NOT THE GOOD, BAD, AND UGLY
Hey all. Michaelangelo here. I have some things to say about the world of wrestling and about my role here on [slash] Wrestling.
In the past few months, I have slowly become more and more disillusioned about the state of the wrestling industry. When I first started watching the WWF back in the 70's and 80's, it was exciting. It was about the hero prevailing and the villains being run off with their tails between their legs shaking their fists in the air vowing revenge. It was the closest thing to a comic book superhero that real life ever presented a skinny little boy with glasses like me. I was hooked...enamored...it was a match made in heaven.
As I got older, I discovered that the real world was just as challenging to me as King Kong Bundy ever was to Hulk Hogan. My focuses slowly began to fall elsewhere and I drifted away from the sport in favor of young adulthood, and a legal drinking age. I stayed away for a couple of years, until one day, over a game of Marvel Superheroes with my best friend, I was drawn back in.
As we bashed our fingers down on the Saturn controllers trying to take one another out, my friend called me a "jabroni."
"What the hell does that mean?" I asked.
He was all too glad to provide information. I heard about The Rock, Steve Austin, DX, and The NWO. I also got the scoop on old heroes I once knew like Hogan, Nash, Hall, Sting, Flair, and Vince McMahon. I decided to tune in the following Monday.
That was it for me. I was back in the fold. I scoured the Internet to fill in the blanks and find out just how all that was came to be. I immersed myself in Sports Entertainment. I remembered why I loved it. Sure it had changed a lot. Gone were the days of kayfabe and the illusion that the endings are not fixed. That was okay by me, wrestling was wrestling and as long as they surprised me now and then, I was a happy guy.
So happy was I that I decided to take up recapping Monday NITRO on the now-defunct site called "The Source." I did that for a while, and enjoyed it, until the webmaster vanished off the face of the earth and I began searching for a new home.
July of 1999, I created a new Internet gimmick, The Good, Bad, and Ugly. It was crude at first (some may argue it still is) but it was easy to put together and summarized my feelings quite well. Good old CRZ was more than happy to post it on his fledgling site and I was more than happy to have a place to air my dirty laundry.
The hit counts were good, the feedback was largely positive, and I felt like I had carved out a small place for myself here on the Internet. I had a place that I could scream my grievances and injustices about he Monday night Big Two wrestling offerings and actually be heard by a few hundred people. It's all been great...up until recently.
These days, I have felt like I am spinning my wheels. Like the GBU format has run its course a bit. It's cumbersome, unrefined, and largely repetitive from week to week. I try to stay original, but I feel like it just ain't happening.
In addition, the drivel I am watching on a weekly basis is enough to make me want to puke into my shoes. I have been subjected to the Natural Born Thrillers bleating like goats, force fed Mark Madden's inane commentary, and expected to buy a completely contrived HHH heel turn (Yeah, like he was behind it all the time. My ass! They decided it was impossible to turn Austin or Rocky heel and just gave in to Helmsley's backstage whining about wanting to be the top heel instead of the third fiddle face.) It's all too much for me to stand.
Sickness put me out of commission last week. This week it's an inescapable wave of apathy and disgust. It's time for a change, lest I swear off wrestling totally.
What does it mean to my loyal and supportive readers? My apologies first off. I know many of you look forward to my weekly epic and believe me, if it weren't for you all, I would have stopped a long time ago.
I will return. I just need some time to get my head together and come up with some other sort of format for a column. As far as the GBU is concerned, for now at least, consider it shelved.
I hope those who have enjoyed my efforts in the past take the time to read what I put together. I hate to disappoint, but if I am not wholeheartedly behind something, it tends to suck. I don't want to submit something that sucks and I am certain you don't want to read it.
So that's it. My heart poured to the computer screen. Take it as you will, just try not to hate me (unless you already did.)
That all having been said, let me talk a little about current booking practices.
I am redefining the term "shocking swerve" right now. From now on, "shocking swerve" means "last minute decision." Think about it. How many swerves were we treated to in recent months? You know how I feel about HHH forcing himself into the Austin/Rikishi angle, but let's look at WCW.
The NBT joined Sean Staziak in turning on "Coach" Nash last week. Let' see. They worked a breakup angle with the Perfect Event for over a month and a the last minute they reveal that it was a trick all along. If they wanted to beat up Nash, why did they have to put Palumbo in the line of fire three times and have Reno get smashed through a table to do it? Why didn't they just jump him one day? That's what they did to Orndorff, so why the ruse? I'll tell you why. It was a "last minute decision," likely made by Nash who still has pull on the booking committee. Nash probably wanted to get some cheers since his erstwhile and consummate heel partner Scott Hall signed with another federation. Without him to help sell T-shirts, Nash needs to be a fan favorite to get the extra merchandising green.
Major Gunns also decided to trick her friends in the MIA by screwing General Rection out of the US title and joining Team Canada proclaiming her pride to be a Canadian. Why didn't she do this at the PPV and allow Storm to keep his title? What's with waiting until two weeks later to help him get it back? Having her turn at the PPV would have had just as deep an impact on the MIA and would have made a whole lot more sense.
Apply my logic every time you hear Jim Ross or Tony Schiavone scream, "It's a shocking swerve!" or "Why <enter wrestler name here>?!? Why?!?!" There are no more swerves, just last minute booking changes based on number of factors including wrestler injuries, crowd responses, and the ever-present "so-and-so has the booker's ear" syndrome.
You read it here first. Now discuss.
I am still Michaelangelo and will be for a while.Michaelangelo
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