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Guest Columns

Sharon Austin




Well, greetings, sports entertainment fans! I'm BAAAACCKK!!! I've had real life intrude a bit into my cyber life but I think I can say I'm back to stay now. And even though I find myself shaking my head at some of the WWF storylines and booking ideas, I'm still a faithful watcher. Oh I admit a part of my absence lately has been due to plain old burnout-actually, my compadre Rebecca expressed it very well in her last column. The WWF product is slowly going stale; but I guess having no real competition does that to you. I mean, I still try to give WCW a chance, after all they have some real talent in their ranks but even I was perplexed to read the glowing reviews viewers gave Nitro on another wrestling website. Were they watching what I was?

From the moment, good ol' Oklahoma appeared, I was wary. And by the way, while even I admit J.R.'s better days might be behind him-Mark Madden isn't fit to shine his shoes! Or block his hat! And what is his referring to women as 'yaks'? This man must not OWN a mirror! It's pretty obvious this guy was put there to make Tony Schiavone look good. Never thought someone COULD...And in yet ANOTHER recycled angle, we get the 'don't come in the ring________or else you'll be arrested!' God, how many times have we seen this? I guess they had to do something with Sid, after all, he's in the main event at Starrcade! (Guess Russo isn't going meet Rocker after all, huh? )

Speaking of PPVs, I had the pleasure(?) of catching ECW's Massacre on 34th Street and despite all the financial problems, I thought Paul E. did a good show! The opening match with Swinger & Diamond against Yorke & Matthews was good. I'm curious to see how Dawn's turn will help Simon & Johnny but I guess we won't hear Simon accused of being gay anymore? We'll see...I was happy to see Balls actually wrestle, I'd gotten so caught up in his 'chair swinging freak' persona, I'd forgotten he could! It was GREAT to see Nova-we don't see him enough! I could still do without Electra though....

Rhino vs. Spike wasn't the COMPLETE squash I thought it would be but geez-Spike is crazy! It was very nasty to see him puking too! Speaking of puking-what is the deal with Mean-I mean Blueboy & Jasmin? It seems obvious that Paul E. only hired her to put naked pics on the website! And in reading one of Blue's commentaries talking about where he was trained and the people's surprise that he actually CAN wrestle, just left me really confused. Hey B-how about WRESTLING then? Yeah, we know your girl is an ex(?) porn star-it doesn't need to be shoved in our faces! (Wait-I know there are guys out there who disagree) Either that or just go ahead you two, have sex on camera!

I loved the Super Crazy/Kid Kash against Mikey/Tajiri match! It was great to see the sinister minister back too. This was THE match of the night! Lots of high spots, done VERY well. Now as much as I like Tommy Dreamer, I really don't enjoy his all around the room matches. C.W. certainly put him through his paces though. Oh, I didn't mention much about the tag team belt match because I missed it. But I knew they weren't going to bust up Roadkill & Doring-don't ask me why, I just knew. I like the FBI-that skinny little Tony Mamaluke is another crazy one, I can't believe the bumps he takes!

I was disgusted to see Jerry Lynn once again tossed out of the main event but seeing the exchange between he & Cyrus at the end left me with high expectations. I'm kind of hoping he doesn't go to the WWF, their roster is jam packed already and I'd hate to see him lost in the shuffle. I'd like to see what develops between him and Cyrus-THE BEST heel in the biz! I also didn't really get the end of the main event, what with Sandman running in and taking the belt but I love Steve Corino! Have ever since I first heard him cower out of a match with a whiny 'I hurt my appendic!' He is just too funny!

I read a recap on another website and the guy basically trashed it, saying they needed RVD and he was really missed. Well, I didn't give him a thought during the whole show! It's my opinion that ECW is Paul E, not RVD! I don't what the hold-up is with them getting a tv deal, they're a talented fed.

So now we have YET another WWF PPV upon us and I guess I'll be watching it...the card's not completed yet. We're supposed to see more matches booked on Smackdown *sigh* I know I sound like a broken record but I really wish Vince would cut these PPVs down to bi-monthly. Give a feud time to simmer instead of just tossing stuff together a few days before. Hey,he stepped on my foot- PPV match! I'm not going to make any predictions right now, I'd like to see the complete card first.

So I'll just comment on other stuff-

  • I want to say 'hear! hear!' to Rebecca's pleas last week to give the Hardys some time off! And I suggested she send her angle concerning the Hardys/Lita & Raven off to J.R. and Pat Patterson! It was a great idea!

  • A belated 'welcome aboard!' to Todd Thomas! He would send me feedback often and I'm glad to see he's sharing his wisdom with everyone now!

  • LOVED Rock's RAW promo-he had me crying!

  • I was so tired of the King ranting about Al Gore-if I want political views I'll watch CNN or MSNBC! Do your job and comment on the matches!

  • Hey to Greg for putting together some classic ECW stuff on tape for me. YOU RULE!~

  • Hi to Ryan, Lewis, Tan, Butch, Jet, Shawn (You definitely rule!), Jerry, Pat, Josh, Kurt and Dale-hope you guys are okay...

  • A BIG HUG to my amigo, Rob!

  • A 'three-fold utopian dream' to my sweetie (and you KNOW who you are ;))

    I found myself getting caught up in the negative muck of the wrestling internet community and thought taking myself out of the line of fire would help. But guess what? It didn't and it occured to me, why let some narrow minded petty people infect me with their misery? I like wrestling and I like writing about it. To be attacked for my views is pointless and it seems I'll be attacked whether I write or not so why bother? So I'm back and if you like my column, thank you. If you don't -oh well, can't please everybody!

    Until next time,
    I am my own little wrestling champion :p

    First Lady of the Oracles

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