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Guest Columns

Sharon Austin




Greetings, sports entertainment fans! I'm back with some news and views but let me start out with some shout-outs and shilling. If you've not done it yet, please check out my compadre Rebecca's latest Rant, the girl has it going on. I'm not going to do a political rant, I find myself feeling rather apathetic about politics. That doesn't mean I'm NOT voting, BTW, too many people suffered and died to give me that right so I make sure I go the polls. No, the political scene, to me, reflect the Who's lyrics ' Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.' (Sorry, Rebecca :) )

I also send a shout to my girl, Heather, who's probably wearing her Mets tee as we speak! By the way, she's still got that Ken Shamrock site but now she's done one on the Dudleys! Go visit her site tablesrus at!! And last but certainly not least, I send a big hug to my favorite U.K. wrestling/b-movie fan, Marvellous Martin. He used to write a column here that was full of wit, intelligence, self deprecating humour and all round goodness! Take a trip through the CRZ archives and check him out, you'll see what I'm saying. On the plus side, he does still write, he's now branched out into movies, music and Jean-Claude Van Damme's hair!! I'm NOT kidding, go to to read the Hellion's stream of consciousness. (Biased? Mmmaybe..;) )

Okay onto wrestling-I know I'm not the only one left unimpressed by this Rikishi/Austin angle; maybe it's because I'm not a big fan of either of these guys. Or maybe it's because the whole thing seems so slapped together. I was talking to Rebecca about Rikishi's initial confession and how weird it sounded-"I repeat, I ran over Stone Cold Steve Austin!" Well, who were you trying to convince, Rikishi? So here we are, a big dancing ass vs. Superman-wow, excitement abounds! Well, I admit , I loved Rikishi's taunting Stone Cold and trying to run him down again. But come one-we all know Stone Cold isn't going to get that ass backed up into HIS face! But can you hear that? Somewhere, JJ is crying, wondering what Rikishi did to get the rub (no pun intended).

I guess I shouldn't be surprised that they're using this match as the only ad for No Mercy because it's Stone Cold Superman! Again, the belt is secondary which really isn't right. I'm hooked on the angle between HHH, Steph and Kurt-yeah, I'm a sucker for romance. And yes, faithful Rocky mark that I am, it's time to remove that belt from his very nice waist. One thing I can say about HHH, he made that belt seem like it was the most coveted thing to have. The Rock is so over, the belt doesn't matter. And can you just imagine HHH's fury if Steph helps Kurt get that belt?

I like what they're doing with the Conquistadors-when they first appeared, it was SO obvious they were Christian & Edge, complete with their 'Beavis does Cornholio' Spanish accents. But now they're having a couple of other guys play them. Now, with this tag team title shot at the PPV, who wants to bet that the Conquistadors win then are unmasked as Edge & Christian? I won't be happy to see my Hardys lose the belts but I love the chemistry between these teams so I won't really complain. I was happy to see Matt Hardy looking fine and fit on Smackdown, although he was probably working through the pain.

Let's look at the rest of the PPV- this Dudleys Tag Team Elimination Table Invitational: Dudleys/RTC/Tazz & Raven/LoDown/Too Cool/2Blonde. Wow, and you get eliminated once you go through a table. This should satisfy the crowds' chants of 'we want tables!'. But all these teams make for a natural clusterf-ck! I would much rather have seen the Duds take on Lo Down or Tazz & Raven. Still stand by 2Blonde showing up as the Conquistadors. Winners: the Dudleys, of course!

Steel Cage Match with X-Pac vs. Jericho- Oh joy. I don't know about this match. Anyone who reads this knows I don't like Xpuke and I don't know who Jericho pissed off to be stuck in this feud with him. Of course, I'll enjoy this, if only to experience the joy of seeing the grasshopper thrown up against the cage wall a few times! I really hope Jericho wins though, like before, Xprat will probably attack him on RAW the next night. Winner: Jericho

IC match: Eddy Guerrero vs. Billy Gunn- I've been amazed by the pops Billy's been getting.I really thought they'd have him going straight after DX but I really like how he's stepped in to defend Chyna's honor, as it were. I think it's too soon for him to get the IC belt, though, not to mention Eddy's a heel and heels ALWAYS cheat! Hmmm.....wonder if Eddy will be joining RTC? Winner: Eddy!!

Triple H vs. Chris Benoit- I like the way these two have developed a feud, and Benoit brings out the best in most of his opponents so I'm looking forward to this match. I don't see Chris really beating HHH right now, though it would be VERY cool to see that. But I don't see that fitting the plan.....(like I actually KNOW what that is) But I'm going to say winner: HHH, he's that damn good, you know.

The Rock vs. Kurt Angle- *sigh* I LOVED Rock's promo on Smackdown. I spoke my views before, I'd like to see Kurt win this. It would certainly add some new twists to the HHH/Steph story, as well as making Rocky go back to the pursuit. So I'm going out on a limb and saying winner: Kurt Angle.

Stone Cold vs. Rikishi-*big sigh* Hearing that Rikishi will be going out with a knee problem, I think it's pretty obvious this match belongs to Superman. I'm also thinking that something will happen that will expose Rikishi as a scapegoat for this driver angle. The rumor mill says this 'Who Hit Austin' angle will continue through a few of the PPVs so I say this sets Rikishi up as the first domino to fall. Winner: Stone Cold (like there was ANY doubt!!)

This PPV doesn't look like great shakes but I'll be there to see where this is all headed. We'll see how my predictions go. Anyway, on to other stuff-

I was so disappointed to see TNN canceled ECW! Thank goodness I get the hardcore show or else I'd be feening for my extreme fix! What a tough break for such a good company. I really hope they get a new tv deal soon (and on a channel I actually have!) I'd read the rumor of Vince McMahon buying WCW, I think he'd do better with giving Paul E. his money. But then, I guess buying Ted Turner's company is much more satisfactory, huh?

Raven JOBS to Road Dogg???? *shudder*

Well, I'm taking my toys and going home now. Enjoy the PPV, guys!

Until next time..........

First Lady of the Oracles

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission