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Rebecca Cerese




Hey all! Yes it is that time again, time for the monthly offering of PPV from the WWF. I have to say first off this will be the first PPV in two months that I won't be attending...but along the same lines, I don't know if I would really want to attend this one. For the first time in a long time, I am very unthrilled about what the WWF is offering to us for $29.95. The matches at the top have the potential to be good, but I have a feeling that the outcomes are already foregone conclusions which I won't be too happy about. Stone Cold's first match back couldn't be any LESS interesting to me...well maybe if he was against naked Mideon...nahhhh that would actually be interesting. And the undercard seems like a thrown together afterthought...I will go into more detail about that later though....

Before I go any further, I just read on LoP that Matt Hardy got injured from a botched German suplex by Edge on RAW. I don't know if this is true, but if it is, I hope for a speedy recovery for Matt. That poor man is so injury prone, I just hope its nothing serious and he's able to return to the ring in time for No Mercy, the PPV that put the Hardy Boyz on the map. In other injury news, I was very concerned about Eddy Guerrero on Raw as well, as it looked like he was legitimately injured in the opening match. I have not read anything about this, so I am hoping it was not serious. It was a shame that the match was cut short, because Eddy was in full heel mode and the promise of him wrestling Jericho was enough to get me salivating...

Ok, so I am going to do something that I don't usually ever do and that is stray from the topic of wrestling. I have been following the presidential election pretty closely and I have a few things that I feel I must get off my chest and since this is my column I am going to do just that. If you don't want to hear my political ranting than skip the next few paragraphs...


I have now watched all three debates and the one question that keeps popping into my head is "Are the American people a bunch of idiots?" Apparently the answer is yes. I want to preface this rant by saying I am not voting for either George W. Bush or Al Gore. My vote is firmly behind Ralph Nader, a man who has the same beliefs that I do on most issues, and a man who has spent his life fighting for the PEOPLE, a man who should have been allowed to debate but instead was forcibly held out of the first debate by State Trooper despite having a ticket to the event. That being said, I still watched the debates because I wanted to have be an informed voter when I cast my vote on November 7. What I have witnessed over the last three weeks has to quote Unfrozen Caveman lawyer (RIP Phil Hartman) "has frightened and confused me." In every debate, George W. Bush came across as ill-prepared and dare I say it, STUPID. There I said it. The man did not give a clear and concise answer to hardly any of the questions he was asked. He stumbled around for a way to fill up a two minute answer without saying a damn thing. On more than one occasion I came away with the distinct impression that he had absolutely no idea what Jim Lehrer or the person asking him a question was talking about. The only times he became truly animated and talked at length were when he was talking gleefully about the death penalty or about raping the nature preserves in Alaska. I have never in my life seen someone talk so much and say so little. I don't think he ever directly answered a question, and then of course he would say that Gore was the one avoiding the issues. Don't get me wrong, I am not a strong Gore supporter, but at least this man is intelligent and knows what he's talking about. I mean was there one time during the debates that an issue was brought up that Gore didn't know the full history of what was discussed and the names of laws pertaining to the issue. Yes, he might be pompous, he might be aggressive, but in my mind, I would rather someone aggressive at the table with world leaders than someone who can't string together even one cohesive sentence. I mean picture George W. trying to mediate a peace summit in the Middle East...that is a scary thought. During the third debate they kept showing Gore's reaction when George W. would open his mouth and say something once again that was idiotic...and I kept thinking that Al was saying to himself..."I'm losing to this guy?" I also thought that perhaps they should have taken the Smackdown challenge because it seemed at times that Al Gore was going to tackle George W. to the floor and start punching away (How cool would that have been?). The thing that I don't understand is George W. is ahead in all the polls, and when they talked to "undecided" voters after the debates, they were strongly swayed by George W. in all his moronic glory. Which leads me to believe that obviously the American people are a bunch of morons themselves. I can't wait till this Friday when George W. is a guest on Dave Letterman. I am hoping that Dave will be able to do what no one else has been able to do and that is open up the eyes of the American people to what George W. really is. I truly don't believe how they don't see it already, but apparently I am giving my fellow Americans way to much credit.


Thanks for indulging me, I had to get that out of my system. I am sure I will get a lot of hate mail for these strong words and all I have to say is send them to me...I will argue this point till the cows come home...

Now onto the real Rants...

I have gotten an idea that I would like to share with all of you. Lately I have found myself conflicted about Lita. On one hand I love her, her toughness, her cool high flying moves (when she actually hits them correctly), but one thing I do not like is how she sucks all the heat away from the Hardys. There is no reason that the fans should be chanting Lita throughout a Hardy Boyz match that she isn't even in. This just serves to piss me off to no end. The Hardys deserve better treatment than this, and I have come up with a perfect solution. I think that Lita should leave the Hardys and become Raven's valet. Raven is always better when he has a woman by his side, and wouldn't it be cool to see how Raven could seduce her away from the Hardys...well it would be fun for me anyway. That way, stealing the lovely Lita away will get Raven over huge as a heel, and it will free the Hardys to do what they do best, steal the show with there excellent wrestling, and continue their reign as the Tag Team Champions. I think Lita would fit in very well with Raven...anyway this is my idea...and I hope the WWF do something like this...

Continuing on the Hardys for a minute, I just want to say they have been looking absolutely super out there lately. Jeff Hardy seems to be back in the groove, doing his insane moves, and looking fresh and innovative. Matt as usual, is the solid foundation, carrying the bulk of the match on his back, but getting very little of the credit. Kudos to them for putting on consistently the best matches on TV. Double Kudos for their chance at the Main Event this past Monday when they were involved in the six man match with the Rock, Kurt and Christian and Edge. (Obviously I was thrilled that Christian was once again in the Main Event as well.)

So my question...who the hell are the Hardys going to face at No Mercy. In a way the only team they can face is Edge and Christian, but in a way it would be unfair to put these teams against each other again in the same PPV that last year marked a turning point in their careers. Esp. since they have already put on 3 or 4 mind-blowing matches this year that equaled or bested the infamous Ladder Match from No Mercy. The thing is right now the only team the Hardys have any kind of rivalry with are Edge and Christian. No, the 2Blondes are not allowed to challenge the Hardys for the belts again, but that hasn't stopped them from stalking the Hardys, even going as far as dressing up like the Conquistadors to attack them. So I have a feeling it will be the Conquistadors challenging the Hardys for the belts, even though this makes no earthly logical sense, and basically totally sucks. The Conquistadors have had one match...I am willing to bet they probably fight on Smackdown too, and that makes them the #1 contenders for the titles...I think not. Also this ridiculous pretense that Edge and Christian are not the Conquistadors is an insult to my intelligence. This is what I hope is going to happen...the Conquistadors will lose and then the Hardys will rip off their masks, revealing Edge and Christian, and then they beat them into bloody pulps. The one thing, I am praying doesn't happen is the Conquistadors win...the Hardys deserve a longer title reign than one month and I have a good feeling that they will get one.

Also in the no logical explanation file is Billy Gunn getting an IC title match for his first match back. Ok, so at least this rivalry has some heat to it going in. Eddy has done a great job of going after Gunn, beating him up and then taunting him on the gurney (EDDY MAKES SUCH A GREAT HEEL!!) but I would think that the WWF would have given Billy a few matches on TV before throwing him back in the ring on a PPV. But what do I know? I am just a lowly wrestling fan. The good thing is, Eddy can probably carry him to a good match, the bad thing is if Eddy is hurt, I don't know how good this match can be, and it would also mean that Gunn would take the belt from him. Now that I think about it, Gunn will probably get the belt anyway with some help from the scorned Mamacita....hell hath no fury after all....I don't know, this match has quite a few factors that could add to it sucking, but it does have Eddy and if he's healthy I think he will at least make it watchable.

Jericho vs. X-Pac: Despite my long standing hatred for X-Pac, I have sort of been sucked into this feud, and I'll tell you why, the intensity of Y2J. Like Benoit he has a way of making things seem so intense...I think the WWF has done a really good job at getting me to actually care about this rivalry...that being said though, I think this should be the blowoff match and the end of this rivalry after this match. I have heard that it will possibly be a steel cage match, and that's pretty cool. But I am also thinking, Jericho won last month at Unforgiven, and we all know how seldom X-Pac I have a sinking feeling that X-Puke is going to come out the victor while I am screaming obscenities at the TV, lamenting the unfair treatment of Chris Jericho and wishing that he would join Eddy Guerrero and go back to what he does best which is be an obnoxious, smart mouth HEEL...

So I am thinking there will also be a rematch for the European championship between Al Snow and William Regal. Giant props to Al Snow for being so damn funny on RAW this week, coming out representing England. That picture he had of Mr. Regal was a classic as well. Somehow I don't see poor Al regaining his belt this time around either...I think they will keep it on the real European...

I guess there is going to be some kind of RTC match, and some kind of match with the Acolytes or the Dudleys. I am hoping Raven and Tazz have a spot too...of course there will probably be a women's match because everyone wants to see Lita as well. The thing is I don't know. Why aren't the Dudleys in a real feud? I thought there was potential with them and Raven and Tazz, but that seems to have been forgotten. T&A and the Acolytes on Raw this week just didn't click at all, so I am hoping we don't have to sit through a rematch at the PPV. The thing is, I just don't know and I think the WWF really dropped the ball on this PPV. I think that they think that since this is going to be Austin's first match back they don't have to build up the rest of the PPV. This is ridiculous, and I'm telling you right now I certainly am not going to pay my hard earned money to see a glorified squash match that would never happen in real life.

Yes, as you can tell, I am SOOO not looking forward to this Stone Cold match. I can't imagine it being any good at all. I love how Stone Cold keeps saying "your not going to see any armdrags, or drop kicks"...oh yeah, when was the last time Austin did a drop kick anyway...The only way I can see not being totally bored to tears from this match is if the WWF throw in some giant GTV comes on in the middle of the match showing that it actually wasn't Rikishi at all, it was someone else. But I don't' see that happening, so I don't hold out much hope. I can see the WWF doing something like having Rock interfere and maybe costing Stone Cold the match...starting this rumored heal turn for Rock...oh that would be exciting...NOT!!!

I am going to stop talking about this Stone Cold situation because it does nothing but upset I will talk about the two matches on the card that do hold some interest for me...and that is HHH vs. Benoit and Kurt Angle vs. the Rock. I think I would be more excited about the world title match if I actually thought that Kurt had a chance in hell of winning. Unfortunately I don't think he does. Of course I am hoping that the wonderful bookers in the WWF are thinking well no one thinks Kurt has a shot in hell of winning, so lets make him win, and swerve them all. It could happen, I guess...ok, so let a girl dream ok. I have been begging for months to get the belt off the Rock. Even Sharon, a devout Rock fan thinks its time for Rock to drop the belt...Kurt would not have been my first choice though, my first choice would have been Benoit, but he is otherwise occupied on Sunday...but still I would definitely settle for Kurt as the new champ. He is just so damn cool...those smirks that he gives to the camera are the best. He may play the stupid role, but he is in complete control of the situation. I love it. And I just have to say, I loved HHH's confrontation with him on Raw this week...totally awesome stuff from both men. So maybe King Kurt will be Champ Kurt after this Sunday but I doubt it.

And moving right along to the Canadian Crippler...similarly to the Kurt, I don't think he has a chance in hell of winning over HHH. First off, on TV he has gotten the upper hand the last few weeks, never a good sign for victory at the PPV. Plus I just don't think that HHH will job to him. I hope I am wrong, because I would love to see Benoit come out on top. I would also love to see the match turned into a #1 contender's match as well, and the winner takes on the champ on RAW the next night. Then I would not be unhappy if the Rock won, and Benoit did, and then he could get his shot at the title on RAW. Of course he still probably wouldn't win, but you never know...

So I am going to stop here...thankfully, this month I have a way to watch the PPV without paying for because to be honest I don't think I would. Stone Cold is certainly not enough to make me pay my hard earned money, and with the Hardys and Christian and Edge matches not even announced I am unsure of the worth of this PPV at all....still I will watch it...because I am addicted to the WWF, and they have been known shock me from time to time. I am hoping they do the same this weekend. I will be back next week with more to bitch about I'm sure....

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