You are here
WWF Byte This! by E.C. Ostermeyer




This is the WWF Byte This report for Friday, 12 April 2002, and I'm E.C. I am still waiting for the WWF to archive last week's show so that I can recap it for you, my gentle readers. Apparently, there continues to be some "Technical Difficulties," which will be addressed at the end of today's show

Prior to the (updated)

Opening Credits,

We get a video of Stacy Keibler being VERY successful in her job interview as MR. McMahon's personal assistant.

As Larry Zybzsko once said

"That girl is ninety percent leg!"


Your hosts are Kevin Kelly and Dr. Tom Prichard. WWF Byte This! producer Big Country is standing by in case things "get out of hand again this week."

We get some inconsequential blather from Kelly about Vince's hiring practices, and it's time for "Droz's Two Cents," Darren Drozdov's weekly review of all things WWF.

Droz has a birthday coming up, and everybody wishes him a Happy Birthday.

Topic One is the Main Event at Backlash, where Champ HHH will defend his brand new belt from Hulk Hogan, whose career's risen from the dead more times than Dracula.

Dr. Tom says that Hogan's getting the maximum push right now because the fans are demanding it.

Droz says that HHH isn't going to give the Title up without a fight.

Kelly recalls the 1997 Title bout between Sid and Shawn Michaels where Michaels let the crowd get to him.

Droz says that HHH should remember that and concentrate on the task at handm, defending the Unified Title.

Eddie Guerrero's return to the WWF is the next topic.

Dr. Tom says Eddie's stronger than he's ever been.

"Eddie looks great and feels great," says Dr. Tom, who then asks Droz how this is gonna wear on Rob Van Dam?

Droz says that the Eddie/RVD match should be the Match of the Show for Backlash, and that Eddie's got the advantage because RVD hasn't seen him in action.

Albert's New Look shocked Droz.

"I didn't even know he had skin on under that shirt," says Droz, "I was surprised somebody didn't shoot him for an escaped bear! With Rikishi in the picture helping Scotty Too Hotty, we've got an interesting matchup."

The Byte This! Chatroom is just bubbling over about how good -looking Stacy Keibler was in today's show opener.

After some suggestive comments about Stacy, Kelly thanks Droz, who leaves the show.

Dan from Chicago, a regular caller, says he's heartbroken for Jessee on Tough Enough 2 last night.

"Jessee thinks this is tough?" says Dr. Tom," She has no idea how tough it can get."

Kelly rags on Jessee about not making it all the way through the show, and how her place could have been better filled with another, more committed contestant.

The talk shifts to the "Wild Night" the contestants had, and how the Tough Enough trainers corrected their bad behavior.

Dan says that the first Tough Enough crew showed more class than this bunch.

Kelly says that the competition will heat up a lot as the contestant's roster begins to shrink.

Dr. Tom says that he was glad Bob Holly got tough with the trainees, especially all that stuff about how he won't let them spoil his workplace. "Bob got the point across, all right!"

Sweet Fanny Adams, here's Ronnie from Tennessee calling in.

Ronnie tells the guys his favorite Tennessee wrestler was "Boogie Woogie Man" Jimmy Valiant, and that the Dudleys were the greatest tag team champs ever in the WWF and ECW.

Dr. Tom asks if Ronnie ever met Ron and Don Wright?

Ronnie says he saw them over in Johnson City a while back.

Ronnie's got an issue with Dwight Yoakum about something that happened in 1988. Kelly fixates on this to the point that Mr. Yoakum might consider taking out a restraining order.

On Kelly, not Ronnie

Kelly wants to know if Ronnie is going to go see the Scorpion King?

Ronnie says he'd rather go see "Jason X."

"Ah lahks them thar skeery movies, ah duz," says Ronnie, and Dr. Tom just about loses it.

Tazz shows up and Kelly leaves Ronnie on the phone with Tazz.

Tazz gets the ground rules out of the way right up front.

"I'm the star, Ronnie," says Tazz, "and you're not. Let me talk first, okay?"

Ronnie is running for governor of Tennessee, according to Kelly.

Ronnie knows nothing about it, but before he can pursue the matter he gets run off the show before he has time to say three words in a row.

Tazz indulges us with some cogent and very descriptive comments about the view he had during Vince's "interview" with Stacy Keibler.

Tazz reviews the new breakout WWF stars, mentioning Smackdown's Albert, Edge, Bob Holly, Al Snow, and Maven. On the Raw promotion, Tazz picks Booker T, Rob Van Dam, and Bubba Ray Dudley.

Tazz has special compliments for D'Vonn Dudley's new psycho preacher persona.

Kelly comments about Tazz's new "Sopranos" fashion statement. He also says that Smackdown co-host Michael Cole has been looking like the Professor on Gilligan's Island.

How about some interesting comments about "Twister" Rodriguez and the amazing double-jointed date Tazz spent with her in the back seat of his Buick? Thought so.

Mike from Edmonton wants to know who Tazz likes to mix it up with?

Tazz says that he's more interested in doing commentary right now than wrestling. "My career's moving on right now," says Tazz, "so I'm concentrating on that to the exclusion of everything else."

We get some whining about the new 7-Eleven Slurpee cup deal. This could be due to the stack of 7-Eleven cups all over the set for blatant product placement.

Tazz wants a 7-Eleven commercial like Rob Van Dam got.

Tazz says that his personal Slurpee flavor is Orange Cracker. It'll be out real soon.

Somebody from the Chatroom wants to know what a "RocketBuster' is?

Tazz says it could mean a "donnybrook, or a slick move, or a good looking girl, or Spike Dudley winning the European Title, or anything you want. It's a gimmick phrase is all."

Then chatroom wants to see Kelly kick Dr. Tom's ass.

"Ain't gonna happen" says Dr. Tom, and Kelly agrees.

Talk shifts to the rebuilding of the WWF Tag division, and also the reappearance of the heel manager in the form of Rico (Constantino) and Paul Heyman.

Tazz says that Rico sat him down and gave him a lesson in fashion sense.

"Sat you down, hah?" asks Dr. Tom.

Robert in the Chatroom wants to know if Joey Numbers was placing bets on who would be Vince's personal assistant?

Tazz says yes, and that Joey made a pot of cash on that one.

Humongous in the Chatroom says that Tazz's new flavor should be called "Tazz-erine."

Tazz has to go, and Dr. Tom says that we will get another episode of "Tales from the Hook" next week.

We take a break with a video of Bubba Ray Dudley winning the WWF Hardcore Title in a wild match from Raven. I almost had an ECW flashback for a moment there.

Bubba Ray's not on the phone yet, so we go back to the phones.

Dustin from Omaha discusses Brock Lesnar, and the name Lance Cade gets bandied about. Dr. Tom says that Lesnar's being mentioned in the same sentence as Bill Goldberg now.

Bubba Ray finally gets through, via a pay phone in the Amarillo, TX airport.

Kelly and Dr. Tom are delighted to have Bubba Ray on the show.

Bubba Ray says that it sucks not being teamed with D'Vonn, but he says that they both are making the best of a bad situation.

Kelly compliments Bubba Ray on his many talents, juggling, dancing, beating opponents' heads in with a "Stop" sign.

Dr. Tom asks Bubba Ray about their last tag match with the APA at the Continental Arena in New Jersey?

Bubba Ray says that he and D'Vonn owed a great debt to Ron and John, as well as Arm Anderson and the hardys who paid tribute to them both after the match.

About the WWF Tag division, Bubba Ray says that the Tag Division is weak for the moment, being composed of Hardys and Billy & Chuck.

"You just can't throw two wrestlers together and call them a tag team," says Bubba Ray, "it takes a long time for them to work as a unit."

Bubba Ray also compliments D'Vonn's new religious persona, and that he will have no problem succeeding by himself. "He's a venomous, demonic preacher kinda guy right now."

Kelly asks Bubba Ray to comment on today's Hardcore versus ECW's Hardcore?

Bubba Ray says he wants to bring back the prestige that the Hardcore Title has lost over the years.

On the phone, Anthony wants to know if Bubba Ray will tag with his brother Spike, since he can't tag with D'Vonn anymore.

Bubba Ray says that Spike is not D'Vonn, so, even though Spike is a good wrestler, teaming up with Spike would be a step down from tagging with D'Vonn.

Dr. Tom asks Bubba Ray about Brock Lesnar's debut?

Bubba Ray sees great things for Lesnar, though he has to work on his speaking skills. "But if you can't talk just yet," says Bubba Ray, "who better to have as a mouthpiece than Paul Heyman?"

Kelly asks what it's like working a show with half the roster gone?

Bubba Ray says that the locker room is empty enough to echo now, but it's great to see more of the wrestlers getting a chance.

"We ran into guys from the Smackdown roster at the airport last week," says Bubba Ray, "and it was like we hadn't seen them in years."

Melanie from WVA wants to know if Bubba Ray ever considered being an actor?

Bubba Ray says his true personality hasn't come out in the WWF like it had in ECW, though he plans on developing it further. Maybe acting is in his future, but he's got other things to do right now.

A question about winning the Hardcore Title from Raven gets Bubba Ray very enthusiastic about Raven's wrestling skills, especially the Hardcore innovations Raven made.

Charlie from Florida wants to know Bubba's opinion of the Hardy Boys?

"Matt has a great mind for wrestling, while Jeff is the daredevil," says Bubba Ray, "and they went toe to toe with the Dudley Boyz every time we climbed in the ring with them."

Kelly wants to know what it's like being in singles matches coming from a tag background?

Bubba Ray says he has to do more gym work, upping his cardio, because he can't tag out now, he has to go the limit.

"I want to make sure my singles career will last as long as it possibly can," says Bubba Ray. "Tagging for so long, I never thought about singles matches until now. But now that D'Vonn and I are in it, we are gonna be the best singles we can be. Then, when we get back together, if we get back together, we will be an awesome tag team."

On the subject of dancing, Bubba Ray learned how from his Mom when he was ten years old. The juggling ability came later.

Bubba Ray's favorite match has to be TLC2 .

"It was a flawless twenty minutes," says Bubba Ray, "one of the highlights of the Dudley Boyz' career."

Bubba Ray describes Byte This! producer Big Country as "a six foot five pile of Jell-o. We are gonna go around and aroundwhen I see him the next time."

Shawn from Alabama wants to know about Kane's character development and coming out.

"I think Kane has come through with flying colors," says Bubba Ray, "I told him 'Boy,. you are in for it now! You'll be doing non-stop promos because they found out you can talk.' This is a whole new side of a character that the fans have known for a long time, but only because he was covered up with a body suit and a mask."

Some nasty comments about Missy Hyatt ensue. Bubba Ray is disappointed that he "never go to ride on the Merry-Go-Round," which gets a big laugh for everybody.

Jerry from New Jersey praises Bubba Ray for the great things he did for the APA at the Continental Arena house show.

Bubba Ray says that they got respect for the APA, in spite of being ECW alumni, and having to live down the record of The Public Enemy. "They blew their chance in the WWF despite having great credentials from ECW, says Bubba Ray, "We have nothing but respect for the APA, and the gifts we presented to them after the match were as close to "Thanks" between two tag teams as you'll ever see!"

Dr. Tom compliments Bubba Ray on his tag career and his budding singles career. Bubba Ray thanks Dr. Tom for his kind comments.

Bubba Ray's segment closes out, with Bubba Ray demanding that D'Vonn be booked on the show as soon as possible.

The show ends with Kelly and Big Country explaining about the continued problems they had with the audio and video from last week's Byte This show with Hulk Hogan, and how Byte This techie Chris Vallo is still busy trying to get it strung back together.

Next week's guest will be the Undertaker.

We close the show with a video of Bubba Ray Dudley, Dancin' Machine.

The look on Booker T's face is just priceless!

See you next week.

E.C. Ostermeyer
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author

Comment about this article in Wienerville



Design copyright © 1999-2002 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright © 2002 by the individual author and used with permission