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WWF Byte This! by E.C. Ostermeyer




This is the WWE Byte This! report for Friday, 13 September 2002, and I'm still E.C.

We get no video intro prior to the
Opening credits,
But the sound level is way, way down.

After they get the sound level properly adjusted, our hosts Kevin Kelly and Dr. Tom Prichard want to know if Chris Nowinski likes Molly Holly, umm, "That Way?" More importantly, if Molly likes Chris Nowinski?

But first, a recap by the hosts of last night's "Commitment Ceremony Gone Bad" on Smackdown.
Dr. Tom says that he's delighted that the whole "wedding" skit of Billy & Chuck was just something cooked up between Rico and WWE Raw General Manager Eric Bischoff.
Kelly says that Bischoff has been at the very center of controversy lately, especially after he opened the week promising "Hot Lesbian Action" on Raw, thereby setting off the "political correctness" alarms at TNN, CBS and Viacom all at the same time.
Dr. Tom says that this was done to counter all that Billy & Chuck publicity Smackdown was generating in the national media, and boy, didn't they really did a number on the politically correct national media bunch, who, to a man, were praising WWE for its visionary scripting in showing a same-sex marriage on national TV?

We get five minutes or so of Kelly and Dr. Tom quizzing Matt Duda on how his hair coloring procedure using show sponsor Maxim's product is going.

Back to the "Gay Wedding"/ "HLA" angles, where Dr. Tom says that once again, Vince & Co. were trying to shock as many people as possible, and get some of the curious viewers out there to tune in and see what was going on.

Here's Droz calling in with his weekly review of all things WWE Raw. Droz says that his Maryland Terrapins are gonna kick Kelly's Florida State Seminoles, and Kelly abashedly agrees with him.
Droz says that Monday's Raw raised the bar.
"I like slime-balls like Eric Bischoff," says Droz, "when I saw that the 'Lesbians' had their own door label and chyron graphic, I wondered what the parents out there in TV land were thinking. And then, there was Smackdown..."
Kelly moves on to the big push Bubba Ray Dudley is getting in his confrontation over how HHH got the WWE Heavyweight Title.
"To me," says Droz, "handing somebody the Title belt has no meaning. I'll just bet we will see Bubba Ray wearing that Title belt before too long."
Dr. Tom likes the progress Rob Van Dam is making, saying that he has the chance to become World Champion, and that HHH has got to be concerned."
The Chatroom wants to know if Al Michaels and John Madden on "Monday Night Football" could be considered "Hot Lesbian Action?" This gets a laugh from everybody.
Kelly asks Droz about how Chris Nowinski is doing since he's on his own?
"I enjoy the jokes he's been telling," says Droz, "last year, he was on "Tough Enough," this year he's center stage. He's taking his time getting the fans to hate his character, and that smarmy preppy smile of his is a real winner."

Droz leaves, and Kelly consults the Chatroom, where the fans want to know when we can expect Sean O'Haire back on TV? Kelly says that O'Haire is out six weeks with a torn stomach muscle. This leads to discussing Bradshaw's torn biceps injury, and that Bradshaw was to be out four to six weeks.
We take a break and watch a video of Kurt Angle stumbling over his words about how he likes to "play with boys,,, nonono, that's not what I meant!" The crowd goes crazy laughing at Kurt's faux pas.

Back to the studio, where Kelly wonders if Kurt Angle is auditioning for the priesthood? Kelly then says he's heard that former President Clinton is looking to hire some interns again!

Here's Tazz with "Tales from the Hook."
Dr. Tom wants to know how Tazz felt being that close to the "wedding?"
"Greatest angle I've ever seen," says Tazz, "Bischoff did a phenomenal job, as did the Creative Team. No one, not even the talent backstage, knew what was going to happen. Bischoff swerved EVERYBODY, even the commentators. It got a HUGE reaction backstage from the talent, with everybody just hollering fit to bust!"
Kelly asks Tazz about all the publicity leading up to the wedding in the NY Post, the USA Today, the NY Times, etc.?
"Did you get to kiss the bride, Tazz?" laughs Kelly.
"Eughh. It was worse that that Vin Diesel's "Triple X" movie fiasco!" sneers Tazz.
"That bad, huh?"
"I thought the angle was really effective," says Tazz, "it did what the company wanted to do. Generate a buzz outside the company, and get folks interested in the product who normally wouldn't be."
Tazz has problems with the phone, as his conversation is breaking up badly.
Once things return to normal, topic shifts to Bischoff's henchmen, Rosie & Jamal, and their future in WWE.
Tazz says that they were a big part of a heavy-duty angle and proved themselves by being more than able to carry their part with ease.
"They have a great future in the company," says Tazz, "Both of them proved that it never stops in this business. They work hard and take pride in what they do, just like the rest of us."

Kelly moves on to the upcoming Undisputed Title match at Unforgiven between the Undertaker and Brock Lesnar.
"Undertaker brings quick hands, a hard guy, and a bad attitude to the ring," says Tazz, "But Brock Lesnar's got Paul Heyman in there, playing mind games with "Taker's head, which includes dragging Taker's pregnant wife Sara into the mix. That can only lead to trouble."

Tazz leaves, as we get a Hair Color Update on Matt Duda. He's in the shower, washing out the Maxim Hair Color For Men.
"We will see the results shortly," promises Kelly.

Regular caller Mike from New Jersey is on the phone, and says that RVD has the potential to win HHH's Heavyweight Title at Unforgiven.
Kelly doubts RVD is in HHH's league, and says he'll have to see some evidence of RVD's improved potential before he makes a judgement here.
Dr. Tom adds that HHH has already made his mark on wrestling, and has been in more grueling battles than RVD. Kelly says that it is up to RVD to beat HHH and win the Title.

Calling in from Texas is the injured but recovering Bradshaw.
Kelly asks Bradshaw when the tear injury to his biceps happened?
"It happened about three quarters of the way through the match." says Bradshaw, "My hand got caught in the ropes and my elbow got turned the wrong way, Pulling it out, I felt it tear. I first thought my elbow had been dislocated, but then I saw my elbow hanging normally and my arm began hurting like hell. Then, during the run-in, the muscle zipped up to the shoulder, and I was really in some pain then! But I got hold of some beer and started deadening that ole pain right off. I even had fun with the promo I did with Booker T, Kane and Goldust afterwards."
Kelly wondered if, since his tag partner Kane had been sidelined with his biceps injury, that maybe Bradshaw being Kane's tag partner transferred the curse to him?
Bradshaw laughs, and says he heard Kane was afraid to answer the phone for fear Bradshaw would break his ankle.
Kelly asks if this injury would put a crimp on Bradshaw's golf game?
Bradshaw says that he's hoping he can get back to the links to do another "Texas Hole In One," which gets a laugh from everybody.

Bradshaw leaves, as Kelly starts up wondering again what Matt Duda's hair is gonna look like?

On the phone is Chris Nowinski, who says he's not calling from Molly Holly's hotel room, as far as we know.
Kelly asks Chris about the slap William Regal gave him last week?
He's a tough teacher," says Chris, "but my mind WAS on other things. I like him."
Kelly and Dr. Tom ask Chris if he's been the butt of any locker room practical jokes?
"I've had my gym bag padlocked a couple of times," says Chris with a laugh.
"No dead possums, yet?" asks Dr. Tom.
"Possums?" asks Nowinski, in mock concern.
Dr. Tom asks if Chris feels he is taking the place of the original Tough Enough winner Maven, and whether he feels that place should have been rightfully his in the first place?
Chris says that he thought he should have won instead of Maven, so, yes, this could be considered his chance.
Kelly asks Chris if he planned to leave wrestling after "Tough Enough?"
"I was booking wrestling dates with an indy promoter in the car going home, laughs Chris, "No, I'm through with my old life."

Caller Rebecca wants to know if Chris had resolved his rivalry with Josh?
"Word on the street," says Chris," is that Josh has been seen in Sanford, CT."
Kelly asks if Nidia was as good a kisser as she is with Jamie Noble?
Chris has no idea what Kelly is talking about.

Kelly says that "Tough Enough's" Big says "Hi!"
"Matter of fact," says Kelly, "he's out in Los Angeles shooting "Tough Enough 3", livin' the laid-back life. You know, Playboy Mansion, Venice Beach, the works."
Kelly then asks Chris Nowinski if he thinks he is better than everyone else because he went to Harvard?
"Not a bit of it," rejoins Chris, "I just caught some good breaks in my life."
Chris does say that some of his extended family shows up at every show he does across the country, and that he appreciates their being there very much.
Kelly wants Chris prediction of the Harvard/Yale game?
"What do you think?" laughs Chris Nowinski.

Nowinski leaves the show, and Kelly shows us how Maxim Hair Color For Men has transformed Matt Duda's life.
Duda looks pretty good, too.
Kelly wonders about how much action Duda's gonna pick up tonight?
"Just tonight?" laughs Duda. "What about Saturday and Sunday? And Monday?"

Kelly and Dr. Tom disagree about which show is the better, Raw or Smackdown? Dr. Tom likes Raw, while Kelly likes Smackdown, especially with Torrie Wilson on the show.

Molly Holly is next up on the phone.
Kelly asks if Molly Holly is ever anything other than perky?
Molly says yes, last Wednesday, when she had food poisoning.
Kelly asks Molly how much influence the past women's stars had motivated her?
Molly says women wrestling idols were only Sherrie Martell, and she didn't do much wrestling, so Molly's idols were all male wrestlers like Dean Malenko and Chris Benoit.
Dr. Tom says that Molly brought her WCW experience to WWE, giving a lot of spark to the women's division.
Kelly says that all that bogus commentary directed at Molly about her fat butt demeaned her obvious athletic ability in how she makes wrestlers like Trish Stratus and Torrie Wilson look better by bringing out the best in their abilities.
Molly says that the first time she and Trish locked up, she could tell Trish had the strength, if not the skill to be a great wrestler. All she needed was a great story line to get things going.
Molly would also like to see WWE hire a lot more women wrestlers, if only to bring in some more talent from the indies to replace some of the injured women wrestlers.

Chatroom message wants to know if Molly designed her armdrag from watching Ricky Steamboat?
Molly laughs, saying that she had the tape from Wrestlemania 3 and watched it, learning from Ricky Steamboat and practiced arm-dragging the mattress. She then modified it by watching RC Haas do his armdrag, which seems to work a lot better for Molly.
An email from Kathy wants to know why Molly changed her hair?
Molly says that the bleach they were using on her hair was damaging it, and smelling bad.
"Besides," says Molly, "the darker hair doesn't stand out like a platinum blonde does. That's not what a heel wants. A heel wants things dark."

Caller Victor from California wants to know if Molly Holly is a devout Christian?
Molly says yes, she is.
Kelly wants to know how being a Christian has affected he career?
Molly says it takes a hard work and determination, but with the help from God, she is doing just fine.

A Chatroom question from Jessica asks how Molly stays in such great shape?
"First off, I don't eat junk food," says Molly, "I try to eat healthy and stay active."
Kelly asks Molly how she is doing physically?
Molly says she has no major injuries, though she did whack her elbow on the towel rack; the injury made it so she couldn't bend it for a couple of days
Dr. Tom asks about the storyline with Chris Nowinski is going?
"Oh, he's trouble," laughs Molly, "and the storyline is a challenge. But behind the scenes, he's a sweet guy."
Kelly says Nowinski's a jerk, which gets a laugh from Molly.
"I mean, c'mon, Molly," says Kelly, "he lost on 'Tough Enough!"
Then Kelly and Dr. Tom ask if Molly is seeing anybody?
"No," says Molly, "I'm single."
So Kelly and Dr. Tom spend the next five minutes trying to fix her up with every eligible male in the studio.
Molly says she can't wait to see Matt Duda's new hairdo. Seems she's taken a shine to the lad.

About the HLA incident, Molly has some harsh words about how Steven Richards and Bubba Ray were both out there in the ring just working their butts off, and all the commentators could talk about was the stupid HLA business.
And doing it while the match was going on!
"It is the most disturbing and annoying thing to be out there working hard, almost getting killed in the ring, and then to be ignored, just not be appreciated," retorts Molly.
"Then," she continues, " later on, during the beat-down, when Rosie was holding that girl over his head, it looked like she was half-naked. Beating up on half-naked women isn't what I want to see on TV, even if it is only a perception. It was too much for me to watch."
Molly goes on to say that the Billy & Chuck wedding was well done.
"I was wondering who the actor was playing the Justice of the Peace was." She says. "When I found out it was Eric Bischoff, I was really surprised. It was a great publicity stunt. Just very well done."

Back to the up-and-coming women's wrestlers, with Molly giving a rub to Victoria and others.
"Victoria was ready to be a superstar two years ago," says Molly, "she can do high-flying moves as well as power moves."
Kelly wants to know when "Tough Enough 2's" Jackie Gayda and Linda will be ready to come back up to WWE from OVW in Louisville?
Molly says that they both need a lot more experience before they show up in a WWE ring again.
"They both have great attitudes and are getting good training," say Molly," so I look for them to be back on TV before too long."
Kelly asks where Molly is calling from?
"St. Louis." Says Molly, "Why?"
"Well, Chris Nowinski is also in St. Louis..." wheedles Kelly, "is he in the same hotel room with you?"
"No chance," says Molly. "He just wishes that he could be in my room."

Kelly asks if Molly would like to see longer matches for the women on Raw?
"Each girl should have the opportunity to choose the match style she likes," says Molly, "if other girls like doing the, uh, 'pudding matches,' that's cool, too."
"Pudding," muses Kelly, "I could go for some pudding right about now..."
"So could I," says Dr. Tom, as Molly cracks up once more.
Molly's segment winds up with Kelly thanking her for being on the show.

As Molly leaves, Matt Duda says that Jessica from California is on the phone and likes his hair.
Duda then puts Jessica on the air. Jessica says that Duda looks great and that she wants to date him the next time he's out in Los Angeles.
Dr. Tom asks Jessica how she liked "Hot Lesbian Action?"
"Hey," says Jessica, "whatever floats your boat"
Matt says that Jessica wants he should pull her off the air so that she can give him her telephone number.
Which gets the big "Whoo-Hoo!" from Kelly to Dr. Tom.

"Point/Counterpoint" has Kelly "Pointing" out that Dr. Tom should get back in the ring, that his ring career is not over yet.
Dr. Tom gives him a dirty look in "Counterpoint."
Next week's guest is scheduled to be Smackdown General Manager Stephanie McMahon.

The show ends with the video of Billy & Chuck's "Commitment Ceremony" on last night's Smackdown.
Where they found those three lounge singers to belt out "It's Raining Men," is beyond me. How the three of them kept a straight face through the whole thing...just priceless!
And wasn't it great to see the Godfather back, with his "Ho' Train" in tow?
Eric Bischoff wins the " 'List of Adrian Messenger' Award for the Best Makeup Job in Sports Entertainment."

See you next week.

E.C. Ostermeyer
[slash] wrestling

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