/ECW on TNN
/3 December 1999
|ECW on TNN by Bill Barnwell
No letters, nothing to really say; let's just get right to this week's show.
We start off with a video package detailing the Raven/Dreamer/Sandman feud; it's mentioned that Raven stole Sandman's wife and son in 1996. Guess who gets involved tonight. Tonight, we have Raven vs. Sandman in what will surely be an incredibly overbooked match, plus Steve Corino invades a Limp Shiznit concert!
OPENING CREDITS (in LP Form! ***** Frog Splash onto Sabu's leg!)
Joey Styles and Joel
"I make them holler for a dollar, and do some strange for some
change," Gertner are in the ECW Arena to start us off! And, to
join us in opening the show, we're going to talk to the Impact Players.
A "Shut the Fuck Up" chant to start the interview off right,
mixed in with weaker chants of "We Want Puppies" and
"ECW". Credible says that Styles is standing next to the
World Tag Team champs (hey, that'd be the Impact Players?). Credible
puts over that Rhino and Candido bit the bullet for the Impact Players
by losing last week to Raven and Dreamer.
COMMERCIALS! Hey; there's that Howie Long - Teri Hatcher spot that CRZ can't get over. The chemistry ain't there, by the way.
Jack Victory and Steve Corino are backstage in Peoria, Illinois! Corino says that Limp Shiznit's music is preventing him from concentrating. He is apparently confused and down-in-the-dumps; Tajiri lost at the PPV, Rhino's flocked to Candido. He tries to convince Jack Victory to come join him, but no dice. So, now, Corino is left by himself.
Super Crazy to the ring...which must mean, YES! Super Crazy vs. Ikuto Hidaka !
Hidaka is from the BattlArts promotion in Japan; a shoot-style promotion for those of you who aren't familiar with puroresu. Hidaka was recommended by Tajiri, and anything recommended by Tajiri must be good, so I'm fully expecting Hidaka to rule.
The Sandman is backstage, he says that he's going to take Raven to the extreme.
Hidaka has a nice fro, I must say. They tieup, and Crazy gets a armwringer. Hidaka reverses, but then Crazy reverses that into a ipponzei. Gertner: "Hidaka is a product from Japan trying to make it big in the States; just like Pokemon!" Tieup again, and an Hidaka hammerlock gives him the advantage. Hidaka shoots the single-leg into the move that Mysterio does in Revenge where he twists the knee. It hurts. He does it again. Hidaka covers for a 2. A knucklelock now, and Hidaka kicks before Crazy can sink it in. A side headlock, and Crazy uses it to whip Hidaka. Hidaka shoulderblock takes Crazy down. Hidaka off the ropes, cartwheels over the prone Crazy, Hidaka quebrada misses (but he stays on his feet), Crazy hits Hidaka with a HUGE-ASS chop. Another one in the corner isn't much worse. Cross-corner whip from Crazy, Hidaka uses the top rope to jump over a charging Crazy, Crazy off of top with a cross body, then a Crazy armdrag, and an Hidaka armdrag; they both do the Juvy jump-up to their feet, and the ECW Arena crowd gives it a huge pop.
Another knucklelock (which is good framing of the match), and Hidaka gets a kick off again before Crazy can sink it in. A cross-corner whip from Hidaka works, and he hits a sweet handspring leg lariat. Never seen that before. Crazy is now in the bronco buster position, and instead of looking gay, Hidaka rules it with a Tajiriish dropkick to the face. Crazy to the floor, and then to the guardrail after a baseball slide dropkick. Hidaka then busts out an ASAI TWISTING PLANCHA to the 2nd row! Tajiri was right, Hidaka rules! He's managed to pull off two things I've never seen done Stateside, and I watch too much Americanized lucha as it is. What do I watch more than American lucha? That's right....
We come back to see both Crazy and Hidaka in the ring. Crazy with a chop, and a whip; Hidaka jumps to the 2nd rope, and spins in midair into a SPRINGBOARD SWINGING DDT! Awesome move by Hidaka again! Hidaka hits a nice rana, but the second one is countered into a Crazy powerbomb. Crazy to the outside, and leaps over the top turnbuckle to hit a 2nd rope quebrada for 2. 10 punches in the corner en español. He then does it again, which would make it 20 punches in the corner en español. Crazy whip, tilt-a-whirl something misses, Hidaka hits a spinning heel kick. Hidaka goes for a handspring something, but Crazy catches him; Hidaka then hits an INSANE rana off of Crazy's shoulders that looked like it may have killed Crazy. That gets 2 and a huge pop from the ECW Arena. A wild Crazy punch is ducked, and a German Suplex from Hidaka gets 2. Hidaka with chops in the corner, but a cross-corner whip is reversed by Crazy; Crazy runs at Hidaka, but Hidaka gets the boots up; Hidaka goes for the Swinging DDT, but Crazy throws him off on midair in something I haven't seen since 1995 and the Guerrero-Malenko matches. A HUGE Liger bomb, and a top-rope quebrada from Crazy finishes Hidaka off. AWESOME match. Probably the 2nd best match I've seen on TNN short of Van Dam - Lynn from the Arena.
Live Event Hype post-match, and we're back to Illinois; Corino says he's going to prove that he's not a comedy act. He says other stuff, too, but it's not that important. Don't worry, reader; if it was, I'd tell you.
CYRUS THE MOTHERFUCKING VIRUS is backstage! YES! Cyrus, BTW, is apparently the Vice President of ECW Canada. I wonder if he authorized these
Corino is WALKING! Really! He's walking towards the stage; randomly yelling at girls who are stagediving/grinding. Corino: "This is disgusting!" Corino rules.
Raven is going to kill the Sandman! How do I know? He says so. He also talks more about his drunken father and the Sandman, but it's all repetitive, so I won't repeat it. But what will be repeated? You know what...
COMMERCIALS! (Including ANOTHER view at the Howie - Tori spot. And, in more TNN marketing genius, an ECW on TNN commercial. That's a great idea, tell us about the show while we're watching it! Morons.)
Corino is onstage! He gets the MIC! But, some skank says that "this is Limp Bizkit's stage, get the fuck off of it!" (or something like that). Corino: "Do you talk to your MOTHER with that foul mouth?" She doesn't answer, but she does moon Corino. I guess that means yes. Fred Durst tells Corino to Shut the Fuck up, but Corino to wait just a second. Corino introduces himself and ECW. Durst makes fun of Corino, but it's censored so I can't tell you what he said. Corino said all he could hear next door was 15,000 drunk (big pop), stoned (even bigger pop); Durst cuts him off here, but Corino says "I'm not done yet!". We go back to Philly.
Tommy Dreamer is making his way to the ring. But, first, CYRUS!!!
Cyrus is backstage on the phone. Jerry Lynn to the interview area, which consists of a big-ass electric bingo card on the wall, a piece of computer paper with "Creative Dept." on it in big letters, and Cyrus's desk. Cyrus is wearing his "Creative Dept." t-shirt, BTW. The conversation:
"Wow, I guess this really is a bingo hall."
End of conversation; Cyrus: "The talent is so childish."
Who rocks the party that rocks Scotty the Body (right) to the ring, to a huge Raven chant.
Enter Hak-Man hits to an even bigger pop. Sandman goes around and gives random people a beer bath, including HAT GUY, a wannabe Dudley (not that wannabe Dudley, who took 3D), and some nameless guy. We'll have Sandy-Raven when we come back.
Sandman and Raven brawl
on the outside. "Raven" chant, but Styles says they're
cheering on Sandman. It'd be true later in the match, when Styles
would mention it again, but not this time. Raven blades twice on the
outside, and it's easy to see where both times; once on his feet
inbetween the guardrails, and once under the ring. Sandman sets up a
diagonal table on the guardrail while Raven does his business; he goes
to suplex Raven through it, but Raven reverses and puts Sandman
through it. Sandman does the copyrighted Terry Funk electric shock
oversell. Back in the ring, Raven throws chairs into it. He goes to
hit Sandman with one of them, but Sandman blocks with kicks and
punches. There are also two tables in the ring, BTW. (No, not FTW©).
Raven hits a chairshot from his knees onto Sandman's stomach. Raven
does HIS patented drop toehold onto a chair. Mixed chants, but Styles
picks out the Sandman chants only. Sandman throws Raven into a chair. Sandman
sets up a table leaning on a chair. Raven gets placed on a table; Sandman
goes for a slingshot somersault senton, which misses, putting Sandman
through another table. He does the Funk oversell again.
But, to overbook this match already, it's Candido and Rhino. Muchos boos. Candido lowblow on Dreamer, Rhino spear on Dreamer. Rhino then spears Sandman diagonally through a table. Leave to less, but still enough, boos. Raven rolls over, but Sandman kicks out. Raven goes to whip Sandman, but Sandman counters with a armwringer into a DDT. Lori Fullington (duh) to the ring. She picks up Raven, mimes going down on him, but then gives him a lowblow. Francine to the ring (because she technically is Raven's manager...), DDT's Fullington. Sandman whip, but this time Raven counters with an armwringer into a DDT. Raven covers, but the Impact Players are out, and they pull Dreamer out of the ring. Punches on Dreamer, but Raven makes the save with a pescado. Dreamer fights off Jason, while Credible goes to the other side of the ring and goes on the apron. Raven is back in the ring, but Sandman has his cane. Raven runs at Sandman, ducks Sandman's cane shot, but he catches Credible's. Sandman then hits the cane-assisted WCW-authorized legsweep for the 3-count. Good until the overbooking. We'll end this week with Corino and Durst.
Corino says that Durst is the epitomy of what is wrong with the USA (to ANOTHER big pop). Durst says he wants to see the real hardcore motherfuckers; Balls, Axl, and New Jack. They all show up, of course; New Jack shows up on the wrong side of the stage, but we'll let that slide. Corino says those three are wrestling in the other building, but he'd kick their ass if they were here. Axl punches Corino, and Durst holds Corino for a New Jack beer shot, Balls chairshot to the head. Durst picks up Corino again, and Jack holds him for a big-ass Axl chairshot to the head while Durst says that this is "some phat shit". Durst puts over ECW on TNN while the show ends; a big-ass ECW chant erupted after both chairshots.
Hopefully this should spike the ratings. Excellent show.Bill Barnwell
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