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Yes, friends, I am alive. I know that my sabbatical has been longer than I predicted, but my situation has changed and I find myself in a tough spot in terms of my living situation. 

The fact that I have become addicted to Everquest hasn't helped either.

Hopefully things will improve in July and I will be back with the Good, Bad, and Ugly. Thanks for all your letters to both me and my emotional counterpart, CyanIndigo, saying how much you miss me.

I am beginning to feel a bit like Steve Austin here, hopefully my return will be equally as well-received, but less painful.

Anyway, here I am at work and I have a lunch break to throw together a quick report from Sunday's KOTR PPV which I was able to attend. This year, the event took place in lovely Boston, MA at the Fleet Center. All I can tell you about the venue is that the alley that we parked in smelled like piss and contained one run-down apartment building filled with young people doing the nasty right by the windows after the show (but I am getting ahead of myself).

Since I was with four other beer-swilling New England guys, we decided that the only logical place to go for dinner was Hooters. Yes, it is exactly like the movie Big Daddy. Pretty young waitresses in tight shirts and tiny orange shorts. I thought about Cyan the entire time, I swear. After eating way too many hot wings and watching the Red Sox lose to Toronto in extra innings, we headed to the arena.

Level 9. Promenade level. Luxury box seats. Yes, friends, we had our own private room with free sodas and snacks, a buffet table just outside, and a personal waiter who brought us pizza and beer. We were uncultured clouts who fell into the lap of luxury for three hours.

Sure the ring was leagues away but a huge screen hanging from the ceiling afforded us as good a view as anyone at home with a television set and $30.

We all settled in, grabbed handfulls of popcorn, and waited for the festivities to commence.

Quick Takes:

If Benoit had to lose the tournament, at least he went out with some semblance of dignity, but I cannot understand why they would book a guy who could really bring out the best in his opponents to get eliminated after only two minutes in the ring. It boggles the mind.

Ditto for Eddie Guerrero.

Once Benoit had lost the match, it was common knowledge that Angle was gonna take the crown this year. Poor booking leads to predictability. WCW may suck, but they are so damned unpredictable these days, it's more interesting at the molecular level than WWF. Chew on that for a while.

Angle got a bigger face pop than Jericho. In fact, when he covered Y2J for the win, the crowd counted the 1-2-3 with the ref. For a moment...a split second...the words "double turn" popped into my head. It's okay, save your "get well soon" cards for someone else. It went away quick.

Crash Holly is more over than the guy from whom he got his gimmick. What's that about? Oh, and why the hell does he still carry that fucking scale to the ring?

The crowd hated the hardcore evening gown match, and so did I. This match saw half the Luxury Box empty out for bathroom trips, food table runs, and t-shirt purchases. I have one question. Vince said that Brisco and Patterson had to fight wearing dresses. I don't recall him saying anything about makeup, wigs, and women's underwear. Ugh, what a way to kill the heat.

Lita is way over. They have got to give her the Women's Title soon. Am I telling you folks anything you don't already know?

The dumpster match was okay, I suppose, but I am tired of having to see X-Puke and Road Drudge win even though they are about as over as Bull Buchanan. As the guy sitting next to me elegantly stated, "Get rid of these guys, DX is shit!"

The cameras did not catch it, but after DX threw the Dudleys into the dumpster and walked off down the aisle, Buh Buh and D-Von emerged from the trash bin with Torrie in tow by her hair. If you were wondering where she went, evidently she was not as smart as the Dudleys and did not crawl out the sides.

They pyros throughout the night kept scaring the crap out of everyone. They were loud and hot as hell. If you have yet to attend one of these shows live, be sure to cover your ears for fear of painful rupture.

The actual tournament was not booked well at all. We should have seen Jericho face Angle in the second or third round, Benoit and Eddie should have had a match, and each match could have been longer. *Sigh* It's all water under the bridge now, but man, am I thirsty!

The main event...well...everyone expected some sort of tumultuous shakeup inside the faction. That would have added much needed depth to the event and could have gotten us prepared for some great new storylines over the next few weeks. Giving the Rock back the title makes no sense at all, unless he swerves us and turns heel to join the faction. Fat ass chance of that happening anytime soon. The crowd was into seeing the Rock win the gold, but come tomorrow, what will we all think? Exactly. 

After the cameras went off, the Rock left the arena. Vince staggered to his feet and rolled out to check on Shane outside the ring. He called for paramedics to assist and Doc Prichard came out in a white coat. Vince helped Shane up and together they walked out of the arena. Shane got a well-deserved round of applause on his way down the aisle.

The show was cool because I got to attend, but in hindsight I am not sure I liked the matches all that much. The free food was good, though.

Okay gang, hopefully you read this and liked it. I may have a bit of column-rust, but expect that to work its way out by the time I return next month. Be good, folks, and remember, reports of my death are slightly exaggerated.

Questions, comments, a ride to work? Write me at All letters will be answered or sautéed in a garlic butter.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.

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