FROM THE DARK SIDE
Is it Just Me…?
In lieu of a subject worth spending 600 words discussing, we present the true friend of any journalist whose creative fountain is running a little dry: the Bullet Column (or if you prefer, the Larry King).
- Is there a more complete wrestler than Chris Benoit? On the mat? Not a problem. Brawling? Not a problem. Lucha highspots? Not a problem. Submission style? Not a problem. As I've said before, he's the real Total Package.
- Speaking of the Total Package, what's with the "new Total Package" Chuck What's-his-name? First, there was the new Mr. Perfect, Sean "Mr. Microphone" Stasiak and now a new Total Package? What's next? Bringing back Buddy Landell to have a new Nature Boy?
- Wasn't it great to see the pop given to the Dean Malenko-Scott Taylor match at Backlash?
- And by the way, isn't funny how much actually WRESTLING there actually is now on RAW? You couldn't say that six months ago.
- Could they hire someone to play Vince Russo on TV?
- Do you, like me, secretly hope that whenever they show a limo pull up on RAW that Ric Flair will get out of it?
- She may not be anorexic nor have enough silicone to float a small boat, but give me Stephanie McMahon over any of the other wrestling women of the moment.
- And when exactly is she going to defend that belt anyway?
- What's with everyone using the superplex lately? 75% of the matches on Backlash has someone using the move, sometimes both men in a match.
- What ever happened to the tag ropes?
- Is getting a root canal more or less painful than trying to watch Nitro, as improved as it may be?
- Can someone explain why the Dudleys are faces? Wrestling may be built on sexism (not to mention racism and xenophobia), but slamming valets (even if they are heels) shouldn't be a face move.
- Good heels should get you to turn in to see them get beaten up. Why are there so many of them now (lead by Shane Douglas) who just make me turn the channel when I see them?
- Is there a wrestler more out of place in a company than Lance Storm is in ECW?
- Is there anything cooler than wrestlers with masks who also wear three-piece suits?
- For the Lucha fans, how long before some kind of angle relating to Elian Gonzalez is done in CMLL or AAA?
- Could Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho please feud until Survivor Series? They could wrestle one or twice a month on TV and I'd never get tired of it. And I bet they would have fresh matches too.
- Wouldn't it have been great for David Arquette to defend the WCW title against Flair, then have the Nature Boy win the match and walk away with Courtney Cox?
- Is one of the reasons that HHH gets such great heel heat is that he refuses to use catch phrases?
- How long before we see the return of DAVE Hebner? Holy twin referees, Batman.
- Have you noticed the return of old-school heel tactics lately, like pulling tights or putting one's feet on the ropes to win matches?
- Could Scott Steiner still do a Frankensteiner today?
- What's cooler – Benoit's Triple German Suplex or Jericho's Double Power Bomb?
- How many people watching RAW these days don't remember a 100% Steve Austin and I'm not even talking about before the Owen Hart tombstone?
- Should any wrestling company ever run in Kansas City during the month of May again? And did anyone realize that Slamboree was on Owen's birthday?
- At this rate, how soon before the Big Show breaks the record for most face-heel turns, which is probably held by either Barry Windham or Lex Luger?
- He's not year 2000 friendly, but how great would it be for Perry Saturn's place in the R4dicals to be taken by Bobby Eaton?
- Is anyone just sick and tired of tables and chair and hardcore matches?
Special thanks go out to indy wrestling manager Platinum Nat (firstname.lastname@example.org) and "aristocrat" Baron Von Kinospiel (email@example.com), who were part of the bull session where many of these topics were discussed.
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