THE SHANE BROTHERS, the "fans" we saw back in week one. There's our first infamous DiBiase laugh. Apparently the chant from the fans is hurting the delicate ears of the Bodies! DiBiase says "things aren't always as they appear..." what's THAT mean? It's a Shane and a Body...I'm thinking I shouldn't bother with a real blow-by-blow if they can't bother to give me some damn names. Shane with a power move. There's another one. Finally, the Body goes to the face to gain control - pounding away, hey that's an illegal choke. Off the ropes, head down, gutshot, clothesline by Shane. This match is indylicious! There's a hiptoss, Pearce breaks up the pinfall attempt. Tagging in the other Shane - double knockdown, alternating elbows, 1, 2, 3, 4, cover finally, the other Body breaks it up. Off the ropes, Shane's elbow misses, finally a tag between the Bodies. Off the ropes, biiiiig back body drop. Cover - 2, big kickout by Shane. Rake of the face, and while the ref is distracted, Pearce and the other Body work over Shane. Snapmare takeover, repeated rights from the Body. Knife-edge chop in the corner. Coming out of the corner, Shane puts the boot up and clotheslines him down. Snap suplex from the other Shane. 2 count. The Body takes control off an eyepoke, off the ropes, boot, arm wringer, countered, off the ropes, got him in position for the Samoan Drop...

...and then my VCR cut out.

So, like a good reporter, I went to the Torch to do some stealin'! Thanks to Blackjack Parsons' report and corroborated by the photos on the WXO website, I can tell you that the Shanes got the pin almost immediately after my tape stopped - Blackjack called it a "swinging Diamond Cutter," and by God, that's good enough for me. (about 4:45) Post match, the other Body and Pearce came in to put the hurt on the Shane Brothers - then TOMMY ROGERS runs out to do some work on Pearce, concluding in a superplex. One would imagine DiBiase would take umbrage at another run-in after promising that wouldn't be happening...

Finally, the unblinking eye of the WXO camera FINALLY reveals the whereabouts of Stan Lane - in a pile of plundah backstage. Who attacked Lane? Was DiBiase behind it? Was Cruise? Come back next week - and maybe find out!

Now, as far as I know, this was the last show taped from the Lakeland taping. The next shows were SUPPOSED to have been taped from Universal Studios LAST weekend, but that taping was cancelled and I haven't seen any new since then. Hey! Maybe an hour of All Japan highlights next week! That would automatically make it the best hour of the weekend, right? Har har. Anyway, if it's on, I'll probably talk about it later - RIGHT HERE!

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Copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications