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WWF Byte This! by E.C. Ostermeyer




This is the WWE Byte this! report for Friday, 27 September 2002, and I'm E.C.

We get a "Scorpion King" promo, heralding it's release this week in DVD and VHS formats just prior to a

Live shot of Times Square in New York City, with host Kevin Kelly announcing that today's show will be broadcast live from WWE's "The World" facility, oh, and here's the

Opening Credits.

Kelly and co-host Dr. Tom Prichard are perched on barstools. Dr. Tom says he rode the NY subway's "S" Train to the show today, which accounts for his pasty-white complexion. Kelly, an old hand at riding the subway, or perhaps just lurking in tunnels, has a chuckle at Dr. Tom's expense.
He then says that they've still got plenty of seats left at "The World," so if you are in the Tri-State area, c'mon down and join the fun. It's free.
My guess is that, at 4PM on a Friday, most of the show's audience is still at their jobs.
Kelly says they've got a good crowd on hand, which once again makes me wonder who's in the crowd at The World" at 4PM on a Friday?
Let's check THAT demographic out. Probably looks like the last act of "Ironweed" out there. Or "Lord of the Flies."
Dr. Tom and Kelly then do the weekly review of all things WWE. They touch on Brock Lesnar's continuing feud with the Undertaker, and how the Eddie Guerrero/Edge match at "Unforgiven" closed the book on "Match of the Year" for 2002.

Today's guests include Tommy Dreamer, Steven Richards, and the toothsome Dawn Marie.
Kelly wants to know if we will see a bikini contest between Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson? Studio audience is enthusiastic about that possibility.
Dr. Tom then asks who wants to see a rematch of the Singapore Cane match between today's guests, Tommy Dreamer and Steven Richards? WAY more enthusiasm for that bout from the studio audience, even more so than the bikini contest, oddly enough.

Here is Steven Richards, live and in the flesh, joining Kelly and Dr. Tom.
Kelly says that there aren't too many people in WWE who work harder at their jobs in WWE than Richards does.
Kelly says that he's amazed at the condition Richards is in. Richards responds that he's lost over sixty pounds, plus he's been through a number of personal changes that helped him make himself into a better person.
"Whether situations are in my control or not," says Richards, "I now take responsibility for everything that I do, everything that happens to me."

Kelly asks Richards about the fallout he got from the infamous "HLA angle," and touches on Molly Holly's anger that both Richards and Dreamer were out there in the ring killing each other, while the announce team of Good ol' Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler were too wrapped up in jabbering on about "Hot Lesbian Action."
Richards says he can't control what Lawler or JR do out there; all he knows is that he and Bubba Ray Dudley had one helluva match. Oh, and Lawler's supposed to be a pervert.

Dr. Tom asks Richards about his change from the "Right To Censor" gimmick to what he's doing now?
Richards says that the heat he has today is all derived from leading "Right To Censor."
"Seems like when I put on that shirt and tie, I gained sixty pounds," says Richards. "What I did in RTC was to take the fun out of Raw. Vince was having trouble for real with the PTC bunch, and he used "Right To Censor" as a gimmick to make money out of the trouble he was having with them. Maybe also to thumb his nose, too."
Kelly asks if Richards still supported his RTC ideals?
Richards says that it's not his job anymore to police what the kids are watching these days; that's their parents' job.

Dr. Tom asks if Richards missed the Hardcore Title; Richards says yes, though not on, say Tuesday or Friday morning when the aches and pains start.
"I got staples in my head, a concussion or two..." says Richards, "Tommy Dreamer? I don't know how much damage he's taken but it's gotta be a lot!"

Dr. Tom comments on Richards' physical conditioning. Richards says that he stays in condition in order to minimize the risk of injury.
Richards expands on this, saying that he really enjoyed being down in HWA in Cincinnati; it really got his head on straight.

Kelly and Dr. Tom have a laugh with Richards about working down in Atlanta, "carrying the ring uphill in the snow, both ways, ho ho!"
Richards then accuses Crash Holly of stealing his tube of "Steven Richards' Body Butter."
"The guy's a little "Short" on responsibility," laughs Richards.
Kelly says Richards and Holly rode the roads together for a long time. Richards says that he and Crash complement each other because "he's a jerk, and I'm not!".
Richards then says that he had fun working with Randy Orton on Raw. "He's got what it takes to be a superstar," say Richards, "I mean, if Vince & Co. could make a superstar out of Crash..." which gets a big laugh from everybody.

We take a break and watch a video from Monday's Raw, where Tommy Dreamer and Chris Nowinski do the "Little Red Schoolhouse" routine. It's wild, although we don't get any audio, except what's being broadcast to the folks at The World. The live mics on stage are all open, and we get loads of studio audience crowd reaction, plus Kelly jawing with the techs.

And here's Tommy Dreamer, live at "The World" with Kelly and Dr. Tom.
Dreamer says that his years in the business in ECW and early on in WWE finally translated to a great angle with him and Nowinski.
Dr. Tom remarks that Dreamer, one of the last guys out of ECW, is now taking his knowledge to help promote the new superstars in WWE.

Kelly promos Dreamer's matches at house shows in Palm Beach and in Beaumont, TX, with the Big Show. The stipulation to these matches is that, if the match lasts beyond ten minutes, Big Show has to kiss Dreamer's butt in the ring.
Dreamer says it's gotta be over ten minutes or all he gets is beat up by The Big Show.
Kelly moves on to the match Dreamer had with Rob Van Dam at Madison Square Garden, the last night for the Hardcore Title.
"It was the last hurrah for the Hardcore Division," say Dreamer, " and there was a lot of my family and friends there at ringaside as well. It was a great show; we worked really hard to put on a good match. Of course I got emotional about it."
Dr. Tom asks if Dreamer missed ECW?
"Nope, though, if ECW had lasted any longer than it did," says Dreamer, "I probably would have killed Paul Heyman!"
Kelly and Dreamer eulogize the passing of Ted "Rocco Rock" Petty of Public Enemy this week.
Dreamer says that he missed a lot of people from ECW, like Little Guido and the Sandman, but you move on with your life.

Comparing Raw to Smackdown, Dreamer says that he thinks the Raw locker room is tougher than the Smackdown promotion.
Dreamer also remarks that at first, he didn't know who Eric Bischoff was, until he got hit on the head in a match. As he staggered around backstage, he spotted Bischoff again, and thought he was hallucinating from the headbump he received.
Dr. Tom wants to know if we will see Dreamer eat anything disgusting like he used to do?
Kelly recounts several of the disgusting things Dreamer ate, like a whole sack of White Castle cheeseburgers, potstickers out of the commode, human hair.
Kelly also says that Dreamer told him water from the commode is way colder than from the tap.
"Why not try it sometime?" laughs Dreamer.
Dreamer says he's heard that we eat thirty spiders in a lifetime when they crawl into our mouths while we sleep.
"You know that tickle you sometimes get when you wake up?" says Dreamer slyly, "well, there you go! Then there's the fifty pounds of dirt you consume over a lifetime..."
As Dr. Tom starts going green around the gills, Dreamer says that he feeds off human emotions, beginning back in ECW and then here in WWE.
Kelly asks where Dreamer's selflessness came from?
Dreamer says that everything he does is real; cane shots, head-bumps off the mat, they all give you headaches afterwards.
Dreamer also says that, when he retires, he wants to be the host here at "The World."
Kelly asks if he picks off their plates?
Dreamer says he usually distracts them with a comment like "Hey, isn't that the Rock?" and then swipes the smaller buffalo wing or egg roll of their plate. They usually don't miss it. Usually.

We take another break, and watch the Dawn Marie/ Torrie Wilson skit from Smackdown, where Dawn Marie challenges Torrie to a bikini contest. Same lousy sound screw-up, and Kelly can be heard talking about some waiter stiffing him on a serving size.

Here's Dawn Marie, looking lovely as usual.
Dawn says that Torrie's been getting too much attention, and its beginning to piss her off.
Dawn's really focusing on Dr. Tom, giving Kelly the cold shoulder.
Kelly asks what it's like being a part of Smackdown?
Dawn Marie (still focused on Dr. Tom) says she "doesn't know if Smackdown is better than Raw, but they all get there early, and they all get along. It's just what we do."
Dr. Tom compliments Dawn Marie on her in-ring skills. Dawn Marie says she trains every day with Torrie and Nidia.
"Until I got in the ring and learned how to live with the aches and pains, my respect level for what the wrestlers out themselves through each week just went through the roof," says Dawn Marie. "You just enjoy every moment out there because it could be my last moment in my career."
Kelly asks how Dawn Marie got so enamored of San Diego, California?
"I am in love with the place," laughs Dawn Marie," I told my Daddy to sell his house and move there."
Kelly asks how close Dawn Marie is to her father?
"When I was seventeen," laughs Dawn Marie, "a boy called my house to ask me for a date, and my Dad got on the phone and scared the hell out of him. Dad looking after me early on has helped me to enjoy a date with a nice man, and get my priorities right."
In answer to Dr. Tom's question, Dawn Marie says her father is excited about her career with WWE, though she still wants a family and motherhood, but not right now.
"If my biological clock stops ticking, I can always adopt," says Dawn Marie," there are a lot of kids out there that need love and guidance too."
Kelly asks what Dawn Marie does on her off-hours?
"I curl up with a good book in my apartment in San Diego," says Dawn Marie sweetly.

Dr. Tom moves on to the "WWE Divas Undressed" shoot, which brings out Tommy dreamer with the very magazine, who says that Dawn Marie is all natural, not an air-brush in sight. "I think every male on this planet ought to have this magazine," says Dreamer.
"What about women?" asks Kelly brightly. "HLA, anyone?"
Dreamer and Richards and Dawn Marie all look at Kelly with some distaste
"Hey, look!" says Kelly, attempting to change the subject, "it's Jacqueline! And she's got her top ON!"

We take a break and watch the outstanding Edge/ Edie Guerrero "No DQ" match from Smackdown. there is still no sound at all, except crowd reactions from the Byte This! studio audience.

Back to "The World," where Steven Richard has joined Tommy Dreamer and Dawn Marie on-stage for Q&A's.

Kelly remarks on how each of the three of them have such passion for the business.
Dreamer says he was in Buffalo, NY the night Richards got a guardrail dropped on his neck, had to have surgery, then got right back in the ring as soon as he could. Dreamer also says that he just got off the phone with Rhyno, who, recovering from his neck injury, has set himself a ferocious training schedule to get back in WWE. "He's been eating his way through the local Cracker Barrel restaurants," laughs Dreamer.
"Hey," says Kelly, "next time you talk with Rhyno, have him pick me up of those roll-up checkerboards, would you? They are so cool!"
Dreamer gives Kelly "The Look."

Richards says that Dreamer's the one who has the passion, what with the injuries he's had and all.
Dawn Marie says that Dreamer's always good for an honest answer and an honest opinion; he is someone to tell you what you did wrong, and what you did right, too.
"Tommy had this ongoing joke about me looking too big..." says Dawn Marie.
"...And me weighing 290 lbs with love handles hanging over my belt," laughs Dreamer.

Kelly's got loads of T-shirts to give away, but not before we get Matt Duda doing the chyron montage. Here's the weekly airing of "The Skullet, Kevin Kelly as Lex Luthor's nasty little brother, Dr. Tom as the Body Donna, and Kelly once more as a hapless Santa Claus, squalling rugrat and all!

Randy, a mat-rat from The Pit, wants to know what the team's best match in ECW was?
Dawn Marie says she was lucky to work with such great talent. Dreamer says that Dawn got stripped to bra and panties her first night in ECW. and that takes a lot of guts. Dreamer says that his best match is the always next one, like the one he will have in Palm Beach, and then Beaumont, Texas.
Richards says his best ECW match was at the first "Barely Legal." Dreamer was doing play-by-play with Joey Styles.
Next question is what Title Dreamer and Richards (and Dawn Marie) will be gunning for now that the Hardcore Title is retired?
Richards says he's going after the Cruiserweight Title. Dreamer and Dawn Marie both want the Heavyweight Title.
Morvin (a human female of Scots descent and accent) wants to know if Dawn Marie would want to kick the Women's Matches up a notch say to a hardcore match level?
Kelly's got a sly look on his face that Dawn Marie spots, and quickly says that whatever the management wants her to do, she will do.
Some guy identified by Kelly as "Lyle Lovett" wants to know if the ECW alumni hang out together still?
"Yeah," laughs Dreamer, "we got a bus we all drive around in. Heyman pays for the gas!"
Dawn Marie says she misses the members of ECW that never made it to WWE. She's also fast friends with Lance Storm.
Brendan from Brooklyn wants to know if Dreamer still has that contact lens stuck in his head.
"Yeah , it's still there, from all indications," laughs Richards.
Radames wants to know the group's feelings on Rocco Rock's passing.
"A straight shooter," says Richards.
"A kind generous person,' says Dawn Marie, "always respectful, and willing to help out."
Kelly asks the team who their one wrestling hero was?
Dreamer says that he was a big Bob Backlund fan until Backlund blew him off over an autograph request Since then, not a day goes by but that I've been waiting for somebody to clobber Backlund for me.
Richards has heat for Dusty Rhodes, who did to him much the same thing that Backlund did to Dreamer, and helped in creating the wacko persona of Richards. Richards does about a minute-long impersonation of Dusty Rhodes, and everybody cracks up.
Dawn Marie says she wanted to marry Roddy Piper. "Still would," she says, "in a heartbeat!
"I worked with him once," giggles Dawn Marie, " and I kept getting distracted. I just wanted to go up to him and ask him to marry me right therein the ring..."

Josh from New York City wants to see Dreamer and Richards as Tag partners once again.
"Back in the day, we were the original Billy & Chuck," laughs Richards.

With that, the show ends from "The World."
Kelly thanks everybody, and we are done.
The closing music is Smackdown's theme, "The Beautiful People."

See you next week.

E.C. Ostermeyer
[slash] wrestling

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