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Rebecca Cerese




Hey All!! And welcome to the Pre-Wrestlemania 2000 edition of Rebecca's Rants. And of course I am Rebecca, and I'm here to talk about the WWF's premiere PPV of the Year Wrestlemania. On paper, I can say that Wrestlemania is very...uneven...with the top three matches being honest to god blockbusters, the mid-card matches being solid, if not a bit strange, and the lower card being a collection of who the hell booked this crap...but maybe they will come off better than they look on paper. In any case, since I absolutely suck at predictions, I will once again forego doing any, but I am going to go through the matches, and write what I WANT to happen. All I have to say is that at least with the top three matches, we are guaranteed a better show than last years crapfest, so for that I am excited as hell...

Anyway, onto the Rants...

First and foremost I want to point out that the WWF put on one of the best hours of programming ever this past Sunday night on Heat. It is no secret that I am a huge Christian and Hardy Boyz fan, so for me Sunday Night Heat was pure heaven. Finally, the WWF has allowed Christian, Edge and the Hardys to actually SPEAK...and WHAT are they actually giving them personalities, and characterization as well? I seriously couldn't be happier. I thought all the guys did a great job during their interview on Heat, and I hope the WWF feels secure enough to give them the mike more often. It looks like they were at least slightly pleased, as they allowed Christian and Edge to come out on RAW and deliver commentary during the Hardys/Radicalz match, in which they also did a wonderful job. Ok, so I could gush on and on about this, and I'm sure Sharon will have something to say on this matter as well, as we have been busily discussing this turn of events. Basically, I am just ecstatic that they are giving these guys the chance to go to the next level. Hell we know they have the talent in the ring, but in the WWF you need a defined character in order to achieve true heat. It looks like despite Matt calling them "blonde haired, tight wearing super hero named babyfaces", the Hardys will be the faces, and it looks like they are turning 2blondes heels. That is fine with me, because personally, I couldn't' be happier with the new super-aggressive style of Edge, but especially Christian... Besides actually giving these guys mike time, they of course delivered 3 great matches in 2 days. The two contests on Heat, with the Hardys being upset by Kaientai, and the 2blondes being beaten by Y2J and Tazz, both saw good quality wrestling take the forefront, with a great storyline being furthered by the outcomes. Of course this went a step further on Monday, when Edge and Christian once again cost the Hardys the win against the radicals. Good storytelling, and excellent build up to their match at Wrestlemania. Man, this is going to be a freakin war. I wonder what Edge has in mind when he talks about "evil intentions" for the ladders. Of course this is the match I am most looking forward to, and I will write about what I want to happen later in the column.

As good a build up as they gave the triangle ladder match, that's how bad the rest of RAW was in building up other matches on the card. I felt that the Main Event on RAW was way too overbooked, and came off as sloppy and a giant clusterfuck. I really didn't' like it. As much as I enjoy Vince being back, he is doing what he always does that gets him in trouble, at least with me, and that is he hogs too much of the spot light. The fatal fourway elimination match should be about the wrestlers. It should be about the feud between HHH and the Foley, the hatred HHH has for the Rock, the history between the Rock and Foley, and wherever Big Show fits into this equation. It should not be about the McMahons, but yet they are taking center stage. Vince's biggest enemy is his own ego, and I definitely think it is getting in the way here. Of course it is no secret that I want Wrestlemania 2000 to be Mick's night...but more on that later.

So lets take a look at what the WWF is offering us for the biggest PPV of the year...shall we...

I have no idea what kind of order these matches will go I am just going to list them as I remember them....

Battle Royale for the Hardcore title: I believe their will be 13 participants in this me it seems like its Tazz and a bunch of jobbers who are lucky to make it into the Big Show. I really don't know how this is going to work out in practice, but here is what I hope happens. Since Tazz has come to the WWF, I feel the WWF has not used him correctly. He needs to be seen as a destructive machine...on Sunday night against 2 blondes, he looked really sharp, as it seems they are finally letting him show us what he's I say, let this Battle Royale be a complete squash. I think the Holly cousins (the only non-jobbers in the bunch) should fight amongst themselves and eliminate each other. Then Tazz comes in and eliminates everyone else!!!! And he does it in a timely fashion, something like under 5 minutes. The Hardcore belt can then take on a serious meaning again...not that I don't thoroughly enjoy Elroy's...I mean Crash's 24/7 reign, but Tazz needs a good program, and this can be it. He wins the belt, and it becomes like his FTW belt in ECW. After Wrestlemania, he goes on a tear, defending his belt in true Hardcore fashion.

The Kat w/Mae Young vs. Terri w/Moolah in a Kat fight: Ok, this is my bathroom break match, so I really don't have an opinion on this. I just read the Wrestlemania will have a M rating, so that means we can potentially see breasts. I hope for all the men sakes' out there that it is not Mae Young for Moolah who show the puppies...God did I just write this...

T&A vs. Headcheese: I don't know about this real build-up, no real rivalry, but I guess they wanted Trish Stratus to be a part of WM, which is understandable. I like both of these teams, so I am happy they are on the card, I just don't know about the excitement factor in this match, aside from how excited the men get when Trish Stratus walks to the ring. But I've seen Test turn it up before, so perhaps this match will surprise us. I see T&A coming out on top of this one...they are a new team in the midst of a push, and what better way than by picking up a win at WM.

Bull Buchanan and Big Bossman (or the B.B.'s) vs. Godfather and D'Lo: Finally, D'lo has returned to TV, but to my chagrin he is still dressed like a freakin pimp. Man, D'Lo wins most wasted talent award so far this year as he's stuck in this dead end angle with the talentless Godfather. Again, I don't know about the excitement factor in this match, although I know D'Lo can turn it on when he wants to. So this is what I want to happen. I see B.B.'s giving these guys a stiff match, of course D'Lo looks great out there, and the Godfather, as usual stinks the place up. Godfather gets pinned, and D'Lo throws off his bright orange vest, and frog splashes the Godfather, turning heel, and finally breaking away from this god awful angle. He gets the loss, but he wins his freedom...

Ok, so that's the lower-undercard as I see it...not to sure how these matches will play out, there could be a few surprises, but to me they leave a lot to be desired, but the good news is, it gets better from here...

Kane/Rikishi vs. X-Puke and Road Dogg: This is one of those, we had no place to put Road Dogg, we had no place to put Rikishi, so lets make this completely bizarre tag team match at Wrestlemania. I still don't know how I feel about this match up, because on paper it looks like no contest at all. I mean realistically, RD and X-Puke should just be squashed by these guys...and I have a feeling they will. For the past two weeks, somehow RD and X-Puke have gotten the upper hand on both Kane and Rikishi. So I fully expect I will get what I always wanted...a bloody X-Pac with Rikishi's ass in his face to boot. Out of respect for my dear friend Heather, I really hope Road Dogg doesn't get his ass kicked too bad, but for sure I see Kane and Rikishi dominating this match. Oh yeah, of course I see Tori getting involved, and possibly getting a face-full of ass herself...which I would love, despite finding that end move repulsive. But some people just deserve it and she's one. Hopefully, Kane will beat up X-Pac enough to quell his thirst for revenge, and this match will be the last of this rivalry at least for a long, long time.

Quick side note: I just gotta give props to my man Kane for his awesome match against Angle on RAW this week. One of the highlights of the show for me! And as much as I love Kane, I have to say it was sweet as hell to see him get 3d'd by those damn Dudleys, and of course to see him take that crazy bump through the table. Say what you want about Kane but he has done it all to make other's look good, its time someone returned the favor.

Radicals vs. Too Cool and Chyna: As much as I love Chyna, I am seriously hoping for a Radical Night at Wrestlemania. These guys work their asses off every time they go out for a match. They consistently put on the best pure wrestling matches out there, and they deserve a better program than against Too Cool. At the last PPV they lost to Too Cool but this time Rikishi is not in the match, and I am really hoping they come out on top. They need the big win to get them over. I hope that Scotty to Hotty is about to do the worm, and gets leveled by Eddy or Perry once again, this time, they are able capitalize and get the win. Of course if they beat the crap out of Chyna they will get huge heel heat which is always a good thing. I must also say that I am ecstatic that Eddy is back in time to take part in this match, I think he will play a big role, and get his usual Eddy Sucks chants big time. In terms of after WM, I heard rumors that Perry Saturn will get into a program with Tazz ...I say Hell yeah to this...the battle of the Suplexes...sounds good to me.

Now we get to the Meat and Potatoes of the card...the top three matches...the matches that I along with just about everyone else out there are looking forward to the most...

Triangle Ladder Match for the Tag Team Titles (aka Rebecca and Sharon's Dream Match) with the Champs the Dudleys vs. The Hardys vs. Edge and Christian. Ok, I won't bore you with more gushing about my favorite teams again...but I will say this. When Christian said that he and Edge have been training extremely hard for this match I fully believe him. When he said that it's all three teams first time at Wrestlemania and they wanted to leave a mark...I fully believed him. I just know they have been working on something special for us. The expectation for this match are just HUGE, and I honestly think they will not disappoint. I know all three of these teams want to steal the show, and I think this match has the potential to do just that. That being said, this will also be the hardest match for me to watch, as I love all three teams, and I find it practically impossible for me to pick a winner. As much as I adore the Hardys, and think they are the best Tag Team in the WWF, I think I have to go for Christian and Edge winning here. Like Edge said, they've been busting their asses for a long time, and they've never held the belts, and damn it they deserve them. I agree with this wholeheartedly!! I know we've seen the Hardys vs. Edge and Christian a million times before, but think about the actual story they are giving them now, and in that context a new set of matches, this time for the Tag team belts, could make April a very memorable month indeed. All I ask is that the WWF give these guys as long as they want to wow and amaze us with their insane bumps and crazy spots. I just hope they are all as careful as they possibly be, and are able to put on the caliber of match, I know they have in them to give us...ok, enough from me about this match....Sorry, I tend to get a little over-excited sometimes...

2 falls/2 belts on the line: Jericho vs. Benoit vs. Angle: Talk about a powerhouse about high expectations. I fully expect to be blown away out there by these three. I think their styles mesh very well, and I have a strong feeling we will see something very special take place in that ring. Now this is what I hope happens. The first fall is for the Euro-belt. I see Angle winning this fall, and retaining this belt. He celebrates wildly, and almost forgets he has yet another match to get through. The second match is even crazier than the first, as the longer these 3 go, the more focused they become. After a thrilling match with many near falls, Benoit picks up the victory, making it a true Radical night. As I see it, Jericho doesn't need to hold the IC belt right now, as he is WAY over. Give the belt to Chris Benoit, who despite being an incredible worker, needs a little extra something to turn the fan's heads. This leads to a thrilling rivalry between the two Chris's culminating in a match at Backlash for the IC belt.

Ok, now the Main Event, or according to WWF advertisement for Wrestlemania, the only match on the card...

Fatal Four Way Elimination Match: Foley vs. HHH vs. the Rock vs. Big Show (with a McMahon in each corner): I really wish that their wasn't a McMahon in each corner, because like I wrote earlier, the McMahons have a tendency to steal the spot light away from what's going on. Now it's certainly no secret who I want to win this match. In my estimation there can be only one winner and that is Mick Foley. In last week's column, I wrote how I wanted the match to end, with Foley getting the pin on HHH, going out on top, as champion. The locker room empties and gives him the send off he deserves. Let me amend this a little bit...Besides seeing Mick come out on top, I desperately want to see Stephanie cold cocked by her mother Linda. After the "slap heard round the world", Stephanie deserves a taste of her own medicine big time. So I see Stephanie attempting to waffle Mick with a chair, and Linda comes to his rescue, attacking her own daughter, marking the first time Stephanie takes any kind of significant bump, since being married to HHH and becoming Evil Stephanie.

Needless to say, I see the last three matches turning up the Heat big time, and ending WM 2000 on a super high note. I will definitely be watching, hoping and praying that the WWF do the right thing by Mick Foley, and let him go out as champ. I don't care if its not usually done. Mick Foley is not your usual wrestler....He deserves a hero's send off and I hope he gets it.

Of course I am not taking into account that for all intensive purposes Stone Cold, or more probably, Undertaker can be making their returns...and I don't know what role they will play, but I would be happy to see either one of these guys make a big impact.

Thanks for reading my hopes for this year's Wrestlemania. Above all, I just hope its better than last years, and with the top three matches, I can't imagine how it won't be... Anyway, as usual, I would love to hear what you would like to see at the Big Show. You know where to contact me...

Rebecca Cerese
[slash] wrestling

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