You are here /wrestling
Guest Columns





Heya all you Web surfing fiends. It's Michaelangelo, back on the horse and back on your screens giving you my pointless, but definitively funny take on the Monday night Wrestling scene. 

Aren't you glad you clicked that link?

First off, a quick announcement. Due to my upcoming trip to the West Coast, there will be no GBU next week. Before you freak out, let me tell you that this will not be any more than a one week hiatus. I promise.

Really. No. Really.

Okay. Now then. WCW is going unopposed for the second week in a row and has a Wargames-style main event where the top four heels take on the top four faces in a quest for the WCW World Title.

The good news is that the top talent in WCW is going at it in a PPV caliber cage match. The bad new is that Vince Russo is involved in the match too. Yep, you guessed it. Russo will be walking out of that arena the WCW World Champion. How do I know? Well, if you ask Mark Madden, it's because I am an Internet jackass mark. If you ask me, it's because Russo is a predictable booker.

I just hope that I am wrong. I doubt I will be, but I hope that Booker T regains the belt in a match which sees him take down all of the competition, gives Russo his comeuppance and establishes himself as a solid main eventer and worthy champion.

Yeah, right.

In WWF, since they pulled the late night card here on the East Coast this week, expect a decent, but tame show. Rumor has it that Mona will debut as the RTC's (sorry I referred to them as the RTS a couple of times last week) first woman representative. That will likely put her in line to feud with the Women's Champion, Lita. Allow me to drool a bit at the prospects of these two talented, and naturally cute women burning up the ring. Just keep them out of rings filled with pudding, jello, or other confectionaries.

Also, expect the WWF to further the Angle/HHH feud and again try to give us a number one contender for the Rock to face at Unforgiven. Come on Benoit, let's do it to it.

Okay, let's get to the meat of the meat.

The Good, Bad, and Ugly for September 4, 2000


BAD: The band is back together? Oh, but it's not the NWO, no no. It's just the same guys that were in the NWO the last time it was formed.

GOOD: That triple cage. I have to admit. It is fierce and imposing.

BAD: The prospect that Russo will likely win the title tonight. Ugh. My stomach just turned.

UNSURE: Borash on commentary. I used to respect the guy, but since his online wrestling show has turned into a bunch of bullshit, I just don't like him. I will give him the benefit of the doubt and judge him on his merits during tonight's show.

BAD: Anyone else hate Konnan's "That's enough!" routine? Thought so.

BAD: The ICP get a tag team title shot? Oh please.

GOOD: We may get to see these clowns take some bumps tonight.

GOOD: Disco calling Madden on his word "collisional." If he'd call him a big moron, I would revere him forever.

BAD: Rey is still wearing those stupid horns. That's almost as dumb as being a white rapping clown. Almost.

GOOD: Konnan playing off Violent J's body press of Rey by saying that "fatboy weighs 350 pounds, let him press someone his own size."

GOOD: The right team won.

GOOD: Storm making Gunns run the treadmill as part of her training. That's just cool.

UGLY: The Cat's white leisure suit. Ugh.

GOOD: Madden attempting to put Booker over as the former champion. Perhaps he has started to listen to those of us who have criticized him for acting the unmovable heel announcer.

BAD: Not likely. I have one eyebrow raised in his direction.

BAD: Russo gets the stick. "I don't want to be one of the boys. I don't want to be on TV." My ass.

GOOD: Admittedly, Russo referring to himself and his teammates as the "babyfaces" was kind of funny.

GOOD: Russo "erasing" the Cat's power. I don't like the way that it was realized, but it's good that only one of them now have power. Less confusing.

BAD: Russo guarantees that he will be World Champion tonight. Of course he will.

GOOD: Russo waives the non-physicality rule against Goldberg. I hope that he gets jackhammered tonight.

BAD: Not likely.

BAD: Nash talking trash to Russo and Russo talking trash back. Ooooh. Could this be another setup? Methinks it is. They'll explain that somehow Nash and Russo knew that Sting would not be able to get to Russo and that's why he left the ring.

GOOD: Sting back in the main event. He has fought Vampiro enough.

BAD: Madden on Sting climbing from under the ring: "He came up from the depths of helllllll." Nice JR impression there.

GOOD: The huge donnybrook that results from Sting's arrival. It was exiting and got the crowd pumped.

BAD: Russo using the "I am smart so I will express it by pointing to my head" move. That gesture has been obsolete since the mid 80's. It's like the Ted DiBiase "I have money so I rub my fingers together to prove it."

BAD: Goldberg in a black vest. Who does he remind you of?

GOOD: The acting involved in the backstage arguments between Russo, Steiner, and Jarrett.

BAD: The fact that none of us really believe that there is dissention in the NonWO.

WHO CARES: So Borash got his head shaved. Why? Apparently some Internet bet that only 20 percent of the viewing audience has any clue about. Yeah, that'll put butts in the seats.

GOOD: One of the Harris Brothers tells Madden to shut up. They're OK by me.

BAD: The Harris Brothers beating up Kronik in a bar. Let's rip off another WWF gimmick. Are you heavy duty WCW fans seeing this? Can you deny that this is a blatant rip off of the Acolytes at the Friendly Tap? This is why WCW is being called WWF lite. They keep lifting WWF storylines and ideas.

BAD: Shane wanting to take Goldberg on. I guess they will job him out again. What a waste.

GOOD: Torrie turning away the Thrillers. I like that as a possible direction for her character, constantly getting Shane in trouble by making promises on his behalf and convincing him to take on more than he can handle.

BAD: Sting fighting Vampiro and Muta again? Enough already.

GOOD: A short, but well-paced match. I liked it. It did not languish.

BAD: Russo threatening to rip up Stevie Ray's contract if he does not wrestle someone tonight. You can't just "rip up" a contract to negate it. It's not that simple. If it were, why not just rip up Goldberg's contract? Let's try to stay consistent, folks.

MY that the "mystery opponent" for Stevie is Booker T. Wagers?

YEAH RIGHT: We are expected to believe that Nash is turning face tonight? Come on! Last week we saw nearly half a dozen turns and we are gonna fall for it again tonight? Sure we are.

COME ON! Stevie say "fruit booty" please!

I KNEW IT: Stevie has to take on Booker.

GOOD: This will be good if both men come out as faces at the end of this thing.

INTERESTING: Using a Booker T catchphrase at the top of his entrance theme. I would rather have had them use "Save the drama for your mama." instead of "Don't hate the player, hate the game."

HIGH EXPECTATIONS: These two should put on the best match in the history of WCW. They have been together since birth and know each other extremely well.

BAD: The announcers are spending all their time talking about the brother versus brother thing and no time calling the actual match.

OH NO! The Jung Dragons and Kronik...hmm...the Acolytes and Kaientai...nah. WCW wouldn't blatantly steal even more of that same gimmick from WWF would they? Let me answer that for you. They would and they did.

QUESTION: CyanIndigo brings up an interesting point. Is Jamie-san even Asian? If not, why can't he pronounce "Harris"?

YEAH! Three Count in da housssse!

GOOD: Kronik with a triple chokeslam on all three men! 

BAD: Adams and Clarke totally destroying 3Count. Say what you will about the boy band wrestlers, but they have real talent and should be pushed a-la the Hardy Boys.

GOOD: Kronik versus the Cat. I have no problem with this match.

BAD: I can already predict the ending. Jarrett will attempt to take a swing at the Cat with his guitar but will hit one of the Brians. Watch, you'll see.

GOOD: The Cat trying to trick Kronik into leaving the ring to get a quick pin. Nice touch.

INTERESTING: Kronik beats Cat and advances to Wargames. I am pleasantly surprised.

WOW: Torrie Wilson. I would give anything for a minor tube top slip.

OW: When did Torrie's voice become so shrill? Was that a side effect of her breast job?

BAD: Why does Douglas look so surprised when Goldberg's music plays? He knows who his opponent is, why would it shock him to hear his entrance theme?

GREAT: Goldberg's offense on the NBT. I liked him using Reno's own move against him. The gorilla press on Sanders to the spear on Douglas was a nice spot too.

BAD: Essentially de-pushing all of the NBT by having them get squashed by one guy.

BAD: The pool sequence with Gunns, Paulshock, Storm, Skipper, and the MIA. I guess the whole thing just became silly all of a sudden. First of all, you cannot become Canadian by completing physical tests. Just ask CyanIndigo. She tests me physically every week and I am no closer to being Canadian than I was a year ago. Secondly, why does the MIA have binoculars. If we can see them from where the camera is placed, they can surely see Storm without the help of ocular enhancement. Finally, the whole schmozz in the pool was pointless, unfunny, and a waste of the talent that all these men (except AWOL) have.

COOL: Arn! I love his comment about Pamela's state of wetness. 

GREAT: Ric Flair will be there next Monday! Whooooo!

BAD: Can Madden possibly refrain from saying "Snootchie Bootchies" once when an image of Hancock appears? I guess not. Loser.

ANOTHER RIP OFF: A marriage angle? Hmm. Where have I seen that most recently?

BAD: Vito is gonna get jobbed again tonight, but not before the NBT are made to look like a bumbling bunch of wimps.

EH: The verbal exchange between Sanders and Vito. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't great.

BAD: Sanders counts his team as five, there are six of them. I counted Staziak out but he wrestled anyway. Yep. Stupid bush league mistakes.

BLEAH: Why do I feel like this match wasted my time? What was the point of this whole escapade? Did it elevate Vito? Not really. He got his tail kicked. Did it elevate the NBT? No. It just showed that it takes six of them to beat one guy. A waste of my time.

I GET THE FEELING: That Kronik is not exactly on the same page as the other good guys? I have a feeling we will see a turn tonight, and it will be Kronik turning on Booker and Sting to join the NonWO.

BAD: Why is Daffney in the promo for Fall Brawl? Does she have a match they have not announced?

GOOD: Jarrett and Sting lead off the festivities. These two can go and I don't mind watching them go.

INTERESTING: Steiner in a nose guard?

I HOPE...the top of that cage is solid. If it breaks out, someone could really get hurt.

OUCH: Pretty stiff shots on the Harris Boys by Kronik. You can hear the sound of the pool cues on their backs.

WOW: I am surprised at how good this match is. I am actually quite into it, and so is the crowd. It's got some good action and it is telling a story. 

BAD: Once Nash hits the ring, we forget about what is happening above.

OOPS: Somehow I missed seeing Kronik and the Harris Boys drop out of the match.

PREDICTION: I am beginning to see a possible ending to this. In a "brilliant swerve," Russo will end up with the belt and he will hand it to Nash at the last second to allow him to retain.

BAD: Sending Booker up to the top of the cage for the belt because we all know that there is no way that Nash can or will climb up there himself.

COOL: Brett Hart stops Goldberg from leaving! Holy! That was cool!

FOR A SECOND...I thought he was Scott Hall.

I KNEW IT: Exactly as I predicted. The same false-turn shit they tried to pull last week, they pulled again tonight. Did they expect the few fans who were taken by it the last time to fall for it again tonight?

ADMITTEDLY: Up to the very last second, the match itself wasn't bad, even with all the run-ins. 

OVERALL: Not a bad night, actually. A number of my predictions did not come true, including the one where Russo becomes the champ. That's a very good thing. Most of the matches were quite solid and the main event got the fans pumped. I would have liked to see something unpredictable happen and have Goldberg walk out the champ tonight and upgrade his Fall Brawl match with Steiner to a title fight, but I guess we can't have everything. Good effort from nearly all of the roster tonight and Bret Hart's appearance was a pleasant surprise.


GOOD: Angle is slowly becoming less of a joke and more of a devious heel. That is the natural progression for his character and he plays it extremely well.

BAD: Spousal abuse angles are really dangerous ground to tread. Let's hope they resolve that particular issue tonight.

GOOD: Interesting card tonight. I am looking forward to the Kane/Benoit match myself.

UGLY: Stephanie's pink cow shirt. I expect a number of bovine jokes to circulate on the net this week.

GOOD: HHH comes out and solidifies his heel-ness by professing his pride in doing what he has done in the past and even going as far to accepting the "asshole" chant.

BAD: We all know that it was Angle that called the police. It's surprising that nobody points the finger at the Olympic hero.

FUNNY: Foley stirring up trouble by accusing Stephanie of calling the cops. Her facial expression upon reacting to his accusation was classic McMahon.

FUNNIER: Foley then accuses HHH of turning himself in. He plays it off like a bogus Sherlock Holmes. Heh.

BAD: Going a little long here. Let's speed it up.

FINALLY: Foley brings up Angle's name as the possible culprit.

BAD: This whole "mystery" thing is getting a little overdone. Let's just get GTV on the TitanTron to show us who really did it.

INTERESTING: Mick lists off the suspects one by one and Angle is last. I wonder why.

GOOD: Angle wishing everyone a happy Labor Day before he is accused.

WHAT? Test? What the hell? Oh man!

COOL: Bringing Test into this whole thing by making him the one who called the police. Reminding him of how Stephanie and HHH got married out from under him. Now this is a great way to circle back on an old angle and swerve us all. Well done.

BAD: Foley calling HHH the WWF Champion by accident. Whoopsie.

GOOD: If memory serves, the last time Test and HHH had a match, it was a damned good one. I am looking forward to these two tie it up in the ring.

OBSERVATION: I have long been a fan of Test and I see him on a short list of guys who should be pushed higher on the card. Perhaps it's time to move him away from the T&A thing and realize him as a potential main event singles wrestler.'s unlikely at this time. I predict a Pedigree and a pin for poor Test.

GOOD: Angle helping Test beat HHH down. His assistance was a rather interesting element.

BAD: The Rock is the WWF World Champion. Why is his storyline not the top card storyline?

GOOD: Rocky comes out for commentary and reminds us all the HHH is not the champion, he is.

GREAT: Benoit baby. 

BAD: I see it as unlikely that he will win the match tonight. Kane will never tap out.

GOOD: Rumblings on the net are a fatal four-way match with the Undertaker, Kane, Benoit, and Rocky all battling for the belt.

GOOD: Rocky putting Benoit over in his commentary.

BAD: The only thing monstrous about Kane is his monstrous gut.

UGLY: Jesus! Kane dropped Benoit right on his head during that reverse suplex attempt. Luckily Benoit was okay.

BAD: Yet another #1 contender's match ends with a DQ. That fatal four way is looking more and more likely.

GOOD: Seems as if Lillian Garcia has come into her own as a ring announcer. I haven't heard her make a stupid mistake in a long time.

GOOD: D-Von jumps all the way across the ring to hit Farooq in the jewels in their "whazaaaap!!!" spot.

BAD: The Acolytes lose yet another match. Looks like Kaientai are gonna get their asses beat, yet again. Yep. There they go.

NOW Foley putting Eddie and Chyna in situations which strain their relationship? Aren't they on the same side as he is? 

GOOD: I am not sure of their real motives, but I do have to say that the WWF's efforts to get their viewers to involve themselves in the nation's politics is exceptional. Kudos.

BAD: I am not sure that having the candidates debate on a wrestling show is exactly what they want to do. How many people who paid for a Smackdown show are going to tolerate having to hear a couple of Presidential hopefuls talking to one another for 15 minutes?

GOOD: Angle and Guerrero's in-ring action. These two can go.

GOOD: Chyna has gotten a lot better in the ring. Her selling has definitely improved, now if she could get a little better at offense, she might just be destined for main event status.

INTERESTING: Eddie "accidentally" pinning Chyna for the I/C title. I think we are sowing the seeds of dissent between Chyna and Eddie. 

BAD: Chyna has to stop crying whenever she loses a title belt. She is much tougher than that.

GOOD: Eddie slyly convincing Chyna to forgive him.

BAD: He should watch out for that TV camera...if Chyna watches the video footage, she will see that devious smile.

GOOD: The match between HHH and Test.

BAD: As quickly as it starts, the match is over, and Test is down for the 1-2-3. I would rather have seen Test pick up a tainted victory over HHH. Perhaps with interference from Angle.

UGLY: A naked Mideon. 

FUNNY: Mick's reaction to Mideon picking up the clipboard. Ugh. My sentiments exactly.

GOOD: Stevie Richard is coming out without a limp. Word was that he was injured on Smackdown. It's good to see he is at least walking alright.

BAD: Another man will help them? Damn. I was hoping for Mona.

WHAT? Venis? Come on.

INTERESTING: Looks like another Venis turn. He's a face again?

COOL: The WWF is genius. They use the two men who the PTC were most against to help show the world what their views on censorship are. I like it.

BAD: No Mona. *Sigh* Maybe next week.

FUNNY: Crash eating a banana and drinking milk. I love the little boy image he has going. It's over and it is very defined and original. Malenko sticking up for him? Just because? Eh.

BAD: The Iceman in a feud with the Bossman. Time has told that Traylor is a heat sponge and what little Malenko has is precious and should not be wasted on him.

GOOD: Edge and Christian trying to make up ailments to get them out of their title defense. "Genetal warts rule!" Classic stuff.

QUESTION: Why do they keep making sequels to Highlander? I mean, if there can be only one, why have there been four movies?

BAD: I sense another title change here. Bossman has the X-Pac disease. He never jobs in singles matches.

GOOD: The hope that Elroy and Malenko will interfere in this match.

GOOD: Blackman rules. Just wanted to let you know that.

BAD: The Bossman sucks. I just wanted to let you know that too. No-selling asshole.

GOOD: Blackman wins and takes out Crash and Malenko too. Yes, he rules.

QUESTION: How many cacti does Mick have now? 

FUNNY: CyanIndigo just brought it to my attention that the person on the target that Mick's throwing darts at is Al Snow. That was a LOL moment.

GOOD: Here come the RTC again. Maybe Mona will join them now.

BAD: I am guessing that this tag match could see one of the "good" guys turn and join RTC. Dunno. My instincts have been wrong this week so far, but hey, maybe this time I am on the ball.

BAD: What an anti-climactic victory. Road Dogg hits the Goodfather with a flying forearm and gets the pin?

WAS I RIGHT? Val did not turn, but he was "kidnapped" by the RTC. Likely he will be "programmed" to be one of them.

GOOD: Jericho and Lawler against Tazz and a mystery opponent. Lawler and Jericho are heat machines. It's just what Tazz needs to get over as a heel. However, they have to give him a pinfall tonight if they expect this match to elevate him at all.

BAD: The way they played this match. I'm sorry, but as potentially entertaining as they thought this could be, it just plain sucked. Nobody benefited from this match. Having Jericho simply make an entrance and then leave is a complete waste of his talent. Same with Tazz. Thumbs way down.

GOOD: Tazz taking out Lawler during the break. That's what I'm talking about. Now let him get a victory in the ring, please.

INTERESTING: Austin making a statement on Thursday. Hmmm. Curiouser and curiouser.

WHAT? Kane on commentary?!?! How things have changed. I guess we now know how Edge and Christian are going to retain.

GOOD: JR Playing the terrified commentator. He knows how to put the talent over at his own expense.

BAD: Kane's mask makes it impossible to understand him. Do they test this stuff before they try it?

GOOD: Kane's words about the Rock's like being a formula for success. I like this angle they have for him. He's actually the anti-hero and if things were played correctly, he could easily be cheered for his goals.

GOOD: UT looking good in there tonight. That flying DDT he landed on Edge was impressive.

BAD: JR spends too much time talking to Kane and prompting him for his pre-written lines. There is a match going on, you know.

BAD: Benoit's run-in. Not sure what the point of that was, especially since he got his clock cleaned by UT.

TERRIBLE: The double chairshot to the Rock. From this camera angle, you can see that they missed by a mile.

OVERALL: A decent show tonight. There was a title change, and a couple of storylines were developed. I think by burying Test, they are missing a great opportunity with him. Likewise, I was not happy with the Tazz/Jericho/Lawler "match." However, most of the in-ring action was solid and I have few complaints. The main event was particularly well wrestled with special props for UT, who put on a hell of a show in spite of reports of knee and back problems.

Both companies had impressive outings this week. I can't really complain too much about either. I do have one last subject I would like to put to you, however.

Last week, I was kicking around in a WCW chat room when I got into a fierce debate with another person about the endings to televised show. I am of the mind that sometimes the heels need to end the show victorious, but from time to time, the faces also need to have the upper hands when the cameras shut off. The person with whom I was debating felt that it was okay that WCW has ended its last month's worth of televised shows with the heels getting the better of the faces.

His argument was that WCW was saving the big face victories for the PPV's and helping build suspense to that point by letting the bad guys win the day until then.

Sorry, but that's crap. How can you build a balanced feud when Nash and Company keep pummeling Booker T into the ground each week? Also, considering the pathetic buyrates for WCW PPV's lately, it is unlikely that most of the audience will ever see the faces get retribution.

That's assuming that Nash agrees to lay down for Booker T at all.

What do you think? Drop me a line at All letters will be answered or flushed.

I am Michaelangelo and will be for a while.

[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author



Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission