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WWF Byte This! by E.C. Ostermeyer




This is the WWF Byte This! report for Friday, 16 February 2002 and I'm still E.C.

We open with a repeat of the NWO promo featuring Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Hulk ('scuse me, "Hollywood") Hogan, Josef Stalin, and a cast of thousands.

The NWO is coming! The NWO is coming!
The end is upon us!

We mean it!
Stop laughing!

Opening credits.
Ric Flair does a passable rendition of "I'm a little teapot..."

Your hosts are Kevin "Hermie" Kelly, and Howard "Fink" Finkel.

On today's show, Droz gives his predictions for No Way Out, and plugs an article he's doing in the upcoming WWF Magazine.

Tazz's got a new T-shirt out, and has spent the past week schmoozing with drunken toymakers.

Obviously feeling the aftereffects of the horrendous Tombstone Piledriver the Undertaker laid on him, we see a kinder, gentler side to the Rock.

He's busy with the "Make A Wish" folks, as well as providing fantasy incentive so one of his lady fans can pleasure herself in the privacy of her own home.

I am not kidding.

Kelly and Fink open the show by promo-ing the living daylights out of the "No Way Out" PPV. I haven't seen Kelly crawl like this since Stephanie McMahon-Helmsley took a swing at him. They especially target DirecTV subscribers, since they just got DirecTV to carry WWF PPV events again. You folks on DSL or cable modem, getcher credit cards out and sign up for the live streaming done on the website.
Man, looks like they plan to pay off that old XFL debt in one go, huh?

Kelly and Fink run the card for the PPV, featuring three (count 'em) three Main Events.
Time for "Droz's Two Cents," Darren Drozdov's weekly review of all things WWF. Droz continues to run the No Way Out card, paying particular attention to the Rob Van Dam/Goldust bout.
"I expect to see a good match out of these two," says Droz, "because their styles are so different. It'll give everybody a little bit of everything to watch, not like if they were both brawlers or both high flyers. "

Caller Steve from Michigan says that the match will be "RVD all the way."
Fink asks if Steve's from Battle Creek, RVD's "home town," but Steve says he from a suburb of Detroit, and that "Goldust is old...he's done!"
Kelly says that Goldust is only thirty years old, and characterizes Goldust as a young veteran. Fink asks if Steve's got a Magic 8-Ball on his desk.

The Edge/Regal "Brass-knucks on the pole" match gets a going over. Droz says that Edge is getting ready for a "Regal on the pole" match.
Fink asks if Edge is more aggressive and less happy-go-lucky than before.
Droz says that Edge has his sights fixed on winning the Intercontinental Title, to the exclusion of everything else.

Jeremy from Massachusetts calls in to say that Edge has got the edge in the IC Title match because "Regal bothers me with all this brass knuckles business.'

The impending arrival of the NWO gets no help from Droz. "My crystal ball is totally cloudy on this one," says Droz, "it'll definitely put a jolt in the No Way Out PPV.
Droz also plugs his upcoming article in WWF Magazine, and his weekly column over at WWFdotcom. He closes with a shot at Stephanie's troubles this week, saying that "anytime bad things happen to Stephanie is just fine with me."

Droz leaves, as Fink and Kelly shill the various venues for us fans to watch the No Way Out PPV, not the least of which is to cash in your college tuition money and watch the PPV at WWF New York.

Next up is Tazz, live from the Hook with "Tales from the Hook."
No kids in evidence this week.
Tazz mis-calls Kelly as Dr. Tom Prichard, which gets everybody a laugh.
Tazz has a lot to be miserable about:
He's one-half of the WWF Tag Team Champions
He's got a big match-up on the No Way Out PPV, and
He's got a new T-shirt coming out.

"I'm also the host of WWF Sunday Night Heat," says Tazz, "don't forget that!"
"Yep," says Fink, "you got plenty to be miserable about!"
(Chyron shows the new T-shirt. It's orange, of course.)

Tazz wants to shill for the new T-shirt some more, saying that if he doesn't he may wind up "selling them at Atlantic Ave and 88th Street with Joey Numbers."

In honor of Tazz this week, Outthink the Fink is now called Out-Dazz Tazz!"
"Oh my God!" growls Tazz.

You can win a brand new Tazz T-shirt if you can answer:
Tazz is a three-time ECW Tag Champ. Who were his tag partners?

His buddy Bobby Barucci already has the T-shirt, as well as "No Way Out" on tape and is selling it out of the back of his Impala up in Canarsie. ("Lord of the Rings" tapes are going for five bucks a pop, and that new Star Wars Episode II, "Send in the Clones" can be had for twenty. Pre-release, y'know.)

Fink wants to know how Tazz made out schmoozing at the big Toy Fair?

"I got ripped," says Tazz disgustedly, "Me and Kurt (Angle) were looking to schmooze a lot, get some action figures out and on the shelves, but all these toy buyers were all hammered. As in drunk. It was just broads handling drunks all evening, with nothing getting done. I tried to work the room, but nothing came of it. All drunk. Nobody cared. Nobody tried to put themselves over."

Kelly asks if Tazz has seen Michael Cole get drunk?
"He may be a bitter little man," says Kelly, "but he can sure pound down the shooters."
"Yeah," says Tazz, "but he's not an alcoholic because he doesn't go to the meetings!"

Caller Dawn from California wants to know if Tazz will wait to see which opponents he and Spike Dudley attack during the Tag Turmoil?
Tazz informs he that he and Spike are not in the Tag Turmoil.
"I'm hoping Test and Booker lose, is what I'm hoping," says Tazz. He also adds that the Hardys look to be the favorites for winning the Tag Turmoil at No Way Out.

Tazz relates how difficult his match with Booker T was on Monday's Raw due to the slippery footing. This was as a result of the skit Chris Jericho did pouring beer on a beat-up Steve Austin.
"Fans don't know how easy it is to blow out a knee if you slip while trying to do a move," say Tazz, "because of this, all four of us worked the match slower to make sure nobody got hurt. Slipping in the ring sucks. But THINKING about slipping in the ring just messes everything and everybody up. If you can't keep your feet and you are working gingerly, that's when somebody gets hurt!"

Tazz wants to speak on "Tough Enough 2" but we get a caller, Brian from California, who wants to know if Tazz would be a "little scared if Billy and Chuck win the Tag Turmoil match? Say if they try to get you in a suplex, or use a weighted box of chocolates on you?"
"Well," says Tazz, "I wouldn't let them do any go-behinds, and I'd make sure I stocked up on the condoms (!) As for Billy and Chuck, they are impressive-looking, until they start acting weird!"

Somebody in the ChatRoom says they sent Tazz's friend Tommy Tickets money for No Way Out tickets, and hasn't gotten them yet.
"Doanworryabaddit," says Tazz, "I know the guy, uh, uh..."
"Isn't he in Tempe visiting Joey Numbers?" asks Fink.
"Nah, nah" says Tazz, recovering quickly, "he's in Asia setting up the WWF Asia tour. He's hangin' out with the oriental broads. He likes it sideways..." which convulses Fink and Kelly.

Kelly changes the subject to Stephanie being the special referee in HHH's match at No Way Out.
"And Fink had the news," says Tazz, "but Vince wasn't listening, was he?"
"Fink was gonna stooge off HHH," says Kelly, "he's the biggest stooge in the WWF's history..."
"Maybe it's blind loyalty," Says Fink loftily, "but I always tried to be a good soldier."
"He's a reprobate!" says Kelly.
"Hunter figuring the Wedding out," says Tazz, "and then giving Vince the Pedigree, that just rocked the building. Then, with the closing shot of an enraged Stephanie and Hunter, it was produced well, both those kids did a great job. Now she's refereeing HHH and Kurt Angle? Aw, HHH is in trouble! He's divorcing the referee, for cryin' out loud!"

"How about having the referees all dress like Jackie?" laughs Kelly.
"I think Mike Chioda does when he's at home," says Tazz.

Tazz leaves the show after plugging the "Tough Enough 2" and Fink says that the folks in Green Bay, Wisconsin will have a chance to see Tazz live tomorrow, at the Brown County Expo Center.
"Fans, please buy my merchandise and T-shirts," says Tazz, "I'm sending my kid through college. And gimme a big pop when I come out, okay?"

Tazz leaves the show, and Kelly sets up the NWO at No Way Out, with a reminder of the formation of the NWO at WCW's 1996 "Bash at the Beach," where Hulk Hogan joined the Outsiders to become the New World Order.

We get a film clip of that event, with play-by-play announce Tony Schiavone trying without much success to keep up with Dusty Rhodes announcing skills, and Bobby "The Brain" Heenan's showmanship.
Jeez, I miss Rhodes and Heenan!

A ChatRoom comment after the clip states flatly that no turn or swerve in the history of professional wrestling will ever match the one Hogan, Hall, and Nash pulled on us at "Bash at the Beach."

"A truly memorable moment," says Fink.
"Y'know," says Kelly, "Memorial Day 1996, Scott Hall came out and said he was bringing friends to take over WCW, and five years later Shane McMahon buys a virtually bankrupt WCW for pennies on the dollar. How long will it take them to impact the WWF's business?"

Another plug for No Way Out, this time dealing with the Stephanie/HHH deal, and how it will play out.

Kelly says that Austin's promo about being a drug addict, and that the WWF Unified Title is his drug of choice, was well done. Fink says that people are selling Chris Jericho short if they think he's going to lose the Title that easily, that he's not really the Undisputed Champ.
"Every time Jericho's been up against some tremendous handicap," says Fink, "he's always risen to the occasion and defended the Title. Don't write the obit notice before the death happens, folks!"

ChatRoom says that the NWO won't kill the WWF, and that the Undertaker will be on a mission to destroy the NWO, lots of speculation as to who will take what side in the upcoming struggle.
Kelly segues this nicely to 'Taker's quest for respect from the Rock, dovetailing it with Maven's eliminating the Undertaker at the Royal Rumble, and Rock's interference which cost 'Taker the Hardcore Title at Smackdown last week.

Fink says that the Undertaker is still cheered by the fans. This, despite his actions against the Rock and Maven. "Taker doesn't give a damn anymore," says Fink.

Kelly gives a caveat to parents about what is going to be shown next, which is the video from Raw where 'Taker nails Rock backstage, with a chokeslam onto the hood of the limo.
"And, just when you thought it couldn't get any worse for the Rock..." says Kelly, as 'Taker does the grand finale Tombstone Piledriver on the roof of the limo. Ouch!

"Wow," says Kelly in a shaken voice, "that's one of the most violent things I've ever seen in my life!"
"The Undertaker knows what he wants, " says Fink, "he's cold, methodical, calculating, and it will be interesting to see what the Rock has planned for him at No Way Out."

Nobody's guessed the Out-Dazz Tazz question, so Kelly and Fink say that two of the teammates were Sabu and Kevin Sullivan. The third, according to Kelly, is a WWF Hall of Famer.

"It would be a shame," says Fink, "if we don't get a winner this week."

While waiting for the Rock to arrive, we get a repeat of the NWO interfered-with "Desire" piece from Smackdown.
"You have to see this," says Kelly, "the shameful acts the NWO did on this piece of WWF history."
"The word 'gratitude' is right out the door, Kev," says Fink. "This act on their part takes the cake."
"It's like making the American Taliban John Walker a policeman," says Kelly, "that's how desperate Mr. McMahon is in all this."
"I never thought I'd see the day Mr. Hogan would enter the WWF again," says Fink, "let alone under these circumstances. We may remember him as Hulk Hogan, the goose that laid the golden egg back in the 80's and 90's, again, where's the gratitude, the appreciation. 'Hollywood' Hogan? It just doesn't ring true, in my opinion. We will just have to live with it."
"Yeah," says Kelly, "and live with all the backstage antics that, unfortunately, you fans will never get to see. Like January 4th, 1999, when Kevin Nash "took a dive" so Hogan would win the Title without having to wrestle. Shameful. Just shameful!
"After that, there was no doubt in my mind which company would win the ratings wars, and which one would end up on the scrap heap. March, 2001, Shane McMahon sneaks in and buys the bankrupt WCW from under his father's nose. Just five years later! And all because of what the NWO did."
"How ironic that this Sunday's PPV is "N"-o, "W"-ay, "O"-ut!" says Fink.

Richard, a caller from Toronto Canada, wants to know how Kelly and Fink will react when the NWO arrive on the scene.
"I'll say right now that I would run away," says Kelly, "physically, I can't hang with these guys, even though I don't appreciate or like what they are going to do. You're a Canadian native right? What about the history the NWO has of keeping Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho down? They were the reason Benoit and Jericho left WCW for the WWF. Those three men were responsible for taking the value of a multi-million dollar company and driving it so far down, that one man was able to slide in and buy it for next to nothing. It was all due to those three, their cronies, the backstage machinations, and deal making, that drove the value of that company down into the gutter. The WWF was able to sign Jericho and the Radicalz because of the actions of Hogan, Hall, and Nash."

"If they did that to WCW," asks Richard, "what's gonna happen now?"
"Exactly!" says Kelly, really getting worked up. "Mr. McMahon opened the floodgates. The water's around our ankles now. Soon it'll be over our heads, and we are all gonna drown. Unless something drastic happens! It's easy to say that the WWF wins every fight it has been in. But who would have thought those three men, almost on their own, could bring down a giant corporation like WCW?"
"Hand down," says Fink, "this is our toughest fight yet!"

"Vince McMahon beat the federal government," say Kelly, "he beat the media conglomerate, Time Warner. But who would have ever believed that he would bring about the destruction of his own creation, especially after he's fought so long and hard to make it succeed? Who better than Vince McMahon to destroy his own company? Nobody else could defeat him. He had to do it to himself!"

While Kelly's been on this little soliloquy of his, Byte This! producer Big Country sees fit to hang up on Richard. Kelly takes the opportunity to lambaste BC's production skills and phone manners.

Fink interrupts Kelly's little tirade to announce that they have a winner in "Out-Dazz Tazz." It's Hal Dworkis (sp?) of the Bronx, NY who guessed Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka correctly.

Kelly's guesses were the Iron Sheik and Captain Lou Albano.
Just shameless, isn't he?

Kelly tells Byte This! trainee Seth Mates to put a pic of the T-shirt on the chyron, and sells it with an annoying Jerry Seinfeld voice.

More selling the PPV, this time with DirecTV and live audio and video streaming on the 'Net, and what a treat if you are a DSL subscriber.

More blather for the next five minutes, including some WWF corporate jokes that fall flat as can be.

Caller Julio from Anaheim, California is NOT down by the schoolyard as Fink would have it, and rather pointedly says so. Julio wants to know if the No Way Out and NWO letters are a coincidence?
Kelly says yes, but No Way Out began in 1998, when Creative Services came up with the name.
"It is the ultimate in coincidences," says Kelly, "we changed from the "In Your House" series to having twelve named PPV's a year to compete with what WCW was offering. We are laughing now because we are seeing NWO highlights on our broadcasts, when we used to laugh about people saying we were stealing WCW's thunder with subliminal tricks like the No Way Out/NWO coincidence."

Julio postulates that the WWF knew back last fall that the NWO were coming in, and timed their return for this particular PPV, which sounds VERY plausible.
Kelly pooh-pooh's that, saying Kevin Nash was contractually obligated up until recently.
(Which means nothing, as Nash could have been in talks even though he was under contract to Time Warner.)
"So Vince, didn't say hey, let's use the February No Way Out PPV to bring him back, hah?" says Julio.
"Absolutely not! No way!" says Kelly, who then changes the subject to the HHH/Stephanie business.

Julio obliges by saying that Kurt Angle's got a connection from back when Stephanie had a crush on him (and I thought it was the other way 'round, guys?)
Julio agrees that it's Jericho's time still, and that Austin is done, at least for now.
"He's a heel champion that slides into the win by the skin of his teeth," says Julio.

The Rock's on his way to a phone, so Kelly and Fink badger Big Country about saying the "F" word on air, at one hour and thirty-three minutes into last week's show.
BC stoutly maintains that the studio audience didn't hear anything of the sort, and that Kelly and Fink had better check their sources again.
Kelly wants to know if BC will apologize to the fans?
"By no means," says BC, "because I have nothing to apologize about. Although the fans are lucky I don't do it (on air) more often, because I'd like to do it all the time!"
"Foul-mouth!" says Kelly.
"Yeah," says BC, "but this week's show is a vast improvement over last week's!"

ChatRoomer Kevin Lowry wants to know if BC's mom will be at WWF NY for No Way Out?
"No," says BC, exasperated that the topic of his mom has been brought up once again, "she's at my house in Kansas City."
"Signing autographs?" asks Kelly.
"No, she's not!" says BC. "she is NOT famous, and that's the way she wants it."
"Have the kids in the neighborhood picked up on that, yet?" wheedles Kelly.
"None of the kids in her neighborhood watch Byte This!" says BC.
"No computers in Kansas City, hah?" says Fink.
"Attention, Kansas Citians," says Kelly, "the Internet is now on computer!"

Fink suggests that BC stick a crowbar in that wallet of his, buy a ticket for his mom and fly her to Wrestlemania in Toronto.
BC tells Fink to mind his own business.
"Are you going to be at Wrestlemania, Kev?" asks BC.
"Why, yes," says Kelly.
"Like I'd want my mother anywhere NEAR you two!" says BC, "especially you, Kev! "Your mom's hot! Your mom's hot!" Stupidest thing I ever heard of!"
"I'm trying to put your mom over," says Kelly, "She's hot!"
"Stop it!"
"You deleted the photos and you threatened Seth!" accuses Kelly.
"She could meet the fans and the stars at Axxess!' says Kelly, "wouldn't that be great?"


On and on and on...

Now Kelly's on about Byte This! techie Chris Vallo's foot fetish.
It apparently involves track shoes.

This is what passes for "filler," folks.

We pick up the action some five wasted minutes later.
Kelly's going on about how the critics are trashing "Rollerball."
We get the obligatory Paul Heyman "Skullet" on the chyron.
Paul's in the movie, along with Shane McMahon, according to the trailers.

(BTW, Turner Classic Movies ran the original "Rollerball" from 1979 with James Caan recently. It's a cult flick now, still hokey as hell, but the game has possibilities if they can jack up the violence, tone down the preachy 70's anti-corporate nonsense, and let the Germans run the whole show.)

Libby, a caller from Manhattan, NY wants to know what the Rock's wearing? She says that she fantasizes about the Rock when she pleasured herself last Valentine's Day.

This intrigues Kelly.
Are you surprised?

Kelly asks Libby if the WWF got her tickets to the opening of "Scorpion King" would she pleasure herself in the middle of the theater when the show was on?
"I dunno," says Libby, "I don't want to pull a 'Pee Wee Herman'..."
"That's the risk you gotta take," says Kelly.

(Fink's got his head in his hands, shaking it.)

"I probably wouldn't need much encouragement, though..." says Libby.
"We would need documentation," says Kelly, "we would need to send our announcer-in-training Seth Mates to document the action. And keep the law away!""
"How about if you send me the tickets," says Libby, "and I send you back the stubs? Stuck together?"

As we leave this scene, Kelly's trying to guess Libby's weight, and she volunteers her age, thirty-three.

A ChatRoomer says BC's mom is Domino's.
"One call does it all!"
"We are bombing SO bad right now," says Fink.

Caller Hunter from Charlotte, NC says that the NWO will obliterate everybody, with the Undertaker and other disaffecteds joining up. But the WWF will win out in the end.
"So you are looking forward to it, are you?" asks Kelly.

Finally, the Rock shows up.

He's recovering nicely, thank you, from the Tombstoning at the hands of the Undertaker, and he should be able to make it to No Way Out.
"I had no idea it would hurt that much," says the Rock.

(If you watch the tape, you'll notice 'Taker check on Rock just after the deed is done to see if he's all right. These men are pros, kids, and for God's sake, don't try this at home! This applies to you adults, too. You should know better!)

The Rock concludes this segment in full kayfabe mode by quoting that old WWF saying, "paybacks are a bitch!" and that 'Taker's got a bill due.

More on the Rock's movie career. He's just finished ("wrapped") on "The Scorpion King."
The extra scenes and photography have really boosted the movie into the realm of spectacle. It should be a knockout!
"What I'm proudest of is that the movie will entertain. It's what I strive for in the WWF, so why shouldn't I do the same in the movies I'm in?" says the Rock.

Kelly says that the movie's tentative release date will put it into competition with the re-release of "ET."
"Will that cause problems, and add pressure to what you are already feeling?"
"Not in the least," says the Rock, "I've felt pressure throughout my life and career, and I can handle it. I am excited, though, because I've seen the product, and it's a winner. I'm more excited than pressured."

Fink wants to know if the movie has taught him anything that will help his career in the WWF.
"It's helped make a better performer," says the Rock, I try to move people emotionally, like that promo I did with the Undertaker."

Kelly drops the fish hook, and asks Rock about his thoughts on the imminent arrival of the NWO.
"I see it as being of great potential for change and growth within the company," says the Rock. "We've got four hours of TV every week, and we are always looking to improve things here. Others see the NWO as disruption and destruction. I see it as three more guys for the Rock to mix it up with! I was on the phone just now with Vince McMahon, and he was talking Rock versus Hogan! Icon v. Icon! You can't get any better than that! I got an idea of what I'll be doing next month at Wrestlemania!"

Kelly relates to the Rock the previous conversation with Caller Libby, and how they're gonna buy her tickets to "The Scorpion King," so she can pleasure herself right in the movie theater when the Rock's on the screen.
"It should be a very pleasant thing for her, and for you, Rock," say Kelly.
"I'm sure it will, " says the Rock, going along with the gag. "and for the audience around her in the movie theater as well."
Kelly reconnects Libby to the Rock. The Rock says he's heard the news, and "I'm glad I could be there for you!"
This cracks up Kelly and Fink.
"No candy? No flowers?"
"Hey," says the Rock, "Libby don't mess around!"
"That's right!' says Libby.
Kelly wants to know where the, ummm, "incident" happened?
"Only the classiest of questions from you, huh, Kevin?" says the Rock.
Fink says that Libby gets to ask her one question for the Rock.
"What are you wearing, Rock?" asks Libby.
"White tank top, little black profetos,(sp?) white stripe down the side, Nike Kicks goin' on, big smile on my face," says the Rock, "the usual."
Kelly says Libby should hang on because BC will get her info about the tickets.

The next caller, Eric from Maine, writes for a 'Net wrestling column. He wants to know how the Rock manages his movie career and his wrestling? Also, Eric thinks that 'Taker's not smelling what the Rock is cooking.
The Rock says that he's missed wrestling these past months what with the work he's done on "The Scorpion King." Though he's only missed a couple of TV appearances, it has affected his wrestling schedule and training. When you burn the candle at both ends like I've been doing," he says, "it burns out quickly. Fortunately, the fans know how busy I've been, and they are very savvy and understanding. They know if the Rock leaves for another movie, he's making it to entertain them, and they'll wait until he gets back.

As for 'Taker, he'll smell what's cooking for sure this Sunday.

Andy from Michigan wants to know about HHH's return, and as a fan favorite?
The Rock says that it's great to see HHH back from so terrible an injury, and the fans know what he went through to heal up and get ready, so they and the Rock give him the credit for that. He's a different style of babyface from the Rock. HHH has one speed he runs at, constant and unstoppable. The Rock hopes HHH will have a long career ahead of him.
Kelly asks how Rock would handle a career-stopping injury?
"I don't think about a career-stopper," says the Rock, "I just go out there and wrestle my style and hope I don't get injured. I protect my body as best I can inside the ring, I trust the guys I'm in there with, and they trust me. I train differently than I would when I was in football. I use football philosophies I've learned and adapted them to my wrestling training, and I really use what charisma I've been given. I work on the physical and charismatic nuances, and try to capitalize on both of them."

Ryan from Illinois wants to know Rock's thoughts on Hall and Nash.
"I'm looking forward to working with them," says the Rock, "as much as I was looking forward to working with the whole WCW roster. Sometimes, however, what looks good on paper, doesn't always look good in the ring, but you try it out anyway, because that's the only way to be sure if the chemistry's there, if something's gonna work. As far as them being around the locker room, everybody's heard the stories, it's really no secret. But this is a different locker room than was here ten years ago. It's policed differently, and there are guys here who will be quick to put a foot up your ass if you mess around. I can take comfort in that. So I'm cool, and they are cool. It's all about business and box office, isn't it?"

Kelly remarks that the Rock will be making the Asian tour with the WWF, and perhaps getting the opportunity to find his Asian heritage.
"I can't wait," says the Rock, "I've never been to Japan, Singapore, or Malaysia. The entire country of Malaysia can't wait to see the WWF. It's going to be interesting to hear the "Rocky! Rocky!" chant in Malay and Japanese. It'll also give me a chance to check out the kinds of pie they have over there, too!"

"Tazz was talking about the different slant they take over there..."begins Kelly.
"Don't let Tazz fool you," says Rock, "he doesn't know about pie! He's strictly a strudel man. He knows that strudel very well. Don't let that rough exterior fool you!"

Dawn from Illinois wants to know what kind of fan encounters the Rock considers special?
"I'm active with the "Make A Wish" folks," says the Rock, "they work with terminally ill kids. These kids know they are not going to make it. It just crushes me every time I meet them, and I meet them on a weekly basis. They embody what the human spirit should be. They are the heroes. It amazes me, the courage they show! If you think the Rock is strong, they are a heckuva lot stronger. These are kids who know they are leaving, and soon, but they are telling the world every day, "Just bring it!"

Fink says that he's noticed that the Rock interacts well with the announcers.
"It's very important," says the Rock.
"Calling Kevin Kelly "Hermie," continues Fink, "or the Barry Manilow skit with Jonathan Coachman. Does that come out of your head, or do you talk it over with the announcers beforehand? I know that Coach now sings Barry Manilow when he works out..."
"No, " laughs the Rock, "I get creative feedback from these guys, especially Kevin Kelly. It's so important to be self-deprecating in this business, to not take yourself seriously, and do it in an entertaining way. I always try to wink at people, to let them know that they're in on the joke, too. That interaction with the fans is important. I'll have fun with the cameraman, and take his camera, or the boom mic. guy, and of course, the announcer. In our business, guys get out there and start talking. I take it one step and then ten steps further than most. We will have fun with it, but you'll never see me laugh; I'll always be in control, and go right back to being serious. I love doing all this stuff. It's great!"

Kelly winds the segment up by thanking the Rock for coming on the show.
"Any time," says the Rock, "only stop calling me collect, ya cheap bastards!"

Not surprisingly, Kelly and Fink both shove the blame for the collect calls onto Big Country.

"Jeez," says the Rock, "and you make millions..."
"You'll have to meet BC's mom sometime," says Fink.
"Bullshi- oops, can I say that?" asks the Rock.
"You just did," says Kelly with a laugh, "put a quarter in the jar for that one!"

Fink gets in the Upcoming Events Calendar shill:
2/16 - Green Bay, WI
2/17 - Milwaukee, WI (No Way Out PPV) is a sell-out.
2/18 - Chicago, IL (WWF Raw)
2/19 - Rockford, IL (WWF Smackdown taping)
2/23 - Buffalo, NY
2/24 - Manchester, NH
2/25 - Providence, RI (WWF Raw at the Dunkin' Donuts Center)

(Fink wants to know when Houston's gonna rename the "Enron Dome" the "Krispy Kreme Dome?")
2/26 - Fleet Center (WWF Smackdown taping)

Kelly and Fink shill for No Way Out once more.
Fink says Kelly's been working too hard, and that he needs some time off the show for next week.
Kelly retorts that they know good and well that he'll be in Cincinnati for the WWF talent tryouts next Friday.

Jonathan Coachman joins the team on camera; he's Kelly's replacement for next week's show.
Kelly's heard that Jackie is scheduled to be on WWF Excess this week.
Coach says that anytime you get Jackie and Terri on the same set, things get a bit "crowded."
Coach is also feeling under the weather from the pop he took from William Regal on Smackdown.
"I didn't see it coming," says Coach, "good thing Edge was there to bail me out."

Next week's special guest is tentatively scheduled to be Goldust.
Fink wants BC to find five of the "Most Embarrassing Coach Moments" for next week's Classic Clips poll.
"It'll be tough to narrow the selection down to just five," say Coach...

Goldust is tentatively scheduled to be next week's Special Guest.

They close the show with the 1999 "St. Valentine's Day Massacre" PPV, the Austin/Vince McMahon Steel Cage match, where Paul "Big Show" Wight first arrived in the WWF.

Hey, wasn't he in the NWO at one time?
Hmmmm. I think we just found the first recruit for the new NWO, hah?

See you then, and remember:

411wrestling's T-shirt is way cool, and cheap, too.
So go buy one.
Heck, by several, they make great gifts, and could help you gain some sort of fashion sense.
Lord knows, you sure need one!

E.C. Ostermeyer
[slash] wrestling

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