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Steven Anteau




I didn't like doing the column so I'm just gonna review Japan/indy tapes once in a while.Also before you put this up run it through spell check.I don't have one.

The tape starts with some highlight from the event which kinda ruins some of the bumps.It cuts to the crowd sweating to death than interviews Nakamaki and Tarzan Goto.This is hillarious.If you look 3 seconds before Goto's interview it shows Cactus practicing with the ladder.I don't know why but that's funny to me.Than we see all the participents coming to the ring.There's the horse fucker...I mean Tiger Jeet Singh.Than we have an interview with the fat piece of horse shit...AHEM...I mean Tiger Jeet Singh.Just yelling at the camera than at the end he screams (I think) "Now GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" and that's all I can make out.Gannosuke interview,I don't speak Japanese sorry.

Tiger Jeet Singh vs. Mr. Gannosuke (Barbed Wire Board Barbed Wire Chain Deathmatch)
Jeet scares a few people with his stupid sword.Gannosuke puts the chain on his wrist but Singh attacks the ref.Gannosuke tries to help the ref but is attacked as well.They just brawl for 5 minnutes while Jeet does shit than when they get back to the ring more shit happens and ends with Singh choking him out on the BW board.YAY!
Now we get to see Gannosuke puking in the sink.

Before we see Terry doing a retarted interview saying there can only be one King and he will be the King of the Deathmatches.Leatherface sounds just like Owen Hart and says it will be an honor to beat a legend like Terry Funk.
Terry Funk vs. Leatherface (Barbed Wire Board Barbed Wire Chain Deathmatch)
Leatherface chases a few fans with the chainsaw.He puts on the chain and attacks Funk.He nails him with the chainsaw and throws him out of the ring.Just a little brawling as Funk gets strangled with the chain while on the board.Funk tosses the chain across Leather's back a few times.They climb a fence for what seems like a cool bump but sucks.Terry stangles Leather for a few seconds and they come back down.STUPID!This match is so out of order.It's like Leather and Terry are taking turns.Leather beats Terry a few times and puts him on a table (and these tables don't fuckin break).Leather climbs the ropes and Terry moves.Terry pulls him down and the table flips over and it looks pretty painful as Leather lands right on his ribs.Terry brags him in the ring and nothing happens.He wraps the chain around his fist ans nails does the 3 hit combo.Terry grabs the leg and the fans go nutz.Nope,no toehold,Terry picks up the win.
Terry is backstage celebrating."That's one sunafbutch,bring all those fuckers on"

Gordy gives a retarted interview that makes no sense and lasts mabe 30 seconds while Cactus cuts one of the best of his life.I like the Mick interviews better when he's a heel.
Cactus Jack vs. Terry Gordy (Barbed Wire Baseball Bat Thumbtack Deathmatch)
Cactus beats Gordy to the bat but stomps him and grabs it.Under BW bat rules the first one to get the bat gets to take a clean shot to the opponent so Gordy should've had to hand the bat over but nooooo.He gives Mick 2 shots to teh back and the bat dissapears.They automatically fall out of the ring and Terry gives Mick some tiff potato shots that bust him open.They go on a atble and Cactus is piledriven on it.They are sent back to teh ring.They tease a tack bump but it never happens.Cactus does the leg drop on the apron and sends Gordy back outside.He ascends the ropes but gets caught halfway.Now the first time I saw this I had to rewind and see it again.Mick is thrown off the second rope to teh floor back first!He doesn't put his feet down to protect him....HE TAKES IT LIKE A MAN!!Very sick thud.Gordy very obviously says "ya okay" and Mick responds "yah,throw me in".He does.They tease the tack bump again but to no avail.After a hiptoss Cactus crawls around teh ring and lays his head in teh tacks.GORDY STEPS ON HIS HEAD!This is quite gross.Mick has around 12 tacks aound his right ear and screams while pulling em out.Gordy starts hulkin up.Gordy grabs Mick and says "ready,2...3...go" and POWERBOMB IN TACKS!Cactus has a good 20 of em in his shoulder.Gordy goes for another but misses.Cactus goes outside and gets pummled some more.Cactus gains the upperhand and throws Gordy back in.He grabs the bat and pounds it on gordy's hands.Gordy punches him some more and the ref breaks it up.As the ref and Gordy argue Cactus throws tacks in gordy's face and hits a double arm DDT in teh tacks ith not one touching Gordy for the win.tack count...12 in Mick's head,20 in his should,40 in his arms.
We tahn see Mick walking to the back.Gordy now does a historic interview that has been quoted many times by people who probably don't knwo they are quotng him."Shit,fuck,I can't belive the fucker beat me,fuck".Mick can only dream of interviews like this.

No interviews thank god.
Shoji Nakamaki vs. Hiroshi Ono (Loser-Must-Retire Barbed-Wire Baseball Bat Thumbtack Deathmatch)Nakamaki gets the bat first and he circles Ono.Ono is ready and BLAST..BLAST..2 HARD bat chots to the chest.Ono screams and kicks Shoji and grabs the bat.Same thing.He drops the bat never to be seen again.They circle some more before doing a tie up.Shoji is backed to teh ropes and Ono slaps him a bunch of times.Shoj screams and does the same.They tumble outside and brawl a little.Ono somehow gets busted.They get back in teh ringa nd do a little test of strength and headlock type stuff.Boring!.They tumble back outside and Hoji has a gusher goin.They brawl some more and arrive at a second ring with...TACKS!YES!they tease a little and Shoji locks on an STF.Looks stupid but blood drips all on Ono.Quite gross.Shoji bulldogs Ono just hort of the tacks and the fans go "OHHHHH,so close to someone dying".Shoji moves the tray and gioes for a second.OH NO!Ono reverses and slams Shoji on em with a back body drop.Nakamaki has a good 60 tacks in his back and 5 in the back of hhis head.Very sick.Another back drop.Ono attepts another only to have Shoji fall on him.Shoji pulls tacks oput of his hand and POWERBOMBS ONO IN THE TACKS!This is sick and the look on Ono's face makes ya cringe.2 count!Shoji tha hits a reverse russian leg sweep and Ono lands wight on his hands for the win.
***3/4 (too short)
Interview between teh two.Show gratitude and Ono shows us his arms.This is descusting.HE is bleeding EXTREMELY baddly and has tacks all in his arm.

Takashi Okano vs. Flying Kid Ichihara
This is an ok match but the fans ruin it.No joke,you can mute the TV and you won't notice a difference.Quite sad.Nothing big happens.Just a few flips over the top rope.Okano wins with a roll up.

Iceman vs. Kamikaze
Absolutely horrible.Ice Man is horrible.All his moves are sloppy.HE doesn't even try and the fans are again asleep.

Terry Funk vs. Tiger Jeet Singh (Barbed-Wire Board Glass deathmatch)
Watch this only to hear Funk cry like a girl.Just a crowd brawl for first 10 minutes.Singh loses his sword so he gets a cloth chair and beats Funk's arm.Nothing big.Than they get to the ring and Terry is thrown onto the glass.Singh than pokes the chair in his arma nd Terry grabs his leg creaming and crying.It is hillarious.Singh throws him back in and does this "I'm humping the rope" thin.He pokes Funk some mroe a\with a pocket knife.Funk than Hulks up and beats the crap out of his.Cactus comes in and is gonna hit Terry with the sword...OH NO!He hit Singh by "accident".1...2...3 and Mick breaks it up at teh last moment but Teryr still won.
Terry sayin "2 down,one to go" over and over.

Cactus Jack vs. Shoji Nakamaki (Barbed-Wire Board Spike Nail Board Deatmatch)
Mick comes out to his cool music (it's not Megadeath,wish I knew who it was) and inspects the nail board.Out comes Shoji and here we go.Shoji has no bandages while Mick has stuff on his arm and head.they do a little technical wrestling.Nothing happens.Than they go outside.Shoji falls on the BW and punches Shoji a few times.He sets the BW board against the ring and whips Shoji into it.He's reversed and nails the board.This is a great pic.He sticks his teeth out and does this (AHHH,MY ASS) face,Clasic but jumps back and hits a clotheline.He throws the board at Shoji and shoves the nail board in the ring.In goes Shoji.Mick puts the board in the corner and shoves his face in the naisl and Shoji wriggles behind him.Mick turns around and is shoved ass first into the nails liek 5 times.A little more punching and Shoji is thrown outside.Looks like we got another "Let's kill Nakamaki match" goin on.His arm nails the nails and Mick follows him out.They brawl a little and Mick scoopslams him.The fans go nutz but sigh when he doesn't hit the nails.Than the board is placed on Shoji as Mick ascends the apron.MICK ELBOW DROPS HIM WHILE UNDER THE NAILS!Mick says "Ya ok" and Shoji replys "ya".Mick throws him back in.HE throws him to the corner and headbuts him.Shoji kulks up and does a good 5 of his own.Mick goes enar the board in teh corner and is shoved into it another 7 times and trhown on teh BW board.A piece gets stuck in his arm.Pretty sick.2 count.Mick gains the ofense again and suplexes Shoji on the board but can't get him p all the way.Tries again but again misses and gives the "fuck it" face.He gets to teh middle ope and does an elbow drop for 2.Double arm DDT on the BW and a 3 count for Foley.
Cactus cuts another great interview.I won't spoil it.

Silver King/El Texano vs. Headhunters
This is an ok match.Mainly a squash but teh mexicans get a little offense in.Nothing big except one of the HH ddoes a sunset flip to the outside and another hits a moonsault.the end is a superbomb.

Interview by Dan and one by Goto.Let me explain about Goto.I consider him an amazing brwaler and he often uses weapons in his match.That esplains a little.
Dan Severn vs. Tarzan Goto
Starts with some tie ups and Goto goes outside and grabs a chair.Taunts Dan but gives up.Some more tie upsa nd Dan nails some nice suplexes.They fall outside and Dan gets nailed with a chair.Goto gets a bottle and Dan grabs a chair.Goto goes to nail him with the bottle but Dan blocks with teh chair.Both get thrown away.Goto punches a few times,chiar shot and retreats.When Dan recovers he snap.I love thos part.Dan starts hruling chairs into the ring for liek 5 minuites.He throws a good 20 of em.Goto and Dan have chairs.Double block and Dan hits a few suplexes before choking him out.
Dan cuts an interview saying he wants teh IWA Title on the line next time.Gotta see a rematch ebtween these two.Goto cuts an interview...LEARN ENGLISH DAMNIT!

Cactus Jack vs. Terry Funk (No Rope Barbed Wire Barbed Wire Exploding Board Time Bomb Deathmatch) Starts with some punches and Mick claps him for it.Tie ups and Mick is sent ass first into the BW.More brawling and thegy got to teh outside.Mick grabs a BW spool and nials Terry with it.Back in the ring.More punching.Terry fals on teh board and POOF!This looks weak but for some reaosn people always say it's amazing.Terry shakes a bunch.Mick pummles him and Terry gets the advantage.He sets the board against the ropes and piledrives Cactus through it.More brawling and POOF!Mick takes a bump onto teh explosives.The board is in teh corner and mick is thrown onto it pretty hard.More brawling and Mick takes a backbody drop ont the board pretty hard.Lands arm first which cause a sick scra.As Mick crawls around an ass fucking horse coems in...wait that's Tiger Jeet Singh.He pounds Terry in the throat with teh sword a bunch of times while Mick puts the last explosive board in teh corner.They set Terry up and whip him face first into the exploive for 2.Jeet leaves.Double Arm DDT and anotehr 2.the sirens go off!!!Mick with another double arm for another 2.Hits a aswinging neckbreaker and runs.Terry gets and falls.3...2...1...BOO...WAIT...poof?!?Just a little poof.Nothing big.FUCK!THE EXPLSOIVES WERE SHIT!Terry gives the "I didn't do it" face as the fans boo like crazy.Trying to save the match Mick grabs the ladder .Nials Funk pretty hard with it and climbs the ladder.ELBOW OFF IT!2 count.Climbs it again and has a .9 Muta Blade.Terry pushes him off and he lands squarely on teh BW ropes and tears his arm up BAD.Mick covers him anyway and wins it.
Mick cuts an interview as his music plays.Is handed the trophy,and wants Terry.Terry left!I WANNA SHAKE HIS GODDAMN HAND!No.Cut's to Singh and Mick."I anted to shake his hand but no,he was hurt,WELL I WAS HURT TO!"Just than a certain pile of shit pops in and says "There will eb many many more time."

We close with Funk crying and holding his hands crawling into the abulence.

Fianl thoughst on tape:Very good.Has some bad matches but ahs a few GREAT matches.I suggest all to see it anyway.If it weren't for this tape I doubt DM would be as popular as they are today.This is the highest selling DM tape ever.

Steven Anteau

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission