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The Cubs Fan



Okay, so I was home for Thanksgiving, and there (perhaps in cosmic exchange for not getting the Cartoon Network or some other fine programming), I get America One. Since wrestling is cheap programming and willing to pay to be on a 'National' (if not much seen or watched) network and A1 needs something to buffer the infomercials, they've got GOBS of wrestling on. At one point, a few months ago, they featured 6:30 hours of wrestling on Saturday night - ECW, XPW, NWA Worldwide, NWA Wildside, Memphis Championship Wrestling, WWF Metal and Ultimate Pro Wrestling. That's dropped a bit, as Metal and MCW were dropped...but for some reason, at 3 AM on Saturday mornings, they're running old episodes of MCW they've already aired. Why? Got me, but since I was up, I taped it...

Taped on 5/24?/00
Aired 5/27?/00
Rerun 11/25/00

K-Krush is already in the ring as we start. He shows the fans the Southern Heavyweight Championship belt - they've never had a champion as good looking as him.  Cue Jerry Lawler's music - he wants a shot at the belt. K-Krush says he'll give anyone a shot at the belt - except Lawler. They debate it a little longer, and Lawler promises to get his hands on K-Krush and the belt before the show is over.

Intros. Lots of clips of people you may know (Jim Neidhart, Road Dog, Blue Meanie, Grandmaster Sexay, the Cat, Jerry Lawler) mixed with people you don't know (MCW people).

Your announcers are David Jett? and Lance Russell. The regular color guy, David Webb is out. The Southern Tag Team Champions Bull Pain and Todd Morton will take on the Mean Street Posse - but Pete "Gas" was taken out at a recent house show, so they're down to Rodney and Joey Abs. And, a special interview with Bobcat - she was a WWF Hardcore champion for a few seconds last week.

In the woman's restroom, Bobcat converses, Joey Abs' girlfriend. And the only reason I know that much is because Bobcat asks her if she's Joey Abs' girlfriend. Bobcat: "What's up with those goofy sweaters you're always wearing?" "What's up with you're hair?" "Don't you know who I am? I'm the former Hardcore Champion!" "Oh yea?" and she knocks Bobcat to the floor and rips Bobcat's pants off, leaving her paralyzed in pain (well, from the way she's acting) - guess Bobcat will need a new outfit.

Already laughing, we join Bull Pain and Todd Morton (w/Alky Holic) and the Southern Heavyweight Belt). They're the KAW contingent - which this this promotion used to be before Lawler jumped from rival Power Pro Wrestling and changed things to Memphis Championship Wrestling. KAW once featured "a dime bag of pot on a pole" match, if I recall correctly, so certain things had to be toned down when Lawler and the WWF joined. Storyline wise, these guys are still bitter. 

Back to Morton and Pain. Morton: "Mean Street Posse 'wah wah we want a title shot we want a title shot!' Well, you want a title shot, we've already got rid of one of you, Pete "Gas", and if you guys want a title shot with us, well, , another one of you just may get eliminated. But we'll do this...under one circumstance. No, make that two, under two circumstances. It's KAW rules, which we know you Greenwich, Connecticut preppies can't handle, and one more thing, our main man here [points to Alky] is the referee!" Taking a break from drinking his Budweiser, Alky assures us that he'll call it right down the middle. He's the KAW senior referee. Pain: [imagine a guy trying to sound like Hawk] "Mean Street Posse, you cried and you whine and you whimpered to the committee. You went to Bruce Pritchard, you begged, you pleased, you got on your hands and knees and you said 'Please Bruce please! We're up in the WWF, getting our asses kicked, please have us let us a belt down here in MCW, so the men upstairs look down on us with a little more respect. Well boys, and I do mean boys, you coming into our territory and our back yard, look into the eyes punk. The title shot will be happening, I guarantee you. It's KAW rules, that's our side. We've got Alky Holic as the referee. What do you guys got? Nothing, that's what you got. And remember this boys - it's a title shot - if you make it to the ring."

After a break, we come back to see the KAW team beating down Rodney in the back. They walk straight out to the ring, having only Joey Abs left to deal with.

Todd Morton/Bull Pain vs the Mean Street Posse, Southern Heavyweight Title, KAW Rules - Morton talks about the beating for the fans who didn't see it. Joey Abs comes out all by himself and goes after both men. No sign of any girlfriend here. The works for all of 2 second till Pain hits him with a chair. (KAW Rules.) Generic double team beating, but a double whip backfires and Joey Abs gets a roll up just to demonstrate that we have a heel ref. More general beating, with KAW almost winning on a swinging neckbreaker. Why use your fists and your feet when you brought chairs with you? I dunno. An elbow drop get 2. Cover again, 2. Joey Abs fights back for a second, but then he's beaten down on the ropes. Morton with a knee crusher. Pain with a jawbreaker, and Morton gets a two count. See, having a drunk ref is bad, because he counts slower. Double headbutt. Bodyslam. Double foot stomp to the midsection, cover, 2 count, Rodney's in with a chair. Posse on fire - Joey with a Falcon Arrow. When Alky won't count, Rodney smashes the beer can into his head. Pain is thrown out - Crucifix powerbomb for Morton, Rodney slams Alky's hand down three times, and that counts. (4:06) The Posse are your new Southern Heavyweight Champions. They take the belts, while the KAW team argue between themselves. I'm not sure what Morton and Pain are doing, but I do know that the Posse have traded the tag team titles since then. Joey Abs has split off from them (and is allied with the Dupps), and they're teasing dissension between Rodney and Pete.

Upcoming appearances. There's more of these through out the show, but I kinda edited them out.

In the back, Curtis Hughes is on the phone. Talking to Chris Jericho, we're supposed to think. K-Krush interrupts him - he's got a plan.

Steven Regal is in the ring. "Once again this week, I have to face Reckless Youth. After eleven weeks of being here, beating him every single week, I'm about bloody sick of it. There's nothing more I can do this young man. When I first came here, I actually thought that all Americans were cowards. He's not a coward, he's just bloody stupid. He doesn't know what's good for him. He keeps getting back in here, every single week. Well, quite frankly [ring announcer] David Jett, I've got to better things to do. I've got one of the biggest matches of my life tomorrow against Chris Benoit, and I can't be wasting my time with a pathetic little specimen. So, I think I'll just leave - he can get on with his life and just - just leave me alone and that'll be all." Regal is the coolest. Of course Reckless runs in and attacks anyway...

Steven Regal (w/Lady Ophelia) vs Reckless Youth - Youth with rights a fire, whip, back heel kick. Right, Right,  right, right, right, kick , kick, corner whip, Regal springs  out in to a backdrop. Regal rolls out, so Youth slides out - right into a full nelson. Regal holds him for Ophelia to slaps, but Youth ducks and Regal gets it. Ophelia doesn't appear to be Mona/Molly Holly here, but I'm not sure when/if Molly ever was Ophelia. Regal thrown in, Youth to the top, flying cross body that doesn't hit right, whip, Regal reversed it, back suplex that regal turns around to drop him in front. Kick, kick, pick up, knee, knee, European Uppercut. corner whip, forearm. Chin lock, shot to the head. Right, forearm. Really good forearm. And Another. Snap mare, knee to the head. They look so good because he's barely pulling them. If at all. Whip, clotheslines misses, Youth grabs the ropes and then pushes down Regal - jacknife cover gets 2. Whip, reversed, flying headscissors by Youth. La Majistral cradle, but in the ropes.  Youth with punches, corner whip, run into the boot. Regal with a suplex, fall behind, reverse cradle, 3! (3:04) Youth is happy, Regal is shocked. "I actually won the match Lance!" I think y'all know how much important Regal's match the next day ended up being, so this was probably good strategy. Youth, unhappy with the way he was asked to wrestle, left MCW shortly before his developmental contract ran out and is now working East Coast indies.

In the Back, Jim Neidhart is oiling himself up. K-Krush talks over his plan - making sure Lawler doesn't get at Krush' shot this week. Apparently (since I didn't accidentally only tape half of this segment like I did Hughes'), Krush, Hughes and Neidhart took on Jerry Lawler, Bill Dundee and Bitty Little. The face team won, which bugs the heels.

Bobcat and Vanity repeat the bit from before, so Bobcat still can't go out to do her segment 

David Jett talks to Bitty Little (w/ his midget friend Hollywood): Jett brings up that six man tag, and says that Bitty was getting beat up for most of it. Before he has a chance to respond, K-Krush, Neidhart, Hughes and Vanity show up on the stage. Krush: "Cut that music off, baby. Cut that off. You know, you've been messing in my business for a long time now. So, I got a little surprise for you - I've been working on this thing for a while. First of all, you've got a match with the big man Jim Neidhart." Bitty: "Big deal, look at him!" Krush: "You got a match with Jim Neidhart, and you know what else, that's not all. You've got a match with big man Curtis Hughes tonight - a handicap match. You wanna mess with the Unit, then we're gonna show you what the Unit do!" I guess they're unit.  They all come to the ring...I guess that match is now.

Bitty Little vs Jim Neidhart and Curtis Hughes (w/K-Krush and Vanity)- This is the second handicap match we've had this hour, if you count the non-Rodney portions of that match. Lockup with Neidhart, allowing Hughes to get punches in. Jim holds him for more punches. Double whip, double elbow. Choke in the corner by Neidhart.  Powerbomb!  No cover, Hughes picks him up for a headbutt. Jim holds him for a knee drop. Axe handle to the back. Bitty tries fighting back, but Jim grabs him in a double underhook for Curtis to pound on his back.  Body slam. K-Krush is talking, but I can barely hear him. I think the gist of it is that if Bitty wins, he gets a title shot. Whip, big boot from Hughes. Body slam from Jim. Hughes whips Bitty in to a clothesline from Neidhart. Krush announces the title shot over the house mic so the fans know what's going on. Neidhart pulls down his straps to let a huge gut go free, and starts talking to Krush. Hughes charges into the corner, eats boot, and Bitty rolls up Neidhart - that's 3. (3:15) Lance Russell: "This is a night of miracles!" Hughes is paying attention to Krush and Neidhart arguing now, so he  gets rolled up too. (3:30) Eh. After the Unit stops arguing, they realize they better beat down Bitty now. And they do. Body slam for the midget! K-Krush and Neidhart team up for a Hart Attack on Bitty, and that's it. Jim Neidhart was let go just before the Owen Hart lawsuit was settled, but he was moved out of Memphis only a couple weeks after this. I think Curtis Hughes got let go too.

Here's some clips from a recent MCW outdoor show (an outdoor BBQ) are shown. Why do they have a "Shotgun Saturday Night" apron? The world may never know

Bobcat comes out to the (no!) Aqua's "Barbie's Girl" David Jett: "Bobcat, happy to see you out here. A lot of people might have not realized it, but if you watched Monday Night Raw, just last week, there was a little instance where the Godfather was fighting Crash Holly, the Hardcore champion, and one of the Hos jumped in the ring and pinned the Crash Holly and won the Hardcore title. Now, that Ho lost it back a few seconds later, but did you know it, MCW's own Bobcat was that ho that won the Hardcore title. [Crowd cheers.] What's it feel like, being a former Hardcore champion?" "Well David Jett, you really don't have to" and then Bobcat trails off but since she gets cut off moments later by Vanity's music ("Brick House" by the Commodores), it doesn't really matter. Vanity gets in the ring. And Vanity is too quiet to be made out, but she's mostly making fun of her for being a ho. She gets cut off by the Fabulous Rocker (w/road sign and Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy for this Shirt"), "Both of you freaks, shut your mouth." Rocker joins the party in the rocker. Rocker explains that no one wants to either one of them out there, and that Bobcat's not really a hardcore champion. Rocker challenges Bobcat to a hardcore match right now.

Bobcat vs the Fabulous Rocker - Why was Vanity out there, anyway? Maybe it makes sense later. Lockup, Bobcat thrown to the mat. Lockup, Bobcat with a leg trip. Apparently, Rocker's also gotten a recent win over Hollywood (the midget.) Anyone who just fights midgets and women is cool with me. Lockup, headlock by Bobcat, off the ropes, shoulderblock (I guess - the camera happened to notice that the Kat was now at ringside and was more interested in that), Bobcat with a hiptoss.  Headlock, back to the cat, Rocker pushes her into the corner. Bobcat rolls out side, the Kat with an eye rake and rolls her back in. Kat's not with Rocker - she has other issues with Bobcat, I think. Rocker with a right, bodyslam. Going up, moonsault misses. Bobcat goes up, Rocker beals her off. Rocker peels of his shirt and shows his skinny frame. Flexing his muscles, going up top - Swanton Bomb for 3. (2:21) Rocker goes for the sign, but that quick, Curtis Hughes is in to chokeslam Rocker. I'm not sure why. Hughes stands and looks at Rocker for a while, then leaves. Rocker leaves after. The Kat comes in and bends over to talk to Bobcat, which allows everyone to see that she is wearing underwear this week. "Even if you like it Hardcore, it doesn't make you a Hardcore champ." The Kat's dress, barely covering her as it was, ends up pulled up more so that half of her behind is uncovered by the time she starts to leave - and gets nailed with the sign from Bobcat. "Now that's Hardcore." Bobcat's stuck in internal MCW limbo -  I think she's got a WWF developmental deal. The Fabulous Rocker has moved on to fighting people his own size and gender and changed his name to the Rowdy Rocker.

Bitty Little and Hollywood talk in the back about the K-Krush match. They're wondering how they'll deal with whatever trick K-Krush decides to pull, but Hollywood has a plan, and shows Bitty...a mask? Odd. Anyway, Lawler comes over - he wants a return on the favor he did for Bitty last week, including him in that big six man tag, "even Vince McMahon saw it!"

K-Krush (w/no one) vs Bitty Little Masked Man #1 (w/Hollywood) - Krush raps before the match, but MCW needs better house microphones or something. Masked Man #1 is "Bitty Little wearing that mask Hollywood had", assuming Little gained a lot of pounds during that last commercial break. #1 attacks before the bell with punches and kick. Suplex. Russell notices the weight gain too. Kick, kick, kick, kick, shot into the turnbuckle.  Shot into the turnbuckle.  Big right from Krush, which Russell thinks was loaded. He did go in his tights, but did it too fast to see. Kicks, while Lawler's starts to plays. K-Krush looks at the stage - that's Bitty Little in the King's outfit. Which means...Krush is distracted and #1 rolls him up for pin - that's 3. (1:13) Of course the mask comes off to reveal Jerry Lawler.  Krush is besides himself and the good guys celebrate. For a while. Russell: "All the world seems a little brighter right now."

Some ads, and that's it.

You know, the recent episodes I saw (before the lost? their America One Deal) were much cooler - the HBK kids were there, the Dupps were in, guys who couldn't do much like Hughes and Neidhart weren't there.  And the ones they've got going now (as they're doing an interpromtional angle with intra-city rival Power Pro Wrestling) sound really cool. This show was not so good.  Predictable is the nicer way of saying it. The Regal/Youth match was good, though. If they do get back on America One, I'd check them out.

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Guest column text copyright (C) 1999 by the individual author and used with permission