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WWF Excess by cfgb




It's week 2 of Excess! Let's start things off right away with a quick video package of Steve Austin throwing Kurt's Olympic medals into the river.

Trish Stratus and Jonathan Coachman are here. Coach comes onto Trish about 10 seconds in. Tonight's special guest is Tazz, who's waiting in the back. As always you can call at 1-800-LIVE-WWF, or e-mail at

Let's go back to RAW - where The Rock knows all about the WCW Title's history. He mentions Frank Gotch, Lou Thesz, Ricky Steamboat, Ric Flair, DDP, Booker T, and David Arquette. This leads to Shane challenging The Rock to a match but it was a setup for Rhyno to sneak in and Gore The Rock.

Back in the studio, Trish declares it "so obviously a setup". Coach AGAIN comes onto Trish - give it up, this gimmick is weak.

Let's again go back to RAW, where The Rock faced Rhyno later that night. Long story short, there was interferance, and cheating, but The Rock prevailed with the help of The Acolytes to successfully defend the WCW World Heavyweight Title.

On Smackdown, The Rock and Chris Jericho teamed up to take on Rob Van Dam and Rhyno. Rock couldn't overcome the interferance for a second night in a row - and wound up taking a Gore for his troubles and getting pinned by Rhyno. Big upset victory for the Alliance.

Back in the studio - Trish mentions she always gets what she wants. They continue this idiotic flirting stuff. After the break, Christian who has challenged The Rock to a WCW Title match in Toronto on Monday, will be live on the phone to answer questions from Coach and Trish, and some fans as well.

Commercial break.

Coach welcomes Christian to the show and asks how the show in Worcester was tonight. Christian says he wrestled Justin Credible tonight, and it was a good show.

Coach wants to know why Christian believes Edge's gold is his gold. Christian says they're a tag-team - and they've always done everything together. If Edge wins KOTR - then Christian wins KOTR. If Edge wins the IC Title - then Christian wins the IC Title. Trish wants to know if Edge is around now so she can say hi. No, he's busy right now.

They roll some footage of Edge winning the King Of The Ring trophy - and Christian grabbing the trophy. Christian says he was just showcasing it and letting the world know how proud he was of his brother winning that title. Trish says it sound valid to her.

Coach wants to know why Grandma Edna won't talk to him. Christian says in arenas it's hard to keep the cell phone reception - and he keeps getting cut off. Coach sarcastically blows that off and goes to the phones.

Ben from Long Island calls in. Ben wants to know if Christian believes he can be King Of The Ring someday. Christian says yeah, he thought was going to win it this year - but he was cheated. Edge went on to win it, which was as good as him winning it, so maybe next year.

Coach says Christian has challenged The Rock on RAW. What are his thoughts? Christian says he's going to become the WCW Champion - and it'll be great since they're already King Of The Ring and IC Champion.

Coach jumps on Christian with "What's this we stuff?" Trish wants to know if Edge will be with him. Christian says he'll probably be there cheering him on, like when he goes down to show support during Edge's Intercontinental Title matches. They wrap it up there with Christian, and Trish mentions to say hi to Edge for her.

Later tonight, From The Vault - Shawn Michaels vs. The Undertaker: Hell In A Cell. OH PLEASE don't clip this one!

Some people like to go shopping. Recently, the Hardys and Lita went shopping. So naturally the WWF felt obliged to follow them around.

Today Matt Hardy's at Trash and Vaudeville. It's a store with alot of different and funky outfits. Lita's actually been here before and was really excited to come by. Jeff likes to wear anything that's different and cool. Now I know who to blame for these clothes - Trash and Vaudeville. They try on different fishnet, leather, and generally different clothes. Lita likes to stick to her own guns and she's been wearing the same kind of clothes since high school. Matt Hardy dresses up like Elvis and sings "I Can't Help Falling In Love" to Jeff. Ew. Lita likes the gold skirt with the top because she never wears skirts. This all leads to a magazine shoot.

They come back and Coach says he'd like to see Trish in the gold outfit. Trish says she'd like to see COACH in that! Hah! He so had that coming.

They plug Xtreme magazine - which is a magazine dedicated to the Hardy Boyz and Lita. They're going to talk to Lita about the magazine after the break. She'll be live on the phone.

They come back - and they laugh at Shane Helms for thinking he's a super hero. Coach wonders if he wears super hero underwear and Trish looks at him with "You REALLY wonder that?" On RAW Lita and Matt got beaten with a wrench and Shane Helms won the European Title. Now with comments is Lita.

Lita's hanging in there. She fought Helms and Ivory tonight with Matt Hardy. She says she still has 2 good arms and one good leg so she'll be fine.

Trish wants to know... no, Trish says Coach wants to know what's up with Jeff - when is he coming back? Lita says Jeff was hobbling around after the bump - but he's still sore.

Coach asks how hard is it to keep women like Trish away from Matt Hardy? Lita says maybe she can do something with his brother to keep her away from Matt. Trish is speechless.

Coach is curious about the outfits, and will we be seeing any of those soon? (Especially the gold one mentions Trish) Lita says they didn't have one in Coach's size.

Trish wonders what's in store for Ivory when she sees her? Lita still doesn't feel like she's gotten revenge when she split her eye open last November. It's frustrating working with a handicap - but it drives her to be stronger.

They have to go to a break. Thanks to Lita for phoning in. Plug that magazine! After the break, Tazz is in studio.

Tazz is in studio - and he's not in a good mood. Paul Heyman calls him the most miserable man on the planet - and Paul E. knows what he's talking about.

Coach wonders why he'd leave the WWF? Tazz was just another victim to Vince's political games and he was tired about it. Steph and Shane gave him a chance, he's there!

A few weeks ago Steve Austin whipped Tazz with help from the Alliance. Tazz is proud to have Austin as his leader.

Alan S. writes in (Tazz doesn't care) and asks why he'd trust Austin when Austin's motto is DTA. Tazz asks Alan if he has a boss. If you don't do what he wants, you're out of a job. Austin is a leader who guides the Alliance. When he got whipped, it was great, he deserved it. He stood up to Austin - and no one else can say they did that. Tazz says it's the last time he got whipped. Trish says she doesn't know about that, she's pretty handy with a whip. (Oh lord....)

Tazz tells Coach he's a robot who laughs at anything Trish says. He's sitting there striking out with her. (Go Tazz!) We've established Coach is a crossdresser on the show tonight already. What's next?

Coach says it's obvious Austin's trying to get the Alliance to do his dirty work. He was faking an arm injury this week, and Tazz cuts him off asking how Coach knows he was faking? Well, Coach has a video clip from RAW that shows the main event from RAW. Steve Austin is clearly seen in the background doing stuff during the match - then beats up Angle after the match. His arm comes out of the sling completely and he doesn't seem to have any pain. Tazz laughs about it, because Steve Austin ran off with the medals. Sure they lost the match, but they won the war.

Coach wonders if he's ever had anything that means alot to him stolen. Sure, Tazz had his bike stolen when he was in junior high school. Coach says it's not like an Olympic gold medal. We'll find out what Steve Austin did on Smackdown! after the break.

They come back from the break with Tazz's video. Tazz wants to see Coach's video - then remembers he's a nobody who doesn't have a video. It's a matter of time before Tazz has his job anyway. The Alliance will swoop in - and he'll get to sit next to the hottie and do his job.

Let's go back to Smackdown! We go over the clips of Austin taunting Angle with the medals, leading to them being thrown in the river. Tazz is laughing at Angle crying again.

David via e-mail wants to know if Tazz learned any lessons coming out of Red Hook, New York. He learned to change a tire on a car. He learned how to grab people's keys and steal a car. He knows how to carjack - and basically learned nothing growing up in that area.

They bring up the medals again, and Tazz says he has never won a gold medal and doesn't need to win a gold medal. He doesn't care. It's time Kurt let the medals go, it's been 5 years. Enough already! Coach speaks for Angle and says he feels for Angle. How would Tazz feel if someone took his car from Red Hook. Tazz laughs and says it's happened already. Tazz doesn't not respect Angle - he is a great athlete. Stealing Angle's medals though was like taking his life away, and maybe it'll slow down his momentum.

Changing the subject Coach would rather talk about the old days prior to Tazz in the WWF. What were days like in the old ECW? Tazz says no one in the WWF could understand what they went through. Hardcore came out of ECW. It's not about hitting guys with chairs - it's a work ethic. They didn't have the big arenas and big money. They had to bust their asses to impress the crowd. Heyman gets alot of credit for being a great motivator. He's a very intelligent man - and gave him an opportunity. He grabbed the ball and scored a touchdown thank to Paul. Their relationship now, is that they're part of the same crew.

Amanda from Rapid City is on the phone. She wonders what spaked Tazz into wrestling and hardcore. Tazz isn't into hardcore. He just needed a job. He didn't dream of being a wrestler, he just wanted a job. He got trained, and that was it.

Coach says he's a valuable WWF superstar. Tazz jumps on him saying he's NOT a WWF superstar. How hard is it to jump from the ring to commentator? When Tazz is wrestling, he's miserable. Trish interrupts for about the 10,000th time and Tazz tells her when he's talking, she shuts up. When she talks, he'll shut up. He showed her that courtesy on Heat, and she could show him the same. Trish makes a PMS joke.

Tazz has a surprise coming up after the break. And we'll take a look From The Vault.

Commercial break.

Tazz is hosting Smackdown! live on Tuesday. Trish wonders if he'll wear orange. He's wearing orange glasses tonight - of course he'll have some.

Not long ago, the Alliance took on the WWF in a softball game at Shea stadium. Here's some clips. They raised money for firefighters who lost their lives doing their job. The Dudleys say you never know where they's a table. When they introduce Kanyon, he says there's no one better, making me laugh. Tajiri bows a whole lot on the way to the field. Foley doesn't want to try and leg out a triple, it would be embarrassing. Foley does make an impressive catch while pitching - for a non player. His running is pathetic however. Foley hits Tommy Dreamer with a pitch, and they almost come to blows. They have an arguement over a call at first, and Buh Buh tries to beat up the umpire, but the umpire reverses and takes him out! Tajiri had alot to say. And I didn't understand it at all. The WWF won the game 12 - 7.

One year ago at a WWF picnic, a woman slapped Coach and Tazz choked him out. That was cute.

Tazz says he may take his job if he wants it. He's choken him out twice - he'll have no problem doing it again.

Commercial break.

We're back and it's time to go From The Vault.

UNDERTAKER vs. SHAWN MICHAELS (with Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Chyna) (Hell In A Cell)

We skip over about the first 15 minutes of the match - and come in where Michaels hits a Superkick and the Undertaker sits up right away so Michaels bolts. I've REALLY gotta review this tape sometime. I have a copy of Badd Blood. Unfortunately, the rest of the card sucks! Taker rams Michaels into the cell and Michaels is a mess. Michaels decides there's only one way to go - and that's up. Taker follows him though, and beats him some more on top of the cell. Michaels then gets thrown off the cell and through the announce table. They manage to wind up back inside the cell, where he gets punished some more. Finally Taker signals for a tombstone and it looks like it's all over - when a now familiar organ hits and Kane makes his debut. He tombstones Undertaker, and Michaels manages to drape an arm over Taker to get the 3. Believe me though - he was no winner! He literally had to be scraped off the mat and carried to the back by Helmsley and Chyna. Great match!

Coming up after this next break, Tazz has special guests for us.

Commercial break.

We don't know who's going to win the contracts for WWF Tough Enough. This past week, they went on the road to find out what it's like to travel. They're going to the PPV, then RAW, then Smackdown! The kids helped set up the ring. They sat in the skybox with Al Snow while Al explained what was up. All the superstars came to meet them and were apparently really nice. Tazz was actually nice to them at the show. They cut promos backstage in the promo room. (I'd LOVE to get the chance to do that.) They got a chance to watch Al Snow wrestle, and had a blast doing so.

Back in the studio, Tazz has the Tough Enough chicks. Nidia and Taylor (I think that's what their names was) both work hard. 3 people quit in the first few days - and that shows how tough the business is.

They've had a bunch of different trainers. Tazz says Al Snow teaches differently than he does. Al's more of a family guy whereas Tazz prefers to be tough. The girls are asked who they prefer, and they laugh and say "Tazz".

Jackie and Tori work a little stiff with the girls, but it teaches you to be tough. Tazz got his point across and when they won his respect, it meant everything.

Chris from Tennessee calls in. He understands what Taylor's going through - because his grandfather raised him due to the fact his mother is a crackwhore. Does the fact her family doesn't want her to wrestle make her want to work harder? Taylor says absolutely - it pushes you to prove them wrong. Nidia says Al Snow has been great and supportive, and her mother as well. Her father says you have to challenge yourself.

Tazz respects the fact the 5 left did not quit. He says the others tapped out and had no place being there. He's surprised they all lasted.

They go to a personal phone conversation with Taylor. Taylor tells someone she thinks she's going to win. Nidia thinks she's going to win according to Coach. They don't seem to have problems with the fact each thinks they'll win. You have to.

With a few weeks left - they're going to push as hard as they can. Nidia wants to be a part of the WWF. Trish offers them both good luck. They head off to commercial break.

They come back and Coach asks how hard it is to be a diva? Trish gets up at 4:00am to put on makeup, and go out and do shoots. It's alot of hard work - and even when it appears they're having fun, it's still work.

Terri's in Hedonism. They have to be in certain places at specific times due to the sun's positioning. It's hard, but she loves doing down there and relaxing. Terri then does a shoot in some weird body paint suit thing. Terri says there's no such thing as too much jewelry or too big hair. She loves lounging about in pyjamas and bikinis. Life is a big journey - and it's all about learning and growing. If you concentrate on yourself - that's a cool thing. She likes to learn, even if it's a little bit, about every subject.

She's been allergic to horses her whole life. With the help of some medication though, she can now hop on horses. Everyone always wants to put her on horses - and no one knows about her allergy. She thinks they're really beautiful. If you're nice to a horse, and come back years later - they'll remember you.

Back in the studio Coach is galloping around saying he wishes he was the horse.

Commercial break.

Time to wrap things up. A reminder RAW and Smackdown! are in Toronto. Rock is making numerous appearances this week. Wednesday he's on MTV's TRL and on Conan. He's on Howard Stern Thursday. Friday he's on the Rosie O'Donnell show. And next week on Excess - Booker T. Also remember to send in your votes for From The Vault. That's it, see ya next week.


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