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Rant for In your House "Buried Alive" (And yes, I spelled Shawn's name right!)
Okay, another CRAPPY WWF PPV from 1996, this time October's IYH, Buried
Alive.
Live from Indianapolis, Indiana
Your Hosts are Jim Ross, The King, and Vince McMahon. JR's mic. doesn't
work, and he smells conspiracy, because this was during his "feud" with Vince.
Opening Match: Triple H vs. Steve
Austin: Currently, this would be the main
event, here it's nothing but an opening match. The WWF champ, in the opener,
with STEVE AUSTIN? How times change. Hunter has zero heat, and Austin has
VERY little. Which, again, is odd to see. Long stall fest, and the top of
this building is a bit empty. These two dumb ass fans in the front row keep
pissing the wrestlers off. Something they would do ALL NIGHT. Hunter is
subbing for Savio Vega, and it appears they seem lost, as they wrestle VERY
slowly. G-D this is boring. No one really gets the advantage for more then 5
seconds, because they basically trade nothing moves. Eventually, Steve gets
pissed, and just starts beating the hell out of him, then locks on a boring
arm bar. Austin keeps working the arm, after a few power moves, and the crowd
is DEAD. Hunter comes back with punches, and Austin returns the favor. Triple
H with a big backdrop, to put in the first GOOD move of the match. Hunter
uses the knee for a 2 count, and goes to more wrestling. Austin draws the
only pops of the match, BTW. Stun Gun hits, and then he hits an elbow from
the 2nd rope for a few 2 counts. MORE knee from HHH, one in the jaw, and then
one from the 2nd rope. Double KO spot, and then Mr. Perfect wonders out,
drawing the only big pop in the match, and wakes the crowd up. He and Hunter
had the issue. He steels his woman, and then gets in Austin's face, which
gets him in trouble. In the ring, Triple H works on Austin, while Perfect
takes his woman. he has the pedigree, but goes after Hennig instead, allowing
Austin to kick his ass from behind. Slingshot to the post knocks him out, and
Austin moves in for the kill. Stunner gets 3, and a big pop. He won them over
during the match. Heated up near the end, but still sucked. 1/4 *.
WWF Tag Team Titles: The British
Bulldog and Owen Hart vs. The Smoking
Gunns: Crowd pretty dead here. Note to self: Never
hold a PPV in the Market
Square Arena. Owen starts with Billy, and they trade mat wrestling to bore
everyone. Lots of stalling. Owen tries to carry this, and can't, but tags
Bulldog, and some double teaming gets it moving a bit. Davey controls with
nothing of note. Bart in, and Bulldog headlocks him for a while, and they do
some criss crosses, ending with Bart slamming him. Bart misses a crossbody
from the top, and Davey controls. Owen tagged, and a missile drop-kick him.
Gets 2. Owen is carrying this whole match. Chinlock by Owen takes forever.
Miscommunication spot by the faces allow Owen a two count. Cheating by the
FACES gets them control. Double Russian Leg Sweep gets two for the Gunn's.
I'll never know how this teams (Gunns) won all those Tag Titles. Bart with a
big swinging neckbreaker for 2. They use Edge/Christians "steeping stone"
spot, which wakes the crowd up. Sidewinder set up, but Bulldog pulls Bart
away. Spin kick by Owen to pin Billy. DUD. Just
terrible.
Ross leaves because his mic. doesn't work, then goes in the ring, and
shoots on Vince. He's pissed because "Vince's butt kissers turned my mic.
off." Hell Yeah! He announces Bret Hart will be on RAW tomorrow.
Mr. Perfect comes out, and does commentary. He hypes RAW, which is a HUGE
theme tonight. WCW was killing them around this point.
WWF IC Title: Marc Mero
vs. Goldust: Sable is with Mero, and isn't AT ALL
like what she looks like now. Oh look at the fire works for Mero.... yep,
that'll get him WAY over, Vince. Slow start, as Mero controls. Oddly, Mero is
wrestling the guy who is playing it gay, after his WCW stint, it's weird to
see. Match picks up, and Marc uses his speed, and LOTS of arm drags too.
Perfect was "with" Mero at this point, helping him win the IC title, and I
think he turns on him the next night. Mero on offense is actually pretty
good, lots of high flying stuff, including a sort-of senton bomb. Goldust
turns the tide with a slam from the top, and beats the hell out of him.
Chinlock up Goldust ruins the flow of the match. Mero comes back, and a long
criss cross hits a flying body block. Crowd gets behind Mero, but Goldust
kills it with a clothesline. He grabs a mic. and insults the crowd getting
HUGE heat for it. Sid suplex by Mero to a pop, and a big moonsault. Crowd is
REALLY into Mero. Curtain Call set up, but Mero flips out, and rolls him up
for 2. Goldust backdrops him to the floor, and Perfect helps him up. Hunter
comes out to threaten him, and then leaves, and Hennig follows. Back in the
ring, a Samoan Drop by Mero, followed by the wild thing for 3. HUGE
pop. ***
1/4.
WWF Title shot at Survivor
Series: Sid vs. Vader: Sid gets a big pop. Odd,
Sid always gets big pops before a world title reign (here, and in WCW) but
once he gets the belt, it seems to die off, and sink a company. Just saying.
Shawn Michaels (who was the WWF champion at that point) comes out to do
commentary, and gets a pretty good pop. Shawn was really cool around this
time, and I was *WAY* into him. Sid controls early on, and is pretty good at
it, entertaining the crowd. Vader comes back and works STIFF in the corner.
Sid gets tossed on the floor, allowing Cornette to work the Smokey Mountain
Magic. Sid comes back really stiff, and does a SUNSET FLIP (!!!), but Vader
sits down on him. Vader LOVES forearm shots, doesn't he? Had this been the
Main Event of Starrcade 1993, it would have been allright. Sid goes to the
TOP ROPE (!!!) and goes for a cross body, but gets caught and slammed. Big
splash would be 3, but he pulls him up at 2. He goes up for the Vader Bomb,
and hits knees. Sid comes back, and SLAMS (!) Vader. Powerbomb set up, but a
low blow breaks for Vader. Crowd LOVE Sid, BTW. Vader tries a Powerbomb, but
can't do it. Quick chokeslam by Sid gets 3. Whoa, match is
good. ***. Sid and
Shawn face off, because they have to fight at Survivor Series.
Dok tries to interview Sid, but JR comes in, and does a REAL interview
asking the tough questions. Funny, as Dok is insulted, because HE SUCKS!
Buried Alive Match: The Undertaker
vs. Mankind: GREAT video package leading
to this match. Slugfest to start, which Undertaker wins. Foley comes back,
and hammers him. Did Mick really pull out all that hair? Mick takes a huge
bump, head first, to the railing, then UT hits a clothesline from the top to
the floor. They brawl to the grave site, where Mankind controls on top on the
dirt mound, and UT SMALL PACKAGES him, and they roll down the hill that way.
They fight back to ringside, and Mick eats stairs. In the ring they go, and
that doesn't last, as UT knocks him to the floor. Foley takes a huge bump to
the railing, from the crowd, then UT hits a flying clothesline over the
railing. Cool. Mick crotches UT on the top rope, and beats on him for a
while. Mick then pulls out a nail, and goes to work on the head. UT gets it
after a while, and uses it on *him.* UT loves to do that flying clothesline
spot, eh? Super high leg drop by 'Taker, and he goes after Paul to a big pop.
Foley finds a chair, and clobbers him. Mankind then LICKS THE CHAIR. Okay,
that was weird. Mick controls on the floor, and pulls UT to the grave, and
puts him in, giving everyone a heart attack. UT comes back, and hammers him
in the grave. Dirt to the face turns the tide, but UT him tosses him down the
dirt. Ouch. Back in the ring, and Mick cheats to win, and hits a big
piledriver. I always liked Mankind's piledriver. UT puts Mick's face under
the chair, and drops a leg. Vicious spot. Mick is SKINNY here, BTW. Mankind
then tries the garentueed-to-never-eeever-work spot, of piledriving someone
on the exposed floor. UT escapes, that and drops him VICIOUSLY to the steps.
He tosses them in, and nearly kills him with the stairs. Tombstone sends the
crowd into a giant frenzy. He carries him to the grave, but Foley hooks on
the Mandible Claw, and he's got the urn. It backfires, and UT chokeslams him
in. He covers him with dirt, and we're done. Whoa. ***
1/4. He then continues
pileing on the dirt, trying to kill Mankind, but the Executioner comes out,
and nails him with a shovel, HARD. He digs Mankind out, and they (along with
some other heels) proceed to bury the Undertaker, ALL THE WAY under. That
takes about 10 minutes too. To this day I don't know how they did it without
him, you know, dying. Anyone know? Anyway, after all the burying is done, a
lightning bolt strikes the grave, and UT's hand comes up, to a big pop.
Anyone know how it was done?
Bottom Line: Well, it's definitely not a BAD
show, as the last 3 matches
save it. The first two SUCKED, but the last 3 are all at *** or more. 3 out
of 5 is pretty good for a two hour show, and even though the wrestling is
okay, the show didn't FEEL like a good show.
So we'll go, Mildly Recommended.
HITMAN383
freelance
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