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Travis Fury




Hey, everyone else is writing a column...
Why not me?

Don't answer that.

So where does one start?
Monday night, of course.
I think it would be a brilliant marketing move for the WWF to sell VHS editions of Raw each week. Keep the prices low, and people will lay the (new, gold) dollars down.
Hell, I'd pony up a piece of my paycheck (if I worked, that is) for a permanent copy of that swank bump Mae Young took. Almost eighty and taking better bumps than the Rock. Who woulda thunk it? Well, okay, you're right...
Lots of people.
Speaking of powerbombs, nice to see the Rock at least TRYING to expand his shoddy array of moves. (TRY being the operative word, here.) Maybe one of the guys in the back pointed out that Sid knows more moves but is still ahead of him in the "top spot in the company, yet I can't wrestle" department, having added the deadly (ha) Crippler Crossface to his arsenal.
Maybe Sid should start calling that move the "Scissorlock."
(Because that joke has NEVER been made before...)

I saw a kid wearing an "RVD 420" shirt at the laundromat the other day. The guy said he didn't watch much ECW, but "RVD's pretty tight." Hey, WCW, wanna REALLY get Tank Abbot over? Make him a smack addict...(I'm assuming he's not one already, see...)

People are seriously talking Tank vs. Sid for a PPV main event. Then again, people also watch "Touched by an Angel."
Maybe Tank could have beaten Sid had he taken out his knife and sworn that he could "fucking kill him."
That really burns me. Scott Steiner gets suspended for cutting a promo which was 150% accurate, yet Abbot gets a main event on Nitro for his shenanigans. Maybe if Booker pulls a gun on Mr. Biggs, he'll get the push that all the SMarks claim he so richly deserves.
"Scott Steiner is a talented worker who is over as a heel...hey, you better
get him off the air NOW! "
Good thinking, WCW.
While you're at it, why don't you just reform the god damned Dungeon of Doom?

Now that I think of it, I'm sure Kevin Sullivan is busy, as we speak, wrapping Ron Reese up in toilet paper, telling his secretary to get Tiny Lister on the line.

(Even more) Random thoughts:

Does Kimona Wanalaya still work for WCW? Howabout the Varsity Club? Steve Williams?

Isn't Vader's "no-WCW" clause on his release over yet? I thought it was only for two years. Hell, the way WCW is going, they could use ol' Leon's help.
Nominee for match of the year: Kane vs. Big Show from this week's Raw. Move over, Raven, KANE is the true master of the DDT. Hahahaha.

If Sarge Slaughter can have a match with Kurt Angle, maybe we'll get to see Terry Taylor don the red hair dye once more, and strut down the aisle against Jeff Jarrett. Laugh now, cry later when Sullivan books it.

I think it's hilarious how all the "big" columnists are calling for Scott Hall to be released from WCW. Hey, exactly how many times did Sid STAB ARN ANDERSON? At this point, I don't think WCW can afford to cut loose any real talent, especially, I don't know...the most "over" guy in the company. But gee, why would WCW need him? After all, WCW RULES! Just ask Mark Madden.

Speaking of ol' Blimpy Boy, can anyone tell me how he got his job? Seriously, I'm a young go getter...maybe if I follow in his footsteps (sans the over eating), one day CRZ will write rants about me (maybe if I change my name to Shannon...hmmm....).
Email me if you know how the Mark got his job. (Puh-leeeease.)

Hey, WWF, feud Edge with Christian, because we've never seen THAT before(tm).
While you're at it, put X-Pac in a program with Kane because we've never seen THAT before(tm).
Or you could do an episode of Smackdown! where Stephanie McMahon "books" matches...because we've never seen that before(tm).
Better yet, maybe Triple H can wrestle the Rock AND the Big Show at Wrestlemania...because we've never seen that before(tm).
Yup, the WWF sure is innovative...and HHH is "the finest technical wrassler" ol' JR has ever seen. Yup.

Ya know, Vampiro may job a lot, but at least he's getting his (half assed) push, and guys like Flair and Jarrett are giving him his rub. He just needs a little bit of gold to make it legit. Maybe the Tag Titles?
Remember when he tagged with Raven, and they were the most over faces in the company? Yeah. That was a nice week before they cut Raven loose. WCW RULES!

On the bright side of things, has anyone seen Konnan lately? Howabout Public Enemy? Steve Austin? The Undertaker?

See, every cloud has a silver lining.


Travis Fury

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Guest column text copyright (C) 2000 by the individual author and used with permission