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Joe Gagne



FLASHBACK: OHIO VALLEY WRESTLING ...Mercy...comes...out...

  • Yes, we're back with more fun from the WWF's resident Fat Farm, Ohio Valley Wrestling. This action's from July, which seems old, but it's all I've got for right now, so what can you do?

    Point of Order #1: You may have noticed in my last report I wrote "Tim Conway" instead of Rob Conway in a match listing. You may think that was my clever nickname for Rob Conway. If so, please keep thinking that. In actuality, that was my first time watching OVW, and they didn't say Conway's first name, so I just wrote Tim Conway and meant to change it later. Alas, I neglected to do so. Apologies to both Rob Conway and funnyman Tim Conway.

    Point of Order #2: Reader Robert Couture pointed out that Wolfie D and Slash have the same tattoos, confirming they are indeed one and the same. Take that, The Rick!

    Point of Order #2: Darren MacDonald properly identified "Ya Playin' Yaself" as being performed by Jeru The Damaja, making it apropos entrance music for The Damaja. Your ten points are in the mail, Darren.

  • Public Access level opening.

  • We're on WYCS 24! I think it's July 22! Jim Cornette is your host! He kicks off the show by running down the OVW title situation. Two weeks ago, Flash, jealous of Nick Dinsmore's developmental WWF contract, attacked the champ and stole his belt. They had a match at the St. Therese Gym on July 9th which saw Flash get DQ'd yet still retain physical possession of the belt. This brings us to...

  • Dean Hill interviews Flash (w/belt). Flash complains about the DQ rule, calling it "ancient." He then whines about all the OVW officials screwing him and holding him down. Flash is pretty awkward on the mic here. Out comes "Mr. Wrestling" Nick Dinsmore, along with some referees trying to hold him back. Flash calls Nick a "puss," which doesn't sit too well with Mr. Wrestling, so he dumps Flash out of the ring and challenges him to a no-DQ title match right there. Jim Cornette materializes and makes it so.

  • "Mr. Wrestling" Nick Dinsmore [C] vs. Flash (OVW Heavyweight Title match): Didja know Nick teamed with Lenny Lane and got squashed by Scott Steiner in a handicap match on the 9/28/98 edition of Nitro? Nick cleans house to start, dumping Flash outside and hitting a cross body off the top to the outside. He follows it up with a belly-to-belly superplex back in the ring. Nick misses a Stinger splash, which allows Flash to grab a chair and unfold it. But Nick inverted atomic drops Flash onto the chair, and bulldogs him off of it for 2. Nick tries a drop toe hold onto the chair, but Flash blocks and then pancakes Nick onto the chair in a nasty looking spot. Nick gets dumped to the outside, and Flash then hits a triple jump plancha that would have looked great had he not grazed the top rope on the way down. Back in the ring, Flash Pillmanizes Nick's arm and hits a nice triple jump twisting legdrop. Nick makes a comeback and hits a Snowbomb for 2. He then rolls up Flash, but referee Robert Brisko gets bumped when Flash kicks out. Nick hits the German Suplex, but evil referee Phil Phair runs in and counts...a...very...slow...2. Brisko comes to and beats up Phair, while Flash pops Nick with brass knucks, which only gets a 2 count. But Brisko gets bumped AGAIN by Flash kicking out (sheesh). Nick hits a Northern Lights suplex, and referee Nick Dumeyer runs in and counts 2. Then Dumeyer gets bumped, Flash hits Nick with a chair, rolls him up, Brisko counts 3, new champ (7:01). Despite the 3 ref bumps, that was quite the little match.

  • Mark Henry vs. Shelton Benjamin: They're calling Mark "Sexual Chocolate" again. Why, I dunno. Benjamin scored an upset win over The Collector a few weeks back, so I guess Henry's going for revenge on behalf of his Bolin Services comrade. Benjamin uses his speed to start, but Henry takes over with his boring, plodding, shitty looking mid-80's offense. Shelton makes a brief comeback, but Mark nails him with some brass knucks behind the ref's back for the pin (5:55). Ugh. Even if they come up with a good character for mark, I don't know how they're going to overcome the fact that he stinks up the ring.

  • Cornette interviews The Disciples of Synn (Damien, Slash, Judas, and Synn). Jimmy announces that Synn has been fined $1000 for setting fire to an OVW official. She laughs off the fine, saying it comes out of the Disciples' pockets. Everyone says some stuff, and they challenge the Payne Thrillers to a first blood match. To hammer home the point, Slash cuts his forehead with a knife, but only draws a trickle of blood. Seriously, I've had worse cuts shaving. The Payne Thrillers run out, but get held back by referees.

    --The Disciples of Synn [C] (w/Synn and Judas) vs. Chris Michaels/Trailer Park Trash (Southern Tag Title Match): Lots of gold in this match, as Michaels is the OVW Light Heavyweight Champ, and Trailer Park Trash is the Hardcore Champion. This is the main event, but it's not at the end of the show. Trash and Micheals clean house on Slash to start until an eyerake allows the tag to Damien. Damien doesn't fare much better until Micheals goes for the old "ten punch in the corner" and gets shoved off. The Disciples go for a double backdrop suplex, but Michaels flips out and hits a double neckbreaker. He makes the hot tag to Trash (already?), who dumps Slash and DDTs Damien. Trash goes up top and hits the leg drop, but Slash breaks up the pin. Pier six breaks out, and Synn runs in for the weak DQ (2:24). The Disciples dominate the faces after the match, until the Payne Thrillers run in for the save. The Disciples got almost zero offense in the match. Must be taking lessons from Kurt Angle on how to be a legitimate champion.

  • Special Mat Classic segment chronicling the career of "The Boogie Woogie Man" Handsome Jimmy Valiant, the Boy From New York. The high point is Jimmy calling Tommy Rich's mom "a big fat slob."

  • Dean Hill talks to Kenny Bolin, Thurston Throckmorton III, and The Collector. Bolin gloats about what a flash in the pan Shelton Benjamin turned out to be, saying that's he's got a true prodigy in his stable. This competitor is not only undefeated, he's beaten Russ McCullough three times and won the $5000 Battle Royal at the Rockin' Rumble. He brings out..."Kryptonite" James Crony (can you guess his theme music?). The joke here is that Crony is a wimpy Jamison look-a-like, who wins every match by accident or gross amounts of outside interference, as Cornette is quick to point out. In fact, here comes Cornette, along with Shelton Benjamin and Russ McCullough. Cornette says they're here to collect the $5000 that Benjamin won by beating the Collector. Bolin doesn't happen to have the money on him, so he graciously hands over Crony's $5000 check. Cornette makes a rematch between Benjamin and the Collector, and makes McCullough the special enforcer to ensure no interference from Bolin Services. Bolin, of course, flips out.

  • Russ McCullough vs. "The Brash, Controversial, and Outspoken" "Slick" Robbie D: I don't think that's Robbie's official nickname, but the announcers always say it when they mention him. McCullough is huge and used to pay pro football, although I can't say the name rings a bell. He looks like a skinner version of Paul Wright. I guess this is the main event, although I can't fathom why. We join this one in progress as Russ misses a charge and Robbie goes to work on the arm. Match is really boring as Robbie slaps on an array of armbars. He throws in a springboard clothesline and a gorgeous clothesline to keep me awake. McCullough then no-sells the arm and beels Robbie into the ring from the apron. He goes for the chokeslam but Robbie punches the ref. While Russ checks on the downed official, Robbie attacks, but gets chokeslammed anyway. Russ goes for the pin, but the ref DQ's Robbie for that whole punching incident. Whatever (4:42). Russ doesn't look too good, but I'll give him time.

    Epilogue: Big lunks = not good television. And only four matches this week? Anyway, the opening match was great and the title change was noteworthy, but they've got to limit the big lugs in the ring. Still, how can you not like a show that features The Boogie Woogie Man?

    Send any comments and queries to And check out for more information. Be back with more soon, be good to one another 'til then.

    Joe Gagne
    [slash] wrestling

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