You are here /wrestling
Guest Columns

Sharon Austin




Greetings sports entertainment fans! Well, what a week, eh? Let me start this column with an apology-hey, I'm not so insecure I can't admit when I'm wrong. To the mighty Shawn Colton, I am so sorry I confused you with Sean Shannon-Shawn was the guy mentioning Rebecca and I on Delphi. When CRZ & Martin pointed out my faux pas, I hastily wrote to Shawn, apologizing profusely and cool guy that he is, he forgave me. Thanks Shawn! (And thanks to Martin for giving me his addy.) I also send a sorry to Sean Shannon, evidently this guy has a reputation and I didn't mean to embroil him in anything. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.

I also want to declare this a hormone-free column; I realize that it's mostly guys on this site and though you may want to hear me wax poetic about my bountiful (natural) breasts, you don't necessarily want to hear about the lustful images that dance through my head while watching the WWF roster. But before I start let me say this-has the silicone in Trish Stratus traveled to her brain, rendering it inoperable? (Sorry Butch) I can't believe she actually prefers greasy Val Venis over that OTHER quintessential studmuffin, Matt Hardy! OK, I had to say that, now let me try to regain some credibility....

This weekend I risked life and limb, turning off the basketball game to watch the ECW PPV-never mind there were only like 4 minutes left and the Lakers were down 17 points! The crowd at my cousin's was incredulous that we wanted to watch that 'fake' wrestling. Thankfully, they left once the remote was safe in my hot little hands and I left it on the PPV. Unfortunately that meant I missed the Balls/Tanaka match! By the time I saw it, Balls was hugging Tanaka. Damn! Well, check out our own Mr. T's recap to see what you missed.

I read another recap (on another site) and I'd like to know what drug this guy was on-TOO MUCH KID KASH?????? I have nothing against C.W. Anderson but Kid Kash is awesome! This recapper also didn't give a crap about Jazz and salivated over Elektra! PUH-LEEZ! I've lost all respect for you, NC! Oh my, it's horrible when your heroes let you down....Let me stop, he wasn't my hero. Anyway, I can't help but think of Russo when I see talented performers like Tanaka, Tajiri and Super Crazy-if he had his way, we'd never see them because they don't speak english! Promos are cool, Vince, but given a choice between talking and action-I want action!

By the way, can we do a Janet Reno and send agents to Mexico to grab Super Crazy? I missed him at the PPV. The 3-way dance was interesting, although ECW seems to have a lot of those. I'm glad Mikey has gone back to in-ring action, those promos are getting very strange. I wasn't watching ECW when Mikey was first there, and lately all he'd been doing was a Renfield imitation. On last week's hardcore show, he was great against Justin Credible and he was great in this 3 way match too.

It's also great to see Steve Corino in action this time too-I love Steve on the mic but I started wondering what he was doing in ECW when he never wrestled- just talked about it and ran away from fights. The blood was a bit excessive-but hey they're EXTREME!- and I could've done without Dusty but all in all, a good match. Well, always expect a good match from Tajiri-although I love him a heel, the man is impressive with a capital I. I really didn't expect a whole lot out Rhino/Sandman, mostly because Sandman seems to be all entrance theme and singapore cane. That gore through the table was impressive, though.

And what would an ECW PPV be without an insane bump from New Jack? Can anyone tell me if New Jack actually wrestles? I've been racking my brain trying to remember if I've ever seen him do an actual wrestling move. Garbage can, pizza cutter, stapler, stop sign, vacuum cleaner, and guitar-any wrestling? Don't get me wrong, I like New Jack but I'm just curious....

The main event was kind of lackluster to me. I like Lance Storm and Justin Credible but it seems like neither was into the match-or maybe it was just the crowd. I want to talk about crowd reactions but not now. It seems like I was watching then before I knew it, it was over. Not like it was so exciting, the time flew but it just seemed like it was over quickly. And now Lance is gone; I'm going to miss him in ECW-go check out his wonderful commentary at sounds like a very sweet guy. I hope WCW uses him in the right way, he's a very talented wrestler! I guess they'll put Dawn Marie with Tommy Dreamer so the feud with her and Francine can continue. And I add my name to the list of people hoping Tommy Dreamer ends up with that belt (sorry Rebecca). The man has done everything he could for ECW, I hope he gets to be champ one day.

OK, the highlight of the night was definitely the RVD/Jerry Lynn match-you couldn't have told me those guys were out previously for leg and foot injuries-they looked freakin' fantastic! And yes, Scotty did turn and boy, I thought RVD re-injured his leg the ugly way he fell after that push. Those guys looked like they were seriously hurting each other. And RVD with his show-boating- he's very amusing. But he deserves to show boat-the man is awesome! While I understand Fonzi's meddling, it's not like Rob needs it. But that's no diss on Jerry Lynn, he also didn't need the network stooges coming in. I'm glad to see him finally get a win over RVD, I hope he gets gold around his waist soon too.

Well onto my other favorite fed-was it me or was Shawn Michaels not his usual sparkly smartass self? And why didn't he stay and face HHH and Rocky? I guess that's supposed to make me order the PPV quicker so I can see just whose side he's on, huh? Yeah..sure..whatever. Well, I'm not quite as down on this idea of an Iron Man match as Rebecca is-but I'm not so much of a mark that I agree with Kevin Kelly who says the HBK/Bret match bored him and he thinks HHH/Rock will be better. I didn't grow up watching wrestling, it's not even been two years for me and even though I was introduced through Crash TV, I rented that Wrestlemania and was enthralled with this match.

If I had known the background of this match, i.e. Bret hating Shawn, I probably would've been even more into it! But I have some faith that this will be a interesting match-Rock haters bring up his 5 moves while I think of whenever I see HHH (knee!knee! knee! Oh, a chair! A sledgehammer! knee! knee! pedigree!) Well, it'll either be good or suck mightily. We'll see.....

Things I definitely don't get-

I don't get why they're bringing up the Survivor Series '97 screwjob again-can't we just let it go?


Why are the Stooges back with Vince? He's arranged quite a few beatdowns on them in the past. Why would you try to help him again?

And why is Test helping Corporation DX? First of all, Stephanie humiliates him then DX breaks his nose like 4 times! Does he have selective amnesia-or is that what I'm supposed to have while watching this? Was Tori ever a man? Something about her doesn't quite look right to me and when she talks, I think of Nicole Bass. I am SO looking forward to her getting wood at the PPV.

The crowd reaction at the Radicals-aside from Eddy, none of these guys get anything! Actually the crowd reaction or lack of at pretty much anything besides Rock, HHH or Vince, oh and let me add the Worm and Too Cool/Rikishi dancing. I'm starting to dread when I see those ugly yellow glasses! But the people pop wildly for it and until they stop, I guess it'll happen at EVERY show.

And you know I love the Rock but he is not Copernicus! I can see chanting his name when he's out there but I've heard the crowd chanting it when he has nothing to do with the segment! Hell, they chanted it when we knew he wasn't going to be on the show! Sure, he's the top guy but he's not the only guy, OK?

What is going on with the Hardys? They have no storyline, no feud, no mic time and lately it seems like their matches have gotten shorter! They're not on Smackdown or Heat this week so it seems like a given that they have no place at the PPV-what happened? Why aren't they going after those tag team belts? Why aren't they talking about 2Blonde's newfound ego trip? They're going to waste and I don't like it!

Well, that's it for me. Until next time...........................

[slash] wrestling

Mail the Author



Design copyright (C) 1999, 2000 Christopher Robin Zimmerman & KZiM Communications
Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission