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Chris Jones




Greetings, people!

To make up for the unfortunate delay in the Mayhem recap, I offer this latest T&A review as a peace offering. It turns out the guy who taped the PPV for me taped this as well, so I figured I'd give it a look-see and see what kind of blatant cleavage we get in this one, brought to us courtesy of the E! Network.

You know, I find I don't watch much of E! anymore. I was a loyal Talk Soup fan back in the days of Greg Kinnear, but now there's really nothing that interests me. I'll catch the Howard Stern show every now and again and I'll check out one of the True Hollywood Stories when they do a cool one like John Holmes and the Wonderland Murders or something like that. But more often than not, I find E! to be yet another number on the seemingly endless list of channels that I have no use for. They do have some pretty hot chicks on their shows, though... like that news chick or the girl that used to do Victoria's Secret ads.

But regardless, let's move forward with this special! And it's not just ANY special, it's an E! ORIGINAL special! The Women of the WCW! "The WCW"... you gotta love it.

E!'s own TODD NEWTON is walking around a gym. In this hour-long boob fest, we'll meet up with Torrie, Paisley, and Ms. Hancock as they travel through their daily routines as employees of World Championship Wrestling.

Some clips of WCW women's action fly as random fans yak about "soap opera for guys" and all that jazz. Hey, there's BARRY HOGAN, manager of the Nitro Grill! I hope he didn't quit his day job. And there's TYLENE BUCK (or "Major Gunns", if you're not in the know like E! is) in a studio interview... sitting down... wearing a bikini. Whoever thought of that deserves a promotion.

DR. MICHAEL LANO, a wrestling photojournalist, talks about the old days. How does being a wrestling photojournalist make you a doctor? Clips of old women wrestlers like Moolah are shown. Todd explains what a "valet" is and we see some Nitro Girls clips. Some hick says he watches WCW over the WWF because of the Nitro Girls. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the guy doesn't have a girlfriend.

Here's clips of Torrie training at the Power Plant. And here's TORRIE WILSON herself at her sit-down interview. "My name is Torrie Wilson and I... um... I don't know what you'd call what I do." TROY MARTIN ("Shane Douglas" to us dummies) is impressed with Torrie. Torrie always wanted to do something in acting, but she didn't expect it would be in wrestling. Here's Torrie working out... WOO, look at them boobies. Summing up, her job with WCW started because Kevin Nash wanted to screw her.

Here's SHARMELL SULLIVAN, better known as "Paisley", in her sit-down interview. She was touring with James Brown when her close, personal, long-time friend Tygress told her about Nitro Girl auditions. And here's Tygress, or VANESSA SANCHEZ, telling us how she was a CPA before becoming a Nitro Girl. I went to school with a Vanessa Sanchez, how odd. Tygress gives us comments on her outfit, as well. Paisley was Nitro Girl "Storm" before becoming a regular character. She details the intense pre-planning that WCW rigorously follows by explaining how she was told on a Friday to buy a purple outfit because on Monday she'd become Paisley.

And finally, here's STACY KEIBLER telling us how even though she gets in the ring, she's not really a wrestler. You tell ‘em, girlfriend. We see pictures of a lil' Stacy. She won the Nitro Girl Search contest, if you recall, and Paisley tells us how some people (see: Paisley herself) were upset about how Stacy went from winning a contest to becoming a regular character in about a month. Footage of a Hancock table dance plays as we're told that Stacy's push hasn't gone to her head.

Stacy's entire family tapes WCW to keep tabs on her. Paisley has a math degree and her parents weren't too wild about her career choice, but they're supportive. Torrie's mom was really into it until Russo took over and Torrie started taking part in hidden camera sex tape angles, some of which we see. Torrie doesn't actually blame Russo, but duh. Torrie says she doesn't dress like she does on TV. She doesn't dress or walk for "throwing my boobs around". Huh huh, she said "boobs". Stacy had watched WCW and wondered what Torrie would be like when she met her backstage, but they're the best of friends. She points out that it was stereotypical of her to think a beautiful blonde like Torrie would be a snob. No, it's not, most of ‘em ARE.

More clips of WCW action flies as Todd tells us that not everybody thinks more women wrestling is a good thing. CHUCK PALUMBO says it's not that they're women, but that they're "green". Congratulations, Mr. Palumbo, here's your "Ironic Comment of the Year" award. SCOTT STEINER would get on his back for one of them, but not in the ring... wink wink, nudge nudge. SHAWN STASIAK says the women are "sex appeal". And people think he's dumb? I don't get it. Torrie points out how the fans pop for catfights and she thinks we'll see a lot more of it.

Up next, the girls train at the Power Plant! And we go to a house show where we get a look RIGHT UP Stacy's skirt! WOO!

Hey, if you wanted to catch the E! True Hollywood Story on Patty Hearst, you missed it. Sorry.

We're back as Todd pumps some iron in the gym. Let's catch up with the girls in Atlanta, shall we?

The girls train at the Power Plant every Wednesday and Thursday. Wow, they've got a lot of rings in there. The girls do some falls on the mat. The first day they were there, Torrie cried "like a million times". Paisley seems to enjoy the work, but Torrie's a big baby. DEBRA MICELI, Madusa to the uneducated, is training them. Stacy says Madusa is hard on them at times. Torrie doesn't seem to like her while Paisley raves about her. Madusa literally teaches them how to fall so they don't hurt their boobs (and pop their implants).

Is this what it's like at a WOW show, Clint?

You know, I think I see Daffney and Kimona in there, but they aren't showing them. Torrie does a bunch of standing somersaults and fakes a head injury. Somewhere a doctor checks on her and says she's okay. Madusa says the biggest problem is a little pain stopping things. "Ugh. Get your ASS up." Unfortunately, we don't see the move in question that required the ass lifting.

Up next, the girls get lost!

If you wanted to see "Behind the Scenes: The Grinch", I'm afraid you missed that one, too. This just isn't your day, is it?

Todd's on the treadmill and he leads us into the segment on the girls traveling. Paisley gives us some cleavage as she works out. Meanwhile, Stacy is out shopping. She has a tough time buying pants because her legs are so long. Now we're looking for shoes! God help us, it's like shopping with one of my sisters. Stacy wears a nine, if you're curious. Paisley and Torrie are still workin' it at the gym. Paisley seems excited about everything. Hey, there's BRIAN CLARK of Kronik fame telling us how tough keeping in shape is with traveling. The girls head to a Mexican restaurant and make their orders, but they've gotta get to the show or face the brutal WCW tardy fine. They finally arrive and everything works out.

When we come back... well, something will happen.

If I go the rest of my life without seeing one more Geico commercial, I'll still be sick of them.

Todd's still working out and still saying "the WCW". He mentions his wrestling alter-ego "Sleazy E!". Now it's off to the house show!

Stacy tells us how there's less pressure at a house show because there's no cameras and such. She heads to the ring with David Flair, who cuts a "lover not a fighter" promo until General Rection interrupts the party. Major Gunns is there and TROUBLE ENSUES with the ladies at ringside. The ref forces Gunns backstage, leaving Hancock open to cheat, but David loses anyway. Where'd that shot up Stacy's skirt go? Paisley comes out for a Kwee-Wee vs. Elix Skipper match and details the story of the bout for us.

After the show it's off to a 24/7 convienece store, where the girls load up on candy and junk and... HEY! What about all your training? Another customer in the store says he watches WCW, yet he has no idea who any of the women are... which surely ruins his chance of scoring a back alley hummer. Torrie gets the key to the little girl's room and heads inside.

Up next, the Nitro Girls!

E! Celebrity Profile on Leah Remini. I'll bet that was a ratings grabber.

Todd is getting make-up on as he transforms into "Sleazy E". As he badmouths the women, MIDAJAH appears and kicks his ass. Yeah! You GO, girl!

The girls have arrived in town for Nitro. MOSES WILLIAMS of the production crew tells us how detailed the set-up is. Clips of the Nitro Girls fly as we meet some of them. CHIQUATA ADAMS tells us that Chiquita really is her name. Like the banana! ALLISON PFAU, or "Syren", tells us how they come out between matches and dance. "Baby" SHANNON MCNEILL thinks the Girls are a nice diversion.

ALTO GARY is the choreographer for the Nitro Girls. $100 says the previous statement never makes it into Alto's resume. She tells us how Kimberly started the group, but Kim wanted to go be all famous and stuff and bailed on them. CHAE Y AN says good things about Alto. Chae is the only original Nitro Girl still on the squad. Whisper, Tayo, AC Jazz, Fyre, we hardly knew ye. Baby complains about getting carded at the bars. Quick tip from Baby, girls: if you don't have your ID, dress like a slut and you'll get in.

Chiquata does a good booty shake, says Alto. Hmm, didn't we learn from the Nitro Girls PPV that Tygress does a good one, too? If that isn't grounds for a feud, I don't know what is. Syren has something like a cop gimmick and she once got stopped at airport security because of the handcuffs in her bag. JENNIFER BANCALE, "Starr", also once worked with James Brown until Paisley told her about this job. It's a vicious circle.

When we come back, the girls GET IT ON! In the ring, no less.

If your cable company doesn't have the Style Network, call them up and DEMAND it!

Todd is fully decked out in make-up now and is locked in an arm-wrestling position with Midajah... and GOOD GOD look at those jugs. Midajah reaches over and squeezes Todd's nipple and he loses. Now that's not cool. Somebody should do that to Midajah so she can see how it feels. I selflessly nominate myself.

More hicks comment on the women they like. A little girl in the crowd likes Madusa because she actually wrestles, unlike the others. Ha! Clips fly of the girls doing their various things on Nitro and Thunder as Torrie, Paisley, and Stacy narrate. Torrie calls herself the "slut" of WCW because she's been with 3 guys since her debut. Shane Douglas says he likes looking at Torrie and the others after 19 years of looking at sweaty guys. Stacy tells us about the training that wrestling requires. Scott Steiner says women are inferior to men, but everybody likes a good catfight. Some fans agree with that statement. Some big greasy guy says he thinks the girls can do better moves that the guys. Yeah, sure.

Major Gunns tells the story of how she broke one of her breast implants while practicing with Paisley, but she leaves out important details like "I have breast implants" and "one of them broke", making the story slightly hard to follow.

Up next, Daffney "crashes Ms. Hancock's wedding" (footage from their bridal gown match is shown) and MORE OF MIDAJAH. Stay tuned!

Traci Lords was on Howard Stern around this time. That was probably interesting.

We see clips of the Daffney/Hancock "match" from Bash at the Beach as SHANNON SPRUILL (Daffney) gives comments. Then she screams. Yep. More clips of the match fly. Now here's Gunns and Paisley in a mixed tag match. Paisley reminds the kids not to try it at home.

Todd and Midajah are ready to brawl. They lock up and Midajah goes to work on the arm. Todd reverses to give us a good cleavage look. Midajah fights him off and kicks him to the floor. And we're out!


Eh. It was a nice little puff piece for WCW, but nothing must-see by any means... unless you're a huge fan of one of the ladies involved and the judge is sticking to that "stay 500 yards apart" ruling he made. Not much in the way of T&A either, but the girls are cute and there's plenty of worse things you could do than look at them for an hour.

If it happens to come back around on the E! programming cycle, it's worth a view if you've got nothing better to do. But then again, surely there'll be an infomercial for the George Foreman grill somewhere else on the dial, so flip a coin.

Until next time... adios!

Chris Jones
[slash] wrestling

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