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Rebecca Cerese




Hey All! I don't really have time to write a column this week, but after Vinny Mac's huge return last night, I couldn't resist. So here is my quick version of Rebecca's Rants (but since it is practically impossible for me to write a short column, this probably won't be that quick! )

I'm telling you, I may not like Vince McMahon as a person, or agree with everything that he does, but there is no denying the impact he has in this business. When he walked out of the limo, there was an instant electricity in the air. Hell, I felt it and I was watching on TV! Now that's power. Instantly, Stephanie got out of HHH's lap and ran out to meet her father. HHH reached him first and got cold cocked for his troubles. The crowd goes crazy. He comes out, cold cocks his son, whacks him with a chair, strips him of his ref shirt, and then counts the three that will give the fans what they want...their beloved champion in the main event at Wrestlemania. Now that's a return, and I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't marking out just a little while all of this was going on, OK, I was marking out a lot. Now this is how I am hoping it will play out...Vince has decided to help the Rock, not because he loves the Rock or the Rock loves him, but because it is good business. Vince is a smart business man, he know the Rock is his money wrestler. Without the Rock there would be no WWF right now, (in reality if the Rock suddenly left, I'm sure Vince would find something else to keep the momentum going, but for the storylines sake lets just say this is the case) and Vince could no longer sit back and watch as his kids ran wild, drunken with power, and destroy his company, so he came back, saved the Rock's career, and stuck it to his kids at the same time. I can even see it playing that the Rock wants no part of Vinny Mac's help, and that would be even better. The Rock doesn't need anyone's help, nor does he want anyone's help, but Vince tries to help him anyway, because he knows that the Rock is the centerpiece to his wrestling empire. Ok, so we have the Main Event in place for the biggest PPV of the how about the undercard?

I think he biggest problem the WWF runs into is not building up under card feuds. I mean, the biggest PPV of the year is 3 weeks away, and the only match that is getting any hype at all is the main event, which is now totally different. The only other officially announced match, the tag team title match has gotten no hype what so ever. In fact, the Dudleys are stuck with Mark Henry and Mae Young, and Christian and Edge are having problems picking up any wins since their big one at No Way Out. Allow me to rant for a minute. I really don't understand what the WWF is doing here. They should have the Dudleys stalking Edge and Christian, much like they stalked the Hardys before the Rumble, but instead, Buh Buh Ray and D-Von seem preoccupied with putting Mae Young through tables, and making Mark Henry cry. Don't get me wrong, in a totally perverse way, I love seeing Mae take those crazy ass bumps, esp. the one she took on this week's RAW, but it doesn't really serve any purpose, other than to give the Dudleys more heat. And by all the cheers they got from putting Mae through the table, I think they are getting the wrong kind of heat. So why not get back to building up a rivalry between these two teams so that their match at Wrestlemania might even mean something. And how about, throw the Hardys into the mix as well. I mean this budding rivalry with Head Cheese is ok, but the Hardys should not face Head Cheese at Wrestlemania, nor should they face the Acolytes. They should be in a triple threat match against their top rivals, Edge and Christian and the Dudleys. Nothing else makes sense, and honestly, I don't want to see anything less than this. And from the different responses I have received from my column, it appears I am not alone in this way of thinking. I read that at a recent house show in Albany, this was one of the featured matches....let this translate to a match at the Big Show!!

Ok, so I have been obsessing about this horribly putrid "she devil" angle...I know I need to get a life, but what can I say, anything involving Christian keeps my interest....So I think I may have figured out where all this is going. When Edge and Christian are together, Terri makes them lose. When Christian is by himself, she makes him lose. When Edge took on the Bossman in singles competition without Christian even accompanying him to ringside, Terri helps him win (since when would Edge need Terri's help to get a win over bossman?), then when he returns to tag team competition with Christian, she hires the Acolytes not just to win over them, but to beat Edge's ass. I think she is trying to tell Edge that if he drops Christian and pursues a singles career with her as manager of course, he will have great success, but as long as he sticks with Christian in the tag team ranks, he will be nothing but a loser. This is the only thing I can figure out, plus with all the talk about a big singles push for Edge this makes sense. In the mean time, where does this leave the least respected #1 contender for the Tag team belt, Christian. I know I always go on and on and on about Christian not getting respect, but it really borders on ridiculous. I mean he still does not have a shirt of his own, plus a glaring example was this past Thursday on Smackdown, when he took on Esse Rios for the Light heavy Weight belt, neither Michael Cole, nor the King mentioned that he was a former LW champion himself, in fact he won it in his first ever match in the WWF, thank you very much. Plus, he wasn't even given 2 freakin minutes to showcase his talent in this match, it was interference by Lita, Edge gives her a spear, and Christian gets dq'd! What the hell is up with that!! Anyway, I know it doesn't matter how many times I hope that Christian will get the respect he deserves, it seems to fall on deaf ears. Ok, you've heard enough on this subject from me.

So where does leave the other WWF superstars for Wrestlemania, we don't have a clue, and that is a huge mistake. I mean, we can guess that Kane and X-Puke will have some sort of gimmick match to end their year long feud, but yet nothing has been announced, and on Raw this week, the two didn't even get in each other's faces. Where was Kane during DX's match against Too Cool? Where was X-puke during Kane's (why the hell is he fighting) Big Bossman match? I know there are still 3 weeks, but if Kane is obsessed with X-Puke like they want us to believe, not one TV show should pass, without Kane getting involved during X-Pac's matches. Its called buildup folks, and we need some desperately!!! Which leads me back to my previous question. Why the hell was Kane in a match against the Bossman, there is no back story, there is no current story, and why is Bossman still on my TV screen. Give Kane good people to fight. The guy has laid down for everyone, he has made every other guy on the roster look good, not its time for someone to make him look good, and the Bossman ain't gonna cut it folks....

Ok, not lets try and sort out what is going on in the Euro/IC division...We got a Angle/Jericho feud, you throw Tazz in, and then there are rumors about Chris Benoit being thrown in as well. I think there is definite potential here. I say sign up a four corner elimination match, with Texas Tornado rules for the IC strap at Wrestlemania. All four of these guys in the ring at once, and if you get pinned you are eliminated. The match continues till two men are left, and one pins the other or makes him submit. This will allow 4 of the biggest stars in the WWF to fight in a great match for the IC belt. I mean think about the potential for this match people, plus it makes sure all 4 of these guys have a spot on the card, a great spot too. And oh yeah, no bullshit run in clusterfuck endings like Bob Backlund running in and putting on his crossfaced chicken wing submission move. What the hell happened during that match last night? It started off solid, and then degenerated into a giant clusterfuck! Just let these guys go at it. Also, why bring Chyna out and then not have her help Jericho after he gets knocked out, I mean the match was no DQ for god sake. She should have ran in and pulled Angle off of him. I just didn't understand the ending to this match at all, and then of course they cut away before we have any idea what is really going on. And by the way, if Benoit is going to join the IC hunt, don't you think you should do it pretty soon...I mean we only have 3 weeks people...

I want to take this time to say congrats to Dean "Stinko" Malenko for picking up his first belt in the WWF. I really enjoyed his match against Esse Rios, despite the fact that it got a little sloppy at times. Too bad the crowd didn't really seem into it. Finally, the LW has a little prestige with the man of a thousand holds holding the belt. Maybe he can strengthen this division, and then if Christian gets relegated there, it won't be such a demotion from where he is now.

A giant GODDAMN to Eddy Guerrero for his insanely stiff powerbomb to Lita, and of course to Lita for taking it. I cannot wait for Eddy to return to the ring and actually wrestle. I expect great things from him, and I know he will deliver.

Ok, back on the few matches I mentioned are about it for established rivalries going into the biggest PPV of the year. We need some more stuff to be put together so that this years Wrestlemania doesn't mirror last years lame ass, thrown together at the last minute card. Where is Rikishi, D'lo, Test, Road Dogg, Saturn, Malenko, and Eddy, Val Venis, Head Cheese, Too Cool, Crash Holly, the Acolytes, and the list goes on and on. None of these guys are involved in anything even remotely resembling a storyline and they need to get in one now. We will not settle for some matches thrown together for absolutely no reason, it didn't work last year, and it won't work this year. So now that the Main Event is firmly established how about focus the next few weeks on building up your undercard, because in many ways it is the under card that makes or breaks a PPV.

Hey, what matches do you guys want to see at Wrestlemania? I would love to hear your thoughts. You know where to email me. Thanks, as always for reading.

Rebecca Cerese
[slash] wrestling

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