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Hey True Believers. Welcome to another edition of ...And Marking Out. To the three of you who actually read on a regular basis: Sorry about my brief absence. Your favorite mark has been traveling the country over that past week and a half, interviewing some of the top names in US wresting today. With the holidays upon us (Christmas just past and New Year's right around the corner) I asked some of the most (or least, depending on your perspective) entertaining sports entertainers the following question:

What's your New Year's resolution?

Here's what a few notables had to say:

Chris Jericho: "Welcome to: And Marking Out for Jericho!!!! And Drop, it seems that a lot of internet smarks think that there is some kind of conspiracy against Y2J. A master plan, if you will. Well, Y2J admits that he has had some ring problems over the past year, but no more. No. From this point on Y2J promises all of the Jericholics the world over that he will never...eevvvvvveerrrrr...botch spots or injure wrestlers and have management look down upon him as 'just another wrestler' again. 2001 will truly be the year when all of my critics will Shut the Hell Up!!!"

Rob Van Dam: [through smoke-filled air] "I don't have to resolve anything, m'man. Don't you know, I'm the whole f'n show."

Rikishi: " I will continue to do what I have always done. I will strive to be WWF champion. I will continue to hurt people people I people like the Rock. He will continue to feel my wrath as others have felt it "

Scott Steiner: " Whaddaya mean you want me to give you a f***ing resolution?! I ain't giving you sh*t!! I ain't changing nothin', you hear me you piece of crap?! I ain't sellin' for nobody, I ain't do no goddam jobs..nothing. And if those punks Ferrera and Taylor try to take this belt from me, then they're just gonna get they're asses kicked by the Big Bad Booty Daddy. Cuz I don't need none of them punks. All I need and care about are my freaks and my peaks, so you can take your goddam resolutions and shove up your ass, Drop! Now print that, you punk!!"

Kurt Angle: "Oh, I'm so glad you asked. Your Olympic hero is going to have an even better year in 2001. From here on out, I will truly no longer be a whipping boy. I resolve to become much more serious in my demeanor, oh it's true. People will take me seriously darn-it!! I will not be a comedy champion. If I have to hurt a few people, use a few bad words, and make some noise around here to be taken seriously, then so be it. Your Olympic hero is tired of all of the abuse. I'm fed up and I'm not taking it anymore. So I'm giving notice to all the WWF Superstars that a new and improved Kurt Angle is going to debut. They had better take me seriously. Or else. And that, my friend, is true!"

Sting: [back in Crow mode] " "

Kevin Nash: "I'm just gonna keep ridin this Insider gimmick with Page until WCW is stupid enough - I mean smart enough - to hire back Scott Hall. Hey Yo!"

Goldberg: [ out of character] I will continue to work hard to be a role model for children everywhere as I struggle against the unfair primadonna image I have behind the scenes. That means no more heel turns, ever. On screen, I also resolve to grow as a wrestler. Much like the Rock has in last years matches with Hunter and Chris Benoit, I will start to incorporate new moves, psychology and sell more for my opponents. Furthermore I will..."

And then I WOKE UP and realized I that I was dreaming and that barring any earth-shattering happens things will pretty much remain status quo for another 365 days. AAARRRGGGGHHH!!!

I hate it when that happens.

I'm Out.

Happy New Year Everyone.


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