You are here /wrestling
Guest Columns

Sharon Austin




Greetings, sports entertainment fans! Well, here I am.....OK, let's get on with it! Well, everyone's been talking about the problems WCW is having. I say put away your hankies people, Ted Turner still has more than enough money to rectify the situation. No wait, I mean AOL has more doesn't matter! Unfortunately, it's not a financial problem, it's a booking one! Well, I'm not getting into this, there's more than enough columns on CRZ that dissect this problem and offer solutions! ( Why doesn't Madden pay attention to those?)

Anyway, I want to discuss the little company that could-ECW! I have to hand it to Paul E., despite the injuries of their top guys and the loss of a few to WWF, they still manage to put on good shows every week! The angle of presenting Cyrus as the office guy against the company is a stroke of genius! His excitement at Rock N' Bowl is truly funny! Cyrus is a great heel and really golden on the stick. I've never seen him wrestle but I heard him say this past week on the LAW ( that he will be challenged to an actual match soon!

I also enjoy Joel Gertner, a lot of his comments are priceless! His little dirty limericks are amusing too and let's not get into his chicken dance when he gets all excited! I find myself really enjoying the ECW heels- the Impact Players, Tajiri, Steve Corino, Rhino, and Cyrus! Lance Storm & Justin Credible are really good together and Dawn Marie has really grown on me. I wasn't sure about her at first but her airhead remarks are funny! I also commend Paul E. for allowing Masato Tanaka & Tajiri to cut their promos in their native language-hey we get the gist of it!

And as I've said before-the same people can have matches but it doesn't get boring, i.e., the Tajiri/Super Crazy match last week-these two have consistently good matches. Tajiri with his stiff kicks and cool Tarantula move and Super Crazy with his high flying lucha style-these two are golden in the ring. And I have to agree with my compadre, Rebecca, on the great heel promo Francine cut this week! She was great! I've only been watching ECW for around 8 months now and I'm impatiently waiting for my local Blockbuster to get their older PPV's so I can check out the golden age of ECW.

So let me preface what I'm about to say with an apology-but what's the deal with Raven? Initially I was behind him when he came back to ECW but then he turned into a big fat whiny crybaby! I wanted to say 'Come on man, suck it up!' And what kind of finisher is blowing your nose and then sticking it in your opponent's face? YUK!!!! And geez, Sandman is turning into Road Dogg-most of his shtick is his entrance! Don't get me wrong-I marked out big time, seeing him up close and personal but geez! The crowd sings the song, he smokes and drinks a couple of beers AND??????

Now to be fair, I know these two have quite a legacy in ECW but I'm like Rhino, I wasn't here when it was happening so what are you going to do now? With the abundance of tag teams in the WWF, I'm still at a loss as to why Vince signed the Dupps. A hillbilly with a rectal itch? Oh yeah, that's a character I want to see! NOT! What did Vince see in them? I believe they're a part of the Omega Wrestling crew which includes the Hardys, Joey Abs and 2/3 of 3 Count. But so far nothing about them stands out...except that rectal itch....EWWW................

Now Jazz is pretty impressive but considering even Lucas admits the WWF writers don't know what to do with women (who actually wrestle) so she's better off where she is. Damn, girl, that gore from Rhino looked painful! I was thankful to hear the crowd boo Rhino after he did that-usually ECW fans don't seem to like women. Another guy I love is Steve Corino-his promos are the best! I loved his Dusty Rhodes impression-it was flawless! Hey, I'd call him the new American dream!

Random Thoughts~

  • Ok, first of all, it was great to see Rey Mysterio back on Thunder! He looked great and mmm mmm, if he was eying me and blowing kisses the way he was at Paisley? would be the Artist formerly known as the guy I came to the ring with before I dumped him for Rey! Well, it wouldn't fit on a TV screen but it would be true!
  • OK, let me get this straight. First Lenny and Lodi are gay, then they're brothers, now they're hypnotized by the sight of Miss Hancock...'dancing'? So I guess there is a cure, huh? (Are you happy now, GLAAD?)
  • Wow, Mae Young-awesome bump! You go, lady! No, I mean it-GO! NOW!
  • Off topic- OK, in this car commercial, the car is passed around on top of a mosh pit filled with people. And the line on screen actually says 'drive on roads, not people'-just who needs that reminder?
  • Exactly who is John Basedow and why is he on my tv so much?
  • Can anyone explain to me just why WWF wrestlers wet themselves down before a match? Jeff Hardy looked sexy as hell but he wasn't wrestling! (And unlike Rebecca, I'll cut Lillian Garcia some slack. I'd be flustered too if I was standing that close to the Hardys!)
OK, my hormones are enveloping me..I'll take my ball and go home now.....

Until next time,
[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author



Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission