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Petes Detenbeck




Alright buckos, spread those legs and shout "WAAZZZZUP" cause here come's the first edition of Positively... Petes.

To open up, I recently returned from the first ECW show in Canada, at the Hershey Centre in Missaga Ontario.

The whole show was fantastic, with only two flops:

#1; The curtain jerking match between Psychosis and some jobber from "treasure island" (I kid you not!), which included a terrible phantom bump that received the biggest and longest "You f*cked up!" chant of the night. The length? About 3 mins. It ate it HARD.

And #2; Rhino is now TV Champ again. After interfering in a well done Kid Kash/Mickey Whipwreck title match, Kash challenged the Cookie Monster to a match and lost after a nasty spear ("holy sh!t" chant followed) and a goring through a table.

A one week title reign? Has Paul come down with the Russo-titis?

It was fun experience as that I've never been to a house show ever, and at the end of the night I was practically mute because I made sure I got in on every chant and even tried to start my own. Such as "Jaaah-ber!" when Mr.Treasure Island and these Hardy wannabes wrestled, and I shouted random stuff like "Simon says: eat my cock!" or "Simon says: you wuz raped!" during the "Hardlyz" dark match with Simon and Swinger (note: "raped" is a term me and my brother use to described getting beaten brutally by an opponent). I also tried to start a "Cookie-Monster" chant, but most people nearby (mainly friends) gave me odd looks as they forgot about Rhino's old moniker.

I also walked out of the show with a new inductee of the EC F'n W Fanclub, who could only say with glee that it was the most amazing wrestling he ever saw and that Kash and Sandman were the best things ever.

Watch out for the Big Three, buckos! ^_-

Anyways, memorable spots would be Chilly Willy saving Balls from The Baldies, whilst wearing a Ice Dogs jersey. Nice to see that he doesn't need an announcer to keep up his "your hometown is his hometown" gimmick.

Roadkill going off the apron and through a table was a great, if somewhat obstructed, sight to see. But sadly him and Doring decided to embrace after they lost and earned an "Awwwwww!" from the crowd before the "Hooo-mo!" chants began. The FBI is doing okay as a tag team, but Mikey/Tajiri or Doring/Roadkill would be better.

RVD also had some amazing spots against CW Anderson, including a legdrop off the apron onto CW with a chair covering him, and a flying drop-kick into a chair covered CW on the ropes (sadly no Van Daminators or Van terminators were done..). Plus RVD's entrance and exit both added up to about 20 mins and the match was about 10 mins. But hey, anything to appeal the fans, eh?

The last and probably best moment was Sandman's beer challenge where three (planted) fans got to chug beer with the hardcore icon, and then Sandman did beer shots off a female fan's... Naughty bits. ^_-

Anyways, it was a fantastic way to jump-start ECW including Canada in its tours and I hope to see them coming up here some more.

To see if you can hear my almost hoarse voice shouting in my own funlovin' jackassed way, check out ECW on TNN and ECW HardcoreTV, you might just hear somebody shout "HE SAID TORONTO!!!" (yeah, I actually marked out big time on CRZ and reacted to all those pop set-ups with "HE SAID XXX!!!")

For those who wonder how Dreamer is doing after separating his shoulder recently, he was at the show signing autographs for people who bought shirts and his arm was in a sling, so I'd say that the injury was rather bad and he may miss a week or so of matches.

With talks about how WCW may let DDP and Kanyon go, I can't help to feel that the WWF could really capitalize on them as a new tag team. Just think of it...

The Hardy Boyz are tag champs, and during a defence against E&C they're about to do the Twist of Fate, only to get punked out by Page and Kanyon and cause them the titles. Backstage E&C thank them and even add that they're "positively awesome". Anyways, a feud breaks out between DDP & Kanyon and Matt & Jeff, with the Twist of Fate being just a swinging Diamond Cutter as the catalyst. Naturally it'll go beyond being just over a move as possibly Lita gets hurt after a spat with Kimberly and it further enrages the Hardys.

A name for the positively awesome duo?

Why not The Kings of Badda-Bang? ^_-

So Taz (never shall I use that stupid second "z"! ^_^) has yet to squash The King... Damn. I love Lawler, but 'cmon! There must be another way for Taz to make his big climb to fame...

Why not Brian Christopher? Taz has choked out Scotty, feuded with Phatu, and now his dad, so why not include the Grandmaster and make it a grand slam of coincidences?

The way I see it, Christopher should finally admit to the fact that Lawler is his dad, and demand payback for what's happened to his father recently. Out comes Taz and the two have a brawl that needs the whole ref' union and officials to break them up. Maybe even The King pops up to get in a punch or two.

The next few nights Grandmaster Sexay fights Taz with Lawler as his manager, leaving Scotty and Rikishi to do all the Too Cool matches (makes more sense too since they're the ones carrying the team). And at the next PPV, Foley books a No DQ or even Hell in the Cell match as the climax to Brian's payback.

After a long match full of great hardcore spots The King comes in and offers to finish Taz himself with his Kauffman-crippling piledriver, only to get punked out by Brain as he sets up. After a beatdown from both Taz and Grandmaster, Lawler picks himself up to see his own son walking away with the Tazmaniac at his side.

The following RAW sees Brian Christopher cutting a promo with Taz where he explains why he denied being Lawler's son for so long and punked out his daddy last night. The reason? It's a little to Smart oriented, but in an online interview The King said his divorce when Brian was a kid sorta drove a small wedge between them and they never really acknowledged each other as family that much, and their relationship is a little bit more restricted to locker room buddies.

(note: after reading the interview, this is how I interpreted it, so please don't get too angry if I turn out to be exaggerating a little.)

Anyways so now we'd have Too Cool made up of the most over members, and Taz teamed with a badass Grandmaster (obviously he wouldn't be referring to themselves "percolators of thug life") who is mainly having a late rebellion against his dad which could end in an interesting angle of Taz turning on him down the line (LONG down the line, cause we wouldn't wanna Pull a Russo) and leaving a TKO'ed Brian in the ring and The King hopping in to help his prodigal son.

Oh do I ever love drama! ^_^

Everyone is questioning who'd be the next RTC acquisition, and Rikishi is high on their lists, but it makes little sense to me.

Especially with Al Snow doing nothing! ^_-

Just take the old Head Cheese angle and switch it to the RTC, where as Snow is the goofy slip-up member who always costs the RTC their hoped victories over the dastardly WWF and it's smut.

And if him playing the fool isn't enough, Head should have a tie stapled to the base of it's neck and it's hair done up as well.

(Note: This idea was written prior to his Euro' Title win)

Quick Bits

  • Billy "Mr. Ass" Gunn & Rikishi Phatu; The Battle of the Assess. 'Nuff Said.

  • Funaki as the RTC's far east spokesman

  • Sean Stasiak and Mike Sanders are... 100 And 10 Percent! The ultimate teaming of the Perfect One and Above Average One!

    Until next time... Ja ne!

    Peter "Petes" Detenbeck freelance

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    (Peter Detenbeck and Positively Petes are the fevered products of Kanri - KRP.)

  • BLAH


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