FLASHBACK: OHIO VALLEY WRESTLING
Yes, we're back with more fun from the WWF's resident Fat Farm, Ohio
Valley Wrestling. This action's from July, which seems old, but it's
all I've got for right now, so what can you do?
Point of Order #1: You may have noticed in my last report
I wrote "Tim Conway" instead of Rob Conway in a match listing. You may
think that was my clever nickname for Rob Conway. If so, please keep
thinking that. In actuality, that was my first time watching OVW, and
they didn't say Conway's first name, so I just wrote Tim Conway and
meant to change it later. Alas, I neglected to do so. Apologies to
both Rob Conway and funnyman Tim Conway.
Point of Order #2: Reader Robert Couture pointed out that
Wolfie D and Slash have the same tattoos, confirming they are indeed
one and the same. Take that, The Rick!
Point of Order #2: Darren MacDonald properly identified
"Ya Playin' Yaself" as being performed by Jeru The Damaja, making it
apropos entrance music for The Damaja. Your ten points are in the
Public Access level opening.
We're on WYCS 24! I think it's July 22! Jim Cornette
is your host! He kicks off the show by running down the OVW title
situation. Two weeks ago, Flash, jealous of Nick Dinsmore's
developmental WWF contract, attacked the champ and stole his belt.
They had a match at the St. Therese Gym on July 9th which saw Flash get
DQ'd yet still retain physical possession of the belt. This brings us
Dean Hill interviews Flash (w/belt). Flash
complains about the DQ rule, calling it "ancient." He then whines about
all the OVW officials screwing him and holding him down. Flash is
pretty awkward on the mic here. Out comes "Mr. Wrestling" Nick
Dinsmore, along with some referees trying to hold him back.
Flash calls Nick a "puss," which doesn't sit too well with Mr.
Wrestling, so he dumps Flash out of the ring and challenges him to a
no-DQ title match right there. Jim Cornette materializes and makes it
"Mr. Wrestling" Nick Dinsmore [C] vs. Flash (OVW Heavyweight
Title match): Didja know Nick teamed with Lenny Lane and got
squashed by Scott Steiner in a handicap match on the 9/28/98 edition of
Nitro? Nick cleans house to start, dumping Flash outside and hitting a
cross body off the top to the outside. He follows it up with a
belly-to-belly superplex back in the ring. Nick misses a Stinger
splash, which allows Flash to grab a chair and unfold it. But Nick
inverted atomic drops Flash onto the chair, and bulldogs him off of it
for 2. Nick tries a drop toe hold onto the chair, but Flash blocks and
then pancakes Nick onto the chair in a nasty looking spot. Nick gets
dumped to the outside, and Flash then hits a triple jump plancha that
would have looked great had he not grazed the top rope on the way down.
Back in the ring, Flash Pillmanizes Nick's arm and hits a nice triple
jump twisting legdrop. Nick makes a comeback and hits a Snowbomb for
2. He then rolls up Flash, but referee Robert Brisko gets
bumped when Flash kicks out. Nick hits the German Suplex, but evil
referee Phil Phair runs in and
counts...a...very...slow...2. Brisko comes to and beats up Phair,
while Flash pops Nick with brass knucks, which only gets a 2 count.
But Brisko gets bumped AGAIN by Flash kicking out (sheesh). Nick hits
a Northern Lights suplex, and referee Nick Dumeyer runs in
and counts 2. Then Dumeyer gets bumped, Flash hits Nick with a chair,
rolls him up, Brisko counts 3, new champ (7:01). Despite the 3 ref
bumps, that was quite the little match.
Mark Henry vs. Shelton Benjamin: They're calling Mark
"Sexual Chocolate" again. Why, I dunno. Benjamin scored an upset win
over The Collector a few weeks back, so I guess Henry's going for
revenge on behalf of his Bolin Services comrade. Benjamin uses his
speed to start, but Henry takes over with his boring, plodding, shitty
looking mid-80's offense. Shelton makes a brief comeback, but Mark
nails him with some brass knucks behind the ref's back for the pin
(5:55). Ugh. Even if they come up with a good character for mark, I
don't know how they're going to overcome the fact that he stinks up the
Cornette interviews The Disciples of Synn (Damien, Slash,
Judas, and Synn). Jimmy announces that Synn has been fined
$1000 for setting fire to an OVW official. She laughs off the fine,
saying it comes out of the Disciples' pockets. Everyone says some
stuff, and they challenge the Payne Thrillers to a first blood match.
To hammer home the point, Slash cuts his forehead with a knife, but
only draws a trickle of blood. Seriously, I've had worse cuts shaving.
The Payne Thrillers run out, but get held back by referees.
--The Disciples of Synn [C] (w/Synn and Judas) vs. Chris
Michaels/Trailer Park Trash (Southern Tag Title Match): Lots of
gold in this match, as Michaels is the OVW Light Heavyweight Champ, and
Trailer Park Trash is the Hardcore Champion. This is the main event,
but it's not at the end of the show. Trash and Micheals clean house on
Slash to start until an eyerake allows the tag to Damien. Damien
doesn't fare much better until Micheals goes for the old "ten punch in
the corner" and gets shoved off. The Disciples go for a double
backdrop suplex, but Michaels flips out and hits a double neckbreaker.
He makes the hot tag to Trash (already?), who dumps Slash and DDTs
Damien. Trash goes up top and hits the leg drop, but Slash breaks up
the pin. Pier six breaks out, and Synn runs in for the weak DQ (2:24).
The Disciples dominate the faces after the match, until the Payne
Thrillers run in for the save. The Disciples got almost zero offense
in the match. Must be taking lessons from Kurt Angle on how to be a
Special Mat Classic segment chronicling the career of "The
Boogie Woogie Man" Handsome Jimmy Valiant, the Boy From New
York. The high point is Jimmy calling Tommy Rich's mom "a big
Dean Hill talks to Kenny Bolin, Thurston
Throckmorton III, and The Collector. Bolin gloats
about what a flash in the pan Shelton Benjamin turned out to be, saying
that's he's got a true prodigy in his stable. This competitor is not
only undefeated, he's beaten Russ McCullough three times and won the
$5000 Battle Royal at the Rockin' Rumble. He brings
out..."Kryptonite" James Crony (can you guess his theme
music?). The joke here is that Crony is a wimpy Jamison look-a-like,
who wins every match by accident or gross amounts of outside
interference, as Cornette is quick to point out. In fact, here comes
Cornette, along with Shelton Benjamin and Russ
McCullough. Cornette says they're here to collect the $5000
that Benjamin won by beating the Collector. Bolin doesn't happen to
have the money on him, so he graciously hands over Crony's $5000 check.
Cornette makes a rematch between Benjamin and the Collector, and makes
McCullough the special enforcer to ensure no interference from Bolin
Services. Bolin, of course, flips out.
Russ McCullough vs. "The Brash, Controversial, and Outspoken"
"Slick" Robbie D: I don't think that's Robbie's official
nickname, but the announcers always say it when they mention him.
McCullough is huge and used to pay pro football, although I can't say
the name rings a bell. He looks like a skinner version of Paul Wright.
I guess this is the main event, although I can't fathom why. We join
this one in progress as Russ misses a charge and Robbie goes to work on
the arm. Match is really boring as Robbie slaps on an array of
armbars. He throws in a springboard clothesline and a gorgeous
clothesline to keep me awake. McCullough then no-sells the arm and
beels Robbie into the ring from the apron. He goes for the chokeslam
but Robbie punches the ref. While Russ checks on the downed official,
Robbie attacks, but gets chokeslammed anyway. Russ goes for the pin,
but the ref DQ's Robbie for that whole punching incident. Whatever
(4:42). Russ doesn't look too good, but I'll give him time.
Epilogue: Big lunks = not good television. And only four
matches this week? Anyway, the opening match was great and the title
change was noteworthy, but they've got to limit the big lugs in the
ring. Still, how can you not like a show that features The Boogie
Send any comments and queries to email@example.com. And check out
www.ovwrestling.com/ for more information. Be back with more soon, be
good to one another 'til then.
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