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Andrew F.




A couple of nights ago I saw a Halloween classic

"It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown".

First Match: Lucy Van Pelt vs. A Pumpkin
Crappy opener at first, that is until Lucy pulls out a butcher knife and viciously gouges her opponent. Holy cats it's so brutal even Linus has to run in and ask for mercy. Rating:***

Next: Charlie Brown vs. Kite eating tree.
Charlie Brown finally got his revenge against that nasty kite-eating tree that's been terrorizing him. The springtime's champion jobbed to autumn, and Charlie resolved the feud by raking its leaves in a pile.
Just then Linus, holding a big lollipop, did a running plancha, or is it a tope?, on the leaves.
The leaves got stuck in the lollipop, and all over the hardcore legend Linus Van Pelt's mouth.
Rating **** (5 if they showed him eating the leaves)

Next: Lucy Van Pelt vs. Charlie Brown
You know the gimmick, hell even Charlie knew it. I thought WCW was predictable, but jeez Lucy then produces a contract saying she won't pull the football away. Charlie runs and....Lucy pulls the football.
She points out the contract wasn't notarized. Rating **

Linus decides to wait for The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown tries to explain that Linus is confused.
You see Scott Steiner's name is Big Papa Pump, easily confused with Great Pumpkin.
Alas Charlie is interrupted.
Linus then writes that Great Pumpkin tries harder, because he's number 2.
The style sounds like the WCW fans on RSPW I've seen when the ratings come out every Tuesday. Lucy calls Linus a blockhead, I'm sure she an ECW mark.
Sally comes out; Linus hypes the Great Pumpkin as his candy-giving messiah.
She decides to go with Linus to visit the Great Pumpkin.
The GPWO is formed.

Commercial: Tweety and Sylvester go at it. Sylvester wins but feels screwed since Granny forgot to get Miracle Whip.
At least Tweety jobs, to be saved later by Grandma.
That punk ass Jerry, he never loses.

The Red Baron vs. Snoopy
I don't understand what this had to do with Halloween, I guess Snoopy's disguise has something to do with it.
Anyway, Charlie Brown guest commentates this one.
Some people don't give up; Snoopy's the same.
Even though he is the franchise he always does the J-O-B to the R-E-D.
Great finish, as if falling 1000 feet in a flying doghouse shot at by bullets wasn't enough, Snoopy stage dives off the roof, ala Jimmy Snuka. Try that Foley!
Rating: *****

The kids are dressed in their different gimmicks.
Each kid is dressed in a sheet, some wearing lucha masks over the sheet.
They decide to taunt Linus, but Sally lays the smack down, on Lucy, Violet and the rest of the group.
She must have been taught by her brother "The Rock" Charlie Brown.
Obviously, she has the hots for Linus, but if he tries to hold her hand she'll pop him.

I'm waiting for Lucy to tell Sally the real reason he carries that blanket all the time, and chop her crotch.

During trick or treating, an interesting note, just like how fans give foam heads to Al Snow, fans gave rocks to "The Rock" Charlie Brown.

At a party Lucy cuts a promo on another pumpkin. This time he has Violet help her by drawing the cuts she'll make on Charle Brown's head.
For an encore, she wins the bob for apples battle royal.
As she brags, Snoopy the franchise appears.
Not from the ceiling or floor, mind you, but from the water bucket. Top that Sting.
Rating: **

Final event: Linus and Sally vs. the Great Pumpkin
Linus is hyping this to be the greatest appearance of the Great Pumpkin in the history of Halloween.
No seriously, I think Schavione steals from Linus.
A dark figure rises from the patch and Linus marks out
"Here he is he's coming! It's really him! The Great Pumpkin!"
This goes on until he faints from excitement.
Alas it was Snoopy making another "Sting" like entrance from the pumpkin patch.
Sally is disappointed.
She goes on a tirade that reminds me of many people at 11pm Sunday night, cut off from Havoc 1998.

It turns out Linus stayed in the Pumpkin patch until Lucy carried him in the house at 4 am. Where the hell are these people's parents?

Snoopy ended the show standing on the roof of his doghouse and popping back some brews with Woodstock.
Overall: **** (Snoopy is the icon)
It would have gotten 5 stars if Peppermint Patty and Marcie wore Chyna and the Kat's Master/Slave outfits.

Andrew F.

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