/21 October 2000
|Pro Wrestling Classics by Miguelito Fierro
THE GOLDEN AGE OF WRESTLING - OCTOBER 21, 2000
(Original date sometime in 1973)
Hey, the Golden Age of Wrestling is actually on the air this week. And, more importantly, I am on the ball this week! And that means that you, the fans, benefit, because there will be a GAoW recap this week. WOOHOO!
Hello, everyone, and welcome once again to the GAoW recap. I am your daring recapper, Miguelito. I am here with you, every now and then, to guide you through the maze that is the history of professional wrestling. Sometimes our examination of pro wrestling history reveals something beautiful (as in the fantastic Buddy Rogers -vs- Pat O'Connor NWA title match aired in June) and sometimes it finds things that are just plain ugly (the women's boxing match that aired last weekend). But through it all, I will be here with you.
So let's hop onto the Magic Carpet and take a Ride back to what looks like the 1970s again, just like last week. Speaking of last week, to all of you who wrote, asking me why I didn't do any "compare Mark Madden to Haystack Calhoun" jokes, there are two reasons. First, I think that would be an insult to the memory of Calhoun. Haystack was a legend in pro wrestling. And, he was a very talented wrestler, especially on the mic. Madden is neither. And second, that's far too easy a joke to make! But I digress; let's get on with the show!
We go to Detroit, Michigan, where we see the competitors for our first match already in the ring. We will have El Brecero -vs- Gary Fulton, in what should be a pretty fast-moving match. Fulton has a good foot and 50-75 pounds on El Brecero, which means that we are going to see a standard big man/little man match. Should be interesting!
Lockup, into the ropes, and we break. Collar-and-elbow into a headlock. Into the ropes, tackle, back into the ropes, hiptoss by Fulton. El Brecero with a kick, then two lightning-fast arm drags. Fulton heads out of the ring to slow down the match. Back in, standing wrist lock. Fulton uses the tights to take El Brecero down, then keeps him down with an arm bar. El Brecero back up, but Fulton pulls him down by the hair again (to a chorus of boo's) and back into the arm bar. And again! Fulton is really annoying the fans now. Sorta sounds like PSYCHOLOGY to me!
Our unknown ring commentator continues to annoy me by calling El Brecero "Super Mex." El Brecero kicks out, but Fulton continues to use the hair to gain the advantage, then switches to the arm bar. Fulton begins to drive his knee into El Brecero's shoulder. El Brecero gets up, though, and takes Fulton down with a quick armbar. Fulton tries a body slam, but El Brecero keeps a hold on the arm, and pulls Fulton back to the mat. The crowd pops BIG TIME for that move. More PSYCHOLOGY!
Fulton finally makes his way to the ropes for the break. They lock up, and Fulton shocks El Brecero with a strong forearm smash in the corner. Right, but El Brecero comes back with a punch to the stomach. Into the ropes, back body drop. Dropkick! El Brecero tries a running splash, but Fulton moves and El Brecero gets hung up on the ropes. Fulton tries a splash, but El Brecero moves, and Fulton gets hung on the ropes. Dropkick into the corner! Irish whip into the opposite corner, and Fulton goes down hard. El Brecero running into that corner, jumps to the second turnbuckle, and comes off with a Vader Bomb!!! Cover, but only a two-count.
Both men back up, but Fulton nails El Brecero with a head to the turnbuckle. Again. Fulton now runs El Brecero into the opposite turnbuckle, then nails a snap mare (!) out of the corner. Fulton with an arm bar, really digging in. Fulton pulls El Brecero up by the hair, then drops him back to the ring. Oh, and we just learn that tonight's matches are sanctioned by the NWA. Both men into the ropes, El Brecero follows behind Fulton and rolls Fulton into a small package with bridge for the unexpected pin at (7:50). WOW! That was actually a pretty damned good match. The finish came from out of nowhere, but in a good way. I think this week's show just might rock!
Oh, this commercial break reminds me of something! Remember, it is almost time to vote once again. This is that time of the year when every single person in America can make a difference. Don't forget, on Tuesday, November 7, to get out to your local polling place and vote. I'd prefer it if you voted for Ralph Nader, but it really doesn't matter who you vote for. What matters is that you do vote!
Okay, enough of this public service announcement. We are back from commercial just in time for our next match (isn't it amazing how that works?). We are in for a treat, too, as we have Bobo Brazil taking on Michael Angelo (heh). I can't help but laugh at the tackiness of that gimmick. On the plus side, Angelo did not come to the ring in a smock or with paints. Lockup, into the ropes, break. Call 313-381-3890 to get Big Time Wrestling to come to your hometown! Of course, that phone number has probably been disconnected for 20 years. So try it at your own risk!
What have we missed in the ring while I typed that? Not much. Angelo is trying to avoid Brazil. Into the ropes, and Angelo surprises Brazil with a cheap shot on the break. Left. Right to the head. Forearm, and Brazil is down. Angelo pulls him up, then nails an uppercut right underneat Brazil's chin. Head into the turnbuckle, that's not going to work against Brazil! Brazil with a goofy facial expression which pops the crowd, then he slams Angelo's head into the turnbuckle. Angelo pops up about five feet, then goes straight to the ground. Instead of following up, however, Brazil plays to the crowd.
Lockup again, and Brazil grabs an arm bar. Angelo thinking about using the hair to get out of this, but each time he does, Brazil increases the pressure. So Angelo rakes the eys! PSYCHOLOGY! Brazil in the corner, and Angelo is choking him. Kicck to the stomach. Left. Right to the chin. Again. And again! The commentator is trying to put over an upcoming match between Brazil and the original Sheik. They don't care much for this match either, apparently.
Into the ropes, and Angelo elbows Brazil right in the face. Shouldn't have done that, he woke Brazil up! Into the corner! Opposite corner, but the Irish Whip is reversed. Bobo hits the corner, but uses pulls himself up, wraps his legs around Angelo's head, then kicks him right on top of the head! Angelo is on spaghetti legs. Brazil grabs him... COCO BUTT! Angelo is down, and he ain't getting up! The three count is academic, and thankfully brings an end to a not-very-exciting match (5:45)
WHEW!!! We almost lost my entire recap of that match, because Microsoft writes horribly crappy software. Out of nowhere, Word 2000 just up and died. WinMe was nice enough to let me know that W2000 was about to be closed. I watched in horror as the window went away. And then I couldn't re-open the file. So I shut down the TV Tuner card, exited out of email, and restarted the computer. When it came back up, I re-opened Word 2000, and was greeted with the wonderful prompt, "Opening 10-21-00.txt (Recovered)." WHEW! At least Microsoft can fix the problems their buggy software fixes!
Sir Clements it out for a quickie interview. He informs us that he will give $5,000 to anyone who can beat his man, George "The Animal" Steele!!!! Oh, no, wait, that's not the Animal. It's a wrestler who is called "The Brute." He looks like the Animal! Before this gets anywhere, let's hear this word from our sponsor, Bill Russell. (Huh?)
We are back from commercial for the introductions for this match. And to hear Sir Clements repeat the $5,000 challenge. ($5,000 was a lot of cash back in the 70s). We have Hank James taking on the Brute for the $5,000 challenge here. James has these really strange, semi-camoflauge tights that really hurt my eyes.
James comes out fast. A right hurts his hand. James with a few more rights, and manages to stagger the Brute. Brute tries a sweeping right, but James ducks, then hits a series of rights. Headbutt by the Brute has no effect. Headbutt by James has no effect. A second headbutt knocks the Brute back into the ropes, where he becomes tangled. James with a windup into a right. The ref isn't exactly pushing James away from the Brute here. James starts choking the Brute! Hey, you're a face, you can't do that!
The Brute finally gets out of the ropes, and begins to work over James. Punches takes him down, and now Brute is stomping James. Brute grabs a microphone, and starts beating James with this. James outside of the ring, onto the ring announcers table! Brute follows him down, and is really taking it to James. The referee is calling for the bell, but the Brute doesn't care. Brute is brutalizing James with the microphone outside the ring.
Brute back into the ring, and that was a mistake. James catches him with a punch, then a couple of bodyslams. Clements allegedly distracts James, allowing Brute to regain the advantage. Brute takes him down, then goes outside the ring to get a chair. The referee is now counting...? I thought we already had a DQ? This makes less sense than a WCW match... Brute gets the win at (4:35). Brute is still brutalizing James, until Bobo Brazil hits the ring. The commentator says that Brazil is out to help his brother; I don't know if he means in the familial or racial context.
Brazil grabs the chair, and nails the Brute enough times to knock him out of the ring. Brazil then tends to James, who may or may not be Brazil's brother. Who can say for sure? All I know is that that was a very exciting way to end the match. Confusing, sure, but it had me at the edge of my seat. Why? You guessed it: PSYCHOLOGY!!!
We are back from commercials in time for our main event. For the United States championship, and a loser-leave-town match, to boot!, we have The Sheik challenging Mark Lewin. It's been kinda fun watching Lewin mature as a wrestler in the space of, oh, what, a month? He went from a mid-carder in the 60s to the US champ in the 70s. Not too bad a career progression!
The Sheik annoys the fans by doing his pre-match ritual (dropping to his knees, bowing to Allah over and over again). Lewin is classy enough to let the Sheik finish. The Sheik disrobes, and we are finally underway! Collar-and-elbow, into the ropes, the Sheik isn't going to break cleanly. Right to the stomach, but Lewin returns the favor, and the Sheik backs WAY up. Sheik gazing towards the heavens, then locks up again. Into the corner, more rights to the stomach. And now the Sheik is biting Lewin! We may get a blade job 30 seconds into this match!
I should note that the Sheik is about five inches shorter than Lewin, yet he was feared throughout the NWA's territory as the baddest man alive. That's how good Sheik was, and how good Tazz could be, if the WWF would put him over as a bad ass. But I digress.
Sheik pulls out an International Object, and is working Lewin over with it. The referee is letting this one go (Relaxed DQ rules?). Sheik is digging at Lewin's head with the object, and Lewin is in a bad way. The referee checks Lewin, Lewin's trainer tries to pull Lewin out of the ring, but Sheik isn't having any of this. Lewin is finally able to get out of the ring. He walks around into the shadows, and I think he just bladed.
Lewin trying to get in the ring, but Sheik won't let him. Lewin takes a lap through the crowd, scaring a lot of people out of the way. Lewin actually chokes a woman as he tries to walk over her. He's lucky she didn't sue! Lewin tries to get in the ring again, but just gets the international object driven back into his forehead.
Lewin circles the ring, until the Sheik grabs him (again) and again starts digging in with the international object. The crowd is horrified at this sight, is terrified of just how evil the Sheik is, and is worried that their favorite guy, Lewin, is going to lose and have to leave town. THIS is almost a textbook example of RING PSYCHOLOGY!
Back from commercial, and Lewin still cannot get in the ring. Lewin wanders into the crowd, apparently looking for another innocent woman to choke. Lewin turns around, and heads back towards the waiting Sheik. Someone hands Lewin an international object (looked like a pencil). Lewin finally manages to sneak back into the ring, and begins to work the Sheik over with the foreign object. The crowd pops, and I've gotta admit that I do too! Lewin actually breaks the pencil, driving it into the Sheik's head. He is able to bust the Sheik open first, though. Lewin tries for a pin, but only gets a two count.
The match is pretty much even now, and it shows. Irish whip into the ropes, collision, and both men are down. Lewin covers, but Sheik's manager breaks up the pin. Lewin back up to his feet, and the Sheik is begging off. The crowd is going nuts, sensing victory might be at hand. Lewin is using what is left of the international object to beat down on the Sheik. Sheik's manager back in, but Lewin runs him off. Bad move, though, as this let the Sheik get back to his feet. International Object to the head, to the stomach, but Lewin nails the International Object to the Sheik's "little shiek". Shiek is hurt, and this crowd is RABID!!!
Off the ropes, and Lewin grabs a sleeper! Sheik's manager in, but Lewin grabs him in a sleeper hold! Referee comes in to try to get the men apart, but gets nailed by the manager. Referee goes down, giving the Sheik just enough time to start up a fireball. FIREBALL TO BOTH LEWIN AND BEECHMAN!!! The Sheik sacrificed his own manager for this win! Lewin, in agony, rolls out of the ring. Beechman is rolling around the floor of the ring. The referee missed all of this, and instead counts out Mark Lewin. (8:35) We have a new United States heavyweight champion, and Mark Lewin must leave the Detroit wrestling area. Not that he'd want to wrestle there, with his face all burned and all. But there's always the chance that a masked wrestler approximately the same size and shape of Lewin will appear in Detroit soon...
Incredible match. It wasn't pretty, but it was exciting. I don't know how I can control myself with all of this PSYCHOLOGY running rampant in today's show!
We are back from commercial just in time for a two-ring battle royal (Oh, god). Oh, Andre the Giant is one of the participants in this battle royal. I can guarantee you that Andre is going to win this thing! I'll try to keep tabs on what is happening, but I am not too worried about it if I miss someone. The rules are that you have to be thrown either into the second ring, or over the top rope to the floor. Once there's only one person left in each ring, those two will fight it out.
Brute gets tossed into the second ring; he tries to go back into the first ring, but the referees won't let him in. Michael Angelo gets dumped into the second ring, and the Brute immediately dumps him over the top rope! The same exact thing happens to Gary Fulton. And Christopher Colt. And someone else (we weren't told who). El Brecero also gets knocked into the second ring, and also gets dumped. As does the Wolfman. And Von Hess. Chris Taylor eliminates himself in his hurry to get Von Hess (DUMMY!). We are seeing a Diesel-like push here, as the Brute continues to easily eliminate everyone who ends up in the second ring.
In ring one, we are down to Bobo Brazil and Andre the Giant. Collar-and-elbow, Brazil with a headlock. Into the ropes, tackle, neither man moves. Tieup, headlock by Andre. Into the ropes, another collision, this time Brazil moves a little. Another tie up, Coco Butt, but Andre doesn't move. Another lockup, into the ropes. Andre doesn't break cleanly. Andre and Bobo are trading right and lefts. Now they stop and jaw at each other. They then start to laugh, and are having a really nice, touching conversation in the ring. They shake hands, and Andre steps over the top rope, eliminating himself! Bobo wants the Brute, and Andre is letting him have him!
We are down to two people now, and they both move to ring two. Bobo dances around, tries to lock up with the Brute, but the Brute runs and jumps over the top rope, eliminating himself. BULLSHIT! (6:13). The crowd boos, and so do I. What a sucky way to end the match, and the show! I hope that something good happens next week, to take this yucky taste out of my mouth!
All in all, this week's show did rock. There was a fairly boring match featuring Bobo Brazil, and a really crappy, screw-jobby battle royal featuring Bobo Brazil. So, basically, everything on this show that DIDN'T feature Bobo Brazil ruled.
And THAT is true!
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